November 22, 2000                                        Edition:  #1938

NEW BS CONDOMS ON THE MARKET:
• Nike Condom — “Just do it!”
• Toyota Condom — “Oh what a feeling!”
• Secret Condom — “Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.”
• Bounty Condom — “The quicker picker upper.”
• Microsoft Condom — “Where do you want to go today?”
• Star Trek Condom — “Boldly go where no man has gone before!”

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Backstreet Boys’ just-released “Black & Blue” album is predicted to top ‘N Sync’s first-week sales record of 2.5 million copies of “No Strings Attached” back in March . . . “That ’70s Show” co-star Lisa Robin Kelly has been forced into rehab after producers discovered her wasted on booze and pills (talk about getting into a role!) . . . Word has it the onscreen romance between “ER” stars Eriq La Salle (‘Dr Peter Benton’) and Michael Michele (‘Dr Cleo Finch’) has spread off-screen as well (he’s a smooth operator) . . . Now that Gwyneth Paltrow is finally out of the picture, buzz is Ben Affleck is hot ‘n heavy with Jerry Seinfeld’s ex-gf Shoshanna Lonstein (whose only recent claim to fame was designing that push-up bustier Julia Roberts wore in the movie “Erin Brockovich”) . . . The creator of “Judge Judy” is suing the show’s production company for allegedly cheating him out of the program’s huge profits (will this case be on a future show?).

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
Glenn Close is back as ‘Cruella De Vil” in the Disney live-action sequel “102 Dalmatians” . . . The suspense thriller “Unbreakable”, from “Sixth Sense” director M Night Shyamalan, stars Bruce Willis as a man who learns something extraordinary about himself after a devastating accident.

DESK RAGE:
According to a new poll, stress and long hours are driving office employees nuts in the office. • 10% say they’ve seen employees come to blows because of stress at work.
• 12% say they work in a cubicle like ‘Dilbert’.
• 12% say they’ve called in sick due to stress.
• 14% say machinery or equipment has been damaged as a result of workplace rage.
• 20% say they’ve quit a job because of stress.
• 23% say they’ve been driven to tears because of workplace stress.
• And 42% say there’s yelling and verbal abuse in their offices. (This story would bother me, except I’ve got some stock in the company that makes Prozac.)

SPEAKING OF CRYING:
A new study shows that male workers panic at the mere thought of a female co-worker in tears. Because of that, men often fail to pass on constructive criticism that could eventually help boost a woman’s career — they’re afraid if they do, she might cry. (Men cry too, but only when they lose the office sports pool.)

WINNIE’S IN WINNIPEG:
Thanks in part to funds raised by school kids, Winnipeg’s Pavilion Gallery Museum has purchased the only known original portrait of ‘Winnie the Pooh’, an oval painting by ‘Pooh’ books illustrator EH Shepard. The gallery paid $176,920 US in a Sotheby’s auction, some 7 times its estimated value!

THE BULL SHEET 11.22.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1921    [79] Rodney Dangerfield (Jacob Cohen), Babylon NY, ‘no respect’ standup comedian/movie actor (“Little Nicky”, “Caddyshack”)
1956    [44] Richard Kind, Trenton NJ, TV actor (Paul Thomas Lassiter-“Spin City”)
1958    [42] Jamie Lee Curtis, LA CA, movie actress (“Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later”, “True Lies”) NOTE: She’ll star in “Halloween H2K: Evil Never Dies” next year
1961    [39] Mariel Hemingway, Mill Valley CA, movie actress (“First Daughter”, “Deconstructing Harry”)/Ernest Hemingway’s granddaughter

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY “Grey Cup Week” begins in Calgary with a ‘Touchdown Bar B-Q’ kickoff party in Olympic Plaza and the opening of a CFL Hall of Fame Exhibit. 12 enthusiastic CFL fans are expected to arrive TODAY after walking all the way from Medicine Hat.
NET: http://www.cfl.ca/GreyCup/home.html

TODAY is  “Start Your Own Country Day”, a good excuse to ask listeners what 3 things would be different if they ran their own nation.

ONE YEAR AGO . . .
1999    NHL great Wayne Gretzky inducted into Hockey Hall of Fame

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1917    [83] NHL 1st organized (Montreal Canadiens, Toronto Arenas, Ottawa Senators)
1981    [19] 1st team to win 4 consecutive Grey Cups (Edmonton Eskimos, who win a 5th in ’82)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] US Thanksgiving Day
[Sun] 88th Grey Cup (Montreal vs BC in Calgary)
National Family Week
International Drum Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
TRUTH OR BS?

• From a height of 3 km it takes 30 seconds for a snowflake to reach the ground on its own. (BS. According to “The Canadian Weather Trivia Calendar 2001″ by David Phillips, it takes 30 MINUTES.)
• WWF wrestler “The Rock” once tried out for the CFL. (TRUE. Dwayne Johnson attended the 1995 Calgary Stampeders training camp but was cut, according to “Conway Sports”.)
• PC leader Joe Clark’s daughter is named ‘Kimberly’. (BS. It’s Catherine. Kimberly-Clark is the company that makes ‘Kleenex’, ‘Huggies’ and ‘Depends’)
• Drivers yakking on a cell phone are 4 times more likely to have an accident. (TRUE says a 1997 Canadian study.)
• BC Lions kicker Lui Passaglia is the CFL’s ‘Rookie of the Year’. (BS. He’s 46, has been playing for the Lions since ‘76, and will retire after the Grey Cup.)
• Labatt’s Blue was named by Winnipeg Blue Bomber fans. (TRUE. Labatt’s Website says the name was chosen because of the beer’s blue label, and Bomber fans saluted their team by calling it ‘Blue’.)
• 25% of Canadians believe there is intelligent life elsewhere in the universe. (TRUE. But the nationwide poll also finds 89% are positive it ISN’T on Parliament Hill.)

BS TAG LINE: Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.


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