Thursday, November 12, 2009        Edition: #4142
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

Tonight 46-year-old actor Johnny Depp is scheduled to play guitar with his favorite Brit band, Babybird (“You’re Gorgeous”) as they make their comeback appearance at a small London venue (he also directed the video for the first single from their new album “Ex-Maniac”) . . . The designs famous person Lindsay Lohan created for Emanuel Ungaro were a ‘disaster’ and an ‘embarrassment’, according to the founder of the French fashion house who hired her as a ‘style consultant’ earlier this year (what in her résumé would convince you otherwise?) . . . According to the latest leaked phone conversation between Lindsay Lohan’s mother Dina and her wacky ex- Michael, Lindsay was dating actor Heath Ledger when he died (no wonder he OD-ed!) . . .Michael Jackson’s September 3rd private family funeral cost roughly $1 million, according to just released court documents (as opposed to the over-the-top public memorial estimated at 4 times that) . . . Meantime, a 1984 Michael Jackson portrait by legendary artist Andy Warhol has been bought by an anonymous bidder for $812,000 at a Christie’s art auction in LA (a bidder named ‘Katherine’?) . . . 29-year-old actress Jessica Alba tells “E!” she & husband Cash Warren will support their 18-month-old daughter Honor Marie with whatever she wants to do in life – so long as she doesn’t go into show biz (biting the hand that feeds, are we?) . . . And “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson has now admitted that the rumors are true – he stinks, thanks to his ‘disgusting’ personal hygiene (so much for the ‘World’s Sexiest Man’ attempt).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Harry Connick Jr (“Your Songs”).
• “Jay Leno Show” (NBC/CityTV) – Dolly Parton (“Live from London”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Switchfoot (“Hello Hurricane”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – 1990s hip-hop act Goodie Mob.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Trace Adkins (“X”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – The Cribs w/Johnny Marr (“Ignore the Ignorant”).
.• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Jason Mraz (“We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – Steven Tyler is now backtracking on recent comments that led many, including guitarist Joe Perry, to believe he’s quitting the band. Now he’s calling the split misinformation spread by the ‘people behind Joe Perry’s new solo album’.
• Céline Dion – Husband-manager René Angelil has revealed the 41-year-old singer is no longer pregnant as the latest in vitro fertilization treatment she underwent was unsuccessful.
• The Cranberries – Tonight they kick off a North American reunion tour in Baltimore MD.
• Eminem – He’s set to produce & star in a 3-D horror movie called “Shady Talez”. The project will also be released as a series of 4 comic books next year via Marvel Icons.
• Green Day – Their “American Idiot” musical will reportedly hit Broadway sometime in the near future, according to “Playbill” magazine. No dates or theater are yet confirmed.
• Janis Joplin – This week the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland OH is saluting the 1960s blues singer with a week-long series of events, including seminars and a Saturday tribute concert. Joplin died from a drug overdose in 1970, aged 27.
• John Fogerty – Tonight he launches a tour in support of his latest album, “The Blue Ridge Rangers Rides Again”, in Los Angeles.
• Madonna – This week she’s flown to Brazil, accompanied by her rabbi. Denying rumors her visit to Rio de Janeiro is to meet boyfriend Jesus Luz’s family, she insists she’s only there for ‘fundraising and humanitarian purposes’.
• Nickelback – Their new single “Burn It To the Ground” has been chosen as the new theme for TV wrestling show “WWE Monday Night RAW”. It debuts next week.
• Robbie Williams – Rumors suggest the Brit pop star will join his former Take That bandmates at a charity concert in London’s Royal Albert Hall tonight. He split from the group in 1995.
• Taylor Swift – “Love Story” has won ‘Song Of the Year’ at this week’s “BMI Country Awards”.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Pure Country Gift” – Country star George Strait will have a limited role in this now-shooting sequel to 1992′s “Pure Country”, in which he starred as country singer ‘Dusty Chandler’. The sequel features singer-songwriter Katrina Elam (“No End in Sight”), who shot a concert scene yesterday at Nashville’s Municipal Auditorium.
• “Scream 4, 5, 6” – Screenwriter Kevin Williamson says the 4th installment of the rejuvenated horror franchise will  be the start of a brand new trilogy. Original “Screamers” Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, and her husband David Arquette have all signed on to reprise their roles. The original 3 movies were a huge hit, raking in close to $300 million.
• “Sheneneh & Wanda” – In this upcoming crime comedy, Jamie Foxx & Martin Lawrence will slip on stockings and stilettos to play cross-dressing bank robbers. The project originated as a spoof trailer for a fictitious film called “Skank Robbers”, which Foxx & Lawrence made for the “BET Awards” in June.
• “Three Men & A Bride” – Steve Guttenberg, Tom Selleck, and Ted Danson starred in the 1987 comedy “Three Men & A Baby” about bachelor pals raising a baby left on their doorstep. The re-teamed 3 years later for the sequel “Three Men & A Little Lady”. Now, 19 years later, Disney is looking to reunite the trio yet again for the story of their movie daughter’s wedding.
• “Yellow Submarine” – Director Robert Zemeckis wants Paul McCartney & Ringo Starr to play themselves in his upcoming remake of The Beatles’ 1968 film. But so far there’s no word if the surviving Beatles will participate in the performance-capture 3-D production. Zemeckis most recently used the technology to make Disney’s new animated version of “A Christmas Carol”.

TOP PAID TV GUYS:

A new ranking of TV’s top male earners based on income from all sources over the past year …
5. Steve Carell (“The Office”) … $20 million.
4. Charlie Sheen “Two & A Half Men” … $21 million.
3. Ryan Seacrest (“American Idol”) … $38 million.
2. Donald Trump (“The Apprentice”) … $50 million.
1. Simon Cowell (“American Idol”) … $75 million.
– Forbes.com

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:

• Portsmouth, England – A 22-year-old British student is suffering from the rarely diagnosed condition ‘lachanophobia’ … an abhorrent fear of vegetables. Vicki Larrieux says just the sight of carrots, peas or other veggies causes panic attacks, quickening her pulse and making her sweat. It’s something she’s experienced since she was a child. (And mom got sucked in by her hysterics.)
– ANI
• Swansea, Wales – A 23-year-old burglary suspect on the run from police sent a picture of himself to his local paper because he disliked the unflattering mug shot they’d printed as part of a public appeal to track him down. Matthew Maynard provided a replacement shot showing him standing in front of a police van. The “South Wales Evening Post” liked the pic enough to run it on the front page. Police have publicly thanked him, saying everyone will know what he looks like now. (The return address on the envelope was likely a mistake too.)
• Wellington, New Zealand – Artist Sam Mahon has sold a controversial sculpture of New Zealand’s Environment Minister Nick Smith for $2,220 in an online auction, a remarkable feat considering the artwork is made from … manure. Mahon says his cow dung masterpiece, meant to protest dairy farm pollution, was purposefully made with a hollow head. (Who buys this crap?)
– NewsObserver.com
• Boise, Idaho – A junior hockey team has been banished from a local arena after players engaged in a game of … strip hockey. The team was participating in an odd shootout drill whereby if they missed a shot, they had to take off a glove. If they missed another, they had to take off the other glove, shedding a piece of uniform every time a practice shot was missed. (One player ended up ‘puck naked’.)
– AP

BS REASONS MEN LIE TO WOMEN:
• Some women can’t handle the truth.
• To delay the inevitable.
• It’s empowering.
• It can be fun.
• It saves disappointment.
• Out of fear.
• It’s easier.
– Condensed from AskMen.com.

FOR THE RECORD:

Students at the University of California at Berkeley have created the ‘World’s Longest Sushi Roll’. The 330-foot California-style roll contained 200 lbs of rice, 80 lbs of avocado, 80 lbs of cucumber and 180 lbs of fish. In a nod to vegetarians, the final 15 ft contained tofu instead of seafood.
– NYPost.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:

• Automaker Porsche is suing shoe company Crocs because it doesn’t like the fact it named one of its product lines the ‘Crocs Cayman’. Porsche claims it has trademarked the word. (And it would be so easy to, you know, confuse a luxury sports car with a rubber shoe.)
– MSN.com
• If you have $700 to spare, you can buy 5,000 genuine Olympic condoms left over from the 100,000 distributed to athletes in Beijing. Each condom wrapper carries the Olympic motto – ‘faster, higher, stronger’ – in both English and Chinese. It seems one man went around after the 2008 games collecting everything he could lay his hands on, and has now decided to put the lot up for auction at the China International Exhibition Centre November 29th.
NET: http://www.ticang.com
– “The Independent”

BS CHRONOMETER 11.12.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [65] Al Michaels, Brooklyn NY, TV sportscaster (“NBC Sunday Night Football” since 2007, “ABC Monday Night Football” 1986-2006)/National Sportscasters & Sportswriters Association Hall of Fame (1998)/5 Emmy Awards for Outstanding Play-by-Play Host/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2004)

1945 [64] Neil Young, Toronto ON (raised Winnipeg MB), classic rocker (“Heart of Gold”, Crosby Stills Nash &Young-“Woodstock”)/Farm Aid co-founder/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2000)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1995, 1997-Buffalo Springfield)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1982)

1979 [30] Cote de Pablo, Santiago, Chile, TV actress (‘Ziva David’ on “NCIS” since 2005)

1980 [29] Ryan Gosling, London ON (raised Cornwall ON), movie actor (“Lars & the Real Girl”, “The Notebook”)

1982 [27] Anne Hathaway, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (“Bride Wars”, “The Princess Diaries”)  COMING UP: Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” (2010).

1984 [25] Omarion (Omari Ishmael Grandberry), Inglewood CA, R&B singer (f/Timbaland-“Ice Box”, B2K-“Bump, Bump, Bump”)/movie actor (“Feel the Noise”, “You Got Served”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Birth of Baha’u’llah”, a holy day in the Baha’i faith.

• “Birth of Sun Yat-Sen”, a national holiday in China and Taiwan, marking the 143rd anniversary of the birth of the forerunner of China’s democratic revolution.

• “Chicken Soup For the Soul Day”, a celebration of who you are, where you’ve been, where you’re going, and who you will be thankful to when you get there, according to the creators of the mega-selling book series.

• “Pizza With the Works Except Anchovies Day”. The word ‘pizza’ comes from the Latin word ‘picea’ which the Romans used to describe the blackening of bread in an oven. The world’s first true pizzeria, Antica Pizzeria Port’Alba, opened in 1830 and is still in business today in Naples, Italy. An Italian immigrant named Gennaro Lombardi opened the first North American pizzeria in 1895 in NYC. Pizza is now consumed all over the world … with or without anchovies!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .

1910 [99] 1st ‘Movie Stunt’ (a jump into NYC’s Hudson River from a burning balloon)

1951 [58] ‘National Ballet of Canada’, founded by Celia Franca, gives 1st performance (Toronto)

2004 [05] Pieces of the original 1923 ‘Hollywood’ sign (the ‘H’, ‘W’ and ‘Y’) are auctioned on eBay

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1984 [25] Madonna releases her landmark “Like A Virgin” album

1988 [21] U2’s “Rattle & Hum” hits #1 on album charts and remains 6 weeks

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1931 [78] Maple Leaf Gardens opens in Toronto as the new home of the NHL’s Maple Leafs (vacated when the Air Canada Centre opens in 1999)

1983 [26] ‘Cabbage Patch Doll’ debuts and quickly becomes the holiday season must-have

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Fri] Guinness World Record Day
[Fri] “2012”; “Pirate Radio” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Sat] World Diabetes Day
[Sat] World Rock-Paper-Scissors Championships (Toronto)
[Sun] Transgender Day of Remembrance
[Sun] World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims
This Week Is … Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week
This Month Is … Pomegranate Month

BULL’S BITS


WHAT EVERY PARENT SHOULD KNOW … OR MAYBE NOT:
Fox News has managed to panic parents with an in-depth investigation of ‘sexting’, the current teenage penchant for exchanging sexually explicit text messages and/or photos via cellphone. The fear-monger news hounds have further dug deep to unearth ‘secret codes’ being used that have ‘hidden meanings’. Among those we can mention on-air …
• ‘ASL’ … Age/Sex/Location
• ‘Code 9′ … Parents are around.
• ‘GYPO’ … Get Your Pants Off.
• ‘IMEZRU’ … I Am Easy, Are You?
• ‘KPC’ … Keeping Parents Clueless.
• ‘LMIRL’ … Let’s Meet In Real Life.
• ‘WYCM’ … Will You Call Me?
• ‘MOS’ … Mom Over Shoulder.
• ‘TDTM’ … Talk Dirty To Me.
• ‘143′ … I love you.
It seems they missed some; here are a few more BS ‘sexting’ codes …
• ‘397#’ … I weigh 397 pounds.
• ‘EP18M’ … Eligible for parole in 18 months.
• ‘AMAMCF’ … Ask me about my cheese fetish.
• ‘SC’ … Still chafing.
• ‘HWH?’ … Herpes? What herpes?
– Excerpted from eSarcasm.com.

BS RANDOM JOKE:

A chicken is just the egg’s way of making more eggs.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Today’s Question: A third of us admit we only do THIS about once a year but should do it more.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Vacuum under the bed.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.


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