November 1, 2007

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Thursday, November 1, 2007        Edition: #3646
Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

The casting director for the next ‘James Bond’ movie is reportedly looking for a lovely Latina to play the ‘Bond girl’ in the next instalment, and is currently on the hunt in Mexico City (you need look no further than Salma Hayek) . . . Former ‘James Bond’ actor Pierce Brosnan is under investigation by the LA County Sheriff’s Department for allegedly battering a man in a Malibu mall, a paparazzo who reacted by kicking Brosnan in the stomach (there’s the makings of a potentially really hot reality show here!) . . . “House” star Hugh Laurie admits he’s battling minor depression because he misses his family in England whom he never expected to be away from for so long (season 4 and counting) . . . Paul McCartney’s estranged wife Heather Mills has revealed on a UK TV talk show that she considered killing herself following the breakdown of their marriage (but then she remembered the magic word ‘billion’) . . . Actor Josh Hartnett (“30 Days of Night”) says he hates his appearance because he doesn’t look like a rock star, more like ‘a Midwestern kid who’s corn fed’ with ‘very small eyes that are difficult to emote with’ (how difficult to execute one’s craft with such burdens!) . . . Movie hunk Matthew McConaughey is selling his Texas Longhorns National Championship tribute motorcycle in an effort to raise funds for his charity foundation which helps provide enrichment programs for kids (maybe George Clooney should look into this?) . . . Actress Halle Berry’s unborn baby has been made an official alumni of NYC’s Pace University by dean James Lipton when Berry taped his TV show “Inside the Actors Studio” (the kid won’t even be eligible to attend for like 18 years) . . . Actress Jane Seymour, who’s down with food poisoning, reveals she was reluctant to even compete on “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) because she suffered a miscarriage live on TV while hosting the 1993 “Tournament of Roses Parade” – but nobody caught on at the time (now THAT’S acting!).

• Alison Krauss – She’s the latest artist added to the performance schedule for the “CMA Awards” in Nashville NOVEMBER 7th. She’s also nominated for 4 awards.
• Big & Rich – John Rich has apologized for his recent controversial comments on gay marriage, insisting his views were not properly clarified. The country singer caused a bit of tension earlier this month when he dismissed same-sex unions as ‘pretty unsavory’.
• Ciara – She’s midway through 7 separate parties celebrating her 22nd birthday, saying she’s making up for not having a 21st birthday bash. The actual big day was OCTOBER 25th.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin & actress-wife Gwyneth Paltrow are denying rumors they’re on the verge of splitting. The couple, who are notoriously private, have become the subject of speculation after not stepping out together in public for months.
• Fall Out Boy – Pete Wentz says his foot is the size of a small car after he broke the bone that connects to his shin while jumping around at the “Voodoo Music Experience” in New Orleans this past weekend. And the guy’s so thoughtful that he actually posted pics of his swollen & bruised appendage online so we can all share in his pain.
• Lenny Kravitz – He’ll make his feature film debut playing a nurse alongside Mo’Nique and Paula Patton in the bigscreen version of the best-selling novel, “Push”, by Sapphire (Ramona Lofton).

• LeAnn Rimes – She performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• “MTV Europe Music Awards” (MuchMusic) – The 14th annual are handed out in Munich, Germany. Justin Timberlake leads the field of nominees with 4. Amy Winehouse, Avril Lavigne, Beyoncé, Fall Out Boy, Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, Nelly Furtado, and Rihanna have 3 apiece.
• Ryan Adams – A new clean ‘n sober version guests on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Spice Girls – Melanie Brown appears at Toronto’s Eaton Centre during a world record attempt for the most cellphones playing the same ringtone at the same time. The current record is 254. It’s a promotion organized by Virgin Mobile Canada. Mel B also appears on “MTV Live” (MTV Canada).
• Velvet Revolver – Guitarist Slash is on “Late Night With Conan O’ Brien” (NBC).

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Angels & Demons” – The prequel to “The Da Vinci Code“ starts production in FEBRUARY, with Ron Howard returning to direct and Tom Hanks reprising his role as Harvard professor ‘Robert Langdon’. “The Da Vinci Code” grossed a whopping $758 million worldwide.
• “GI Joe” – Word has it George Clooney has walked away from a role in director Joe Carnahan’s film “White Jazz” in favor of appearing in this movie adaptation of the comic book. Buzz is that Clooney has been offered the role of a character named ‘Duke’. For the purposes of the movie, ‘GI Joe’ stands for ‘Global Integrated Joint Operating Entity’, a European-based military unit. The flick’s scheduled for a 2009 release.
• “Pinkville” – 36-year-old actor Woody Harrelson is set to reunite with director Oliver Stone for this Vietnam War drama based on the infamous ‘My Lai Massacre’ in which US soldiers killed over 500 civilians. They worked together on 1994’s “Natural Born Killers”. Harrelson will play a colonel alongside Bruce Willis in the drama, which goes into production NEXT YEAR.
• “Radio Free Albemuth” – Singer Alanis Morissette has joined the cast for the bigscreen adaptation of sci-fi author Philip K Dick’s semi-autobiographical 1976 novel. She’ll play a woman who shows up in a record label executive’s vision of a glamorous singer. The film’s now shooting in and around Los Angeles.
• “Shutter Island” – Director Martin Scorsese & actor Leonardo DiCaprio will work together for the 4th time in this story of a US Marshal’s search for a psychopathic murderess who’s on the run from an insane asylum. Production will begin in MARCH.

Kids a little wired this morning after pigging out on wads of Halloween candy last night? Chicago nutritionist Linaya Hahn, director of Hahn Holistic Health Centers, says that’s due to a yeast called ‘candida’ which feeds on sugar and produces toxins in the body which can cause a kid to suffer everything from hyperactivity to a runny nose. And the effects could last through the weekend unless you find an antidote. Hahn recommends yogurt or garlic which contain ‘acidophilus’, an ingredient that displaces the evil candida. (Quiet or stinky? Which is worse?)

• 67% of breakfasters eat cereal, 36% toast, 9% scarf down pancakes, sausages or waffles.
• Given a choice, 59% of children surveyed would prefer eggs to be blue.
• Over 25% of adults now skip breakfast, up from 14% forty-five years ago. People with more education and higher incomes are more likely to eat breakfast. (Cuz they’re not rushing to get anywhere.)
– NPD Group/Egg Marketing Board

British research shows that each day we are bombarded by about 4,000 instructions, ads, and rules. Just on the way to work we face some 150 new messages, from road signs to ads on public transit. A trip to the mall involves 1,600 instructions. Researchers have concluded that consumers now have to weed out the info they want … and ignore the rest. (On the way to work this morning I saw a “Stay Off the Grass” sign in the middle of a yard … so how’d it get there?)
– Reuters

After surveying 10,000 adults, Penn State University researchers have found that college grads only make love an average of 52 times a year, compared to 61 bedroom romps a year for non-college grads. (And about 52 times A WEEK for college students.)
– AP

Highlights of a survey on hotel guest habits from the Novotel hotel chain …
• Men are more likely to sleep through wake-up calls, use laundry services, lock themselves out of their rooms, and complain about a no-smoking policy. They also tip better than women and drink more beer from the mini-bar.
• Women are messier, more light-fingered when it comes to taking things out of a hotel room, drink more wine from the mini-bar, and are involved in 69% of hotel parking accidents. Women are starting to catch up to men in watching adult movies, maybe part of the reason they make more noise during lovemaking.

Dogs get more leg room on airplanes than we do. Strict international guidelines stipulate that dogs must be transported in containers twice their width, enabling them to stretch, turn around, and ensure circulation. By contrast, the minimum space required for humans is 26 inches from the back of the seat cushion to the seat in front … BEFORE the person ahead reclines the seat. (We hear dogs get better meals, too.)

‘Tennessee Mud’, ‘Economic Crunch’, and ‘Peanut Butter & Jelly’ are among the ice cream flavors Ben & Jerry’s has dispatched to its ‘Flavor Graveyard’. If that really has you steamed, you can fill out a ‘Resurrect Your Favorite Flavor’ form.


1942 [65] Larry Flynt, Salyersville KY, magazine publisher (“Hustler”)/video producer (“Barely Legal”)

1962 [45] Anthony Kiedis, Grand Rapids MI, rock singer (Red Hot Chili Peppers-“Snow [Hey Oh]”, “Dani California”)

1963 [44] ‘Big’ Kenny (Alphin), Culpeper VA, country singer (Big & Rich-“Lost In This Moment“, “Save a Horse [Ride a Cowboy]”)

1963 [44] Rick Allen (Cyril), Sheffield UK, one-armed rock drummer (Def Leppard-“Photograph”)

1969 [38] Tie (Tahir) Domi, Windsor ON, retired 16-year NHL veteran (Toronto Maple Leafs)/former bf of politician Belinda Stronach

1972 [35] Jenny McCarthy, Chicago IL, movie actress (“Scary Movie 3”, “Scream 3”)/1994 “Playboy” ‘Playmate of the Year’/movie actor Jim Carrey’s girlfriend

1972 [35] Toni Collette, Sydney, Australia, movie actress (“Little Miss Sunshine”, “The Hours”)

1973 [34] Aishwarya Rai, Mangalore, India, Bollywood movie star (“The Last Legion”, “Bride & Prejudice”)

• “All Hallows” or “All Saints’ Day” (begun in 835 AD), a Roman Catholic ‘Holy Day of Obligation’ (aren’t they all?). It’s a national holiday in the Philippines, when families gather to honor the dead … but it sometimes gets out of control. Filipino police have been cracking down on drunkenness, gambling and kidnapping … in graveyards.

• “Dia de los Muertos” (“Day of the Dead”) in Mexico. Actually the observance covers 2 days – TODAY, “All Saints Day”, is set aside for remembrance of deceased infants and children (‘angelitos’). TOMORROW, “All Soul’s Day”, is for those who died as adults. For a memorial observance it’s pretty festive, with colorful adornments, lively reunions at family burial plots, fireworks, and special foods. Departed souls are remembered with ‘Dead Men’s Bread’ which is decorated with sugar skulls. (“Please Mom, can I have the eye socket?”)

• “Family Literacy Day”, the 14th annual showcasing family literacy programs across the country.

• “Men Make Dinner Day”, the 1 guaranteed meal cooked by the man-of-the-house each year. Sure millions of guys make dinner for their families on a regular basis, but this day is for the last remaining neanderthal homes where they don’t.

• “National Authors Day” in America, observed since 1929. It’s the ‘write’ time to appreciate the great minds who touch lives with the color of words.

• “Vegan World Day”, an international focal point for celebrating veganism, a term invented by Donald Watson in 1944. This is the 63rd anniversary of ‘The Vegan Society’, whose members do not eat meat, fish, dairy products, eggs, or any other animal product; they are sometimes called ‘strict vegetarians’. In fact, true vegans do not use ANY products derived from animals, such as fur or leather. (Hey, nice plastic shoes, dude!)

1939 [68] The poem (and later song) “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” 1st appears in a promotional pamphlet for Chicago’s Montgomery Ward department store

1969 [38] Elvis Presley hits #1 on the “Billboard” magazine ‘Hot 100′ chart for the final time (during his life) with “Suspicious Minds”

1924 [83] 1st US-based NHL franchise is founded (Boston Bruins)

1946 [61] 1st ‘Basketball Association of America’ (later changed to NBA) game as NY Knickerbockers defeat Toronto Huskies 68-66 (seats go for 75 cents … a tad less than what the Raptors now charge)

1952 [55] 1st English TV play-by-play of NHL (Foster Hewitt announces Boston @ Toronto)

1959 [48] 1st NHL goaltender to wear a ‘Goalie Mask’ (Jacques Plante-Montréal Canadiens)

1913 [94] 1st ‘Forward Pass’ in football (Knute Rochne’s Notre Dame Fighting Irish use it to beat Army 35-13)

1914 [93] 1st ‘Modern Bra’ invented by Mary Jacob of NYC

1966 [41] NFL awards New Orleans Saints a franchise on “All Saints Day”

[Fri] Plan Your Epitaph Day
[Fri] Zero Tasking Day
[Fri] “American Gangster”; “Bee Movie”; “Martian Child” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Housewives’ Day
[Sun] New York City Marathon
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time ends (2 am)
[Sun] “The Amazing Race 12” debuts
This Week Is … World Communication Week
This Month Is … Celebrate Empty Nester Month


• Britney Spears … nothing, this isn’t a day when kids are allowed at her house.
• Jay Leno … résumés.
• Alec Baldwin … a damn good scolding for those thoughtless little pigs!
• Nicole Richie … food, never used.
• Heather Mills … more of Paul’s money.
• Orlando Bloom … the keys to his car.
• Kate Hudson … Chris Robinson’s possessions.
• Marilyn Manson …wasn’t home, took his girlfriend trick-or-treating.

• Do vegans eat animal crackers?
• Why are they called ‘stands’ when they’re made for sitting?
• Can you have just one ‘phernalia’ or does it only come in pairs?
• Is there reserved parking for non-disabled people at the ‘Special Olympics’?
• If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
• How come the kids got the most candy last night at the dentist’s house down the block?

I found a really cheap little winery off the beaten path. They make wine out of raisins so you don’t have to wait for it to age.

Today’s Question: Hey guys, if you want your woman to do more of THIS, marry her don’t just live with her.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Housework.

The world is divided into haves and have nots … those who have a sense of humor and those who do not.

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