Monday, November 8, 2004        Edition: #2904
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
• George Clooney will direct and star in “Goodnight & Good Luck”, a movie about CBS news anchor Edward R Murrow’s on-air confrontations with US Senator Joseph McCarthy in the 1950s.  – “Hollywood Reporter”
• 37-year-old actress Mira Sorvino has given birth to a baby girl, her first child, which is so far nameless.  – “People”
• 23-year-old actress Natalie Portman asked director Mike Nichols to cut nude scenes from the upcoming movie “Closer” in which she plays a stripper in a topless club. She requested the edits after becoming nervous about seeing the footage on the bigscreen. She says Nichols readily agreed. Quote: “He wants to see my bare ass much less than even my father would.”  – “Entertainment Weekly”
• 28-year-old “Scooby-Doo” star Freddie Prinze Jr has signed up to create and star in his own ABC-TV sitcom, portraying a Puerto Rican raised in a household of women. The show is based on his own life.  – “Star Magazine”
• Actress Lindsay Lohan’s wild lifestyle is taking a toll on her physical health. “With movie commitments through 2007, it’s all moving too fast for her to keep up,” a show biz source says. “Her nasty attitude isn’t helping and the crazier and more unpleasant her life gets, the more bitchy and overwrought she becomes.”  – “National Enquirer”
• Proving the industry maxim that no #1 film can go unsequelized, “The Grudge 2″ will become a reality. They’ve sign up the first pic’s writer, Stephen Susco, to revisit the remake.  – Defamer.com
• Liza Minnelli shocked revelers at the Wilmington NC wrap party for Outkast’s upcoming movie. She was attending with pal Ben Vereen, who stars alongside Outkast’s Andre 3000 and Big Boi in the film, but when she performed she was reportedly ‘incoherent and rambling’. – World Entertainment News Network
• Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen will unveil ‘Mary-Kate & Ashley’s Official Online Fan Club’ later THIS YEAR in a bid to keep fans informed about their lives, and steer them away from rumors they may read in the press.  – “Teen Hollywood”
• TODAY Victoria’s Secret kicks off its first cross-country tour called “Angels Across America”. Tyra Banks, Gisele Bundchen, Heidi Klum, Adriana Lima & Alessandra Ambrosio will present the 2004 Holiday Gift Collection in NYC, then travel to Chicago, Las Vegas and LA. In Vegas, the Bellagio Hotel will welcome them by introducing pink water to its renowned outdoor fountain show.  – PR Newswire

THE WEEK’S WORST TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Most Poodles Are Gay!”
• “Actor Sues After Faulty Hair Dryer Shrinks His Head!”
• “Rich People Can’t Read!”
• “Marilyn Monroe Found Alive!”
• “Jay Leno’s Chin Is Fake!”
• “Ted Kennedy Gives Free Driving Lessons to Poor Teens!”

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Toby Keith – He’s broken ground on a 600-seat restaurant/music hall in Oklahoma City’s Bricktown entertainment area. The $4.7 million ‘I Love This Bar & Grill’ will open NEXT SPRING.
• Ruben Studdard – In the past 3 weeks, he’s lost 17 lbs, going from a whopping 455 lbs to a slightly more svelte 438. It’s a PR bit with TV’s “Extra” which will air his first weigh-in TONIGHT.
• Elton John – He’ll play an aging rock star in a new ABC-TV sitcom pilot but says it’s definitely not autobiographical, it’s based on his observations of other performers he’s encountered over a 30-year career.
• Franz Ferdinand – Guitarist Nick McCarthy tells BBC Radio 1 the band plans a completely different sound for their next album which will be released in 2005. He says one tune that’s yet to be named goes, “Dur dur dur, dee dee, dur dur dur!”
• Mariah Carey – Despite her whopping $50-million settlement to leave Virgin Records, she’s said to be cash-strapped. Why? Among other expenses, she has a hairdresser and make-up artist that are paid thousands of dollars daily … each.

MALE MATING RITUALS ANALYZED:
An Austrian-American research team has documented the moves of men on the prowl in bars for the journal “Evolution & Human Behavior”. Among their observations …
• They average 13 glances in a half-hour at the target female.
• They are more likely to stand or sit with their legs wide apart and hands on hips.
• They make an average of 19 ‘space maximization’ moves in a half-hour such as expansive gestures, sprawling across seating, or resting their arms on adjacent seats.
• They make ‘dominant male’ gestures towards fellow men, jokingly punching them, tapping them on the shoulder, slapping them on the back, or elbowing them in the ribs.
• They stroke their beard area, an implicit signal to draw attention to facial features.
• And the giveaway sign of a man who’s not about to ‘score’? Crossed arms and drooped shoulders.
–  “Sunday Times of London”

HOW A WOMAN KNOWS SHE’S REACHED MIDDLE AGE:
• Mid-life is when the growth of leg hair slows down, giving you plenty of time to care for your newly-acquired mustache.
• Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and see your rear end without turning around.
• Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and realize it’s the only time someone will ask you to appear topless on film.
• Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young thing in a tight belly shirt and scream at them, “Listen honey, even the Roman Empire fell … and those will, too!”
• Mid-life is when you look at your know-it-all teenager and think, “For this I have stretch marks?”
• Mid-life is when your memory starts to go. In fact, the only thing you can still retain is water.
• Mid-life means that you become more reflective. You start pondering the ‘big’ questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much ‘Healthy Choice’ ice cream can I eat before it’s no longer a healthy choice?
– WomenCentral.net

BS AMAZING FACT:
49% of women believe their car is more reliable than most men they know.

AND WE QUOTE:
“As I said earlier, my priorities have changed and I am going to be focusing on 3 main areas of my life for the immediate future. Myself, my husband, Kevin and starting a family.”
– A new ‘Letter From Britney’ on Brtiney Spears’ Website, which also says she’s taking 2 years off from show biz.

THE BULL SHEET 11.08.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [73] Morley Safer, Toronto ON, TV journalist (11 Emmy Awards for “60 Minutes” since 1970)

19?? [she won’t say] Luba Goy, born on a train travelling through Germany, CBC-TV/radio comedian (“Royal Canadian Air Farce” since God was a boy)

1949 [55] Bonnie Raitt, Burbank CA, rock/blues singer/songwriter (Grammy Award-“Nick of
Time”, “Something to Talk About”)

1950 [54] Mary Hart, Madison SD, TV host (“Entertainment Tonight” since 1982)/former high school English teacher in Sioux Falls SD and ’Miss South Dakota’ 1970

1967 [37] Courtney Thorne-Smith, San Francisco CA, TV actress (‘Cheryl’ on “According to Jim” since 2001)

1975 [29] Tara Reid, Wyckoff NJ, movie actress who has difficulty keeping dresses from falling down (“Van Wilder”, “American Pie 1 & 2″)

1985 [19] Jack Osbourne, London UK, TV ‘personality’ (“The Osbournes” 2002-04)/son of Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne/brother of Kelly & Aimee

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day”, a day to offset the coming chills of winter. What’s the most pungent thing you can cook? In other words, what stinks up the kitchen the most – cabbage rolls? fish? lamb? garlic? onions?

TODAY is “National Return It! Day”, a day to take back all the stuff you’ve borrowed from others. According to a survey, 65% of us have borrowed something from a neighbor. Top loaners for men – ‘tools’, borrowed by 37%. Most borrowed item by women – ‘sugar’, which 25% say they’ve trotted next door for.

TODAY is “Dunce Day”, commemorating the 1308 death of Duns Scotus. He wasn’t what we now refer to as a ‘dunce’, he was actually a bookworm!

TODAY is “Abet & Aid Punsters Day”, a day to make up incredibly bad puns, proclaimed by Punsters Unlimited who say the all-time best triple pun is ‘Though he’s not very humble, there’s no police like Holmes’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1979 [25] ABC-TV’s “Nightline” debuts (initially called “The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1993 [11] Celine Dion announces plans to marry her manager Réné Angelil at launch of her mega-selling album “The Color of My Love” (when she’s 25 and he’s 51)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1895 [109] 1st ‘X-ray’ by German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen, who sees the bones of his hand as he waves it between a radiation source and a fluorescent screen (he names the rays ‘X’ for unknown)

1910 [94] 1st ‘insect electrocutor’, invented by William Frost of Spokane WA (aka ‘bug zapper’)

1975 [29] 1st ‘tube top’ hits the market (and 1st ‘puppy noses’ detected)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1970 [34] New Orleans Saints Tom Dempsey (born without a right hand and only half his kicking foot) boots NFL-record 63-yard field goal vs Detroit (tied in 1998 by Denver’s Jason Elam)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] 38th CMA Awards
[Wed-Sun] Canadian Finals Rodeo (Edmonton)
[Wed] “The Polar Express” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] Remembrance Day
[Fri] “After the Sunset” and “Seed of Chucky” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Sadie Hawkins Day
[Sun] 32nd American Music Awards
[Sun] Eid-Al-Fitr, celebrating end of Ramadan (Islam)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Canadian Poppy Week
Dear Santa Letter Week
Synergy Week
Animal Shelter Appreciation Week
Pursuit of Happiness Week
Health Information Week
Card & Letter Writing Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS THINGS YOUR DOG WOULD SAY IF IT COULD TALK:

• “But it SMELLS like food!”
• “The cat did it.”
• “Explain this ‘heat’ thing again.”
• “Could you quit putting the lid down on the big water bowl?”
• “Mind if I sit there?”
• “You gonna eat ALL of that?”
• “Screw the rawhide bones, for Christmas this year I want an ‘Inflatable Lassie’.”
• “You’re going to cut off my WHAT?!?!”

BS TRIVIA:
Q: What makes blue cheese blue?
A: Mould.

Q: What celebrity has used the following names when checking into hotels – ‘Lillian Lollipop’, ‘Lord Choc Ice’, ‘Lord Elpus’, and ‘Binky Poodleclip’?
A: Elton John.

BS PHONE STARTER:
Who is the most overrated star in show biz? (Perhaps all of them?)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a survey, nothing lowers a woman’s image in the workplace more than THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Wearing a miniskirt.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you … when he’s in trouble again.

ON OUR SHEET LIST:
CJVR Melfort SK just reupped for another year of “BS”, the 12th year (thanks Bill!); we also salute this week’s samplers that include Nathan Knight @ CJEL Winkler MB; Frank Hall @ KNFM [Lonestar 92] Midland TX; Juana Viera @ KJYO [KJ 103] Oklahoma City OK; Jayda @ KMCK [Power 105.7] Fayetteville AR; and Ian Henderson @ KINZ Chanute KS. Welcome, all! Tell a colleague in another market about “BS”. We’ll add ONE FREE MONTH to your subscription for each and every new subscriber you refer.


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