Tuesday, November 26, 2002        Edition: #2429
Sweet Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
In exit polls, 85% of moviegoers rate “Die Another Day” either ‘very good’ or ‘excellent’ and 70% say they would ‘definitely recommend it’ (so that’s how Bond whipped the wiz) . . . Kevin Smith, director of Jennifer Lopez’ & Ben Affleck’s upcoming movie “Jersey Girl”, has reportedly had a video game created for the newly-engaged couple called “Jen Saves Ben” in which J-Lo beats up ninjas to rescue a wimpy Affleck . . . Meantime, Ben will reportedly be in ads for J-Lo’s new aftershave called ‘Man’ – appearing in the buff (uh, who’s the target market here?) . . . Word has it Russell Crowe is trying to lose his rep’ as a drunken hellraiser and has been sticking to drinking water lately . . . And hip-hop reggae rapper Shaggy is working on a new children’s book called “Hope” that’s scheduled for publication in FEBRUARY (“Mommy caught me stealin’ cookies, It wasn’t me. Found my crumbs on the sofa, It wasn’t me. Then I forgot to have a shower, It wasn’t me …”).

TODAY’S DVD & VHS RELEASES:
The animated family comedy-adventure “Ice Age”, in which a sabertooth tiger, a sloth and a wooly mammoth find a lost human infant and try to return him to his tribe (Ray Romano voices ‘Manfred’) . . . Will Smith & Tommy Lee Jones reprise their roles as ‘Agents J & K’ in the sci-fi comedy sequel “Men in Black II” (DVD includes oodles of out-takes, alternate endings, alternate camera shots, hours of fluff, etc) . . . And just as the George Clooney version of the sci-fi thriller “Solaris” is set to open in theaters TOMORROW, the original 1972 Russian version, “Solyaris”, is out in a Collector’s Edition DVD.

WHY MEN HATE MALLS:
It’s a long known truth that men generally don’t like shopping, but now comes evidence that
shopping can actually be bad for men’s health! A new study by British psychologist David Lewis finds that shopping can cause men’s heart rates to rise and stress levels to soar. Even the thought of shopping sent stress levels soaring in 70% of the men involved in the study. (This could be good news for guys – there’s never been a better excuse to avoid holiday shopping!)

SEX SURVEY:
Highlights of the new international ‘Global Sex Survey’ released TODAY by condom-maker Durex –
• Of the countries surveyed, the French have sex most frequently (167 times a year), followed by the Netherlands (158), Denmark (152), Canada (150), the UK (149), USA (138), New Zealand (135), and Spain (121).
• At the bottom of the list of 22 nations was Singapore (110 times a year).
• About three-quarters of us fantasize about having sex with a celebrity.
• 49% of men admit they’ve fantasized about sex with their best friend’s partner.

HARD WORK:
Some hard-to-believe highlights from a new poll about sex in the workplace to be published in the upcoming edition of “Playboy” magazine –
• 48% percent of female respondents say they’ve had sex on-the-job compared to 38% of males.
• 46% of women claim to have slept with a boss compared to 18% of men.
• 45% of women say they’ve had sex on their desk compared to 33% of men.
• 20% of women admit they’d consider bedding an intern compared to 12% of men.
(Figures may be skewed due to the fact the poll was apparently conducted in a brothel.)

FEVER FILTER:
Researchers at the Woolcock Institute of Medical Research in Sydney, Australia have developed a nose plug for hay fever sufferers (actually, it’s more of an ‘unplug’). As the user breathes, air is forced past a sticky surface in the filter that catches 97% of the 2 main types of pollen that cause hay fever. The filters have performed so well in tests, the journal “New Scientist” says they could be on the market in about 2 years. (Sure, you can breathe better – but you look like a syncro swimmer!)

BIRD BRAINS:
New research says that sleeping birds are not only dreaming but probably dreaming about the songs they’ll sing during the next day. Scientists say that dreaming helps animals – including humans – to rehearse things they have learned to do in the day and helps them perform better the next day. They noticed that when birds sleep, their brains show a burst of activity in the part of the brain known to be involved in singing. It seems that the more birds dream at night, the better they’ll sing the following day. (Unless you’re a turkey, of course, who just has nightmares about Christmas.)

JAVA GYP:
Why’s your morning coffee not tasting so great these days? Due to falling prices, coffee makers are increasingly substituting low-quality beans in ground coffee for high-quality, according to the International Coffee Organization. And “Wall Street Journal” may have another clue as to why our java’s been lacking taste – over the past 2 years the limit on debris like twigs and bad beans allowed in ground coffee has risen dramatically.

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Seems a laptop shouldn’t really be a laptop. According to a doctor in Sweden, a 50-year-old patient working on a laptop computer on his lap for over an hour burned his, er … privates. Seems the heat penetrated his pants and caused redness, irritation and blistering. (Owwww! What kind of sites was he surfing?)
• A California mall is now featuring a special holiday season Santa – for dogs. Owners bring their doggy ‘children’ to see Santa and sit on his lap. Santa speaks the language of dog so he can find out what pooches want in their Christmas stockings. Owners can have photos taken of their dogs with Santa for a small fee which is then donated to animal charities.
• A Washington DC woman thought to be dead showed evidence of a pulse after her body had been placed in a body bag, taken to the city morgue and stored in a refrigerated box by staff from the Medical Examiner’s office. (The blunder was found after an examination by CSI ‘Griss’, who admonished, “Didn’t you see this parasitic African beetle crawling from her ear? They can only survive on LIVING beings!”)
• Not to be outdone, a coffin was left lying in the road after a car accident in Chile because police and passers-by thought it was a – surreal art performance. Later it was determined to be a very real body on the way to a cemetery.
• Two young mothers caught shoplifting in Raalte, Holland tried to blame their own children. The women, caught trying to steal clothing, said their kids must have hidden the items in the shopping buggy without them noticing. The judge didn’t buy it, though – one child was just 14-months-old, the other hardly a year! (Winona Ryder is now trying to get pregnant.)
• It’s difficult to imagine a more ineffective protest than this one by homecare nurses in Orebro, Sweden. They’re demanding they get more money to pay for uniforms – or they’ll show up for work naked!
• Here we go again – scientists from two universities in Perth, Australia have tested a statue of the Virgin Mary at Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Rockingham but were unable to find the source of rose-scented oil that’s been trickling from her eyes since AUGUST 15. Now investigators have been called in and asked to prove whether the weeping is an act of God or an illusion designed to attract tourists. The ‘miracle’ (often seen elsewhere) is unprecedented in Australia. (And no doubt learned at the recent ‘Convention on Weeping Icons & Other Religious Fund Raisers’ in Italy.)

THE BULL SHEET 11.26.2K2

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1938 [64] Rich Little, Ottawa ON, impressionist who had perfected over 200 characterizations at the peak of his career (former DJ at CJET Smith’s Falls ON)

1939 [63] Tina Turner (Anna Mae Bullock), Nutbush TN, retired classic rock singer (“What’s Love Got to Do With It”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1991)

1945 [57] John McVie, London ENG, classic rock musician (Fleetwood Mac-“Rumours”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1998)

1966 [36] Garcelle Beauvais, St Marc HAITI, TV actress (Assistant District Attorney Valerie Heywood-“NYPD Blue”)

1972 [30] Chris Osgood, Peace River AB, NHL goalie (NY Islanders)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is the 60th anniversary of the NYC world premiere of the classic movie “Casablanca” starring Humphrey Bogart & Ingrid Bergman, considered by many one of the greatest films of all-time. Here’s lookin’ at a little “Casablanca” trivia, schweetheart –
• Studio publicity in 1941 said Ronald Reagan & Ann Sheridan would be the stars of the film.
• Bogey never says “Play it again, Sam.” He says “You played it for her, you can play it for me. Play it!”. Bergman says “Play it, Sam. Play ‘As Time Goes By”‘. The line “Play it again, Sam” appears in the Marx Bros’ comedy “A Night in Casablanca” made 4 years later (1946).
• Producer Hal Wallis nearly made the character ‘Sam’ a female. Hazel Scott, Lena Horne & Ella Fitzgerald were considered for the role. (Then we would have had the famous line, “Play it, Samantha”?)
• No one knew right up until the filming of the last scene whether ‘Ilsa’ would end up with ‘Rick’ or ‘Laszlo’. The budget was so small they couldn’t use a real plane in the background of that scene. Instead, a small cardboard cutout was used and to give the illusion the plane was full-size, they used midgets to portray the crew preparing for takeoff.
• Producer Wallis thought of the film’s last line 3 weeks after shooting ended and Bogart was called back to dub it in. It’s another of the movie’s most misquoted lines. The correct line is “Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1789 [213] 1st official US holiday – a day of thanksgiving to observe the adoption of the Constitution

1825 [177] 1st ‘college fraternity’ (Kappa Alpha) forms at Union College in Schenectady NY (next day, 1st house full of grown men begins chanting “Boola, Boola!”)

1896 [106] 1st ‘football huddle’ (University of Chicago players gather to discuss the blond babe in the 4th row)

1956 [46] 1st edition of (still-running) TV game show “The Price is Right” (back when Bob Barker was in his 40s)

1991 [11] 1st female player in major junior hockey (Manon Rheaume-Trois-Riviéres Draveurs goalie)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Thanksgiving Day (USA)
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Fri] Electronic Greetings Day
[Fri] Chanukah (begins at sundown)
[Fri] International Computer Security Day
This Week Is . . . Travelers With Disabilities Awareness Week / Family Caregivers Week
This Month Is . . . Lung Cancer Awareness Month / Alzheimer’s Disease Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
CANADA’S MOST-READ NEWSPAPERS:

Newspaper/Average Weekly Circulation –
1. “Toronto Star”/3.4 million
2. “Globe & Mail”/2.2 million
3. ”National Post”/2 million
4. “Journal de Montréal”/1.9 million
5. “Toronto Sun”/1.7 million
6. ”La Presse” (Montréal)/1.5 million
7. “Vancouver Sun”/1.2 million
8. “Ottawa Citizen”/1.02 million
9. “Edmonton Journal”/1.007 million
10. “Province” (Vancouver)/1.006 million
Source: Canadian Newspaper Association

AMERICA’S MOST-READ NEWSPAPERS:
Newspaper/Average Daily Circulation –
1. “USA Today”/2.1 million
2. “Wall Street Journal”/1.8 million
3. “New York Times”/1.1 million
4. “Los Angeles Times”/0.94 million
5. “Washington Post”/0.76 million
Source: Audit Bureau of Circulations

BS Q & A:
Q: What fruits are crossed to produce the ‘nectarine’?
A: Trick question! The answer is – none. Contrary to popular belief, the nectarine is just a smooth-skinned variety of peach, NOT a cross between a peach and a plum.
Source: “Triviaville”

HOTTEST SAUCES IN THE WORLD:
Seen the snappy displays of hot sauces popping up in supermarkets nationwide? The spiciness of chilies and hot sauces is rated in Scoville Heat Units. As an example, Tabasco sauce is rated at 2,140 Scoville Units and a jalapeno chile measures 10,000 SHUs. Here’s a look at some of the hottest brands/their heat ratings – 
1. “The Source“/7.1 million SHUs
2. “Blair’s Reserve”/2 to 5.5 million SHUs
3. “Da Bomb Final Answer”/1.5 million SHUs
4. “Smack My Ass and Call Me Sally”/1.5 million SHUs
5. “Pyro Diablo”/1.5 million SHUs
Others in the top 10 of temps include “Mad Dog’s Revenge”, “Satan’s Blood”, and “Unbearable”. If you think jalapenos are hot, don’t go near any of these!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: One-third of women asked say they’ve tried this instead of hair conditioner.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Beer.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.


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