Thursday, November 10, 2005        Edition: #3156
Here’s More Bull Roar!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY nominees will be announced for the 32nd annual “People’s Choice Awards” (“Late Late Show’s” Craig Ferguson hosts the awards JANUARY 10th) . . . TODAY President George W Bush will present the “National Medals of Arts & Humanities” to authors, musicians & historians, including actor Robert Duvall & trumpeter Wynton Marsalis (Dolly Parton will pick hers up at a later date) . . . Page Kennedy, the actor who plays the guy locked in the basement on “Desperate Housewives”, claims on his Website that the ‘improper conduct’ that got him fired from the show  was ‘getting too friendly with one of the interns’ (SUNDAY is his last appearance as the character is being re-cast) . . . “Live 8″ organizer Bob Geldof says the event’s new 4-disc boxed set is well on its way to becoming the biggest selling DVD of all-time (the concerts themselves already netted $12 million) . . . Reports say that movie actress Halle Berry is pregnant, expecting her first child with actor-boyfriend Michael Ealy (whose previous most famous role was in “2 Fast 2 Furious” – as ‘Slap Jack’) . . . Microsoft is said to be leading a crowded pack of companies interested in buying up AOL (one reason may be AOL owns rival Web browser Netscape) . . . Justin Timberlake, Snoop Dogg, Frankie Muniz (“Malcolm in the Middle”) & Sugar Ray singer Mark McGrath are among the wannabe basketball stars chasing their sporting dreams in the newly-formed ‘National Basketball Association Entertainers League’, a semi-serious organization of 14 Los Angeles-based teams that will take part in a 13-game schedule . . . Even though he knows it’s not for sale, media mogul Rupert Murdoch (FOX-TV) wants to buy the “Wall Street Journal” (in a bid to create the most conservative editorial page in history?) . . . Despite her recent comments that she’d pick NYU, actress Lindsay Lohan isn’t really giving much thought to attending university (she’s already got 4 years of heavy binge-drinking under her belt – what could higher education possibly offer?) . . . And here’s a great argument starter: a panel of recording artists, music journalists, broadcasters & music industry execs has picked the ‘All-Time Greatest Rock Performance’ as Queen’s flamboyant show at “Live Aid” on July 13, 1985, edging out Jimi Hendrix at “Woodstock” on August 18, 1969 (seems this panel has a lot of grey hair!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alison Krauss & Union Station – TONIGHT they guest on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Black Eyed Peas – 30-year-old Fergie (Stacy Ferguson) says she’s never had cosmetic surgery … yet. She might be open to using Botox because she’s been sun-tanning ‘forever’ and damaging her skin. She also says she’ll consider a nip ‘n tuck when age begins to take its toll.
• Elton John – He’s confirmed he’ll wed partner David Furnish DECEMBER 21st. Britain’s ITV claims the ceremony will take place at a charity party for his AIDS Foundation.
• Garth Brooks – TONIGHT he does the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Mariah Carey – She recently performed in Russia at the birthday party of an anonymous gazillionaire, who gave her dozens of unwanted furs in addition to a 7-figure fee. Since she doesn’t wear fur, she gave the pelts to PETA to distribute to the homeless.
• SHeDAISY – They’ve recently shot a video for “God Bless the American Housewife”, the lead track on the recently-released “Desperate Housewives” CD.
• U2 – Word has it Bono always wears sunglasses because he has delayed dark adaptation, an ocular maladjustment whose sufferers can not even open a refrigerator door without being blinded by the light.
• White Stripes – Jack White has decided to change his name during the band’s UK tour to ‘Three Quid’ (slang for British pounds), apparently in some sort of mocking reference to 50 Cent. NEXT WEEK they release the new single “The Denial Twist”.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Jamie Foxx has set his sights on playing former world heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson in a biopic (as a longtime pal, he claims the stuff about Tyson he knows would blow your mind) . . . Even though a production office for the upcoming comedy “Night at the Museum” had been opened in Montréal and sets had been built, the entire shoot is being moved to Vancouver – because star Ben Stiller insists on it (doesn’t like French food?) . . . Michael Douglas is set to star in “The King of California”, a comedy from the producers of “Sideways” about a manic depressive dad who tries to convince his teen daughter that there’s buried treasure in the San Fernando Valley . . . The remake of “Fun With Dick & Jane”, starring Jim Carrey & Téa Leoni, has gone through another round of re-shooting because the original test screenings were not very good . . . This is kinda creepy – 47-year-old Alec Baldwin has been cast as 28-year-old Sarah Michelle Gellar’s love interest in the bigscreen adaptation of Melissa Bank’s book, “The Girls’ Guide to Hunting & Fishing” . . . Emilio Estevez’s independent film, “Bobby”, about the assassination of Robert F Kennedy, keeps getting bigger & bigger, with Lindsay Lohan, William H Macy, Helen Hunt, Christian Slater, Joshua Jackson & James Marsden signing on to join previously announced cast members Anthony Hopkins, Demi Moore, Sharon Stone & Elijah Wood (is this a film or a really, really big Hollywood party?).

IT’S A DOG’S LIFE:
A new Direct Line Pet Insurance poll of dog owners finds that 53% describe their lives as ‘stressful’ and 26% think they’re passing that stress on to their pooches. The poll also suggests that around a third of dogs are prone to vomit or diarrhea as a result of neglect, or because their owners are unhappy, unwell or under pressure. More than half of the survey’s respondents felt they do not spend adequate time with their canine companions. (Seems like the old man’s best friend thing isn’t reciprocal.)
– Reuters

DID YOU KNOW?
• It is impossible to lick your elbow.
• Horses can’t vomit.
• A crocodile can’t stick its tongue out.
• A shrimp’s heart is in its head.
• A pregnant goldfish is called a ‘twit’.

FANGS FOR THE MEMORIES:
TODAY a tooth reputedly pulled from the mouth of Napoleon Bonaparte is expected to fetch up to $15,000 when it goes up for auction in Swindon UK. The ‘upper right permanent canine‘ is believed to have been extracted  in 1816 during Napoleon’s exile on the island of St Helena. The current owner obtained it in 1956. (Whoa, this tooth fairy thing is getting way out of hand!)
– “The Sun”

FELICITY GETS FEISTY:
[DISCRETION] “Desperate Housewives” star Felicity Huffman tells the DECEMBER edition of “Esquire” magazine: “A big prick is a bore if it’s attached to a big prick.” She also offers the following translations of ‘female-speak’ for the benefit of the male species …
• “You’re working too hard.” = “You’re not spending enough time with me.”
• “Please, no presents for my birthday.” = “Surprise me.”
• “What are you thinking about?” = “Do you still love me?”
• “Do you want to talk about it?” = “I want to talk about it.”
• “[Bleep] you, I can’t stand you.” = “[Bleep] you, I can’t stand you.”
– “NY Daily News”

YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP:
• A 42-year-old Leipzig, Germany woman has launched a campaign to stop people whining, threatening her company’s employees with firing if they complain. Ramona Wonneberger has instigated a ‘2 moans and you’re out’ policy to clamp down on ‘negative energy’. (Hear hear!)
• ‘Emily’ the cat went missing in Appleton, Wisconsin several weeks ago, then magically turned up in France. It seems she wandered into a paper warehouse near home and somehow got herself shipped to Europe. Her owner plans to buy her an airline ticket to get back home, but admits, “She’s getting to be an expensive little thing.”
• Forget about ‘a chicken in every pot’, a wealthy Sri Lankan presidential candidate says if he’s elected he’ll use his personal fortune to buy – a cow for every home! Not just any old cow, but a high-yielding milk cow. Even those who live in apartments will receive one if they make suitable arrangements, he claims. (Wasn’t this on an old episode of “The West Wing”?)
• Doctors in Cyprus are threatening to strike by fleeing the Mediterranean island on a boat unless their demands for better working conditions are met. The physicians union, which numbers some 500 members, says it will simply charter a luxury cruise ship – and leave! (Makes you wonder – do lawyers have a union?)
• A 6-year-old black Labrador Retriever has gained fame in Finland for being able to sniff out – rotting corpses underwater. ‘Sonar’ has just successfully pinpointed her 95th body, once again giving her energetic trademark bark when she locates a stiff. Her handler says he only wishes he had that kind of enthusiasm on cold days. (Now there’s a dog you don’t want to tell, “Fetch!”)

YOU COULD BE THE FEMALE FABIO!
The pulp fiction line of mystery novels called Hard Case Crime has teamed up with “FHM Magazine” to find a new cover model for an upcoming book in its ‘Paint My Dame!’ contest. They’re looking for a woman with ‘pulp attitude and allure’. The winner gets her likeness painted on a future book; a framed print; 25 copies of the book; and any fame and/or notoriety that may result. (For about 15 minutes.)
NET: http://www.bookgasm.com
– Gawker.com

REFLECTIONS ON WINTER:
TODAY is the last day of direct sunlight in the Italian village of Viganella until FEBRUARY 2nd. Howzat? The village is at the very bottom of a steep-sided Alpine valley, which leaves it in shadow for 3 months each winter. So what can they do? Village mayor Pierfranco Midali’s idea is to mount a giant motorized mirror on the mountainside above the village to track the Sun and reflect sunlight down into the main piazza. If it works, the village could look forward to 5 hours of sunlight daily, even in mid-DECEMBER. However, there is one hold-up – who’s going to pay the estimated $120,000 to install the big mirror? (Maybe Donald Trump could lend them one – he likely has several about the right size.)
– BBC World

THE BULL SHEET 11.10.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [61] Sir Tim Rice, Amersham UK, lyricist who’s worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber (“Jesus Christ Superstar”, “Evita”) and Elton John (“The Lion King”, “Aida”)

1968 [37] Chris Cagle, DeRidder LA, country singer (“Miss Me Baby”, “Chicks Dig It”)

1975 [30] Jim Adkins, VA, rock singer/guitarist (Jimmy Eat World-“Pain”, “The Middle”)

1977 [28] Brittany (Sharon) Murphy, Atlanta GA, movie actress (“Sin City”, “Little Black Book”)

1978 [27] Eve (Jihan Jeffers), Philadelphia PA, rapper (w/Gwen Stefani-“Rich Girl”)/TV actress (“Eve”)/movie actress (“xXx”, “Barbershop”)/clothing designer (Fetish By Eve)

1983 [22] Miranda Lambert, Lindale TX, country singer (“Kerosene”)/2003 “Nashville Star” contestant

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “National Young Readers Day” to encourage kids to hit the books and enjoy the magic of reading.
BS CHILDREN’S BOOKS YOU’LL NEVER SEE:
• “Pop Goes The Hamster… And Other Great Microwave Games”
• “You Were An Accident”
• “The Little Sissy Who Snitched”
• “Some Kittens Can Fly”
• “What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?”
• “Bi-Curious George”
• “Daddy Drinks Because You Cry”
• “Daddy’s New Wife Timothy”
• “Babar Meets the Taxidermist”
• “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1932 [73] 1st “Hockey Night in Canada” broadcast airs on CBC Radio, with Foster Hewitt doing the play-by-play (Toronto and Boston tie 1-1)

1775 [230] US Marine Corps established (Semper Fi. HOO-rah!)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1991 [14] Fastest ‘Backwards Marathon’ (4 hrs, 15 secs)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Remembrance Day
[Fri] Veterans Day
[Sat] 2005 Vibe Awards (LA)
[Mon] Operating Room Nurse Day
[Tues] 39th CMA Awards (NYC)
This Week Is . . . Eating Disorders Week
This Month Is . . . Inspirational Role Models Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
THE WEEK’S WEIRDEST TABLOID HEADLINES:

• “Prisoner Chokes to Death … on Last Meal!”
• “Astronomer Spots Elvis-Shaped Constellation!”
• “US Army to Draft School Crossing Guards to Make its Quota!”
• “Belching Sword-Swallower Accidentally Impales Audience Member!”
• “Soda Jerk Lives Up to Name!”
• “Toads Explode in Pond of Death!”

BS QUICK-PICK QUIZ:
• To what plant family do the herbs rosemary, oregano, thyme & marjoram belong?
a. The family of grasses & grains.
b. The mint family. [CORRECT]
c. The royal family.

• A group of lions is a pride; a group of elephants, a herd; so what is a group of leopards called?
a. A bunch.
b. A spot.
c. A leap. [CORRECT]

• It was originally decided a bride would stand to the groom’s left at a wedding so that …
a. His sword hand would be free. [CORRECT]
b. He would appear to the audience as her ‘right-hand man’.
c. She could get in a quick backhand if he acted up.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to scientists, THIS is the single strongest signal of attraction between humans and a ‘precursor of reproduction’.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A smile.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say but keep on saying it.


Printer Friendly Version