Monday, November 24, 2008                 Edition: #3907
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

• The cost of the weekend launch party for the new 1,539-room Atlantis The Palms resort that began Thursday in Dubai is estimated at circa $25 million. A 2-mile exclusion zone was thrown around the man-made Palm Jumeirah island, where about 2,000 invited guests watched a Kylie Minogue concert and a fireworks display 10 times larger than the Beijing Olympics opening. Lindsay Lohan and Charlize Theron were housed in the top of the line ‘Lost Chamber Suites’, which have views straight into the underwater ‘Lagoon’ filled with 65,000 marine animals. Other invitees included Richard Branson, Robert De Niro, Ben Affleck, Nick Lachey, and Wesley Snipes. (Even C-listers got an invite to this freebie of all freebies.)
• 22-year-old “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson has confirmed there will be a sequel to the vampire love story and he will definitely be in it. Pattinson also admits he proposed to 18-year-old co-star Kristen Stewart on the film set. He says he pops the question to women as a ‘good conversation starter’. You just go up to someone, say I love you and ask them to marry you. It always works, he claims. (Geezer talk show host Larry King does this too … only for real.)
• Madonna allegedly compiled a dossier of ‘unreasonable behavior’ by her ex-, Guy Ritchie, but decided to drop it from their divorce case. A report says she ordered staff to keep track of his movements and record it in a logbook, which she planned to present to the court in their battle over custody of the kids. Fortunately, a quickie divorce slipped through London court in under a minute on Friday and the final decree will come 6 weeks-and-a-day later. Word has it they’ve reached a settlement over money and sharing kids. (She keeps it; he gets to see them.)
– “News Of the World”
• The first ever “MTV African Music Awards” took place Saturday in Nigeria’s capital Abuja. Two local singers won the top trophies: D’banj for ‘Artist Of the Year’ and Naeto C for ‘Best New African Act. Kenyan singer Wahu won ‘Best Female Artist’. Winners were selected by fans via text message. MTV is hoping the new awards will afford African artists more exposure. (This may be the last place MTV is still airing music.)
• 78-year-old Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood says he’s retiring from acting after a career spanning over 50 years. Eastwood has just finished starring in and directing “Gran Torino”, a drama about a racist veteran of the Korean War but now that it’s in the can, he says he’s hanging it up for good. That doesn’t mean he’s quitting the biz. The Oscar-winning director says he has no plans to stop making films. (Just get him a reclining director’s chair.)
– “Sunday Express”
• The Screen Actors Guild (SAG) has announced it will ask members to authorize a strike since contract talks with Hollywood studios have failed despite the help of a federal mediator. A vote would take more than a month and require 75% approval to pass. Actors in primetime TV shows and movies have been working under terms of a contract that expired June 30, with the hope of avoiding a repeat of the 100-day writers strike which shut down production of dozens of TV shows and cost the LA economy an estimated $2.5 billion. (Oh no … more incredibly bad reality shows coming in January!)

• Island Def Jam Music Group breaks the decades-old album release practice of ‘Tuesdays in-store’ with a special Monday triple release, both physical and digital: “Day & Age” by the Killers; “808s & Heartbreak” by Kanye West; and “Theater Of the Mind” by Ludacris.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – The Killers (“Human”) are the musical guests.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Young Jeezy (“Put On”, “Love in This Club”) guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Kanye West performs.
• Michael Jackson – Apparently he’s quickly recovered from a debilitating illness and flown to London to face the music in a scheduled court hearing today. Sheikh Abdulla Hamad Al-Khalifa of Dubai is accusing him of backing out of a recording deal. An insider says the ‘King Of Pop’ is convinced he will be exonerated. Meantime, reports say the 50-year-old recently donned Muslim garb and converted to Islam, taking the name ‘Mikaeel’ during a ceremony in an LA home.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Country star Faith Hill is a guest.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – The Jonas Bros (“Lovebug”) are onstage.

• Amy Winehouse – She’s announced her 19-month marriage to ex-con hubby Blake Fielder-Civil is over. She’s quoted as saying they were ‘only together for sex’. (He was likely the sole person willing … but only when he was totally stoned.)
• Ashlee Simpson-Wentz – She & Fall Out Boy hubby Pete Wentz are frontrunners for ‘Most Unfortunately Named Baby’ in celeb spawn history, thanks to naming their new son ‘Bronx Mowgli’. (Yep, just like “Jungle Book”.)
• Jason Mraz – He’s racked up a massive 32 million views of the “I’m Yours” video on YouTube.
• John Mayer – He’s had a chance to ‘meet the parents’, Jennifer Aniston taking him to dinner to meet her father John Aniston & his wife Sherry Rooney at the Beverly Hills’ Polo Lounge. (Things must be getting serious!)
• Julianne Hough – The just evicted pro dancer says she will not return to “Dancing With the Stars” when the next season begins in May because she wants to focus on her new career as a country singer.
• No Doubt – Gwen Stefani says she’s ready to hit the road with her former band, which has recently started work on a new album. In a web chat she’s suggested they ‘pack up the babies and get a bunch of nannies … I don’t think we should wait.’
• Travis Barker – He’s now filed a lawsuit against companies linked to that private plane that crashed in South Carolina, injuring him and killing 2 friends.
• Usher – He’s confirmed he’s set to become a dad again, revealing that wife Tameka Foster is pregnant with the couple’s 2nd baby boy, due next month. #1 son, Usher Raymond V, was born a year ago.

If you thought that lying in the bed too long makes you fat, think again! New research reveals that a good amount of sound sleep actually prevents weight gain. The study by NYC’s Columbia University finds that people who sleep for 4 hours or less per night are 73% more likely to be obese, possibly because of effects on their appetite hormones. The study also finds that, even after other factors such as depression, physical activity, alcohol consumption, ethnicity, level of education, age and gender are taken into account, people who sleep less are still more likely to be heavy. (Yeah, after I get out of here today I’m going to bed with a large, double cheese pizza. Just trying to stay fit.)

What’s the opposite of being ‘on a roll’? Whatever it is, these stars are on it …
5. Robert De Niro … Apparently unaware you’re allowed to turn down roles, he should retire before he starts making “We’re No Angels” sequels.
4. Al Pacino … He’s simply done far too many bug-eyed ‘performances’ punctuated by random shouting.
3. Carmen Electra … The only good Carmen is a naked Carmen.
2. Katherine Heigl … She not only bites the hand that feeds her, she insists on trashing it in the media.
1. Heath Ledger … He was an actor on the climb who clearly didn’t appreciate what he had.
(Unhonorable mentions: Justin Timberlake, Jessica Alba.)

The sleepless nights and sleepy afternoons that follow long-haul flights take longer to get over than you might think. Sleep expert Dr Naomi Rogers of Australia’s Woolcock Institute of Medical Research says jet lag can have a big impact on reaction time and alertness, so it may be better to take a cab at the airport and pick up your rental car the following day. She also recommends you allow a full day to recover from jet lag for each time zone crossed; that you begin your daily routine in the new time zone as quickly as possible; and that you avoid alcohol and caffeine during the flight. Fortunately, once the body actually adjusts to the new time zone, there don’t seem to be any lasting effects. (If anyone knows anything about jet lag, it would be an Aussie. They’re about 12 hours from … anywhere.)
A new ranking of the best paid pairs based on total earnings over the past year …
5. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie … $34 million.
4. Tim McGraw & Faith Hill …. $35 million
3. David & Victoria Beckham …. $58 million.
2. Will Smith & Jada Pinkett … $85 million.
1. Beyoncé & Jay-Z … $162 million.
– “Forbes Magazine”

Retail researchers claim that introducing more sunlight into stores appears to improve retail sales. A study of more than 100 stores found those with skylights had 40% higher profits. (This works especially well in Vancouver, where shoppers are instantly perked up by the melodic tap, tap, tapping of raindrops on the glass.)

• So much of the honeybee population has been wiped out in England that the country will run out of homegrown honey before Christmas.
– “Telegraph”
• Parents pushing children in away-facing buggies or strollers talk to them less, and their offspring appear to be more stressed because of it, according to a new Dundee University study.
– BBC News

1942 [66] Billy Connolly, Glasgow, Scotland, comedian/movie actor (“The X-Files: I Want to Believe”, “The Last Samurai”)

1970 [38] Chad Taylor, Baltimore MD, alt-rock guitarist (Live-“Heaven”, “Lightning Crashes”)

1977 [31] Colin Hanks, Sacramento CA, movie actor (“The House Bunny”, “King Kong”)/TV actor (“Band of Brothers”)/son of actor Tom Hanks

1978 [30] Katherine Heigl, Washington DC, TV actress (‘Dr Izzie Stevens’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)/movie actress (“Knocked Up”, “27 Dresses”)

“Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day”, saluting the individual abilities each of us has. Okay, so what is it that you can do that no one else can? Whistle through your nose? Play both armpits simultaneously? Recite the alphabet backwards? Talk out of both sides of your mouth at the same time?

1998 [10] America Online, then largest Internet access service, announces plans to acquire Netscape Communications in a deal valued at $4.2 billion

1976 [32] The Band announces to a stunned San Francisco audience that they are playing their last concert

1991 [17] The charismatic lead singer of the rock group Queen, Freddie Mercury, dies in his sleep at age 45, just one day after publicly announcing he was suffering from AIDS

1998 [10] Cher’s career is revived as the mega-hit single “Believe” is released

1874 [134] 1st ‘Barbed Wire’ patented by Joseph Glidden of DeKalb IL (collecting various kinds of barbed wire is now a serious hobby for many)

1954 [54] 1st US presidential plane is christened “Air Force One”

[Tues] Shopping Reminder Day
[Tues] International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
[Thurs] US Thanksgiving Day
[Thurs] Pins & Needles Day
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Fri] Sinkie Day
[Fri] Flossing Day
[Fri] Salesperson’s Day
[Fri] 2008 Gemini Awards (Toronto)
[Fri] Stay Home Because You Are Well Day

Better Conversation Week / Cookie Week / Family Week / Farm-City Week / Game & Puzzle Week / Teens Don’t Text & Drive Week

Good news for Microsoft Windows users – looks like you may not have to deal with the unpopular Vista software much longer. Microsoft Corp has announced it’s aiming for a late 2009 release for its newest operating system, called simply ‘Windows 7′. Some of its unconfirmed features …
• With optional metal probe, Microsoft ‘Explorer’ now explores more than just websites.
• New ‘Excel’ macro calculates exactly how many times Bill Gates can buy your sorry ass.
• Automatically calls your mom every time you log onto an adult site.
• Helpfully locates and destroys all non-Microsoft software on your computer.
• Crashes twice as fast as Windows Vista.
• Comes with free technical support until 2001!

Just about anywhere drivers can plunk down a fee and get a ‘vanity plate’ for their vehicle. What about the rest of us who aren’t wanting to brag about anything. Why not ‘modesty plates’ like …
• 103IQ
– Thanks to Lucas Klauss

Q: Which burns more calories – sleeping or watching TV?
A: Believe it or not, studies suggest you burn more calories while sleeping.

Q: Not counting Russia, what’s the most populous country in Europe?
A: Germany, with about 83 million people. The UK is a distant 3rd with about 61 million.

Will that be gin and platonic or scotch and sofa?

Today’s Question: The most common day for someone to do THIS is Monday.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Break up with someone.

First say no, then negotiate.

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