Thursday, November 13, 2008        Edition: #3900
Thanks a Sheetload for Choosing “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
A woman who was reportedly stalking “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul has been found dead in a parked car near Abdul’s Sherman Oaks CA home (it’s unclear if she’d been listening to Paula’s comeback attempt, “Dance Like There’s No Tomorrow”) . . . 42-year-old actor Adam Sandler (“Big Daddy”) & 34-year-old wife Jackie have welcomed a 2nd child, a baby girl named ‘Sunny Madeline’ (tame by Hollywood standards) . . . Director Baz Luhrmann is still editing his epic film “Australia”, starring Nicole Kidman & Hugh Jackman, just days before its world premiere in Sydney next Tuesday (after 4 years and $130 million, you’d think he might be ready) . . . 42-year-old sometime actor Stephen Baldwin, weirdest of the Baldwin brothers, has a new tattoo featuring the initials of ‘Hannah Montana’ (creepy!) because 15-year-old Miley Cyrus promised him a cameo on her show if he had it done (are we hard-up for gigs?) . . . Donald Trump has been housing grief-stricken Jennifer Hudson and some of her relatives at the Trump International Hotel & Tower free of charge as she attempts to recover from her recent family tragedy (who woulda thought ‘The Donald’ had a heart?) . . . And who knows why but Paris Hilton has landed another movie role, this time in director Todd Solondz’s as-yet-untitled project about a group of dysfunctional characters that’s already shooting in San Juan, Puerto Rico (he must have been impressed by her almost-totally-edited-out work in the now-showing dud “Repo! The Genetic Opera”).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Billy Elliot the Musical” – It’s opening night in NYC at Broadway’s Imperial Theater. Elton John composed the music for this stage musical which became a huge hit in London.
• “ER” (NBC/CTV) – An episode entitled “Heal Thyself” brings back ‘Dr Mark Greene’ (Anthony Edwards) even though he died back in 2002. He’ll be appearing in multiple flashback scenes.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC) – Classic rocker Boz Scaggs is a guest.
• Latin Grammy Awards – The 9th trophies for Hispanic music are handed out in Houston TX.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Miley Cyrus is on.
• Ryan O’Neal – The 67-year-old actor and his 23-year-old son Redmond are scheduled to go on trial in LA for possession of methamphetamine.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Sarah McLachlan (“Closer”) performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aretha Franklin – The ‘Queen of Soul’ has been named the ‘Greatest Singer of the Rock Era’ in a new poll by “Rolling Stone” magazine. (Now that’s “Respect”!)
• Guns N’ Roses – In the latest promotional hype for “Chinese Democracy” (out November 23rd), fans are being encouraged to upload an ‘inappropriate air guitar’ video to YouTube. The best gets to take 100 friends (yes, 100) to a “Chinese Democracy” listening party in Britain.
• Janet Jackson – She claims her previous label Def Jam tried to shape her into something she isn’t, which caused her to part ways with the company in September. (They had outlandish demands, like actually showing up for concerts and stuff.)
• Jonas Bros – 19-year-old Joe Jonas, who famously dumped country singer Taylor Swift by phone, has moved on to dating 22-year-old actress Camilla Belle (“10,000 BC”). They met on the set of the Jonas Brothers video for “Lovebug” in which she had a role.
• Madonna – She’s reportedly issued a list of a dozen demands that estranged husband Guy Ritchie must adhere to while their sons are with him in London. It includes a ban on TV, non-organic food, and clothes not sent by her.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
• “An Invisible Sign Of My Own” – Jessica Alba plays a brilliant mathematician (Oscar-worthy if she can make that believable) who intentionally withdraws from life after her father is diagnosed with a crippling disease. When she gets a job as math teacher at an elementary school, she discovers she has an unorthodox talent for teaching and finds herself a new life. The film is now shooting in NYC.
• “Gulliver’s Travels” – Jack Black is on board to star in a new film version of Jonathan Swift’s 1726 novel about a travel writer who washes ashore on the island of ‘Lilliput’. A mix of live action and computer animation is expected for the new film, which will be the latest in a long line of adaptations. Shooting is scheduled to start in March.
• “Karate Kid” – Will Smith’s 10-year-old son Jaden has landed his first major role in the upcoming remake of the 1984 hit film that starred Ralph Macchio. He previously acted alongside his dad in the 2006 film “The Pursuit of Happyness”. But what we really want to know is, with Pat Morita having passed away in 2005, who will be the new ‘Mr Miyagi’?
• “Monopoly” – Director Ridley Scott (“Gladiator”) will helm a bizarre bigscreen adaptation of the popular board game. According to the “Hollywood Reporter”, Ridley will give the movie a futuristic edge akin to his 1982 epic “Blade Runner”. The unlikely subject matter is just one in a line of Hasbro games to get bigscreen makeovers as part of an exclusive pairing with Universal Studios. “Transformers” filmmaker Michael Bay is producing a “Ouija Board” feature and a film version of the game “Battleship” is also in development.
• “Shrek 4” – Paul McCartney is voicing a character and writing a song for the latest instalment of the hit animated franchise, and has arranged for daughter Beatrice to sing back-up vocals on the track so she also gets a credit. Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, and Antonio Banderas will all return in the voice cast for the 2010 release.
• “Suck” – This upcoming vampire satire about a group of rock star wannabes in search of immortality and a record deal will feature some real-life rockers such as Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Moby, and Iggy Pop. The film also stars veteran Hollywood actor Malcolm McDowell (“A Clockwork Orange”, “Halloween”).

A FORTUNE FOUND:
Today a painting by the late American modern art master Jackson Pollock, bought for $5 in a thrift store, goes on sale in Toronto with an asking price of … $50 million US. It will remain on display at Gallery Delisle in east Toronto through November 27th. Teri Horton, a 76-year-old retired truck driver who lives in a mobile home in Costa Mesa CA, bought the painting in 1992 as a gag gift. She’s selling it in Canada because US experts refuse to support its forensic authentication. (Well it is kind of kindergarten, if you ask us.)
– CBC Arts News

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• In Turkey, the mayor of the city of Batman is suing “The Dark Knight” movie producers for using his municipality’s name without permission. Huseyin Kalkan says he’s prepping a series of charges against Warner Bros, including responsibility for several unsolved murders and a high female suicide rate due to the psychological impact the film’s success has had on his city’s inhabitants. He has no explanation for why it’s taken so many years to take legal action. After all, ‘Batman’ first appeared as a comic book character in 1939. (The billion-dollar box office?)
– “Variety”
• In Brazil, police say a woman has died on the way to a cemetery after a traffic accident hurled her husband’s coffin against the back of her neck. 67-year-old Marciana Silva Barcelos was in the front passenger seat of the hearse when the accident occurred in the state of Rio Grande do Sul. She died instantly. (On the upside, she got a really good deal on a burial.)
– MSNBC
• In Arizona, about 800 small dogs (that’s right – eight HUNDRED), including Chihuahuas, terriers and Pomeranians, have been seized from a triple-wide mobile home whose occupants became overwhelmed trying to care for the animals. Pima County sheriff’s deputies and animal welfare officials who removed the dogs also found 82 caged parrots in the home in a rural area northwest of Tucson.
– AP
• In British Columbia, two men in Victoria have been arrested for smoking crack in their car. It wasn’t too hard to find them, as the losers made the brilliant decision to park in the police department parking lot. (At least they didn’t have far to walk.)
– Canada.com

WE SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING:
Psychics are doing booming business thanks to the turmoil in the marketplace. One online psychic brags he can make up to $200 a day when people become depressed about money. Professor Gita Johar of the Columbia Business School says the upturn in the psychic biz happens every time the economy takes a hit. Whenever the future is uncertain, people turn to psychics, he says. Why? People want the illusion of control.
– Wired.com

RECYCLING MYTHS DEBUNKED:
• We Have to Recycle Because We’re Running out of Landfill Space: The truth is there are lots of municipalities eager for the revenues that a landfill site can bring.
• Trucks That Collect Recycling Burn More Energy than Recycling Saves: Collecting recyclables does use up energy, however, studies show it takes less than half the energy to reprocess products that already exist compared to manufacturing new products.
• Cities Are Getting Rich Selling Recyclables: Prices for recyclables have hit record highs but most municipalities are locked into long-term contracts and aren’t getting a cut of the action.
• Recyclables Have to Be Painstakingly Sorted by Hand: Machines now do most of the dirty work. State-of-the-art ‘single-stream’ facilities now feature magnets to attract steel and a host of other sorting technologies.
• Most Plastic Recyclables End Up in Landfills: It’s true that less than 1% of polystyrene containers (ie: yogurt cups) are currently recycled. But brand new technology is using infrared light to identify the chemical composition of plastic containers, meaning the ratio of plastic that gets recycled is about to quickly increase.
– “Popular Mechanics”

FOR THE RECORD:
After 2-and-a-half years, 40-year-old Joff (yes, Joff not Jeff) Summerfield has completed his quest to ride around-the-world on a unicycle. He’s visited 23 countries on 4 continents after setting off from 0 degrees longitude at the Greenwich Observatory in Britain. He averaged 11 mph and covered up to 40 miles a day during the trek. Unfortunately, it turns out he’s not the first to accomplish the feat. Some guy named Thomas Stevens did it back in 1887!
– “Telegraph”

BS AMAZING COFFEE FACTS:
• A cup of drip-brewed coffee has about 115 milligrams of caffeine; an espresso (and percolated coffee) 80 mg; instant coffee 65 mg. Decaffeinated coffee is not totally caffeine free, containing about 3 mg. Tea has about 40 mg of caffeine.
• The word ‘cappuccino’ comes from the 16th-century Capuchin order of friars, whose hoods were called cappuccinos.
– DidYouKnow.org

BS CHRONOMETER 11.13.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [54] Chris Noth, Madison WI, TV actor (‘Detective Mike Logan’ on “Law and Order: Criminal Intent” 2005-08, “Sex & the City” 1998-2004, “Law & Order” 1990-95)/movie actor (“Sex & The City”, “Cast Away”)

1955 [53] Whoopi Goldberg (Caryn Johnson), NYC, TV personality (“The View” since 2007, “Hollywood Squares” 1998-2002)/movie actress (“Sister Act”, “Ghost”)/one of only 13 people who have won an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a Tony Award

1967 [41] Jimmy Kimmel, Brooklyn NY, TV host (“Jimmy Kimmel Live” since 2003, “The Man Show” 1999-2003, “Win Ben Stein’s Money” 1997-2001)

1969 [39] Gerard Butler, Glasgow, Scotland, movie actor (“RocknRolla”, “300“)

1978 [30] Nikolai Fraiture, NYC, rock bassist (The Strokes-“Juicebox”, “Hard to Explain”)

1980 [28] Monique Coleman, Orangeburg SC, movie actress (‘Taylor McKessie’ in “High School Musical” films)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Beaver Moon”, the Full Moon of November which gets its name from olden days when it was time to set beaver traps before the swamps froze to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Also called the “Frosty Moon”.

• “Guinness World Record Day”, the annual day to celebrate record setting and record breaking around-the-globe. Among the events scheduled for today: The UK will host the largest gathering of superheros and the most people arm wrestling. In the US, the world’s largest dog wedding will be held, and daredevil Jackie Bibby will try to best his record for most rattlesnakes in the mouth.
NET: http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/gwrday/gwrday.aspx

• “Mix It Up at Lunch Day”, when kids in school cafeterias are encouraged to swap seats in order to bring together various cliques (jocks, geeks, goths, addicts, juvenile delinquents, etc), a project sponsored by the advocacy group Teaching Tolerance.
NET: http://www.tolerance.org/teens/lunch.jsp

• “Shallow Persons Awareness Week”, for all those people who believe beauty is only hair deep.
You know you’re shallow if you’ve ever worn out a mirror.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2000 [08] The Beatles release “1”, a 27-song compilation CD of #1 hits

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1875 [133] 1st football teams to wear uniforms, Harvard vs Yale (before this … naked?)

1946 [62] 1st ‘Artificial Snow’ created for skiing by Vincent Schaeffer at Mt Greylock, Massachusetts

1952 [56] 1st ‘Press-On Nails’ are marketed (handy for nail chewers who can now just eat ‘em out of the box)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [13] World’s only known ‘Green Cat’ is confirmed by a veterinary hospital in Copenhagen, Denmark, a condition vets say may be caused by a metabolism defect

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] World Diabetes Day
[Fri] Educational Support Personnel Day
[Fri] Operating Room Nurse Day
[Fri] Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day
[Sat] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Sat] America Recycles Day
[Sun] International Day for Tolerance
[Sun] Adoption Day
[Sun] Transgender Day of Remembrance
[Sun] World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims
This Week Is … Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week
This Month Is … Impotency Month

BULL’S BITS
CRAZY CANINE CROSSES:
The tongue-in-cheek ‘Canine Crossbreeders Association’ has come up with the following list of wacky breeding possibilities …
• If you cross a Bloodhound and a Labrador you get a ‘Blabador’, a dog that barks incessantly.
• A Pekinese and a Lhasa Apso – ‘Peekasso’, an abstract dog.
• A Collie and Malamute – ‘Commute’, a dog that travels well.
• A Deerhound and a Terrier – ‘Derriere’, a dog that’s a pain in the butt.
• A Labrador and a Curly-Coated Retriever – A ‘Lab Coat Retriever’, a favorite of scientists.
• A Collie and a Lhaso Apso – ‘Collapso’, a dog that folds up for easy transport.
• A Bloodhound and Borzoi – ‘Bloody Bore’, a dog that’s just not much fun.
• And if you cross a Pointer and a Setter you get a ‘Poinsetter’, a traditional Christmas pet.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Shoe stores get more requests for unique styles of footwear just before THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A Full Moon.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


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