Wednesday, November 12, 2008        Edition: #3899
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

Billy Ray Cyrus says President-elect Barack Obama’s daughters Malia (10) & Sasha (7) have been invited to appear on “Hannah Montana” (Disney Channel) in an episode to air next year and he thinks they ‘probably will’ (‘Cookie Monster’ will be steamed – he was hoping for first dibs) . . . A teary-eyed Guy Ritchie has been reunited with his sons for the first time since his split with Madonna; 7-year-old Rocco and 2-year-old adopted David Banda flying to Britain but Lourdes, Madonna’s 12-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, didn’t make the trip (guess who’s side she’s on?) . . . This week former “The Hills” stars Heidi & Spencer are filming an episode of “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) that will air in January (just a warning) . . . Britney Spears has just nabbed a “People’s Choice Awards” nomination for her guest stint on the show earlier this year (yeah, what an actress!) . . . And asked what would fix “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC) after the uproar over Brooke Smith (‘Dr Erica Hahn‘) being fired, previously axed actor Isaiah Washington tells “TV Guide” they should ‘bring Burke back’ (this ingenious idea was likely fostered by the fact that he’s currently starring in – nothing).

• Ben Stiller – His contribution to show biz is honored at the Museum of the Moving Image’s 24th annual black-tie salute in NYC. MOMI cites Stiller as ‘one of the great talents of American entertainment’. Previous recipients include Dustin Hoffman, Robert De Niro, and Tom Cruise.
• “CMA Awards” (ABC/CityTV) – Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood co-host the 42nd Country Music Association Awards in Nashville. Kenny Chesney leads nominations with 7, Including ‘Entertainer Of the Year’. Performers include Alan Jackson, Brooks & Dunn, Eagles, George Strait, Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, Kid Rock, Miranda Lambert, Sugarland, and Taylor Swift. Last year this was the 3rd-highest-rated awards show behind the Oscars and the Grammys.
• Chris Noth – “Sex & The City’s” ‘Mr Big’ (who recently quit his role on NBC-TV’s “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”) is the latest screen star to take to the stage on Broadway, debuting in Beau Willimon’s thriller “Farragut North”.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Brit singer Dido is on.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Miley Cyrus & her pop Billy Ray promote the “CMA Awards” with a performance outside the Sommet Center in Nashville.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Country singer/”Dancing With the Stars” performer  Julianne Hough is scheduled.
• Metallica – Drummer Lars Ulrich auctions a Jean-Michel Basquiat painting from his art collection that could set a new sales record for the artist, according to Christie’s. Ulrich collects contemporary art, 20th-century design and tribal art.
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – Beyoncé (“If I Were a Boy”) is a guest.
• Prince of Wales’ 60th Birthday Celebration – Prince Charles’ landmark birthday (actual date is November 14th) is celebrated with the London theater production “We Are Most Amused”. Among those taking the stage will be American comic Robin Williams, John Cleese (“Monty Python”) and Rowan Atkinson (“Mr Bean”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Beck (“Gamma Ray”) performs.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Alicia Keys is the guest.

• Bon Jovi – A 37-year-old British woman is suing them, alleging a crew member ran her over with a golf cart during a 2006 UK gig, leaving her seriously injured. (Which she apparently just noticed.)
• Britney Spears – Her youngest son, 2-year-old Jayden, has now been checked out of the Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center, his weekend ‘seizure’ now thought to be a ‘bad reaction’ to something he ingested. (Cheetos?)
• Eminem – According to an insider his upcoming comeback album will most likely be delayed until the first quarter of next year, because he’s a ‘perfectionist and completely obsessive-compulsive’ about the project. (BS translation: It’s not going well.)
• LeAnn Rimes – She’s starring in a new Lifetime Original Movie called “Nora Roberts’ Northern Lights” to be released next year. She plays a feisty bush pilot in Lunacy, Alaska who’s the love interest for the town’s new police chief.
• Maroon 5 – They’re coming out with an album of remixes entitled “Call and Response”, featuring the production handiwork of Pharrell, Tiesto, Kanye West, Mark Ronson, and more.
• Tim McGraw – He’s lined up to host “Saturday Night Live” (NBC) on November 22nd.

A volunteer organization in Norway is encouraging people to test their drinking limits before the holiday season so they don’t embarrass themselves at Christmas parties. (They want people to not only see how many drinks they can handle, but practise singing ‘Rudolph’ loudly and off-key while wearing antlers … without looking stupid.)
– Reuters

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … research conducted in 39 countries proves the old adage that the more you make, the more you want. And furthermore, sudden wealth results in less happiness, not more. (Well, no danger of us becoming sad working in this joint.)
• Scientists say … university grads lead healthier lives than high school dropouts, according to figures from Stats Canada. (Wait a minute … ever been to a frat party?)
• Scientists say … when people blush, their stomach lining turns red, too. (How’d they find this out? “Look, he’s embarrassed … hurry, cut him open!”)

• “Some women can’t handle the truth.”
• “It saves disappointment.”
• “To delay the inevitable.”
• “It’s empowering.”
• “It can be fun.”
• “Out of fear.”
• “It’s easier.”

Analysis of a half-million insurance claims by Admiral Insurance has found that female drivers are almost twice as likely as men to have an accident in a parking lot, 23% more likely to hit a parked car, and 15% more likely to back into another vehicle. However, male drivers have more serious accidents, kill more pedestrians, and make more costly insurance claims. The study also shows that men are involved in a whopping 98% of convictions for dangerous driving. (But if you wanna be safe in a mall parking lot … get a guy to drive.)

Ever wondered how many people are stupid enough to fall for spam emails? The answer is 1 in 12.5 million, according to a new study. Researchers managed to hack into the infamous Storm network, which uses hijacked home computers to clog up inboxes worldwide. As an experiment, fake spam was sent to unwitting recipients and after a whopping 350 million emails, only 28 ‘sales’ resulted … a response rate of less than 0.00001%. That translates into revenue of just $100 a day. (On behalf of all of us who are sick of shoveling spam, thanks for hitting us up another 350 million times, you morons!)
– BBC News

Think you can sleep with just any old thing under your head? Experts say you should think again! Witness …
• Extra-firm pillows are best for those who sleep on their side. Make sure the height of the pillow is roughly the same as the distance between your neck and the end of your shoulder.
• Medium-to-firm pillows are best for back sleepers. These provide support without tilting your head too far forward or allowing it to tilt too far back.
• Medium-to-soft pillows are best for stomach sleepers. The risk for a stomach sleeper is that his or her head will be pushed up and back, putting stress on the neck and spine.
– Knight Ridder News

• The refrigerator is opened 22 times per day in the average home (and that’s just between NHL periods!)
• Garage sales have become the 2nd-most-common method of getting rid of things people don’t want. (As you know, the most common method is … divorce.)

1944 [64] Al Michaels, Brooklyn NY, TV sportscaster (“NBC Sunday Night Football”, “ABC Monday Night Football” 1986-2006)/National Sportscasters & Sportswriters Association Hall of Fame (1998)/5 Emmy Awards for Outstanding Play-by-Play Host/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2004)

1945 [63] Neil Young, Toronto ON (raised Winnipeg MB), classic rocker (“Heart of Gold”, Crosby Stills Nash &Young-“Woodstock”)/Farm Aid co-founder/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2000)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1995, 1997-Buffalo Springfield)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1982)

1980 [28] Ryan Gosling, London ON (raised Cornwall ON), movie actor (“Lars & the Real Girl”, “The Notebook”)

1982 [26] Anne Hathaway, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (“Get Smart”, “The Princess Diaries”)  COMING UP: Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” (2010).

1984 [24] Omarion (Omari Ishmael Grandberry), Inglewood CA, R&B singer (f/Timbaland-“Ice Box”, B2K-“Bump, Bump, Bump”)/movie actor (“Feel the Noise”, “You Got Served”)

• “Birth of Baha’u’llah”, a holy day in the Baha’i faith.
• “Birth of Sun Yat-Sen“, a national holiday in China and Taiwan.

• “Family Stories Month”, a good excuse to ask an older person to tell you a fascinating story about his or her youth … if you’ve got several hours to burn.

• “International Best Bottom Contest” in Paris, France. Regional winners from 32 countries compete for the title of most beautiful behind. The male and female winners star in a global ad campaign for Sloggi underwear (“Show us your Sloggi!”) and pocket a 15,000 Euro prize (about $20,000).

• “Pizza With the Works Except Anchovies Day”. The word ‘pizza’ comes from the Latin word ‘picea’ which the Romans used to describe the blackening of bread in an oven. The world’s first true pizzeria, Antica Pizzeria Port’Alba, opened in 1830 and is still in business today in Naples, Italy. An Italian immigrant named Gennaro Lombardi opened the first North American pizzeria in 1895 in NYC. Pizza is now consumed all over the world … with or without anchovies!

• “World Kindness Week”, sponsored by the non-profit Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. It involves tens of thousands of volunteers and school children taking part in local ‘kindness’ events in more than 5,000 communities and 35 countries.

1910 [98] 1st ‘Movie Stunt’ (a jump into Hudson River from a burning balloon)

1951 [57] ‘National Ballet of Canada’, founded by Celia Franca, gives 1st performance (Toronto)

2004 [04] Pieces of the original 1923 ‘Hollywood’ sign (the ‘H’, ‘W’ and ‘Y’) are auctioned on eBay

1988 [20] U2’s “Rattle & Hum” hits #1 on album charts and remains 6 weeks

1998 [10] Backstreet Boys’ self-titled album is certified 8-times Platinum

1745 [263] 1st ‘Happy Hour’, in a pub in Ireland (2-for-1 drinks and all the potatoes you can eat)

1931 [77] Maple Leaf Gardens opens in Toronto as the new home of the NHL’s Maple Leafs (vacated when the Air Canada Centre opens in 1999)

1973 [35] 1st ‘ATM’ installed, at a Chemical Bank in NYC (only function is to dispense cash from credit cards)

1983 [25] ‘Cabbage Patch Dolls’ debut and quickly become the holiday season must-have

1955 [53] Washington State and San Jose State play a college football game in front of the lowest paid attendance on record – one person

1967 [41] Detroit Lions set an NFL record by fumbling the ball 11 times (and losing it 5 times)

[Thurs] Guinness World Record Day 2008
[Thurs] 9th Latin Grammy Awards (Houston)
[Thurs] Mix It Up at Lunch Day
[Thurs] Beaver Moon (Full Moon of November)
[Fri] World Diabetes Day
[Fri] Educational Support Personnel Day
[Sat] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Sun] Transgender Day of Remembrance
[Sun] World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims
This Week Is … Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week
This Month Is … Pomegranate Month

• You own – and actually wear – a pair of pajamas.
• Your potted plants stay alive.
• You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
• 6 am is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
• You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
• A $4 bottle of wine is no longer ‘pretty good stuff’.

I was nothing until I got this job. I’m still nothing, but now I get paid for it.

• What’s the official name of the dot above the letter ‘I’ or ‘j’?
a) Snarf.
b) Tittle. [CORRECT]
c) Obfuscation.

• Artist Cassius Marcellus Coolidge is most famous for painting what?
a) Poker-playing dogs. [CORRECT. He painted 16 poker-dog paintings.]
b) Velvet Elvises.
c) Houses.

• What does the ‘WD’ in the oil product ‘WD-40′ stand for?
a) Waste Diesel.
b) Wonder Dislodge.
c) Water Displacement. [CORRECT. The ‘40′ is for the number of tries it took to perfect it.]

Today’s Question: If you are married with children you are 7% more likely to have one of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A dog. (Just ask Obama.)

When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.

BS salutes Keith Ellert @ The Rush [CKRW] Whitehorse, Yukon who’s reupped for another year of service (that’s year #8!); and welcome to these discerning newbies downloading BS this week: Melody Judge @ 1650 The Fan [KCNZ] Cedar Falls IA; Winnie Smail @ WJBM Jerseyville IL; Kavir @ Tuks FM, Pretoria, South Africa; Ally @ Beetle FM, Brutown UK; Helsa Sukasah @ Dahlia FM 101.5, Bandung, Indonesia; James Gonzorba @  KBKO Santa Barbara CA; and Leia @ Fizz FM, Richmond UK. Welcome all!

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