Thursday, November 20, 2008        Edition: #3905
Sweet Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Starting next week, Britain’s BBC-TV will begin simulcasting online in an effort to keep up with rival network Channel 4 (according to UK media watchdog Ofcom, the number of people watching TV online has doubled in the past year) . . . Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is set to appear on “CSI: Miami” as a prosecutor in a 2-episode story arc expected to air this winter (ever see a DA in a white designer suit?) . . . Nitpickers note that the new ‘Bond’ movie “Quantum Of Solace” has at least 24 technical & factual mistakes littered throughout the film (the biggest of which is – the gawdawful title!) . . . Disney has announced it will release a series of 5 movies via giant-screen IMAX beginning with the 3-D film “A Christmas Carol”, starring Jim Carrey, in November 2009 (his mouth is gonna look like the Grand Canyon) . . . Former “Everybody Loves Raymond” actress Patricia Heaton is set to return to TV in the new comedy “The Middle”, playing the ‘stressed-out mom of a Midwestern family’ (well, that’s certainly a stretch, isn’t it?) . . .  Former “ER” star Noah Wyle (‘Dr John Carter’) says he’s heard that George Clooney will absolutely return to reprise his ‘Dr Doug Ross’ for the medical drama’s now-airing final season, ‘schedule permitting’, that is (no stone etched yet) . . . And Martha Stewart’s company is being sued for making a defective lounge chair that caused a ‘hand model’ to slice off a fingertip when moving it (next they’ll be sued by a ‘foot model’ who stubbed her toe).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Billboard Touring Awards“ – As well as the top-earning touring acts of ‘08, Bon Jovi’s Philadelphia Soul Charitable Foundation is honored with a ‘Humanitarian Award’ at the 2008 ceremony in NYC.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Miley Cyrus is a guest.
• Jane’s Addiction – They play at the relatively tiny El Cid club in the Silver Lake area of Los Angeles, adding more fuel to the rumor that a potential reunion tour is in the works.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Panic At The Disco guests.
• “Late Night With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Beach Boys founder Brian Wilson is on.
• Tim Rice – The 64-year-old British lyricist (“Aladdin”, “The Lion King”) receives the 2,375th star on the ‘Hollywood Walk of Fame’ as he’s inducted by Disney Studios chairman Dick Cook.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Jack Black’s Tenacious D performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Eurythmics – Dave Stewart has likely become the first musician to endorse a line of … vibrators. His special edition ‘Little Something’ model from JimmyJane comes with a free download of his specially created tune, “Let’s Do It Again”. (“Sweet Dreams”!)
• Fergie – She’s put diet & exercise plans on hold because she has to return to the set of movie musical “Nine” to shoot extra scenes in December. She was hoping to quickly shed the 13 lbs she piled on for the role but now needs to maintain the same look … for the sake of continuity. (Ah, a new excuse for us all!)
• K-os – The Canadian hip-hop artist is uploading fragments of new music online (know as ‘stems’) which he’s encouraging fans to remix for his next album “Yes!”.  The 11 best remixes, one per album track, each receive $1,000. (Far cheaper than hiring a bigtime producer!)
• Luke Bryan – The country singer’s single, “All My Friends Say”, is being attached to packs of Miller Lite beer as part of a year-long sponsorship deal. The agreement includes on-pack product placement, touring, contests and downloads.
• Michael Jackson – His lawyer says the King of Pop might be ‘too sick’ to travel to London to testify in a lawsuit claiming he owes an Arab sheik $7 million. (What a surprise.)
• U2 – Producer Daniel Lanois says “rock ‘n’ roll has been reinvented one more time” on their next album, due in early ‘09. The project is rumored to be titled “No Line On The Horizon”.

FUTURE FLICKS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “American Tragic” – “Ugly Betty” star America Ferrera is exec producing and co-starring in this indie film about the Iraq War, playing the wife of a soldier (Ryan O’Nan) who has trouble readjusting to civilian life when he returns home. Shooting’s scheduled to begin in February in New Mexico. (Having your state stand in for the bleak Iraqi countryside … what a slam!)
• “Nutty Professor 3” – Yet another sequel to the 1996 comedy remake is in the early stages of development. Eddie Murphy already returned in the role once in the 2000 film “Nutty Professor II: The Klumps”. The original 1963 movie starred Jerry Lewis. So far, Murphy is not attached to the latest incarnation; his involvement contingent on the writer, director and other elements. (BS translation: How much you payin’?)
• “X-Men: First Class” – “Gossip Girl” creator Josh Schwartz has been hired to write the latest instalment of the superhero series in an effort to inject a next-gen sensibility to the series. It’s expected younger characters such as ‘Iceman’, ‘Rogue’, ‘Angel’, ‘Colossus’, ‘Jubilee’ and ‘Shadowcat’ will take on larger roles as well as new teenage characters with powers taught at the ‘Xavier Institute for Higher Learning’. (Power texting?)

SCIENTISTS SAY …
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … unhappy people watch more TV and do less socializing than happy people, according to new research at the University of Maryland. (Well no sheet, Sherlock. If they had a social life, they wouldn’t be sitting home watching TV!)
• Scientists say … size matter when it comes to all-you-can-eat buffets. Large people are more likely to use the larger plates and serve themselves immediately instead of first browsing the various options. (“I’m getting a big chunk of that roast beef before it’s all gone!”)
• Scientists say … the left and right nostrils give the brain different messages. For instance, University of California researchers found that most volunteers find the scent of lemon more pleasant when sniffed through the right nostril. (Unless, of course, they’re left-nosed.)
• Scientists say … sperm that makes boy babies is generally smaller than sperm that makes girl babies. (That’s because it’s diminished from swimming around lost and refusing to ask for directions.)

AND THE RICH GET POORER:
The economic downturn in the USA is so bleak that even the relatively wealthy are trimming unnecessary spending. According to a new retail survey, people with annual incomes over $100,000 are cutting back on eating out in restaurants, picking up takeout, buying home furnishings, and drinking specialty coffees. Observers say, emotionally and financially, the wealthy are feeling the pinch as well as the rest of us. (Awwww … po widdle rich folk.)
– “USA Today”

LEAST DENSELY POPULATED PLACES:
Need some elbow room? Here’s where to go if you like your privacy …
5. French Guiana (a protectorate of France) … 2.1 people/sq km.
4. Mongolia …. 1.7 people/sq km.
3. Western Sahara (Morocco) … 1.3 people/sq km.
2. Falkland Islands (UK) … 0.25 people/sq km.
1. Greenland (Denmark) … 0.026 people/sq km.
(Compared to these lonesome locales, Canada is downright crowded at 3.2 people/sq km, ranking 219th.)
(Compared to these lonesome locales, the USA is downright crowded at 31 people/sq km.)
– “List Universe”

THE ART OF TRAVEL:
British anthropologist & TV personality Bruce Parry (“Going Tribal”) has a rule of thumb for traveling abroad. In virtually every language, he says, there’s a word that basically means ‘everything is all right’. You simply find out what it is and use it all the time. He claims it’s pretty much the only expression you need to learn. (Nolo problemo, dude.)
– “Globe & Mail”

WORLD’S MOST POWERFUL TODDLERS:
According to a new ranking, these are the most well-to-do, impactful and influential children under the age of 5 …
5. Sam Alexis Woods (daughter of golf ace Tiger Woods & Elin Nordegren Woods).
4. Pax Jolie-Pitt (Brangelina v4).
3. Zahara Jolie-Pitt  (Brangelina v2).
2. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt  (Brangelina v3).
1. Suri Cruise (daughter of Katie Holmes and a surrogate … er, make that Tom Cruise).
– “Forbes Magazine”

DON’T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON YOUR WAY OUT:
According to the National Safety Council, the leading causes of fatal accidents in the home are, in order, ‘falls’ (increasing due to the aging population), ‘poisonings’, ‘fires’, and ‘suffocation’ from swallowing foreign objects. But non-fatal accidents are more interesting: 25% of blinding injuries are ironically caused by people poking themselves with eyeglasses, and 15% of ALL home accidents involve impact with a door. (“Watch out! The patio door is still clo …. never mind.”)
– AP

IS ANYONE WATCHING THE ROAD?
An insurance company poll of 30,000 drivers asks what we do while we drive. The results …
• 69% eat behind the wheel.
• 44% use their mobile phones.
• 12% apply makeup or shave.
• And 7% read a book or newspaper. (Most often people with less than 10 minutes to live.)
– PA News

DID YOU KNOW?
 Women shed tears an average of 5 times per month, while men average just once. And 25% of men claim they NEVER cry.
– UPI

BS CHRONOMETER 11.20.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [66] Joe Biden, Scranton PA, US Vice President-elect/US Senator (Delaware) since 1972

1947 [61] Joe Walsh, Wichita KS, classic rock guitarist (“Life’s Been Good”, Eagles-“Hotel California”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1998)

1965 [43] Mike D (Diamond), NYC, rap/rock musician (Beastie Boys-“Ch-Check It Out”, “You Gotta Fight for Your Right To Party!”)

1975 [33] Dierks Bentley, Phoenix AZ, country singer (“Free & Easy [Down the Road I Go]”, “Every Mile a Memory”)

1975 [33] Davey Havok (Passaro), Rochester NY, rock singer (AFI-“Love Like Winter”, “Miss Murder”)

1977 [31] Josh Turner, Hannah SC, country singer (“Firecracker”, “Your Man”)

1978 [30] Nadine Velazquez, Chicago IL, TV actress (‘Catalina’ on “My Name Is Earl” since 2005)

1989 [19] Cody Linley, Lewisville TX, TV actor (‘Jake Ryan’ on “Hannah Montana” since 2006)/TV reality competition contestant (just got booted from “Dancing With the Stars”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Beaujolais Nouveau Day”, the annual limited release of young Burgundy wines from France on the 3rd Thursday of November as a preview of the year’s grape crop. More than 20 million bottles were trucked to French airports on the weekend, destined for wine enthusiasts in the US, Canada, and Japan.

• “Great American Smokeout”, the 32nd annual sponsored by the American Cancer Society on the  3rd Thursday of November to help smokers quit cigarettes for at least one day, in hopes they will quit forever. Ideas on how to do that here …
NET: http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/ped_10_4.asp
NET: http://www.quitsmoking.com/kopykit/reports/smokeout.htm

• “Mexican Revolution Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the date in 1910 when the uprising to overthrow dictator Porfirio Díaz began.
NET: http://www.inside-mexico.com/revolucion.htm

• “Name Your PC Day”, a good day to ask listeners what pet names they’ve bestowed on theirs.

• “National Child Day in Canada”, first recommended by the UN  in 1989 as a day to highlight the importance of young people in our society.
NET: http://www.unac.org/en/news_events/un_days/children1.asp

• “Transgender Day of Remembrance”, the 10th annual set aside to memorialize those who’ve died due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice.
NET: http://www.dayofsilence.org/tdr.html

• “Universal Children’s Day”, a UN day of activity devoted to promoting the welfare of the children of the world.
NET: http://www.un.org/depts/dhl/children_day/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [26] Drew Barrymore first hosts “Saturday Night Live” … at age 7

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1866 [142] Pierre Lalemont of Paris, France patents the ‘Rotary Crank Bicycle’ (this original bicycle is nicknamed the ‘bone shaker’)

1923 [85] 1st ‘Traffic Signal’ (Garrett Morgan designates red for ‘stop’, green for ‘go’, and yellow for ‘go like hell!’)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [14] New England Patriots QB Drew Bledsoe sets NFL record for pass attempts (70) and completions (45) vs Minnesota Vikings

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] “Bolt” and “Twilight” open in movie theaters
[Fri] World Hello Day
[Fri] False Confessions Day
[Fri] World Television Day
[Sat] Start Your Own Country Day
[Sat] 2008 Vanier Cup (Hamilton)
[Sat] Humane Society Anniversary Day
[Sun] 36th American Music Awards (Los Angeles)
[Sun] Guns N’ Roses releases “Chinese Democracy”
[Sun] 96th Grey Cup (Montréal)
This Week Is … Better Conversation Week
This Month Is … Pet Cancer Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS
IT PAYS TO BE IGERNANT:
Your contestant must get all 10 questions WRONG to win. It’s tougher than it seems!
• This is the largest object currently orbiting Earth.
• What’s the best pickup line?
• This is the affectionate nickname for [co-host].
• He’s the most macho guy in show biz.
• What’s the appropriate attire for a groom at a wedding?
• This is the most effective form of foreplay.
• This is what pillows are commonly stuffed with.
• This is the most common name for dogs.
• What’s the most useful thing your mommy ever taught you?
• Name the most popular breakfast food.
• Who first discovered Canada?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the best TV show ever?

BS WHYZITS:
• Whyzit we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us but don’t remember how many times we have told it to the same person?
• Whyzit more men sell women’s shoes but more women sell men’s underwear?
• Whyzit the only time you realize you have a reputation is when you fail to live up to it?
• Whyzit when you’re choking, people always ask if you’re okay? How can you answer if you’re choking?
• Whyzit when you’re in a store the salesperson can’t wait on you because a customer is on the phone but if you call the same salesperson on the phone they can’t wait on you because they’re taking care of a customer in the store?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Mad at your neighbor? Buy his kid a drum.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Doing THIS while you work can lower your stress by 17%.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Chewing gum.       

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never ask a barber if you need a haircut or a sales rep if it’s a good price.


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