Wednesday, November 10, 2004        Edition: #2906
Here’s More Bull Roar!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT Lindsay Lohan guest stars on FOX-TV’s “That ’70s Show” as a girlfriend of ‘Fez’ (real-life boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama) whom ‘Fez’ and ‘Kelso’ (Ashton Kutcher) end up feuding over; word is there’s a kissing scene with one or the other or perhaps – both! (yeah, but which will be first to say, “Ewww, you’ve got booze breath!”?) . . . Two of the top films of the year, “Fahrenheit 9/11″ and “The Passion of the Christ”, can NOT compete in the “Golden Globe Awards” for ‘Best Picture’, because neither documentaries nor foreign language films are eligible (“Passion” is in Aramaic) . . . “24″ star Kiefer Sutherland has been sentenced to serve 50 hours of community service and pay a $500 fine after pleading ‘no contest’ to a drunk-driving charge in LA . . . He may be the 3-to-1 favorite of British bookies to get the gig, but Irish actor Colin Farrell says he is simply not interested in becoming the next ‘James Bond’ . . . Interesting that 68-year-old actor Burt Reynolds offered to pay former girlfriend Pamela Seals a cool MILLION BUCKS to drop her accusations of verbal & physical abuse, and it was only after she declined that he sued her (now known in show biz circles as ‘pulling an O’Reilly’) . . . An enterprising fan of former Spice Girl singer Geri Halliwell is attempting to auction dog poop online that was purportedly scooped up 3 weeks ago in London’s Green Park after she paraded her pooch (it’s a Shih-Tzu … of course!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Vanessa Carlton – TODAY she’s on ABC-TV’s daytime gabfest “The View”.
• Gwen Stefani – She’s reportedly petrified about walking down the red carpet at the premiere of her debut movie “The Aviator” NEXT MONTH and has turned to actor Jim Carrey for advice and reassurance.
• Justin Timberlake – He’s delayed the publication of his autobiography because he wants to ‘readjust’ chapters regarding ex-girlfriend Britney Spears. Word has it the first version would be upsetting to her.
• Maroon 5 – Drummer Ryan Dusick claims actor Leonardo DiCaprio showed up recently to watch the band and when he couldn’t find space in the VIP lounge, he pushed Dusick’s mother out of the way and flipped her the finger.
• P Diddy – Just-turned-35 Sean Combs has announced he plans to wed longtime girlfriend Kim Porter ‘soon’.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“The Polar Express” (G-Rated Family Fantasy): Based on a popular 29-page children’s book written & illustrated by Chris Van Allsburg in 1985, it’s the story of a 7-year-old boy who hops on board a mysterious train bound for the North Pole on Christmas Eve. Some facts …
• Tom Hanks bought the film rights to the book after reading it to his kids for years..
• The $165-million production is a hybrid live action-animation movie. None of the sets and landscapes are real – they were created by computer artists,
• The characters are digitalized versions of human beings, created through the process of ‘motion capture’ (most famously used to develop the ‘Gollum’ character for “The Lord Of The Rings”. This process allows Tom Hanks plays 5 different characters – ‘Hero Boy’, the ‘Boy’s Father’, the ‘Conductor’, the ‘Hobo’ and ‘Santa Claus’.

NEW ENGLISH 101:
New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Angsterbator’ – Someone who gets off on how deep and disturbed they are. May also be used as a verb. (“The band at the club was good last night except the singer kept angsterbating all over the place.”)
• ‘Wide-Awake Facelift’ – A new cosmetic surgery procedure in which the face is numbed only with local anesthetic while the surgeon does the work. (So you can keep pleading, “Please don’t make me look like Joan Rivers, doc!”)
• ‘Red-Staters’ – Conservative Americans. The ones who turned their states ‘red’ by voting for Bush.

2004 “GOLDEN JOYSTICK AWARDS”:
Awards for the top video games of the year have been handed out in London. Highlights …
• PS2 Game of the Year: “Burnout 3: Takedown” (EA Games)
• Xbox Game of the Year: “Fable” (Microsoft)
• Game Cube Game of the Year: “Mario Kart: Double Dash!!” (Nintendo)
• PC Game of the Year: “Doom 3″ (Activision)
• Handheld Game of the Year: “Sonic Advance 3″ (THQ)
• Online Game of the Year: “Battlefield Vietnam” (EA Games)
• Most Wanted Game For 2005: “The Legend of Zelda” (Nintendo)
• Ultimate Gaming Hero: ‘Sonic The Hedgehog’ (Sega)
• Ultimate Game Of The Year: “Doom 3″ (Activision)
NOTE: Award winners were selected prior to YESTERDAY’s release of “Halo 2″.
– BBC
NET: http://www.goldenjoystick.co.uk

WOMEN WHO MADE LIFE WORTH LIVING THIS YEAR:
• Russian tennis sensation Maria Sharapova (Wimbledon champ).
• Actress Kate Winslet (“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”).
• Actress Uma Thurman (“Kill Bill”)
• Country legend Loretta Lynn (“Van Lear Rose”).
• Singer-turned-actress Gwen Stefani (“What You Waiting For?”/”The Aviator”).
– “GQ” magazine DECEMBER issue.

THE STRAIGHT GOODS:
56-year-old German inventor Karl-Friedrich Lentze is seeking a patent for – a straight banana. His patent application includes sketches of his vision which would see robots chopping the curvy parts out of bananas as they travel on a conveyor belt, and then have them resealed in a biologically safe plaster. Voila! What he calls the ‘Cigar-Banana’. He assures us that no part of the banana will be wasted, as the curvy bits can be dried or used in fruit salads. Why would we possible need a straight banana? According to Lentze, “It’s easier to eat, and easier to store.” (Coming soon – the square grape.)
– Ananova

FOR THE LITERATE JUNKIE:
The government of the Netherlands is publishing a new magazine entitled “Mainline Lady”, aimed at ‘improving the health and quality of life of female drug addicts’. The glossy mag offers an extremely specialized brand of fashion, beauty, sex, and health advice. Editor Jasperine Schupp claims, “Female users are not just skinny hags. They have lots of interests, and that’s what we wanted to reflect in the magazine.” (We love the monthly ‘Addict Makeover’.)
– “Curious Times”
NET: http://www.mainline.org

NOT YOUR CUP OF TURKEY?
Seattle-based Jones Soda Co has become infamous for bizarre food-flavored soft drinks after introducing its ‘Turkey & Gravy Soda’ a year ago. THIS WEEK it’s launching an additional 4 ‘Thanksgiving Flavors’, including ‘Green Bean Casserole’, ‘Mashed Potato’, ‘Cranberry Soda’ and ‘Fruitcake’. Jones plans to produce up to 15,000 five-packs of the 12-ounce bottles, which come complete with ‘utensils’ – a straw and a toothpick. If you think they sound less than appetizing, keep in mind – they’re calorie- and carb-free, not to mention vegan and kosher! (Hey, anything is – if you can’t keep it down.)
– “NY Daily News”

DIVORCE SALE:
For sale: One ex-wife’s $250-million divorce settlement. All the buyer has to do is figure out how to collect from the Saudi royal family. After battling for more than 20 years to collect the court-ordered judgment, Diana Bilinelli says she’s decided to sell it – at a substantial discount – on the chance that someone else may have better means to track it down. In 1983, a Los Angeles judge awarded her half the assets of her ex-husband, Sheik Mohammed al-FassiAl-Fassi, including 2 Boeing airliners, 36 cars, a yacht, 26 horses, a private zoo and homes in Spain, London and Miami Beach. Al-Fassi died in Cairo in 2002 after claiming he had transferred all his holdings to relatives, including Saudi King Fahd and his brother Prince Turki. A court has ruled that Turki is liable for al-Fassi’s debt, but Bilinelli’s lawyer says she’s been unable to locate his assets. “It’s a dandy investment opportunity,” the lawyer claims.
– CNEWS

MIDDLE EARTH IS JUST EAST OF JAVA
Australian archeologists have discovered the remains of a bizarre species of Hobbit-sized humans who lived on the island of Flores, Indonesia about 18,000 years ago. So far, scientists have dug up 7 partial skeletons of a species of human which was about 1-meter-tall (3-ft), had a brain the size of a chimp, walked upright and used tools. The Hobbit-like humans shared the island with miniature elephants and Komodo dragons. Researchers say the species existed as recently as 13,000 years ago, until the pygmy elephants they hunted disappeared. (Sure. What do you figure these archeologists have been smoking?)
– “Nature” magazine.

BS AMAZING FACT:
In the last 3 decades, the average lifespan at birth has increased from about 60 years to 67 years worldwide.
– “Christian Science Monitor”

FOR THE RECORD:
85-year-old NYC restaurateur Francesco Giambelli has dished out a record $41,000 for a single  2.4-lb Italian white truffle, the largest to ever be sold at auction. Considered a delicacy since Roman times, truffles are a type of fungus that forms in tree roots. Italy’s white truffles sell for about 10 times the price of France’s more famous black variety.

THE BULL SHEET 11.10.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [60] Sir Tim Rice, Amersham UK, lyricist who’s worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber (“Jesus Christ Superstar”, “Evita”) and Elton John (“The Lion King”, “Aida”)

1968 [36] Chris Cagle, DeRidder LA, country singer (“Chicks Dig It”)

1975 [29] Jim Adkins, VA, rock singer/guitarist (Jimmy Eat World-“The Middle”)

1977 [27] Brittany (Sharon) Murphy, Atlanta GA, movie actress (“Little Black Book”, “8 Mile”)

1978 [26] Eve (Jihan Jeffers), Philadelphia PA, rapper (“Satisfaction”)/TV actress (“Eve”)/movie actress (“Barbershop 1 & 2”)/clothing designer (Fetish By Eve)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Edmonton] Canadian Finals Rodeo

TODAY is “National Young Readers Day” to encourage kids to hit the books and enjoy the magic of reading.
BS CHILDREN’S BOOKS YOU’LL NEVER SEE:
• “Bob the Germ’s Wondrous Journey Into and Back Out of Your Digestive System”
• “The Tickling Babysitter”
• “A Pictorial History of Circus Geek Suicides”
• “How to Dress Sexy for Grownups”
• “All Dogs Go to Hell”
• “You Are Different and That Is Bad”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1775 [229] US Marine Corps established (Semper Fi, dudes!)

1932 [72] 1st “Hockey Night in Canada” broadcast airs on CBC Radio, with Foster Hewitt doing the play-by-play (Toronto and Boston tie 1-1)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1991 [13] Fastest ‘backwards marathon’ (4 hrs, 15 secs)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Remembrance Day
[Thurs] Veterans Day
[Fri] “After the Sunset” and “Seed of Chucky” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Sadie Hawkins Day (when girls ask guys out on a date – or so we’ve heard)
[Sun] 32nd American Music Awards
[Sun] Operating Room Nurse Day
[Sun] Eid-Al-Fitr, celebrating end of Ramadan (Islam)
[Mon] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
This Week Is . . . Dear Santa Letter Week
This Month Is . . . Alzheimer’s Disease Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS QUICK-PICK QUIZ:

• Who invented the 1st motorcycle?
a. Harley Davidson
b. Gottlieb Daimler (DIME-ler) [CORRECT, 119 years ago TODAY.]
c. Antonio Vespa

• When “Sesame Street” 1st aired, who ran the corner store?
a. ‘Mr Hooper’ [CORRECT. The classic kids’ show debuted 35 years ago TODAY in 1969.]
b. ‘Mr Cooper’
c. ‘Mr Pooper’

• Which of the following were working titles for what became Margaret Mitchell’s masterpiece novel, “Gone With the Wind”?
a.”Tomorrow is Another Day”
b. “Bugles Sang True”
c. “Tote the Weary Load”
[All of them! The “65th Anniversary Special Edition” DVD box set of the film is out THIS WEEK.]

• What was the given name of ‘The Professor’ on the TV classic “Gilligan’s Island”?
a. Wilbur
b. Phyllis
c. Roy [CORRECT. The actor who played him, Russell Johnson, is 80 TODAY.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
Is lip syncing bad or good when you consider the alternative would be to simplify studio recordings so they could easily be reproduced onstage?

BS BLATANT JOKE:
35 is when you finally get your head together … and your body starts falling apart.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS is now the most common item left behind in hotel rooms.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cell phone charger.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.


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