November 13, 2000                                              Edition:  #1931

“National Children’s Book Week” begins TODAY, so here’s a look at . . .
BS CHILDREN’S BOOKS THAT DIDN’T MAKE THE CUT:
• “The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables”
• “Dad’s New Wife Robert”
• “Chicken Soup For the Kitchen Floor“
• “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence”
• “The Cat That Shat in the Hat”
• “The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy”
• “Horton Hires A Ho”
• “Pop! Goes The Hamster and Other Great Microwave Games”
• “You’re Different — And All the Other Kids Hate You!”

BS TABLOID TRASH:
• ”National Enquirer” reports Britney Spears has finally ‘fessed up about her relationship with ‘N Sync’s Justin Timberlake and her so-called romance with Britain’s Prince William. So here’s the scoop – she admits she loves Justin and they’re dating, but she denies she’s been trading hot ‘n’ heavy e-mails with Wills. (Thank gawd — now I can sleep at night.)
• 30-year-old actress Lara Flynn Boyle tells “US Weekly” that life with her 63-year-old boyfriend Jack Nicholson is ‘magic’ and that reports of her having an affair with newly-separated Harrison Ford are ‘pure poppycock’. (An unfortunate choice of wording?)
• His bio lists him as 5-11½, but according to “Globe”, “Gladiator” hunk Russell Crowe wears lifts in his shoes. Could it be he’s closer to gal-pal Meg Ryan’s 5-8? (Female fans don’t care – they just wanna know the size of his feet.)
• For a guest shot on hit TV sitcom “Will & Grace”, ”Enquirer” says mega-diva Cher showed up flaunting her own makeup facility — an enormous bus that’s one huge mirror-lined room inside, staffed by FIVE hair and makeup artists. (In case of SAG problems, it was followed by a NAPA parts truck.)
• If you believe ”Star”, Jennifer Lopez was recently shopping at Gucci in NYC and just couldn’t resist buying their $875 sterling silver embossed handcuffs. In fact, she bought 2 sets – presumably his ’n’ hers. And she then ordered 10 more sets to give as holiday gifts!
• ”Entertainment Weekly” reports ratings for coverage of the cliffhanger US election drew about 61.6 million viewers. That’s up a whopping 70% from the ‘96 presidential race, and puts it well ahead of the ”Survivor” finale and on par with typical Super Bowl numbers. (Maybe that’s why the election is turning into a nightly series.)

YOUR AVERAGE JOE:
Robert Porter’s book “The Mackeson Book Of Averages” defines what average people do . . .
• The average woman packs 75% more clothing than she needs when going on vacation. (She needs choices!)
• The average person loses a pound while sleeping. (Hey, a new diet!)
• The average person has a working vocabulary of about 4,000 words, less than 1% of the words in the dictionary. (The average 13-year-old has a vocabulary of 4 words – ‘like’, shegoes’, ‘sucks’ and ‘whatever’.)
• Men sleep an average of 8 hours a night, while women get 8 hours, 20 minutes. (‘Cause they have the blankets.)
• Average people dream a total of 1 hour, 45 minutes per night. (And about 7 hours during the day.)

THE BULL SHEET 11.13.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1954    [46] Chris Noth, Madison WI, TV actor (Mr Big-“Sex and the City”, formerly Det Mike Logan-“Law & Order”)
1955    [45] Whoopi Goldberg (Caryn Johnson), NYC, TV exec producer/panelist (“Hollywood Squares”)/movie actress (“Sister Act”, Oscar-“Ghost”) NOTE: Once worked in a mortuary where her job was applying makeup to corpses.
1963     [37] Vinny Testaverde, Floral Park NY, NFL QB (NY Jets)
1967    [33] Steve Christie, Oakville ON, NFL kicker who keeps winning Buffalo Bills games with last-second field goals

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY’s release of “1″, a 27-song compilation of the Beatles #1 hits is expected to be among the biggest-selling albums ever.

TODAY’s issue of “RPM” magazine is the last. You probably haven’t read it in years but its publishers, Stan Klees and Walt Grealis, can take credit for inventing the “Juno Awards”.

TODAY is “Ban All Menu-Driven Phone Systems Day”, when we’re encouraged to inform bureaucracies and corporations of our displeasure with them. They’re clearly NOT getting the message that menu-driven systems create ‘phone rage’.

ON THIS DAY IN THE ’90S . . .
1993    [07] Actress Michelle Pfeiffer weds producer David E Kelley (“Ally McBeal”, “The Practice”)
1997    [03] Colorado Rockies Larry Walker (Maple Ridge BC) wins NL MVP
1999    [01] Lennox Lewis gets unanimous decision over Evander Holyfield to become undisputed heavyweight boxing champion

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1875    [125] Harvard vs Yale in 1st football game with teams in uniforms (previously play-by-play was more difficult — “and the guy with the clump of mud on his nose throws it to the other guy with the untied shoelace and he’s tackled by . . .)
1946    [54] 1st ‘artificial snow’ for skiing (Vincent Schaeffer-Mt Greylock MA)
1952    [48] 1st ‘press-on nails’

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Operation Room Nurse Day
[Wed] National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day

BULL’S BITS . . .
THIS WEEK is “National Geography Awareness Week”, so here’s a little BS refresher . . .
• What city is located closest to the geographic centre of North America? [Winnipeg]
• What does the Canadian Shield curve around? [Hudson Bay]
• The Cordillera region separates which province from the rest of Canada? [British Columbia]
• 7 out of Canada’s 15 most populated cities are in which province? [Ontario]
• Which animal is an official emblem of Canada? [The beaver, since 1975]
• On which coin does the maple leaf appear? [Between 1876 and 1901, it appeared on all Canadian coins. Nowadays, the penny.]
(Sources: Quia Corporation educational Website, “About Canada” Website)

BS TAG LINE: It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner.


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