November 21, 2000                                             Edition:  #1937

Advocacy group ‘World Against Toys Causing Harm’ (WATCH) has just published its 29th annual list of toys that could be dangerous to kids. Among this year’s poo-pooed playthings – the ‘Bart Simpson Slingshot’, Sesame Street’s ‘Checkup Ernie’, and a mock military bazooka.
OTHER BS TOYS NOT RECOMMEMDED:
• ‘The Marilyn Manson Make-Up Vanity’
• ‘Anthrax The Clown’
• ‘Junior Electrician Outlet Patrol’
• ‘The Ozone Depleting Bubble Machine’
• ‘Roof Ranger Paratrooper Outfit’
• ‘The Exorcist Barf-In-A-Box’
• ‘My First Ferret Farm’
• ‘Autopsy Barbie’
• ‘Oo You’re Blue! The Hold-Your-Breath Game’

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
R Kelly, who’s topping charts with ”TP-2.com”, says it may be his last album because he’s tired of being criticized for writing explicit lyrics (actually what he said was “I’m BLEEPing sick of BLEEPholes giving me BLEEP) . . . In his lawsuit against his former accounting firm, Elton John admits he once blew $57 million during a 20-month spending spree, including over $400,000 on fresh flowers (no wonder the geezer rocker can’t afford to retire) . . . And the weirdest music release of the week has to be a new CD titled “Pat and Mike Wallace” – that’s right, surly “60 Minutes” anchorman Mike Wallace crooning to 1940s-style big band music (back in the days when he was only 70).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Russell Crowe in the Roman epic “Gladiator”, also available on DVD in a 2-disc package that includes over 4 hours of bonus material . . . Patrick Stewart and his superhero team goes up against a mutant terrorist organization in the comics-based action flick “X-Men” . . . Mel Gibson voices the role of ‘Rocky the Rooster’ in the animated family flick “Chicken Run”.

LIVING IN SIN:
In a new Zogby poll, 56% of respondents say it’s acceptable for an engaged couple to live together prior to marriage, while 40% disagree. (Most of whom are tired of yelling through the  apartment wall, “Hey, keep it down in there!”)

BOTTOM LINE — WE’RE LOYAL:
In a new ”Extra!”/”Redbook” online sex poll, an astounding 78% women and 71% men say sex is best when you’re in a relationship. 59% of women and 42% of men consider cybersex cheating. And an overwhelming number of men and women say they make love 3 times a week — or more. (Sometimes with a partner.)

THE 7-YEAR ITCH:
A study shows the average man can make love to the same woman 1,000 times before getting the urge to move on to someone new. That’s enough to last most couples about 7 years. It takes women about 5,000 sexual encounters with the same partner before they get bored. (To stretch it out a lot longer, buy your husband a big-screen TV.)

SOMETHING FISHY:
The first ‘vegetarian caviar’ has been launched in Britain. ‘Cavi Art’ gets its fish-egg texture from alginic acid, a plant extract. A 100-gram jar costs only about 10 bucks, compared to over $400 for a like amount of real Beluga caviar. (Or for free, you can fill a Mason jar with skimmings from your goldfish bowl.)

THE BULL SHEET 11.21.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1944    [56] Harold Ramis, Chicago IL, movie director (“Analyze This”, “Groundhog Day”)/actor (“Ghostbusters”, “SCTV”)
1945    [55] Goldie Hawn (Btudlendgehawn), Washington DC, movie actress (“First Wives Club”, Oscar-“Cactus Flower”)/Kurt Russell’s longtime partner/Kate Hudson’s mom
1965    [35] Bjork (Gudmundsdottir), Reykjavik ICE, film actress (2000 Cannes festival winner “Dancer in the Dark”)/rock singer (“Selmasongs”)
1966    [34] Troy Aikman, West Covina CA, NFL QB (Dallas Cowboys)
1969    [31] Ken Griffey Jr, Donora PA, MLB slugger (Cincinnati Reds, ex-Seattle Mariners)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is the 28th “World Hello Day”, observed in some 179 countries The premise is simple — spreading goodwill by saying ‘hello’ to at least 10 people during the day. The movement’s Website tells you how to say ‘hello’ in oodles of languages. 
NET: http://ipl.lub.lu.se/youth/hello/

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1990    [10] Mick Jagger weds Jerry Hall in Bali (man, was that an expensive idea he had)
1995    [05] “Beatles Anthology I” released (450,000 copies sell, most single-day sales to date)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1783    [217] 1st ‘human flight’ (Jean Francois Pilatre de Rozier and the Marquis Francois Laurant d’Arlandes make 1st flight in a balloon, about 6 miles around Paris FRA)
1871     [129] 1st ‘human cannonball’ (Emilio Onra)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1976    [24] Vernon Bass of Sarasota FL becomes world champion oyster-eater by inhaling 684 in 20 minutes
1991    [09] Frenchman Gerard d’Aboville completes 4-month solo Pacific crossing — in a rowboat

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Start Your Own Country Day
[Wed] National Stop the Violence Day
[Thurs] US Thanksgiving Day
[Sun] Grey Cup (Calgary)
[Mon] Canadian Election Day

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS TABLOID TEASERS:

2 of the headlines are taken word-for-word from tabloids. Your contestant has to find the fake one.
GAME 1
• “Sex-Change Pilot Banned From Cockpit after HE Becomes a SHE!”
• “Jealous Cow Kills Farmer’s New Bride!”
• “Your Nose Can Talk!” (fake)

GAME 2
• “Sex Researcher Discovers the Cheating Gene” (fake)
• “Boy Shoots Grandpa Back to Life with Stun Gun!”
• “Tot Vanishes as Psychic Mom Tries to Teleport Her to Japan!”

BS TAG LINE: No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would.


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