Thursday, November 14, 2002        Edition: #2421
You’ve Got Yourself in Deep Sheet!

P Diddy showed up for the press conference for TONIGHT’S “MTV Europe Music Awards” in Barcelona – with the price tag still stuck to the bottom of his shoe! (reportedly 335 euros – 530 Canadian bucks) . . . Can you have too much money? While ‘mommy’ is in New York, Jennifer Lopez’s pet cocker spaniel and corgi stay in the Presidential Suite at the Ritzy Canine Carriage House equipped with TV, video, cashmere bedding, and pet beauty salon, plus indoor & outdoor play areas – for a staggering CDN $400 a night! (on their last visit, J-Lo splashed out $375 extra on Swarovski crystal collars for them) . . . Anna Nicole Smith says she is considering stripping for viewers on her reality TV show because she’s ‘disappointed that there has been no nudeness’ (in order to fully appreciate it, you’ll need a widescreen TV) . . . Elton John will do a guest shot on the sitcom “Will & Grace”, playing ‘a parody of himself’ (some say Eric McCormack’s gay character ‘Will’ is based on Elton’s partner David Furnish as they were high school buds) . . . Meantime, 55-year-old Elton has confirmed he’s having laser surgery to correct his vision and is ditching his outrageous trademark eyewear (can you picture him without glasses?) . . . Just-turned-59 songwriting legend Joni Mitchell tells “W” magazine that her upcoming double album “Travelogue” will be her last because she’s ‘disgusted with the music business’ . . . “Us Weekly” reports 27-year-old “American Pie” star Tara Reid is dating 26-year-old *N Sync singer JC Chasez . . . How do out-of-work actors make a living? 40 of them have been hired by a casting company to heckle US troops in a mock Arab town, shouting ‘Go home USA!!’ during the Army’s 14th Cavalry war games in Southern California.

Shooting began YESTERDAY on the “X-Men” sequel, “X2″, in Alberta’s Kananaskis country, where tons of artificial snow had to be manufactured even though there’s already been real stuff on the ground for weeks (this is the same site where world leaders held the last G-8 meeting – a REAL snow-job) . . . Halle Berry says the ‘James Bond’ producers are talking about spinning-off her “Die Another Day” character, highly-trained US agent ‘Jinx’, into her own film franchise (we think she’s dreaming, but if true – it would be the first spin-off in the ‘Bond’ franchise’s 40-year history) . . . A script is now being developed for a 4th installment of “Jurassic Park” (what now – dinosaurs from space?) . . . Renée Zellweger says she was dumbfounded by co-star Catherine Zeta-Jones’ abilities in the upcoming musical “Chicago”, both as a singer and – her ability to do ANYTHING in a pair of high heels . . . Now that Richard Harris has passed on, who’ll play ‘Albus Dumbledore’ in “Harry Potter” films? Word has it Sir Ian McKellen (‘Gandalf’ in “Lord of the Rings”) has been approached and Christopher Lee (‘Saruman’ in “Lord of the Rings”) is also in the running.

The new book “How To Speak Fluent Lovey-Dovey In 11 Languages In 24 Hours” by Karen Salmansohn reveals cutesy names that lovers in other countries call one another, and translates them to English. Here’s a small sampling –
• France – ‘my flea’ or ‘my little cabbage’
• Russia – ‘my poppyseed’
• Germany – ‘sugar snail’ or ‘magic mouse’
• Czech Republic – ‘nice tame pet’
• El Salvador – ‘fatty’
Ask listeners for endearments they’ve heard in other languages.

• According to a Harvard University survey, only 17% of business calls get through to the right person on the first try. (These days only 1 in 10 calls gets through to a person . . . period!)
• A Simmons Marketing Research survey shows that kids 14 and under select at least one item in 73% of supermarket shopping trips. (The reason you end up with cereal containing chocolate and marshmallows bits coated with extra sugar frosting.)

A new report from the Insurance Research Council says that today’s drivers are in fewer accidents than 20 years ago, but are far more likely to tell their insurance company they were injured. The number of accidents per insured car on the road dropped 16% over the past 2 decades. At the same time, the number of insurance claims for injury rose by 26%. (I can’t believe people would resort to … Ow! Excuse me a second, I have to adjust my neck brace.)

TODAY Chicago’s Field Museum will set a new record for the ‘world’s largest box of chocolates’ as part of a current exhibit about chocolate. The record-breaking box will contain 2002 lbs of chocolate-covered Frango mints in a box 17 ins wide by 13 ft long. The previous record of 1,890 lbs was set at a shopping mall in the Middle East. After today’s event, the chocolates will be divided up and donated to various charities. (Oh pick me! Pick me!)

• A new $169-million theater in Singapore sprung a leak during a preview of the musical “Singing In The Rain”. Real rain dripped in the new Esplanade Theater while the show was being performed, barely a month after the facility opened. (Good thing it wasn’t “The Wizard of Oz”.)
• Police in Hong Kong stopped a man because he seemed to be ‘oddly shaped’. He was found to be wearing 18 bras and 45 pairs of ladies’ panties. (Not illegal, but vewy vewy stwange!)

Between the ages of 30 and 70, your nose may lengthen and widen by as much as half an inch. (You’re not getting older, you’re getting nosier!)


1948 [54] Prince Charles (Philip Arthur George of Wales), London ENG, heir to British throne who was invested Prince of Wales in 1969, wed Lady Diana Spencer in 1981 and divorced her in 1996/father of princes William and Harry

1962 [40] Laura San Giacomo, West Orange NJ, TV actress (Maya Gallo-“Just Shoot Me” since 1997)/movie actress (“Pretty Woman”, “Sex Lies & Videotape”)

1964 [38] Reverend Run (Joseph Simmons), Queens NY, rapper (one of the remaining above-ground members of Run-DMC, the first-ever hardcore rap group who just announced they are disbanding in the wake of the murder of Jam Master Jay)

1966 [36] Curt Schilling, Anchorage AK, MLB pitcher (Arizona Diamondbacks) who was 2001 World Series co-MVP with ‘Big Unit’ Randy Johnson

1975 [27] Travis Barker, Riverside CA, rock drummer (Blink 182-“Man Overboard”, “Josie”)

TODAY is the 100th birthday of the “Teddy Bear”. This requires a bit of explanation – while the exact date of the invention of the stuffed bear is unknown, it was 100 years ago TODAY that US President Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt took time out to relax on a hunting trip near Little Sunflower River in Mississippi. In an effort to please the President a bear cub was captured, stunned and tied to a tree to ensure that he had an easy target and would go home with a trophy. However, the prez refused to shoot the defenceless cub and ordered it set free. It became a hot news story and the little cub became referred to as the ‘Teddy bear’. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn candy store, took credit for creating the first stuffed toy bear in America after seeing a newspaper cartoon of the hunting incident, but it may be that Richard Steiff of Germany had already created the first plush bear (if you watch “Antiques Roadshow” you’ll know that Steiff bears are now worth a fortune). Either way, it is safe to say that stuffed beards would never have achieved their tremendous popularity over the past century had it not been for that famous first ‘Teddy Bear’. (OK kids, that’s the end of the story. Now lights out and get to sleep!)

TODAY is “Leftovers Trading Day”, a day to swap all the leftovers lurking in the back of your refrigerator to a friend for the leftovers in theirs.

TODAY is “Operating Room Nurse Day”, the highlight of “Operating Room Nurse Week”.

TODAY the “Biggest Liar in the World Competition” will be held in Cumbria in England’s Lake District. The contest, held at the Bridge Inn pub, attracts worldwide attention for its annual outpouring of less-than-believable tall tales.

1666 [336] 1st recorded ‘blood transfusion’ (dog-to-dog)

1896 [106] 1st ‘hydro-electric power plant’ at Niagara Falls begins operation

1982 [20] 1st ‘domed stadium’ in Canada opens (BC Place-Vancouver)

1994 [08] The Channel Tunnel (‘Chunnel’) opens, linking Britain & France under the English Channel

1993 [09] Miami’s Don Shula becomes winningest coach in NFL history, beating Eagles for his 325th victory (finishes career in 1995 with 347 wins and is elected to Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1997)

[Fri] “Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets” opens
[Fri ] National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Fri] Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day
[Sat] Button Day
[Sun] 98th Toronto Santa Claus Parade
[Sun ] Take A Hike Day
[Sun ] Homemade Bread Day
[Sun ] National Farm Joke Day
This Week Is . . . Random Acts of Kindness Week / National Farm Week
This Month Is . . . Stamp Collecting Month / Family Stories Month


• CLOSE TO THE BODY – those who hide money in a belt or shoulder holster are people who hoard everything in their lives. They hoard personal assets and are jealous of relationships with others.
• LOOSE IN A POCKET OR PURSE – these people have more important things to do than worry about money. They are happiest when being independent.
• FASTENED IN A MONEY CLIP – money clippers think of money as easy to earn and when they decide they need more, they’ll work overtime, take a second job or cash in on investments.
• PAPER MONEY AND CHANGE MIXED TOGETHER – these people are very social. They like variety in their lives and would rather chat with friends than balance their chequebook.
• PAPER MONEY IN SEVERAL PLACES, DIFFERENT POCKETS AND/OR PURSE – these people plan ahead for problems and always have contingency plans. On the other hand, they are not very spontaneous.
• ONE HIDDEN LARGE DENOMINATION BILL  – these people want to be self-sufficient at all costs. They resist advice, spend time alone and they are under no obligation to anyone.
• NEATLY ARRANGED IN A WALLET ARRANGED BY DENOMINATIONS – people who keep their money filed are intellectual hard workers. They find it difficult to understand people who do not set goals.
• IN A WALLET IN NO ORDER – these people rely on their intuition more than others and are compassionate.

That interlude of silence was my fault – you can stop smacking your radio.

• Aries – Someone will turn a cold shoulder to you today and your feelings will be hurt. Don’t worry, you’ll get even by turning a tepid elbow to them later.
• Taurus – You will get together with several friends and start an extremely exclusive club. Mostly just so you can have your own secret handshake.
• Gemini – Today is a good day to wear your lucky Rocketship underwear. Try not to leap into rooms while shouting ‘Hark!’ however.
• Cancer – This is a good time to get out there and make a difference! Your biggest problem will be figuring out where ‘there’ is.
• Leo – Keep telling yourself you’re almost normal. Lots of people have extra appendages.
• Virgo – You are about to get yourself into a bit of a jam. Strawberry, most likely.
• Libra – Today you will find yourself wondering why a shampoo that ‘tingles’ would be better at preventing dandruff than one that doesn’t.
• Scorpio – Today you will begin work on a life-size pterodactyl robot which you will use to terrorize the city. Either that or you’ll take a nap. It just depends what kind of mood you’re in.
• Sagittarius – Today you will uncover a conspiracy involving leaf-blowers and other noisy and
completely pointless garden equipment.
• Capricorn – Today you will suddenly realize how sensuous pudding can be. This will mark a turning point in your life.
• Aquarius – You are going to be the life of the party today. The stars say that you will wow the crowd with a table dance.
• Pisces – Travel is in your future but be sure to pack a gas mask. The scenery surrounding the local landfill can be quite breathtaking at this time of year.

BS Q & A:
Q: What kind of ocean-going vessel is always called a ‘boat’ and never a ‘ship’, no matter how large it is?
A: For some unknown reason submarines, ferries and ore carriers are always called ‘boats’.
Source: Canadian Maritime Command

• “The world would be a better place if we could just get rid of . . . “
• “If you could change one thing about your mate’s appearance, what would it be?”

Today’s Question: 8% of us have bought this for our home but we rarely ever use it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Exercise equipment.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

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