Friday, November 28, 2003        Edition: #2676
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!     
        

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY singer Mary J Blige will wed music producer Kendu Isaacs, as she revealed on Ellen DeGeneres TV gabfest this week . . . TONIGHT minor walk-on parts in the movie “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” will be auctioned off by author JK Rowling at a charity gala in Edinburgh, Scotland (filming begins in APRIL) . . . SATURDAY some 200 musicians perform the debut of “The Lord of the Rings: The Symphony” by composer Howard Shore, who composed the score for all 3 “Rings” movies, at a gala in Wellington, New Zealand (it will later travel to Australia, Europe, and North America) . . . Beyonce Knowles, Bono, the surviving members of Queen, the Eurythmics and a host of African acts are scheduled to perform at Nelson Mandela’s “AIDS Awareness Concert” in Cape Town, South Africa SATURDAY (the event is officially called “46664″ after Mandela’s prison number, sub-titled “Give 1 Minute of Your Life To Stop AIDS”) . . . SUNDAY VH1 airs the “Big in ’03 Awards” at the taping of which P Diddy reportedly pitched a fit when he learned he was only a presenter, not a winner – so organizers invented a prize for him: the ‘Big Maverick ’03 Award’ . . . SUNDAY the WB airs “Christina Aguilera Stripped in London”, a behind-the-scenes concert special filmed before and during an early-NOVEMBER concert at London’s Wembley Stadium . . . “Six Feet Under” actress Rachel Griffiths (the girlfriend ‘Brenda Chenowith’) has given birth to her first child with husband Andrew Taylor, a baby boy named – Banjo (apparently the kid has a really skinny neck) . . . Word has it Chrysler Corp is about to dump Celine Dion from her 3-year, circa $14-million deal as spokeswoman for the new Pacifica model, “Ad Age” suggesting it’s because she’s attracting a far older audience than the company wanted . . . And hairdresser to the stars Anthony Dicky says many celebs, such as “Sex and The City” actress Sarah Jessica Parker, use Mane ‘N Tail HORSE SHAMPOO to wash their hair (well, she’s certainly got the face for it).

DOMESTIC COLOR CODES:
A new British poll reveals how our taste in car colors changes based on family status. The most popular vehicle color for single women is red, but married women prefer green, and married women with children select brown (doesn’t show the dirt?). Similarly, guys who are single most often like black cars, but more often select silver when married. (I’m going about it backwards … I’m saving the black until I’m dead.)

KEY CLUB:
Members-only clubs have become the hot night spots in NYC. The soon-to-open “Social Club”, supposedly modelled on 1950s Cuban nightclubs, will be accessible only to invitation-only members with key cards. The joint will feature a plush ‘fantasy bedroom’ with 2 four-poster velvet beds, room service, 24-hour concierge, 2 bars, and waitresses in lingerie. (1950s Cuba? Sounds more like 1890s whorehouse.)

BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED:
“New Scientist” reports that there’s been difficulty finding female volunteers to test a new implanted device designed to trigger – instant orgasms. The ‘Orgasmic Dysfunction Device’, nicknamed the ‘Orgasmatron’, is about the size of a pacemaker and applies tiny pulses of electricity through a pair of electrodes attached to the spine. It can be switched on and off with a remote control. It’s inventor, Winston-Salem NC anesthesiologist Stuart Meloy, says the installation procedure is no riskier than having an epidural. He stumbled onto the idea while trying to create a pain-reduction method and his patient started moaning … in ecstasy! (I’ll have what she’s having!)

LANDLORDS FROM HELL:
It’s so hard to get an apartment in Japan that tenants have been evicted for such minor infractions as leaving crumbs on a kitchen counter, not making their beds, or even hanging their curtains crooked. When tenants are evicted, landlords often rent their places out to the next tenant for up to twice as much!

HAGGIS HUNTING SEASON:
A poll of American visitors in Scotland finds a third believe ‘haggis’ is an animal. A quarter think you can go hunting for it. One tourist thought haggis was a wild beast of the highlands which only comes out at night. Another claimed haggis was a creature that sometimes ventured into cities and was similar to a fox. For the record, the Scots’ dish haggis is typically made using a sheep’s stomach filled with a mix of sheep’s liver, heart and lung, oatmeal, suet, stock, onions and spices. (They’re laughing at Americans … and eating this crap?)

BIG MONEY:
Here comes another politico pushing a ‘fat tax’. This time it’s Austrian politician Walter Tancsits, who wants the obese to pay more for the national healthcare system since they’re statistically more likely to use it. He’s proposing each Austrian’s contribution should correspond to their ‘Body Mass Index’, a measurement of the fat content in the body. (A pound of flesh, as it were.)

BS AMAZING FACT:
Madonna sells far more records when she’s a blonde than when she’s a brunette.

THE BULL SHEET 11.28.2K3

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [54] Paul Shaffer, Thunder Bay ON, CBS Orchestra leader (“Late Show With David Letterman” since 1993)/Letterman’s sidekick since 1982  FACTOID: A street in Thunder Bay ON was officially renamed ‘Paul Shaffer Drive’ LAST YEAR.

1950 [53] Ed Harris, Englewood NJ, movie actor (“Radio”, “A Beautiful Mind”, “Apollo 13”)

1952 [51] S Epatha Merkerson, Saginaw MI, TV actress who has made a good living quietly under the radar as detective boss ‘Lt Anita Van Buren’ on “Law & Order” since 1993

1962 [41] Jon Stewart (Leibowitz), NYC, TV host/comedian (2003 Emmy Award-“The Daily Show” since 1999)/movie actor (“Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back”, “Big Daddy”)

1967 [36] Anna Nicole Smith (Vickie Lynn Hogan), Mexia TX, subject of TV freak show (“The Anna Nicole Show”)/gold digger who was married to Texas billionaire J Howard Marshall from 1994 until he died in 1995 and after a long court battle was finally awarded $88 million from the estate in MARCH 2002/former stripper who became biggest (tallest, heaviest, biggest measurements) “Playboy” ‘Playmate of the Year’ (1993)

SATURDAY’S BIRTHDAYS . . .
1932 [71] Jacques Chirac, Paris FRA, President of France since 1995

1954 [49] Joel Coen, Minneapolis MN, movie director (Coen Bros-“Intolerable Cruelty”, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”, “Fargo”)/screenwriter (“Bad Santa”, “The Big Lebowski“)/married to actress Frances McDormand

1955 [48] Howie Mandel, Toronto ON, stand-up comedian/sometime movie & TV actor

1964 [39] Don Cheadle, Kansas City MO, movie actor (“Ocean’s Eleven”, “Rush Hour 2”, “Traffic”)  COMING UP: Makes directorial debut and stars in the crime caper “Tishomingo Blues”, based on the Elemore Leonard novel.

1971 [32] Brad May, Toronto ON, NHL winger (Vancouver Canucks)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is the 12th annual “Buy Nothing Day”, the one day of the year we’re asked to stop being consumer lemmings and make absolutely zero purchases (what would be the toughest thing for you to give up … coffee?). It was begun by Vancouver advocacy group Adbusters to raise awareness of consumerism and help reduce mindless over-consumption. The group predicts more than a million people will participate (or should that be NOT participate?). “Buy Nothing Day” is purposely scheduled the day after American Thanksgiving, traditionally the unofficial ‘opening day’ of the Christmas shopping frenzy (aka “Black Friday”).
NET: http://www.adbusters.org/campaigns/bnd/

TODAY the ‘50th Anniversary Issue’ of “Playboy” magazine (January 2004) hits newsstands. The mag was launched in 1953 by Hugh Hefner with just $600 and some nude shots of a young starlet called Marilyn Monroe. Highlights …
• An interview with actor Jack Nicholson (“Let’s just say that my libido will always exceed my
possibilities”).
• Contributors to the issue include Hunter S Thompson, Norman Mailer, the late George Plimpton, David Mamet, directors Spike Lee and Kevin Smith.
• The 50th anniversary ‘Playmate’ is 25-year-old LA club DJ Colleen Shannon, who grew up in the remote Aleutian Islands of Alaska.

TODAY is the 12th annual “Sinkie Day”, as declared by the ‘International Association of People Who Dine Over the Kitchen Sink’. Veterans (known as ‘Sinkies’) and rookies alike are encouraged to participate in this time-honored method of casual dining.
NET: http://www.sinkie.com/

TODAY is “Decorate Your Dog Day” to help your pooch get into the holiday spirit. (Tomorrow is Get Back at the Master By Sticking Mistletoe Where the Sun Don’t Shine Day.)

TODAY is “French Toast Day”. (Is that toast dipped in egg or just toast with a snooty attitude?)

TODAY is “Electronic Greetings Day”. Just what we need – another excuse to junk up other people’s e-mail, page messaging, voicemail, etc with useless chaff you’d never think of writing down on a piece of paper and buying a stamp to send. Oops, did I say that out loud?

TODAY is officially “Square Dance Day”. So swing your partner ‘round and ‘round, pick ‘er on up and throw ‘er on the ground. Yee haw!

TOMORROW is “St Andrew’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of Scotland who hurled his last haggis in 60 AD. (Be sure to dust off your sporran!)

TOMORROW is “Computer Security Day”, to remind us to protect our computers, programs and data at home and work. (Remember, always practice ‘safe surfin’!)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1925 [78] 1st radio broadcast of ‘Grand Ole Opry’ (WSM-Nashville)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1895 [108] 1st North American auto race begins in Chicago (J Frank Duryea’s winning car averages 7.5 mph, using 3.5 gallons of gasoline and 19 gallons of water!)

1979 [24] 1st NHL goaltender to score a goal (Billy Smith-NY Islanders)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1985 [18] Errol Bird of Lisbon, Northern Ireland, sets world record with 26 hours of continuous yodelling (but he’s never invited to a party again)

2000 [03] Largest audience to date for an Internet concert as some 9 million watch online while Madonna performs at London’s Brixton Academy in front of about 2,800 fans

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Dec 1] “Lord Of The Rings: Return Of The King” world premiere (Wellington NZ) / World AIDS Day / National Pie Day / Bifocals at the Monitor Day / Day Without Art
[Dec 2] National Fritters Day / Pan American Health Day / “Pirates of the Caribbean” DVD release
[Dec 3] International Day of Disabled Persons / Bath Tub Party Day / National Roof-Over-Your-Head Day
[Dec 4] Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day / National Cookie Day / Wear Brown Shoes Day
[Dec 5] “The Last Samurai” opens in movie theaters / International Volunteer Day
[Dec 6] National Day of Remembrance & Action on Violence Against Women / St Nicholas Day / Pawnbrokers Day
[Dec 8] Bad Hair Day
[Dec 9] “Canadian Idol” winner Ryan Malcolm’s debut CD released / “Gigli” DVD release
[Dec 10] 2003 Billboard Music Awards / International Human Rights Day / Dewey Decimal Day / National Children’s Memorial Day
[Dec 12] PM Jean Chretien steps down / Poinsettia Day / National Ding-A-Ling Day
[Dec 14] Tell Someone They’re Doing a Good Job Week / “Survivor: Pearl Islands” finale / National Bouillabaisse Day
[Dec 16] “Lord of the Rings” Marathon (all 3 films screen in select theaters) / National Chocolate Covered Anything Day / “Seabiscuit” DVD release
[Dec 17] “The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King” opens in movie theaters
[Dec 19] Chanukah begins (First Night) / “Mona Lisa Smile” opens in movie theaters
[Dec 20] Underdog Day
[Dec 21] Humbug Day / Look at the Bright Side Day / National Flashlight Day
[Dec 22] First Day of Winter / Los Posadas (Mexico)
[Dec 24] Christmas Eve / National Egg Nog Day
[Dec 25] Christmas Day / A’ Phabet Day (No ‘L’) / “Peter Pan”, “Cold Mountain” and “Cheaper By The Dozen” open in movie theaters
[Dec 26] Kwanzaa begins / National Whiner’s Day / Recyclable Packaging Day / Awful Tie Day
[Dec 27] National Fruitcake Day
[Dec 28] Card Playing Day
[Dec 31] New Year’s Eve / Make Up Your Mind Day

BULL’S BITS . . .
WORST MOVIE TURKEYS OF ALL-TIME:

1. “Battlefield Earth” (2000)
2. “Gigli” (2003)
3. “Halloween 3″ (1982)
4. “From Justin To Kelly” (2003)
5. “Glitter” (2001)
6. “Master of Disguise” (2002)
7. “House of the Dead” (2003)
8. “Feardotcom” (2002)
9. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation” (1997)
10 “Rollerball” (2002 remake)
(Apparently most of the worst movies of all-time have been made in the last couple of years.)
Source: New Yahoo “My Movies” poll.

“SURVIVOR” GAME PROMO:
Throwing a “Survivor” finale party December 14? “Survivor: The Board Game” has just been launched in NYC and Toronto in time for the holiday shopping season. Rumba Games is offering interviews and/or games to interested stations. Your morning crew can have fun attempting some of these challenges in the studio or during promotional appearances.
PHONER: 905.795.3533/416.995.9817 (Faith Featherstone, Communications)
SAMPLE CHALLENGES FROM “SURVIVOR: THE GAME”:

• Can you burp on purpose? Elect one member of your team to try. Immunity goes to the tribe with the loudest and longest.
• Using an empty bottle, have one team member blow the chorus of a song of their choice. If the rest of the tribe can identify the song, they stay in the game. Alternate back and forth until one team is stumped.
• Fill 2 bowls with breakfast cereal. Elect someone from your team to polish off the bowl without using hands or utensils. The first finished wins immunity for the tribe.
• Elect a tribe member to stand 5 feet away from the others, facing the group. Alternating between tribe members, throw a piece of processed cheese at your chosen team member’s forehead. The first tribe to make it stick wins immunity.
• Sing an ENTIRE theme song from a TV show. The first tribe to do this gets immunity.
• Each tribe concocts a disgusting meal for the other tribe out of anything found in the fridge or cupboards. One at a time tribe members take a bite out of the other tribe’s meal, with the first to refuse to eat it losing.

BS PHONE STARTER:
“What’s the biggest screw-up you’ve ever made at work?”

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Glen Campbell’s DUI car accident has put him in the news for the first time in years. He’s gonna capitalize on it by re-releasing one of his hits … “Like a Wine Stoned Ploughboy”.
• My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
• Word is those closest to Michael Jackson are urging him to use an insanity defense, but he says that he’s totally against it … and so is his herd of llamas.
• Michael Jackson is planning a quiet weekend … just hanging out with some kids.
• I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, “I’d like some fries.” The girl at the counter said, “Would you like fries with that?”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 56% of women say it’s okay to do THIS while grocery shopping.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Use a cell phone. (But doesn’t it drive you nuts to see someone in an argument on the phone over cereal brands?)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is nothing more uncommon than common sense.


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