Thursday, November 6, 2008        Edition: #3895
Touch Your Screen – This BS Is Still Warm!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Tim Kring, creator-executive producer of “Heroes” (NBC), is promising to simplify what’s become an overly complex storytelling structure and get back to the show’s comic-bookish good vs evil theme (will that get you to watch again?) . . . Since actress  Drew Barrymore broke up with him, actor Justin Long (“Zack & Miri“) seems to have lowered his standards, reportedly dating party girl Kirsten Dunst off & on and most recently, trampy bisexual Tila Tequila (afterward he used hand sanitizer – as a body spray) . . . Actress Charlize Theron has settled a $20-million breach-of-contract lawsuit out of court, for committing the horrific offence of wearing a Christian Dior watch in public after being paid ‘substantial funds’ to exclusively wear Raymond Weil timepieces (the suit will be dropped if the undisclosed terms of the settlement are completed within 30 days – what could that be?) . . . Jemaine Clement from “Flight Of the Conchords” (HBO) is now daddy to a new baby son who’s unfortunately been named ‘Sophocles Iraia Manasiadis Clement’ (no BS!) . . . And if you believe “Star Magazine”, 39-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston is getting ready to be mom to twins via 31-year-old singer John Mayer after a string of ‘secret fertility treatments’ (is that what they’re calling it these days?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Grey’s Anatomy“ (ABC/CTV) – Actor Jeffrey Dean Morgan returns even though his character, ‘Izzie’s’ former patient-BF ‘Denny Duquette’, died at the end of Season 2. It’s his 2nd guest appearance THIS SEASON and his 5th (usually in flashbacks) since dying of a stroke following his heart transplant in 2006.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – TI (“Whatever You Like“) somehow manages to perform and appear on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) at the same time. Great talent booking!
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Rapper Q-Tip performs material from “The Renaissance”.
• MTV Europe Music Awards – Katy Perry (“I Kissed a Girl”) hosts the annual video accolades being staged this year in Liverpool UK. Coldplay and Duffy lead nominations with 3 apiece; Perry herself is nominated for ‘Best New Act’ and ‘Most Addictive Track’.
• “Pain Movie Lot” – The new PlayStation 3 videogame is released in which players get to smash, bash, or trash celebs from singer Celine Dion to pseudo-star David Hasselhoff (“America’s Got Talent”, “Baywatch”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Former “American Idol” David Archuleta is on, promoting his debut album cleverly titled “David Archuleta”.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Merle Haggard – The 71-year-old country legend is recovering after having a malignant tumor successfully removed from his lung at Bakersfield CA Memorial Hospital. He’s said to be in stable condition.
• U2 – Producer Daniel Lanois just finished 2 weeks of recording in NYC on their highly anticipated next album and has another 10 days slotted for studio work in London. So how’s it sounding? “Fantastically innovative,” says Lanois. “Some of their best work.” Well what’s he gonna say?

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
• “Little Ashes” – Rob Pattinson, who can be seen in the new vampire horror picture “Twilight” (opening NOVEMBER 21st), has the lead role in this upcoming indie bio-pic about late surrealist artist Salvador Dali. The story of the droopy-watch painter is set in 1920s Madrid, Spain and centers on his relationship with Spanish poet & dramatist Federico Garcia Lorca.
• “Pirates Of the Caribbean 4“ – Reports say UK comedian Russell Brand could get upwards of $10 million to play the brother of Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) in the series’ next installment. 33-year-old Russell, who hosted THIS YEAR’s “MTV Video Music Awards”, quit his BBC Radio 2 show LAST WEEK over his controversial prank calls to an elderly Brit actor. He previously appeared in the comedy film “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” earlier this year.
• “Spider-Man 4“ – If you, like many, thought “Spider-Man 3“ was incredibly stupid, don’t think writer/director Sam Raimi hasn’t learned a lesson. The next installment will be penned by Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire. In his supposedly esoteric play, “Rabbit Hole”, the lead character danced The Twist with Kirsten Dunst following the accidental death of her 4-year-old son, then cooked some eggs. Hmm, odds are there won’t be a “Spider-Man 5“.
• “The Three Stooges” – The vaudeville antics of the vintage slapstick trio are being given new life in a Farrelly Brothers (“There’s Something About Mary”) feature coming NEXT YEAR. This modern-day version will in part portray Curly, Larry & Moe as children. The flick will be broken down into four 20-minute shorts, mimicking the comedy pioneers’ most common format from the 1930s through the 1950s. No casting has yet been announced.

WHEN CARS FLY:
A Sacramento CA firm that manufactures aircraft which take off and land vertically, is now building a car that can fly. Moller International’s ‘Autovolantor’ will be a Ferrari 599 GTB outfitted with retractable wings, 8 fan thrusters, and a booster. It will fly at altitudes up to 2,500 ft, achieve speeds up to 150 mph in the air or 100 mph on the ground, and have a range of 75 miles airborne or 150 miles on land. The fans will push the car up while vents make it fly forward and backward. Moller plans to introduce the car to the market in about 2 years. The prototype currently under construction will cost – whoa! – $3 million!
NET: http://www.moller.com
– AHN

BS WAYS TO CALM DOWN AN ANGRY WOMAN:
• Whatever you do, don’t also get angry.
• Don’t try to win an argument by feeding her facts.
• If you’re wrong, just admit it.
• Tune in and listen to what she’s trying to say.
• Make eye contact, it shows you’re listening.
• Ask questions, it implies you’re trying to understand and want to listen to her more.
• Take a walk together, it’s a calming activitiy.
• Use the magic phrases: ‘Yes, I agree’; ‘You’re right’; and ‘I’m sorry’.
• Set limits. If her rage is too melodramatic and too frequent give her exactly 2 chances to change.
– Condensed from “Men’s Health”.

BOAT FOR SALE:
A luxury yacht that once belonged to late Iraq president Saddam Hussein has failed to attract much interest from buyers. The 270-foot ‘Ocean Breeze’, built in 1981, features gold bathroom fittings, a helicopter pad, and a secret escape passage (handy for dictators on the run). It’s been moored off the French resort of Nice for the past few months as the Iraqi government continues to seek a buyer. Given the current economic climate it may be the asking price that’s the problem … circa $30 million.
– Reuters

WHY SMALL WEDDINGS ARE BACK:
Intimate wedding ceremonies with double-digit guest lists (à la Scarlett Johansson & Ryan Reynolds’ nuptials in British Columbia) are becoming a trend. A few reasons why scaled-down celebrations are becoming the next big thing for brides-to-be (or is that next small thing?) …
• They’re all about the bride. When there are only 25-to-50 guests, everyone’s eyes are on her.
• When you keep the numbers down, you’re more likely to be able to afford a designer dress, exotic location, stunning flowers, and amazing band.
• The smaller the bash, the lower the stress level.
• You have more fun. The post-ceremony party becomes just that … a party.
• It gives you an excuse to invite only those you really care about.
• Your fiancé will thank you.
– Condensed from “Cosmopolitan”.

NEITHER SNOW NOR RAIN … NOR WALKING:
The US Postal Service has begun pilot testing the use of a 3-wheeled electric vehicle to deliver mail in Key West, Florida to reduce its carbon footprint. The ‘T3′ is similar to the 2-wheeled  Segway personal transporter, but has mail compartments on its sides, pulls a small trailer, and is equipped with GPS and solar-powered anti-theft alarm. The one-person vehicle runs at 12 mph; its rechargeable battery has a range of 40 miles.
NET: http://www.t3motion.com
– “Miami Herald”

NO MAN WANTS AN ISLAND UNTO HIMSELF:
For anyone who wants to escape the rat race and still has some money in the bank, the current economic storm clouds have a silver lining. The ultimate retreat – a private island – is becoming more affordable as sellers from the Caribbean to the coast of Scotland slash prices. The cuts follow 2 decades in which many islands increased sharply in value as the economy boomed.
– “Sunday Telegraph”

DID YOU KNOW?
• Thanks to the worldwide economic crisis, the number of billionaires in China has nosedived from 66 in 2007 to just 24.
– “The Guardian”
• Attractive men earn 5% more than average, while ugly men earn 9% less.
– “Curious Times”
• It’s estimated there currently are as many as 1 million bits of space junk in orbit, including broken spacecraft pieces, nuts & bolts … and frozen astronaut waste.
– “Daily Mail”

BS CHRONOMETER 11.06.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [62] Sally Field (Mahoney), Pasadena CA, TV actress (“Brothers & Sisters” since 2006)/movie actress (2 Oscars-“Norma Rae”, “Places In the Heart”)

1948 [60] Glen Frey, Detroit MI, classic rock musician (“The Heat is On”, The Eagles-“How Long”, “Hotel California”)

1955 [53] Maria Shriver, Chicago IL, Mrs Arnold Schwarzenegger since 1986/former TV journalist (“Dateline NBC” 1994-2004)/First Lady of California (2003-11)

1970 [38] Ethan Hawke, Austin TX, movie actor (“Fast Food Nation”, “Training Day”)/formerly wed to actress Uma Thurman (1998-2004)

1972 [36] Rebbeca Romijn (pronounced ‘Romaine’ like the lettuce), Berkeley CA, movie actress (“X-Men: The Last Stand”)/TV actress (“Ugly Betty” 2007-08)/model (“Vogue”)/formerly wed to actor John Stamos (1998-2005)

1972 [36] Thandie Newton, London UK, movie actress (“W”, “RocknRolla”)/TV actress (“ER” 2003-05)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Halfway Point of Autumn”, marking the point when the [local losers] are officially out of the [NHL/NBA] playoffs. With 88 days between the September 23rd Equinox and the December 21st Solstice, we are considered halfway through Fall in the Northern Hemisphere and Spring in the Southern Hemisphere on this day.

• “Men Make Dinner Day”, the 1 guaranteed meal cooked by the man-of-the-house each year. Sure millions of guys make dinner for their families on a regular basis, but this day is for the last remaining neanderthal homes where they don’t.
NET: http://www.menmakedinnerday.com

• “Saxophone Day”, commemorating the 1814 birth of Belgium’s Adolphe Sax, inventor of the musical instrument named for him. Sax became wealthy inventing numerous musical instruments, but died in poverty in Paris in 1894. Awww!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1947 [61] 1st edition of “Meet The Press” (NBC), now the oldest program on TV

2001 [07] Keifer Sutherland’s hit series “24” debuts (FOX)  FACTOID: The 7th season begins JANUARY 11th.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1991 [17] Novelty hit “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred is released

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1867 [141] 1st ‘Parliament of Canada’ opens (the next day, Québec starts whining)

1889 [119] Eiffel Tower opens in Paris (built for an exposition, there’s popular support to tear the ‘eyesore’ down afterward and it almost happens)

1925 [83] ‘Royal Canadian Legion’ established (because vets need a place with cheap booze)
NET: http://legion.ca/Poppy/campaign_e.cfm (info on annual poppy program)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1993 [15] ‘Largest ‘PB & J Sandwich’ is made in Peanut PA (40-feet-long with 150 lbs of peanut butter & 50 lbs of grape jelly)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] World Community Day
[Sat] 2008 Directors Guild of Canada Awards (Toronto)
[Sat] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Sat] Parents As Teachers Day
[Sat] International Tongue Twister Day
[Sun] US Marine Corp Birthday
[Sun] Gingerbread House Day
This Week is … Dear Santa Letter Week
This Month Is … Military Family Appreciation Month

BULL’S BITS
BS ‘NEXT BIG THINGS’:
• The ‘Screw Tibet’ movement.
• Microbrew mouthwash.
• Faux-varicose vein fishnets.
• Celebrity drug mules.
• ‘Balkan Chic’.
• Lamb vindaloo lip gloss.
• Leather socks.
• Tongue extensions.
• Gangsta nuns.
• Clothing-optional line dancing.
– Chickenhead.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which cleaning project do you most dread taking on?

FIND THE BS:
Some of these are real past or present musical acts, some are total BS. Which are which?
• Courtney’s Love Shack [REAL]
• Leisure Suit Zombies [REAL]
• Dentistry Before Novocaine [BS]
• Skank Divas [BS]
• All Hat No Cattle [BS]
• The Effin Band [REAL]
• Spinal Sap [BS]
• Rope Ladder to Hades [BS]
• The She Mullets [BS]
• Full Metal Jackie O [REAL]

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Everyone has said “It tastes like crap” but only a select few really know what they are talking about.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The older we get the more we are attracted to THIS feature in another person.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Blond hair. (Any color but white for that matter.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Today is the last day of your life so far.


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