November 13 2018

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Tuesday, November 13, 2018        Edition: #6334

Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Ben Affleck has reportedly checked back into rehab. The news comes just days after he finalized his divorce from Jennifer Garner following his 40-day stint last month in a Malibu rehab facility. Affleck has reportedly told friends that he needs to continue treatment for several more months to work on his sobriety. He has previously admitted to having problems with alcohol.
-Canoe
★ Model Kate Upton is a momma!  Kate and her MLB pitcher husband Justin Verlander, who got married last year, became parents on Wednesday when Kate gave birth to a baby girl. They’ve named her Genevieve Upton Verlander.
-Cosmopolitan
★ Our first look at “Toy Story 4” is finally here, with a 90-second teaser which was released on Monday.  While the movie is set to mark the end of the beloved franchise, it may also be the untimely end for many of the characters we’ve grown to love. Both Tim Allen and Tom Hanks spoke on the difficulties of wrapping up the franchise. Allen, who provides the voice for Buzz Lightyear, says he could barely get through his last scene, and Hanks said that he could not face the producers and writers when voicing the last words of Woody because it was so emotional.
-TheBlast
★ Alicia Silverstone says that her son’s vegan diet is the key to his good health. She has revealed that her seven-year-old son Bear has never taken any medicine, and she thinks his diet is the secret to his well-being, saying he’s never been sick in his entire life.  She says Bear occasionally gets sniffles or a runny nose, but is back running around a few hours later.  Silverstone, who is vegan herself, says attitudes towards veganism have changed over the years, recalling years ago when she would go on Letterman or Leno and they would ask her what a vegan was, because in her words, “It was like I was an alien, no one was talking about being vegan on television.”
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kurt Russell, Tessa Thompson, Jake Owen
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Viola Davis, Wyatt Russell, Muse
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rachel Weisz, Jason Mantzoukas, Demetri Martin, Dolph Lundgren
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jeff Goldblum, Dick Cavett, Mark Iacono, Caitlin Kalafus
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Elle King
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Eddie Redmayne, Zoe Kravitz
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Hugh Jackman, Jason Reitman, Valerie Simpson, Paul Shaffer
• “The Talk” (CBS): Michael Fishman, John Goodman, Lecy Goranson, Laurie Metcalf, Maya Lynne Robinson, guest co-hosts Sara Evans & Dania Ramirez
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jamie Foxx
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Mark Wahlberg, Tig Notaro
• “The Voice” (NBC): Live-Top 24 Eliminations
• “We’ll Meet Again” (PBS): Season 2 premiere. Two Vietnam veterans search for the heroes who saved them during the war.
• “Leah Remini: Scientology and The Aftermath” (A&E): Season 3 premiere. Contributors share their personal stories of growing up as Jehovah’s Witnesses.
• “Carl Weber’s The Family Business” (BET): Series premiere. LC Duncan has decided it’s finally time to pass on the mantel of leadership, during a time when their Asian supplier has cut them off, and their rivals are threatening to put them out of business.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rihanna — sent fans into a frenzy after she shared a video where she is dancing crazily in the studio to a hot new song. However, she played a cruel joke on her fans by muting the sound on the video. Fans are jokingly calling her out on social media for not letting them hear her new club banger.
• Ariana Grande – recently commented on an Instagram post from The Zoe Report with a link to 13 tips on how to find the perfect engagement ring.  Her one-word response? “Don’t.”
• Halsey — made a surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live on the weekend to perform with Lil Wayne.  Just before her performance, she got a tattoo, Instagramming her new ink with the words: “Got this yatted by @jonboytattoo seconds before walking onstage.”
• Spice Girls — During a recent appearance on The Johnathan Ross show in the UK, the group (sans Posh) revealed that after years of Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice) declining their proposals to rejoin the group, they couldn’t remember if they’d actually extended a formal invitation to join them for their recently announced reunion tour.
• Michael Buble – will be releasing his new album, “Love” (or the red heart emoji), on Friday — the same day he’ll get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame — and he has announced 11 tour dates in Canada, including July 26 at Scotiabank Arena in Toronto.
• Aerosmith — Guitarist Joe Perry is said to be “alert and responsive” after being rushed to a hospital on Saturday night following a performance. A rep issued this statement: “Following a guest performance during Billy Joel’s show…at Madison Square Garden, Joe Perry experienced shortness of breath and was treated backstage by paramedics who gave the guitarist oxygen and used a tracheal tube to clear his airway before taking him to a hospital.”  He is expected to return to the road later this month.
• Fleetwood Mac – were forced to cancel their Edmonton, AB show on Saturday night because an unnamed band member was ill.  The show was cancelled an hour and a half before its 8p.m. start time, and last night’s Calgary concert was postponed as well.  Make up shows have been scheduled for Edmonton on April 13 and Calgary on April 15. Guitarist Neill Finn later posted that “we had to protect that wondrous force of nature that is Stevie’s [Nicks] voice”.
• Elvis Presley — has been selected as one of this year’s recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor in the U.S.  A statement from the White House said: “Elvis Presley defined American culture to billions of adoring fans around the world.” President Trump will award the medal on Friday to the late Presley and others including sporting greats Babe Ruth and Roger Staubach.
• Kane Brown – he and his wife, Katelyn Jae have only been married for a month, but they are already feeling pressure to have children…from an unexpected source:  Jason and Brittany Aldean, who are expecting their second child in February.  Brown says that for now, the couple’s two dogs are keeping them busy.
• Shenandoah — is heading out on a Christmas tour and they’re taking a good cause along with them. They have announced the “2018 Good Ole Fashioned Christmas Tour”, with nine stops planned in November and December.  Among the benefactors of the tour will be Christmas for Kids and the Salvation Army.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Above Majestic” (Not Rated/ Documentary):  A look at the origins, history and conspiracies behind the “Majestic 12”, a clandestine group of military and corporate figureheads charged with reverse-engineering extraterrestrial technology. (Ronald Bernard, George W. Bush)
• “We the Animals” (R-Rated, Drama):  Manny, Joel, and Jonah tear their way through childhood and push against the volatile love of their parents. As Manny and Joel grow into versions of their father and Ma dreams of escape, Jonah embraces an imagined world all on his own. (Sheila Vand, Raúl Castillo)
• “Time Trap” (Not Rated, Action/Adventure):  A group of students venture into the deep caves of remote Texas to locate a favorite archaeology professor who inexplicably has gone missing while searching for the Fountain of Youth. (Andrew Wilson, Cassidy Gifford)
• “The New Romantic” (Not Rated, Comedy/Romance):  Frustrated with the lack of chivalrous guys her own age, a college senior gives up on dating for love to date an older man in exchange for gifts instead. (Sarah Armstrong, Daina Barbeau)

AGE OF REASON?
A 69-year-old Dutch man who says he does not feel his age has launched a battle to make himself legally 20 years younger.  Why? Because he says that he is being discriminated against on a dating app.  Emile Ratelband who describes himself as a “positivity guru,” told a court in the Netherlands that he does not feel “comfortable” with his date of birth, and that he compares his wish to alter it to people who identify as transgender.  Ratelband said that due to having an official age that doesn’t reflect his emotional state, he is struggling to find both work and love. He has asked for his date of birth to be changed from March 11, 1949 to March 11, 1969.  He feels that if he were legally 49, rather than 69, he would be able to buy a new house, drive a different car, and take up more work. And he points out that when using Tinder, he gets no responses as a 69-year-old.  But if he were 49, as he puts it, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.”  He says that doctors have told him his body is that of a 45-year-old man.
(Why not?  On Tinder, no one else is telling the truth either!)
(Does “positivity guru” mean the same thing as “wishful thinker”?)
(I wonder if he realizes how this would affect others.  For instance, if he were born 20 years later, that automatically makes his father a dirty old man!)
-Guardian

WASTE NOT…
Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates unveiled his latest project last week: a futuristic toilet that doesn’t need water or sewers and uses chemicals to turn human waste into fertilizer.  The toilet, which Gates said is ready for sale after years of development, is the brainchild of research projects funded by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the world’s biggest private philanthropy organization. There are multiple designs of the toilet but all of them work by separating liquid and solid waste.  Rather than “flush” the waste away, the new toilets apply chemicals, eventually creating fertilizer.  Gates says the next step for the project is to pitch the concept to manufacturers.  He expects the market for the toilets to be over $6 billion by 2030.
(He says it’s a new invention, but I’ve got the feeling he’s been sitting on this one for a while!)
(Well, over OR UNDER $6 billion…)
(It makes sense that the founder of Microsoft would make us hit “save” after every job!)
-Mirror

SAD TIME OF YEAR:
Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is a kind of depression that appears at certain times of the year. It usually begins in the fall when the days get shorter and lasts through the winter in northern countries.  Here are some tips to Ease Winter SAD Symptoms:
► Spend more time outdoors during the day.
► Try to arrange the spaces you spend time in to maximize sunlight exposure
► Keep curtains open during the day.
► Build physical activity into your lifestyle preferably before SAD symptoms take hold.
► Make a habit of taking a daily noon-hour walk, particularly if you commute to school or work in the dark hours of the day.
► Try to resist the carbohydrate and sleep cravings that come with SAD.
► When all else fails, try a winter vacation in sunny climates—if the pocketbook and work schedule allow. (Definitely a case of the cure NOT being worse than the disease!)
There are professional treatments for SAD as well, including light therapy, medication and counselling.
-CMHA

BS CHRONOMETER 11.13.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [65] Frances Conroy, Monroe GA, TV actress (“Six Feet Under” 2001-1005, “American Horror Story” since 2011)

1954 [64] Chris Noth, Madison WI, TV actor (‘Peter Florrick’ on “The Good Wife” 2009-16, “Sex & The City” 1998-2004, “Law & Order” 1990-95)/movie actor (“Sex & The City” films)

1955 [63] Whoopi Goldberg (Caryn Johnson), NYC, TV personality (“The View” since 2007, “Hollywood Squares” 1998-2002)/movie actress (“Sister Act”, “Ghost”)

1967 [51] Jimmy Kimmel, Brooklyn NY, TV host (“Jimmy Kimmel Live” since 2003, “The Man Show” 1999-2003, “Win Ben Stein’s Money” 1997-2001)

1967 [51] Steve Zahn, Marshall MN, movie actor (“Dallas Buyers Club”, “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” franchise)

1969 [49] Gerard Butler, Paisley, Scotland, movie actor (“How to Train Your Dragon” films, “300″) COMING UP…”All Star Weekend” 2019

1978 [40] Nikolai Fraiture, NYC, rock bassist (The Strokes- ‘Last Nite’, ‘Juicebox’)

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “World Kindness Day”, when we’re encouraged to perform acts of kindness for others. A few BS suggestions just in case you can’t think of any …
✓ Randomly place boxes of condoms in people’s shopping carts when they aren’t looking.
✓ Walk into a bar and offer to buy a round for everyone.  Leave.
✓ Give another driver your parking spot.  Next to a fire hydrant.
✓ Take the parking ticket off some poor driver’s windshield.  Put it on someone else’s windshield.
(When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the tax man.)

• “Actors Day”, dedicated to all the talents who have acted or auditioned for even a small role in any film, TV, or theater project.  (My only acting experience is when I’ve said: “No, officer, I DON’T know how fast I was going….)

• “Moms & Dads Day”, because apparently “Mother’s Day” and Father’s Day” celebrations just aren’t enough pressure for kids to deal with … thanks a lot! (Do I have to buy a card for this too?)

• “Sadie Hawkins Day”, named after the “Li’l Abner” comic strip character ‘Sadie Hawkins, the homeliest gal in the hills’. The tradition that girls can ask boys out on this day was born in the “Li’l Abner” strip published on November 15, 1937.

• “Start a Rumor Day”, there isn’t much information available about this day, so there’s a good chance it got started by a rumor. That’s what the day is for anyway, to start a rumor!

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Girls Day
[Wed] Pickle Day
[Thurs] Little Red Wagon Day
[Thurs] International Guinness World Records Day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2005 [13] Astronauts aboard the International Space Station are awakened by Paul McCartney singing ‘Good Day Sunshine’ live from his concert in Anaheim, California

2010 [08] Taylor Swift sets a record by becoming the first female artist to place 11 songs on the Hot 100 at the same time.

TODAY IN TECH . . .
2006 [12] After failing in their attempt at a video streaming service, Google buys YouTube for $1.65 billion, growing it into the second-most-popular website worldwide (after google.com)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2009 [09] NASA announces that water has been discovered on the Moon, thanks to data from the Lunar Crater Observation & Sensing Satellite

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [23] World’s only known ‘Green Cat’ is confirmed by a veterinary hospital in Copenhagen, Denmark, a condition vets say may be caused by a metabolism defect

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ The average human body carries ten times more bacterial cells than human cells.
✓ In a lifetime, the average person walks the equivalent of five times around the world.
✓ At over 2,000 kilometers long, The Great Barrier Reef is the largest living structure on Earth.
✓ Killer whales are actually dolphins.
✓ Grasshoppers have ears in their bellies.
✓ The “ice cream” you see in ice cream ads is often mashed potatoes because they will not melt during production.
-ZMEScience, WhattheFFacts

BS SQUARE DANCING DO’S AND DON’TS:
• Do: Swing with a group of dancers. Don’t: Dance with a group of swingers.
• Do: Swing your partner round and round.  Don’t: Do it above your head.
• Do: Keep it square. Don’t: Pull out those fancy octagon moves.
• Do: Bow to your partner. Don’t: Tell your partner her skirt looks like a horse blanket.
• Do: Hold your partner close.  Don’t: Be partners with your cousin.
• Do: Spin your partner round and round. Don’t: Spin your partner right round baby right round like a record baby right round round round.
• Do: Make fun of square dancers.  Don’t: Stop
• And the #1 “don’t” about square dancing:  You do NOT talk about square dancing.
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS MENU DESCRIPTIONS TO BE WARY OF:
If a restaurant uses any of these adjectives, beware!
✗ Food-like
✗ Dumpster-raised
✗ Gristle-licious
✗ Long-suffering
✗ Recycled
✗ Gently vibrating
✗ Gypsy-cursed
✗ Slow-fondled
✗ Freshly-exhumed
-First published in BS in 2015

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Everyone says that you should follow your dreams, so I’m going back to bed.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What obscure thing did you like before it became popular?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  38% of women have used this kitchen staple to improve their appearance. What is it?
Answer:  Lemon juice (to lighten hair)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Wise men don’t need advice. Fools won’t take it.

 

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