Wednesday, November 6, 2002        Edition: #2415
It’s Another Running Of The Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY in Beverly Hills, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences will induct tube legends Jean Stapleton (“All in the Family”) and Tim Conway & Harvey Korman (“Carol Burnett Show”) into the ‘TV Hall of Fame’ . . . TONIGHT on ABC-TV, Barbara Walters interviews “The Osbournes” and Sharon Osbourne will likely announce the 2nd season of the family show will be the last . . . TONIGHT the 7th season of “South Park” kicks off and guess who’s back? ‘Kenny’, the character who got killed off at the end of every episode until he was retired in the 5th season . . . Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin has finally admitted that he’s been on a few dates with Gwyneth Paltrow, but insists she’s not his girlfriend . . . Who was it that said all publicity is good publicity? According to Hollywood insiders, Winona Ryder is HOT (as a stolen designer dress) and has been offered several movie scripts over the past few months since her shoplifting bust (suggested new movies for Winona?) . . . And we quote Courtney Love who claims her pal Winona is no shoplifter by saying, “She shops like a maniac and she’s got ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) almost as bad as me!”

36TH CMA AWARDS:
• Vince Gill hosts TONIGHT’S “Country Music Association Awards” for the 11th straight year, live on CBS-TV from Nashville’s Grand Ole Opry.
• Alan Jackson has a record-setting 10 nominations, while Toby Keith has 6. Both are up for ‘Entertainer of the Year’.
• Performers include Shania Twain, Brooks & Dunn, Kenny Chesney, Faith Hill, Alison Krauss, Carolyn Dawn Johnson, Martina McBride, Montgomery Gentry, Brad Paisley, George Strait, Travis Tritt, Keith Urban and Lee Ann Womack. (Is this a 12-hour show or what?)
• Winners on ‘Country Music’s Biggest Night’ are determined by the votes of more than 5,000 industry execs, musicians, publishers, songwriters, and producers.
NET: http://www.cmaawards.com/2002

NEW TERMS FOR ‘02:
• ‘Corporate Anorexia’  – An unhealthy condition whereby a company becomes so preoccupied with ‘cutting the fat’ nothing else gets done. The single-minded focus on cost-cutting and running a ‘lean and mean’ operation can lead to disaster. (Did ya hear that , boss?)
• ‘Generation DotNet’ – The nickname for people aged 15-25. DotNets have conflicting attitudes: They’re pro-government but AWOL on election day. They’re pro-immigrant and tolerate homosexuality, but don’t trust people in general. (In other words, they’re screwed up!)
• ‘Borking’ – To diss or defame someone. Includes anyone who gets trashed in the media. (“Geez, Winona Ryder sure took a borking after she got busted.”)

BAD NEWS FREQUENT FLIERS:
Too much jet lag can damage your memory and slow down your brain. A new study of airline cabin staff shows that those who’ve been flying across time zones for 4 years or more have slower reaction times and worse short-term memory than people in non-flying jobs. The study suggests the lapses may be caused by hormones produced by stress.

BIZARRE BS:
• A Singapore firm is marketing a new range of steel chastity belts targeted at husbands who suspect their wives of being unfaithful, parents with teenage daughters, and women who fear assault. The belts are rustproof, fully guaranteed (um, against what?) and sell for just under $800. Orders are already coming in from across Asia and the Middle East. (Now if somebody could just bring back the rack.)
• A Michigan jury has awarded $200,000 to a 27-year-old man who claimed that an auto accident turned him into a homosexual. The man’s attorney told jurors that after the accident, the man moved back home with his parents and started hanging around gay bars. (Must have been a rear-end collision.)
• A German woman is accusing her dentist of storming into a crowded bar and pulling out her dentures. Seems the doc became enraged because the woman wouldn’t pay her dental bill, so he tracked her down and yanked her dentures. He says he won’t give ‘em back till the bill’s paid. (In attempting to plead her side of the argument the woman says, “Mmmph ayead dose teef origan ete!”)

HOLLYWOOD’S SEXIEST WOMEN 2002:
5. Jessica Alba
4. Halle Berry
3. Angelina Jolie
2. Britney Spears
1. Jennifer Lopez

HOLLYWOOD’S SEXIEST MEN 2002:
5. Heath Ledger
4. George Clooney
3. Tom Cruise
2. Josh Hartnett
1. Brad Pitt
Source: Hollywood.com poll

THE BULL SHEET 11.06.2K2

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [71] Mike Nichols (Peschkowsky), Berlin GER, movie producer/director (“Primary Colors”, Oscar-“The Graduate”)/Mr Diane Sawyer since 1988  UP NEXT: Directs Al Pacino & Mary-Louise Parker in “Angels in America”, coming NEXT YEAR

1946 [56] Sally Field (Mahoney), Pasadena CA, movie actress (“Mrs Doubtfire”, 2 Oscars-“Norma Rae”, “Places in the Heart”)  FACTOID: Her TV drama series “The Court” in which she played a judge lasted only a few episodes this year.

1948 [54] Glen Frey, Detroit MI, classic rock musician (“The Heat is On”, Eagles-“Hotel California”)

1955 [47] Maria Shriver, Chicago IL, TV journalist (“Dateline: NBC”)/Mrs Arnold Schwarzenegger since 1986

1970 [32] Ethan Hawke, Austin TX, film actor (“Training Day”, “Reality Bites”)/Mr Uma Thurman since 1998

1972 [30] Rebbeca Romijn-Stamos (pronounced ‘Romaine’ like the lettuce), Berkeley CA, movie actress (“S1m0ne”, “X-Men”)/sometime model (“Vogue”)/Mrs John Stamos since 1998  UP NEXT: “X-Men 2″ opening MAY 2  NOTE: She plays a plays a double-crossing, back-stabbing, role-playing jewel thief in the Brian De Palma crime thriller “Femme Fatale”, which opens TODAY on limited screens. She’s certainly no prude – during the film she seduces a female model in a washroom, lap dances in a biker bar and seduces a paparazzi photographer played by Antonio Banderas – on a pool table!

1972 [30] Thandie (Thandiewe, meaning ‘beloved’ in Zulu) Newton, ZAMBIA, movie actress (“The Truth About Charlie”, “Mission Impossible 2″)  NEXT MOVIE: The Sylvester Stallone crime thriller “Shade”, due NEXT YEAR

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY in Edmonton, the “Canadian Finals Rodeo” begins, billing itself ‘the professional rodeo championships of Canada’. Did you know bull riding accounts for 43% of all rodeo injuries?
PHONER: 780-471-7210
NET: http://www.canadianfinalsrodeo.ca

TODAY “Ramadan” begins, the fasting month for Muslims worldwide. An appropriate greeting is ‘Ramadan mubarek’ (blessed be the month of Ramadan).

TODAY is the “Halfway Point of Autumn”, marking the point when the Cincinnati Bengals are officially out of the playoffs.

TODAY is “National Take Our Kids to Work Day” in Canada. Since it was introduced
in 1994, more than a million Grade 9 students across Canada have participated in the annual job-shadowing program.
NET: http://www.tlp.on.ca/kidswork/index2.html

TODAY is “Saxophone Day”, commemorating the 1814 birth of Belgium’s Adolphe Sax, inventor of the musical instrument named for him. Sax became wealthy inventing numerous musical instruments, but died in poverty in Paris in 1894. (If you ask us, our kids watch way too much ‘sax and violins’.)

THIS WEEK is the 7th annual “International Orangutan Awareness Week”. The Nature Conservancy predicts that orangutans will be extinct within 10 to 20 years if the average of a 1,000 kills per year continues. One reason the species is endangered – a female orangutan has to be 14-years-old to reproduce and can only give birth every 8 years.

ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2001 Keifer Sutherland’s hit TV series “24″ debuts on FOX

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1867 [135] 1st ‘Parliament of Canada’ opens (the next day, Québec starts whining)

1925 [77] ‘Royal Canadian Legion’ established (because war vets need a place with cheap booze) Ever wonder where all the moola from all those poppies they sell goes? All the answers on the annual ‘Poppy Campaign’ can be found here –
NET: http://www.legion.ca/english/pop.htm (info on annual poppy program)

1889 [113] Eiffel Tower opens in Paris (built for an exposition, there’s popular support to tear it down afterward and it almost happens)

1947 [55] 1st edition of “Meet The Press” on NBC (oldest program on TV)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1993 [09] Largest ‘PB & J sandwich’ is made in Peanut PA (40-feet long with 150 lbs of peanut butter & 50 lbs of grape jelly)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] PMS Stress Day
[Fri] Dunce Day
[Fri] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Fri] National Parents As Teachers Day
[Sat] Pamela Anderson/Kid Rock Wedding (Las Vegas)
[Mon] Remembrance Day
This Week Is . . . Canadian Career Week / Shallow Persons Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . Hunger Awareness Month / Diabetes Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
YOUR FAVORITE SWEAR WORD REVEALS YOUR PERSONALITY:

According to Dr Karl Greeves’ book, “Who Am I? Everyman’s Guide to Personality”, the word you most often use when cussing tells a lot of about your personality.
• The ‘S-Word’ (an acronym for ‘So Happy It’s Thursday’) – People who use this word the most don’t put on airs, they are down to earth, honest in their relationships and business dealings and know how to get things done. They tend to be perfectionists and are often excessively  self-critical. They make good friends and are loyal to a fault. They are better followers than leaders, have a can-do attitude, and make great employees.
• ‘Damn’ – These folks are very conservative and often prudish. They are open and loving and more religious than most. Calm and collected on the outside, they are a cauldron of thought and emotion on the inside. They can be quite volatile if provoked. Open-minded and artistic, they make fine painters and poets. They are the truest, bluest of friends.
• ‘Hell’ – These people are fiercely independent and tend to use others to further their own ends. Passionate and sexy, they make fantastic lovers. They adore money and material things. They make good mates and are somewhat family oriented, although they don’t express affection as well as other cussing types.
• ‘Bull’/’Beans’/’Shucks’ – People who can’t bring themselves to curse and use softer words are often practical jokers. Extremely creative, they make fine employees and wonderful bosses. They’re family oriented and can often go overboard with things. Of all the personality types, they are the most misunderstood.
• The ‘F-Word’ – People who use the F-word and its conjugations as a verb tend to be hostile and unreliable. They view life as a joke. Even though they like the company of others, they are loners at heart. They are hard workers and are extremely productive when motivated by personal gain. They can accomplish seemingly impossible tasks if something is in it for them. Or . . . they could be just a bunch of guys drinking together.

BS PHONE STARTER:
“What’s the proper amount to give a kid as an allowance these days?” (A recent bank survey finds girls are getting more than boys and having to do less work for it.)

WHO SAID IT?
“I have offended God and mankind because my work didn’t reach the quality it should have.”
a) Steven Seagal
b) Joe Clark
c) Leonardo Da Vinci
d) Adam Sandler
ANSWER: Leonardo Da Vinci

BS TRIVIAL PURSUIT:
• [Global View] What crop, illegal in Canada from 1938 to 1998, is a source of paper, salad oil, fabric and soap? [Hemp]
• [News] How many of the 6 original Canadian astronauts went into space? [Five]
• [Game Time] What city houses the Canadian Football Hall of Fame? [Hamilton]
• [Written Word] Which Canadian province’s dictionary lists such indigenous words as ‘caplin’, janny’, and ‘nunny-bag’? [Newfoundland]
• [Sound & Screen] What popular recording artist refers to her romantic ballads as ‘baby-making songs’ – Celine Dion, Faith Hill or Janet Jackson? [Janet Jackson]
Source for all: “Trivial Pursuit: 20th Anniversary Edition [Canadian Version]”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average person spends 26 years of their life in bed and during that time they will do this every 12 minutes.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Change positions.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s hard to be graceful getting off your high horse.


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