Tuesday, November 4, 2008        Edition: #3893
Wow, You Really Know Your Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Alec Baldwin, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Lou Gossett Jr are among a host of celebs whose struggles with drug & alcohol addiction are detailed in Christopher Kennedy Lawford’s new tell-all book “Moments of Clarity” (singer Judy Collins admits she drank a jelly jar of vodka in an airport bathroom – on the way to rehab) . . . Stratford Shakespeare Festival’s production of “Caesar & Cleopatra”, starring Christopher Plummer, will premiere as film in one-night gala screenings across Canada, and will eventually air on TV (likely CTV-Bravo) . . . An inquest into the death of a technician who was killed on the set of “The Dark Knight” in 2007 is due to begin THIS MONTH; New Zealand native Conway Wickliffe died after the truck filming a ‘Batmobile’ sequence in England collided with a tree (they use that footage?) . . . Has-been action movie star Jean-Clause Van Damme has canceled promotional appearances for his new movie “JCVD”, a spoof documentary in which he plays himself, so he can ‘look after his sick puppy’ (BS translation: This crappy flick makes “Universal Soldier” seem like art) . . . Actor Jim Carrey’s actress girlfriend Jenny McCarthy says the 45-year-old funnyman likes dressing up, explaining he’s ‘a great, great guy who sometimes likes to dabble in women’s clothing’ (BS translation: He hasn’t had a hit in so long, we had to come up with some cockamamy story to get his name in the news) . . . And a hot rumor circulating suggesting that HBO is developing a comedy starring Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears is NOT true, Lohan’s rep confirming it simply isn’t going to happen (oh mercy, sometimes the news IS good!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Brad Paisley – He releases his new album, “Play”, described as an all-out guitar celebration. Just 4 of the 15 track feature vocals.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/A Channel) – John Legend is onstage.
• Randy Owen – The former Alabama frontman’s debut solo album, “One on One”, is released. It coincides with the publication of his first book, “Born Country”.
• “Rock Band 2“ – Beginning TODAY, 20 free songs are being offered for download. The bad news is they’re by the likes of The Cab, Tickle Me Pink, and Dealership. Huh?
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tracy Chapman (“Fast Car”) performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Celine Dion – She’s canceled TONIGHT’s “Taking Chances World Tour” concert in Chicago due to a sinus infection. Word is she was ordered by doctors to scrap the show in order to recover.
• Duffy – She accidentally set fire to her hair while backstage at a Coldplay concert where she was the opening act. After bending over a candle she thought was unlit, the entire left side of her hair went up in flames. That’s when Chris Martin, whom she’d never met, dropped by to say hi. It was an embarrassing moment she says, because the place stunk of burning hair. Fortunately, she wasn’t seriously injured.
• Jennifer Hudson – She & and her sister are establishing a foundation to help other victims of tragedy. Hudson’s publicist says the organization will be called the Hudson-King Foundation For Families of Slain Victims.
• Leona Lewis – The British “Bleeding Love” singer says she hopes never to reach superstar status because she wants to be able to lead a ‘normal life’.
• Michael Jackson – Just a couple days after he said a Jackson 5 reunion was total BS, a reports says he’s turned down an offer to play at the opening of Steve Wynn’s Encore tower in DECEMBER. The Encore is a $2-billion addition to the Wynn hotel-casino complex in Las Vegas.
• Taylor Swift – The 18-year-old says she was excited to vote for the first time in an advance poll. She voted early because she’s on the road away from home today.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Come Together: A Night For John Lennon’s Words & Music” ( Concert ): A 90-minute concert of various artists performing Lennon classics at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall in 2001, featuring Dave Matthews (“In My Life”); Stone Temple Pilots (“Revolution”); Cyndi Lauper (“Strawberry Fields Forever”); Alanis Morissette (“Dear Prudence”), among many others.
• “Get Smart” ( Action Comedy ): Steve Carell stars as ‘Maxwell Smart’, Agent 86 for CONTROL, who battles the forces of KAOS with the more-competent Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway) at his side. Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson & Alan Arkin co-star. Cameos by James Caan (‘The President’) & Bill Murray (‘Agent 13′). Based on Mel Brooks’ classic TV series which starred Don Adams & Barbara Feldon (1965-70). Partially shot in Montréal & Harrington QC. Also comes in a “2-Disc Special Edition”.
• Also released TODAY: “A Christmas Story – Ultimate Collector’s Edition”; “The Bourne Trilogy”;
“The Gregory Peck Film Collection”; “Howdy Doody – 40 Complete Episodes” (classic TV); “I Dream of Jeannie: The Complete Series” (classic TV); “The Outer Limits: The Complete Original Series” (classic TV); “Shrek the Halls”; and “Wild Wild West: The Complete Series” (classic TV).

CANNED BUTT:
A soft drink claiming to offer the same nicotine fix as a cigarette is being launched in Britain. ‘Liquid Smoking’, sold in red & white cans, is touted as an alternative to shivering outside bars and restaurants. Martin Hartman of United Drink & Beauty Corp claims the company’s new product has the same effect as nicotine but can be imbibed in restaurants and on airline flights. Anti-smoking groups are concerned the product, which contains 15% nicotine, may actually promote smoking.
– “Globe & Mail”

BEES DO MATH:
Australian scientists have found that honey bees can count to 4, but not beyond. Mandyam Srinivasan, a researcher at the University of Queensland, says the more scientists look at these creatures that have a brain the size of a sesame seed, the more astonished they are. Bees seem to have a lot of the capacities that we so-called ‘higher beings’ possess.
– Reuters

BETTY OR VERONICA?
A Japanese man who has fallen in love with a comic book character has created an online petition to persuade the government to let them get married. So far he’s gathered about a thousand of the million signatures he’s hoping for. He says for a long time he’s only been able to fall in love with 2-dimensional people and currently has someone he really loves. The funnies fan claims he’d like to become a resident of the 2-dimensional world.” Unlikely, ‘cause you’re a one-dimensional geek, dude!
– News.com.au

GENTLE ALARM:
Smoke alarms would save more lives if the noise they made was a little less shrill. So say Dorothy Bruck and her colleagues at Victoria University in St Albans, Australia. Most fire-related deaths at home happen in the first 3 hours of slumber, when people are sleeping most deeply. So the research team experimented with 9 different alarm sounds played to adults in the early part of their sleep. The team found that people woke fastest when exposed to low tones. Highest-pitched tones were least effective. How ‘bout a mechanical elbow?
– “New Scientist”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 90% of women say they now call the shots when it comes to buying home electronics.
• 70% of drivers admit to – at least once – saying a prayer behind the wheel.
• 57% of us tried to cut our own hair – at least once – when we were kids.
• 41% of those faking illness to get a day off work think their boss knows they’re faking it.
• 33% of workers have called in sick when they weren’t – at least once – this year.
• 32% of people have sent email to the wrong person by accident.

GRUMPY OLD MEN ARE SMARTER?
A study at Morgan State University in Baltimore MD suggests that crusty seniors retain more of their intelligence. Psychological research concludes that upon reaching 60, disagreeable people maintain a higher level of intelligence than more easygoing oldsters. They seem to have a larger vocabulary, make better use of words, and retain a better knowledge of facts. The study also suggests that those dismissed as ‘grumpy old men’ and ‘feisty old ladies’ are often smarter in some ways than the young.
– “Baltimore Sun“

MARRIAGE KILLS ROMANCE:
Never mind the 7-year-itch. According a survey of 5,000 newlyweds, it seems that a just-hitched couple loses their romantic edge on average after just 2 years, 6 months and 25 days. After that, husbands no longer bother trying to be thoughtful and wives no longer bother trying to look pretty. By the 3rd year of marriage, 83% of couples don’t even bother celebrating their anniversary. We’re guessing a lot of couples would argue with this poll!
– “Daily Mail”

VIRTUAL BACKSEAT DRIVER:
A new generation of in-car navigation systems are expected to be introduced in the UK within 3 years. As well as offering directions to any given destination, the hi-tech new gizmos will offer driving tips and critique. Errant drivers will face a verbal barrage from their dashboards if they take corners too quickly and will be told when to change gears to maximize fuel economy. So long ‘sat nav’, hello ‘sat nag’!
– “Times of London“

DID YOU KNOW?
• Worldwide, 20,000 brands of beer are brewed in 180 styles, from ales, lagers, pilsener and stouts to bitters, cream ales, and iced beers.
– DidYouKnow.org
• By age 66, most people with a TV set will have seen nearly 2 million commercials.
– “USA Today“

BS CHRONOMETER 11.04.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1916 [92] Walter Cronkite, St Joseph MO, retired TV news anchor (“CBS Evening News” 1962-81) who was often voted ‘The Most Trusted Man in America’

1946 [62] Laura (Welch) Bush, Midland TX, US First Lady 2001-2009)/Mrs George W Bush/mother of twin daughters Jenna & Barbara

1960 [48] Kathy Griffin, Oak Park IL, comedian/TV personality (“Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D-List” since 2005)

1962 [46] Jeff Probst, Wichita KS, TV reality show host (“Survivor” since 2000)

1969 [39] Matthew McConaughey, Uvalde TX, movie actor (“Fool’s Gold”, “Sahara”)

1969 [39] Diddy (Sean Combs), Harlem NY, hip-hop artist (“Shake Ya Tailfeather”)/recording mogul (Bad Boy Records)/clothing designer (Sean John)/TV producer (“Making the Band”)/sometime actor (“Raisin In the Sun”, Monster’s Ball”)

1986 [22] Alexz Johnson, New Westminister BC, TV actress (“Instant Star” 2004-08)/movie actress (“Final Destination 3”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Children’s Goal-Setting Day”, to encourage parents to foster goal-setting habits in their children’s lives. Children need goals, because they spend altogether too much time goofin’ around – you know – acting like kids.

• “US Election Day”, when the president for the next 4 years will be decided. A few notes …
– On average, 24 more people die in car crashes during voting hours on US presidential election days than on other NOVEMBER Tuesdays. That amounts to an 18% increased risk of death.
– LiveScience.com

• Talk about absentee voting! US citizens Michael Fincke & Greg Chamitoff are 220 miles above Earth in the International Space Station. But thanks to a bill passed in Texas in 1997, they’ll be able to vote by secret ballot. A secure electronic ballot is being uplinked by NASA’s Johnson Space Center Mission Control.
– PhysOrg.com

• “Use Your Common Sense Day”, promoting the idea of using the knowledge and experience which most people allegedly have.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [11] Shania Twain releases smash album “Come On Over” (over 34 million copies sold worldwide)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1920 [88] Canadian Marconi’s radio station CFCF Montréal broadcasts 1st commercial radio show (station began in December 1919, reputedly making it the oldest in the world)

1939 [69] Packard unveils the 1st automobile with ‘Air Conditioning’

1980 [28] Ronald Reagan defeats Jimmy Carter by a landslide to become 1st divorcé, 1st actor, and oldest US President

1991 [17] 1st gathering of 5 US Presidents as Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford & Nixon attend opening ceremonies of the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library & Museum in Simi Valley CA

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1973 [35] Chicago Bears set NFL record by holding Green Bay Packers to -12 yards passing

2001 [07] Arizona Diamondbacks become Major League Baseball’s quickest expansion team to win the “World Series” by beating the NY Yankees in just their 4th season of existence

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Take Our Kids to Work Day
[Wed] Guy Fawkes Day (UK)
[Thurs] MTV Europe Music Awards (Liverpool)
[Thurs] Saxophone Day
[Thurs] Halfway Point of Autumn
[Fri] World Community Day
[Sat] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Sat] International Tongue Twister Day
This Week Is . . . Canadian Career Week/National Fig Week
This Month Is . . . Runaway Prevention Month

BULL’S BITS      
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANKIND:
• If you ate pasta and then antipasto, would you still be hungry?
• If you get into a cab and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cabby owe you money?
• If you’re a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?
• In court why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you’re planning on lying, do they really think you’ll tell them so?
• Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don’t hunters just use flame-throwers?
• Is ‘tired old cliché’ a tired old cliché?
• Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
• Now that Microsoft is so huge, shouldn’t it be called Macrosoft?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
The upshot to dying is that you don’t have to work the following day.

STD MEDICATION OR MOVIE ACTOR FROM “ZACK & MIRI MAKE A PORNO”?
You run down the list while a guest/caller/crew member tries to decide which is which …
• Famvir (STD med)
• Nutini (Jean-Pierre Nutini)
• Valtrex (STD med)
• Bednob (Gerry Bednob)
• Suprax (STD med)
• Early (David Early)
• Hotz (Kenny Hotz)
• Aldara (STD med)
• Fortwangler (Danielle Fortwangler)
• Pegasys (STD med)

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your significant other do in the bathroom that makes you really ticked? (A recent poll is topped by: ‘Leaves dirty clothes on the floor’, selected by 47%.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: For guys, THIS peaks at age 39.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Men’s reaction times peak at age 39, according to LiveScience.com.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
George W Bush taught us a valuable lesson … vote!


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