Tuesday, November 16, 2004        Edition: #2910
Eat, Breath Sheet!

TONIGHT at the 2nd annual “Vibe Awards” Usher (as usual) leads nominations with 5 nods including ‘Artist of the Year’, followed by Alicia Keys with 4 . . . TONIGHT the 6th season of CBS-TV’s “The Amazing Race” debuts as 11 more teams of two globe-trot to try to win the $1-million prize (this time contestants include a married pro wrestling couple and a pair of grandparents) . . . Hollywood power couple Goldie Hawn & Kurt Russell have reportedly split after a 21-year romance, insiders saying the 59-year-old actress has moved on to her dream of traveling the world, spending more and more time in India . . . Backstreet Boy Nick Carter has had the ‘Paris’ tattoo on his wrist honoring ex-girlfriend Paris Hilton covered up with another tat – a skull & crossbones . . . Actor Ewan Mcgregor is now British bookies’ favorite to be the next ‘James Bond’ at 9-4 odds, with Dougray Scott at 9-2 and Pierce Brosnan’s favorite to be his successor, Colin Farrell, now lagging behind at 7-1 . . . Former ABC-TV Entertainment President Susan Lyne will take over the reins of Martha Stewart Omnimedia – ironically she’s the one that spearheaded the hit series “Desperate Housewives” . . . Imagine Entertainment’s Ron Howard & Brian Grazer have cinched a deal to turn the bestseller “The 9/11 Commission Report” into an 8-hour NBC-TV miniseries.

• Pearl Jam – TODAY they’re releasing their 1st-ever greatest hits compilation, the 2-disc set “rearviewmirror (Greatest Hits 1991-2003)”.
• Collective Soul – TODAY they’re releasing “Youth”, their first studio album in 4 years.
• Bon Jovi – TODAY they release “100 Million Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong”, a 5-disc box set that includes previously unreleased tracks.
• Clay Aiken – TODAY he’s releasing his new CD of seasonal songs AND his first book, “Learning to Sing: Hearing the Music in Your Life”, which traces his journey from special ed teacher to pop star.
• Toby Keith – TONIGHT he does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on ABC-TV.
• The Beatles – TODAY the US versions of the Beatles first 4 albums come out on CD for the first time. “The Capitol Albums Volume 1″ box set contains “Meet the Beatles”, “The Beatles Second Album”, “Something New” and “Beatles ’65”.

A new pill called ‘rimonabant’ or ‘Acomplia’ that’s about to hit the market seems to help people lose weight AND quit smoking. Researchers have found that the so-called ‘super pill’ not only helps people lose weight but to keep it off for as long as 2 years. French pharmaceutical company Sanofi-Aventis plans to seek approval to market the drug by NEXT YEAR. It’s likely to become a huge seller if, in fact, it can fight both obesity and smoking, two of our biggest killers. And now scientists say it has a positive side-effect, too – it seems to help people stop abusing drugs & alcohol. (Also slices and dices vegetables and removes stubborn mustard stains!)

A Congregational Church minister in Port Elizabeth, South Africa has upset some of his flock by baptizing – a racehorse. Rev Deric Derbyshire performed the ceremony on ‘Running Reverend‘, a horse that is to be raffled off to raise funds for the church. While many call it sacrilege, Derbyshire has approached several international celebs, such as Queen Elizabeth II, Richard Branson and Oprah Winfrey, to support his campaign and actually received support (of the moral variety) from Buckingham Palace. (The queen’s totally in favor of equine baptism, just in case Prince Charles & Camilla ever have children.)
– “The Cape Argus”

If you think you have any real privacy on the job, forget about it. In fact, 25% of surveyed companies have fired employees for violating corporate e-mail policies THIS YEAR. Computer expert Daniel Tynan has compiled a list of common myths about electronic privacy at work …
• Myth #1: “Companies don’t spy on employees.”
According to the American Management Association, 65% of companies actively monitor where their employees go on the ‘Net, 52% scan e-mail, and 20% keep an eye on Instant Messaging.
• Myth #2: “I would know if the company were spying on me.”
Since electronic monitoring is done at the network level, employers are not under legal obligation to tell you it’s being done.
• Myth #3: “As long as I don’t visit the ‘wrong kind’ of Websites, I’ll be fine.”
Company policies vary on what is considered ‘reasonable personal use’ of the Internet. If in doubt, you better find out!
• Myth #4: “My e-mail conversations are none of my company’s business.”
Legally they are if you’re using a company computer, the company e-mail system and the company Internet connection. Almost half of big companies have actually hired people to read corporate e-mail.
• Myth #5: “I can do anything I want, as long as I delete the evidence.”
The ‘evidence’ is still in your Recycle Bin and even if you delete it from there, the files can easily be recovered unless they’ve been overwritten. Also, the contents of your hard drive are likely being archived on backup media … where they can remain for years!
– “PC World”

An Australian diving club has claimed a world record in the sport of – ‘Underwater Extreme Ironing’. During a 25-minute dive in 10 feet of water, 43 members of Melbourne’s Bay City Scuba Diving Club used cold, non-electric irons to set the record and raise money for charity.
The ‘sport’ was invented by a German ‘Extreme Ironist’ when he took his iron and ironing board into the Mediterranean Sea off Majorca in 2001.
– Ananova

Scientifically, ‘Batman’ is the most believable of all comic book superheroes. Every piece of equipment in his utility belt is available for sale today, some 50 years after his creation.
– “National Geographic News”

“I try not to attack people who haven’t attacked me first.”
– Eminem explaining to “Rolling Stone” how he justifies using Paris Hilton in his “Just Lose It” video.


1958 [46] Marg Helgenberger, Freemont NE, TV actress (‘Catherine Willows’ on “CSI” since 2000)

1963 [41] Keith Burns, Atlanta GA, country singer/guitarist (Trick Pony-“Pour Me”, “On a Night Like This”)

1964 [40] Diana Krall, Nanaimo BC, jazz singer/pianist (Grammy Awards-“Live In Paris”, “When I Look In Your Eyes”)/Mrs Elvis Costello since 2003

1979 [25] Trevor Penick, CA, washed-up pop singer (O-Town-“Liquid Dreams”, “All or Nothing”)

[UN] “International Day for Tolerance”

TODAY is “International Button Day”, for people who collect buttons with slogans on them. Some of our favorites …
• “Are those your eyeballs? I found them in my cleavage.”
• “I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.”
• “Don’t worry. I forgot your name, too!”
• “Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.”

THIS WEEK’S annual “Leonid Meteor Shower” is a great chance to see ‘shooting stars’ … if you stay up all night. No special equipment is required, just your naked eyeballs. According to the “2004 Observer’s Handbook of the Royal Astronomical Society of Canada”, this year’s activity is best viewed TODAY through Friday, with the peak time TOMORROW morning at 9am GMT (4am EST/1am PST). This is the moment when the Earth will be passing closest to the orbit of the long-departed Leonid comet, and when it’s most likely to encounter residual comet material.
NET: http://www.space.com/spacewatch/041112_leonid_meteors.html

1981 [23] Most-watched daytime TV soap opera episode as ‘Luke’ marries ‘Laura’ on “General Hospital”

1970 [34] 1st Canadian recording artist to receive an RIAA ‘Gold Record’ designation in the USA (Anne Murray for “Snowbird”)

1999 [05] Aging rocker Eddie Van Halen undergoes hip-replacement surgery

1963 [41] 1st ‘touch-tone telephone’ is introduced (one of the defining events separating ‘Boomers’ from ‘Gen Xers’

[Wed] Take A Hike Day
[Wed] Homemade Bread Day
[Wed] Farm Joke Day
[Thurs] Great American Smokeout
[Thurs] Bill Clinton Presidential Library & Museum opens (Little Rock AR)
[Fri ] World Toilet Day
[Sun] World Hello Day
This Week Is . . . Shallow Persons Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . International Creative Child & Adult Month


Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the ‘Zodiac Reading of the Day’ …
• Aries – Today is a bad day to pick a fight with your little sister. She’ll kick your ass.
• Taurus – Follow your dream … but not too closely because if it stops really quick you might run into it.
• Gemini – You’ll lose 10 lbs this week on a new fad diet. Unfortunately, it’s called the ‘Saliva Diet’.
• Cancer – Good news! Horoscopes in even-numbered years have proven to be 23% more accurate than throwing darts down the toilet.
• Leo – You may be the only one in the office who knows how to fix the fax machine, but that doesn’t mean you can eat all the doughnuts.
• Virgo – Don’t get excited when the boss tells you you’re getting 3 brand new computers in your office. It means they’re gonna cram 3 more people into your cubicle with you.
• Libra – Don’t fear the reaper. Fear that thing he uses to chop off your head.
• Scorpio – Today you will be blessed with happiness, money, and a whole day in the bathroom thanks to excess jalapeno consumption.
• Sagittarius – Not a good day … all the natural light in your workplace will be gone when the half-blind painter accidentally makes all the windows yellow.
• Capricorn – For once, don’t sign up for the ‘Secret Santa’ exchange at work this year. You know all  you’re gonna get is an old pair of mittens and a can of Spam.
• Aquarius – It’s never a good idea to wake up a rabid weasel. Especially if it’s sleeping on top of your keyboard.
• Pisces –  Maybe quitting your job to follow your dream wasn’t such a good idea. After all, when was the last time a 5′-7″ guy who didn’t even make his high school team was drafted by the Toronto Raptors?

• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• You’re actually proud of your leaf-blower.
• When someone famous dies, you check their age to get an idea how long you have left.
• You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
• You remember when your cable TV box had push buttons and was connected to the TV by a cord.
• There’s nothing left to learn ‘the hard way’.
• Your joints are more accurate than Environment Canada.
• You can actually go bowling without drinking.
• That gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

Who’s most likely to be spotted dancing on the table … or maybe lying under it?
10. Mischa Barton
9. Cameron Diaz
8. Brittany Murphy
7. Nicole Richie
6. Tara Reid
5. Christina Aguilera
4. Ashlee Simpson
3. Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
2. Lindsay Lohan
1. Paris Hilton
– Netscape “Celebrity Top 10″

Today’s Question: A single girl might be horrified to find out, but the odds are 50/50 that her boyfriend has had a fantasy about THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Her mom.

Don’t imagine that you can change your man … unless he’s in diapers.

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