November 23, 2000                                           Edition:  #1939

TODAY is turkey day in the USA, and in Japan it’s the ancient harvest festival called “Labour Thanksgiving Day”. They combine two holidays on one day? No wonder they’re so overworked!
OTHER BS EXCUSES FOR HOLIDAYS:
• ‘FALSE Labor Day’ (when unions threaten to have a parade, but don’t)
• ‘DEADBEAT Father’s Day’ (remember him by NOT sending a card)
• ‘PUT Your Daughter To Work Day’ (it’s her turn to turn on the dishwasher)
• ‘Bad Hair Day’ (for [your co-host], it’s every day)
• ’Hallmark Card Day’ (saving them the trouble of thinking up new holidays requiring greeting cards)
• Stockwell Day (if 3% of us voted for it, we could MAKE it a holiday!)

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Alanis Morissette has filed papers to sell off another $400,000-worth of MP3.com shares, after dumping $1.5 million of the stock in the last 3 months (hmm, sense another Napster-type problem on the horizon?) . . . Melanie Griffith has checked out of the hospital where she was being treated for painkiller addiction and returned home to hubby Antonio Banderas and the kids (she’s posting a journal about her drug battle on her Website [does EVERYONE now have a Website?]) . . . Michael Douglas and new wife Catherine Zeta-Jones have secured a ban on unauthorized pics of their wedding in Britain’s “Hello” mag because they sold exclusive rights to rival “OK!” for a million bucks (didn’t “Penthouse buy the honeymoon?) . . . Meantime, a sleazeball who claims to have secretly taped the wedding says tabloid bidding for the 2-hour video is now well into 6 figures . . . And Madonna has now confirmed she and Guy Ritchie plan to wed as early as NEXT YEAR — imagine what they could get for exclusive rights!  

THE DOT COM MYTH:
New figures from Statistics Canada show that about 22% of Canadian businesses had a Website in 1999, but Internet sales accounted for only 0.2% of their total. (Listener poll: Have you ever bought anything on the Web?)

THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME:
British Telecom has developed an electronic tagging system that makes appliances able to ‘recognize’ their location and prevents stolen items from working when plugged into a foreign outlet. (Great, now every time you move you gotta buy a new toaster.)

YOU GOTS TO HAVE FRIENDS:
In a new study, psychologists say best friends are the best medicine for getting rid of stress, and people with close friends are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. (Wait a sec here — who do we go out drinking with, our enemies?)

SILLY SURVEYS:
• 82% of Canadian women in a Philips survey say they prefer their men ‘clean-shaven’. (11% would just settle for ‘clean’.)
• A “Discover” magazine poll of plastic surgeons finds the 4th-most-popular cosmetic surgery among men is — ‘breast reduction’. (A sad comment on the shape we’re in.)
• A Clairol survey finds Toronto men prefer blondes, while Montreal men prefer brunettes. (And Newfie men prefer black wool over white.)

THE BULL SHEET 11.23.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS (some real slim pickings today) . . .
1954    [46] Bruce Hornsby, Williamsburg VA, classic rock singer (& the Range-“The Way It Is”)
1966    [34] Ken Block, Gainesville FL, rock singer/guitarist (Sister Hazel-“All For You”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Thanksgiving Day” in the USA, so get your NFL pool picks in early because the traditional Detroit and Dallas Thanksgiving home games will be played THIS AFTERNOON. Did you know Canada originally celebrated on the same day as the USA? TOMORROW is the tongue-in-cheek American holiday “You’re Welcomegiving Day”, an excuse to make this into a 4-day weekend, which most Americans manage to do.

We’re declaring TOMORROW officially the day when you lazy oafs can cross ‘Take down the Christmas lights’ off your to-do lists and add on ‘Plug in the Christmas lights’.

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1992    [08] 10-millionth cellular phone is sold

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1889    [111] 1st ‘jukebox’ is placed in service at the Palais Royal Saloon in San Francisco (at the time, ‘juke’ is a slang word for a house of ill repute)
1936    [64] 1st edition of the “Globe & Mail” newspaper (“The Globe” part dates from 1844)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Sun] 88th Grey Cup (Montreal vs BC in Calgary)
[Mon] Canadian Election Day
National Farm-City Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
PHONE STARTERS:

• “Have you ever dated someone just because they had a cool car?” (In a Mitsubishi poll, 10% said ‘yes’. And 5% say they wouldn’t be caught dead dating anyone driving an ugly car!)
• “Why is it Canadians say ‘sorry’ when what we really mean is ‘pardon me’ or ‘excuse me’?”

BS GREY CUP QUIZ:
• Which was the first ‘western team’ to win the Grey Cup? (Winnipeg, which beat the Hamilton Tigers in 1935, when it was still a western team.)
• Which team won both the first Grey Cup AND the first Vanier Cup, the Canadian university championship? (The University of Toronto Varsity Blues won the first Grey Cup in 1909 and the CIAU championship Vanier Cup when it began in 1965.)
• Which team’s fans are credited with making the Grey Cup into a festival? (The Calgary Stampeders, whose fans invaded Toronto and partied hard to celebrate the Stampeders’ 1948 Grey Cup win over Ottawa.)
• A team from Sarnia ON won the Grey Cup twice. What was its nickname? (The Sarnia Imperials, who were sponsored by Imperial Oil, won the Cup in ’34 and ’36.)
• Which current CFL city has gone the longest without a Grey Cup championship? (Montreal, where the prior incarnation of the Alouettes last won the Cup in 1977 back when Marv Levy was head coach.)
• What’s the only American team to capture the Grey Cup? (Baltimore, vs Calgary in 1995.)
(Source for all: “CFL Fun Fact Archive “)

BS TAG LINE: You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.


Printer Friendly Version