Tuesday, November 17, 2009        Edition: #4145

Avoid Sheet Fits – Don’t Forget to Renew Your Subscription!

Actor Matt Damon says the 4th installment in the “Bourne” film franchise (which has raked in $940 million in worldwide box office) may still be a couple of years away because he & director Paul Greengrass are focusing on getting the story and script just right (and they’ve used up all the Robert Ludlum books based on the character) . . . 17-year-old actor Taylor Lautner says he’s happy to have short hair again after being forced to wear a long wig for the upcoming film “Twilight: New Moon” (out Friday) . . . A spokesperson for “Late Show” host David Letterman has rejected a “National Enquirer” report that claims his wife Regina Lasko threw him out of their family home following his live TV admission of extra-marital affairs (no, no, no – it was a couple of days later) . . . 53-year-old best-selling crime writer Patricia Cornwell, best known for her series of novels about medical examiner ‘Dr Kay Scarpetta’, claims as much as $40 million of her fortune has vanished, so she’s filed suit against her financial advisers (now she’s forced to get by on the paltry $10 million left) . . . And goodness knows why, but sorta singer-turned-pseudo-actress Ashlee Simpson has felt it important to blab to “Women’s Health” magazine that her Fall Out Boy husband Pete Wentz ‘loves’ her stretch marks (oh thank-you so much for sharing!).

• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – Alicia Keys sings her new single “Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart”; The Bee Gees perform “You Should Be Dancing”; Leona Lewis sings “Happy”; another couple is eliminated.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – OneRepublic (“Waking Up”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – The Script (“The Script”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Harry Connick Jr (“Your Songs”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – 50 Cent (“Before I Self Destruct”).
• “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” – Tonight a special charity screening of the 2nd movie in the vampire franchise is taking place in Knoxville TN, 3 days before wide release. Fans entered a lottery to qualify for a maximum of 2 tickets … at $100 apiece. Stars Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner are scheduled to attend.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Tim McGraw (“Southern Voice”).

• Fall Out Boy – Today they release a ‘best-of’ set titled “Believers Never Die”, which includes a DVD collection of all their videos.
• Katy Perry – Today her “MTV Unplugged” performance from July 22nd is released as a CD/DVD set.
• Kris Allen – Today the most recent “American Idol” winner releases his self-titled debut album.
• Janet Jackson – Today she releases the hits compilation “Number Ones”, an album title borrowed from her late brother Michael. The 2-disc, 33-track set is her first ‘best-of’ collection since 1995.
• John Mayer – Today he releases his 4th studio album, “Battle Studies”. Tonight he celebrates the release with a live concert on the Fuse network from NYC’s Beacon Theatre.
• Paul McCartney – Today he releases “Good Evening New York City”, a CD/DVD packaging of his 3-night christening of NYC’s new Citi Field in July. The deluxe version also includes his performance on the Ed Sullivan Theater marquee for “Late Show with David Letterman”.
• Rolling Stones – Today they release their “Get Yer Ya-Ya’s Out 40th Anniversary Super Deluxe Box Set”, as opposed to the plain old ‘deluxe’ version released November 3rd.
• Rush – “Working Men”, the first ‘best of’ live performance compilation from the renowned rock trio is out today in a CD/DVD package.
• Them Crooked Vultures – Today the new supergroup composed of drummer/vocalist Dave Grohl (Foo Fighters), vocalist/guitarist Josh Homme (Queens Of the Stone Agel), and bassist/keyboardist John Paul Jones (Led Zeppelin) releases its self-titled debut album, which has been streaming free online for some time now.


• “Bruno” ( Comedy ): Sacha Baron Cohen moves his flamboyant gay Austrian fashionista character to Los Angeles after he disgraces himself in front of his TV audience in Europe. Features more of his guerilla-style filmmaking that confronts, confuses and takes advantage of people he encounters along the way. Not near as successful as “Borat” (2006).
• “The Carter” ( Musical Documentary ) – The 90-minute doc Lil Wayne tried to have banned is being released straight-to-DVD. His reps have denounced the project as a ‘scandalous portrayal’ and claim it could ruin his reputation because it depicts him in a ‘negative light’. Actually he’s proven he can do a pretty good job of that all by himself.
• “My Sister’s Keeper” ( Drama ): Abigail Breslin, Cameron Diaz, and Jason Patric star in this adaptation of Jodi Picoult’s novel about a young daughter looking to free herself from her parents who rely on her to help her leukemia-stricken sister remain alive. Don’t expect any laughs or car chases … this is a two-handkerchief weeper.
• “Star Trek” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Adventure ): “Lost” director JJ Abrams fresh take on the sci-fi series returns the 11th “Star Trek” movie back to the beginning, chronicling the early days of ‘Captain James T Kirk’ & the crew of the ‘USS Enterprise’. The cast includes Chris Pine as ‘Kirk’; Zachary Quinto as ‘Spock’; Karl Urban as ‘Bones’; Zoe Saldana as ‘Uhura’; Simon Pegg as ‘Scotty’; John Cho as ‘Sulu’; and Eric Bana as ‘Nero’. Original cast member Leonard Nimoy appears (as ‘Spock Prime’) in his first live-action film role since “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country” (1991). Also available in a ‘2-Disc Digital Copy Special Edition’.
• Also released today: “Barney: We Love Our Family” (family animation); “Best of Monk” (TV); “Farscape: The Complete Series” (sci-fi TV); “Food Beware: The French Organic Revolution” (documentary); “Gone With the Wind – 70th Anniversary Ultimate Collectors Edition”; “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: A Very Sunny Christmas” (TV); and “Rome: The Complete Series” (TV).


US & Australian scientists hope software they’re co-developing will someday allow you to simply cough into your cellphone and it will tell you whether you have a cold, flu, pneumonia, or other respiratory disease. Healthcare workers can distinguish the different kinds of cough by sound and it’s expected the new software will do the same, thereby saving you a trip to the doctor’s office. How’s it work? After a cough’s initial explosive sound, there are subtleties like vibrating vocal cords and mucous that reveal info about what is happening in the respiratory system. (Don’t forget to use sanitizer on your handset afterward.)
– “Daily Telegraph”


A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 80% of husbands don’t know how much their wives weigh.
• 50% of new dads admit they’ve pretended to be asleep when the baby was crying at least once.
• 40% of us take a Tylenol or Aspirin every day.
• 35% of us have injured ourselves at some point by walking into a wall.
• 27% of us took piano lessons when we were younger even though we didn’t want to.
• 15% of us will get a speeding ticket within the next year.

A Taiwanese inventor has created a face-to-face tandem bike and is in negotiations to have it mass-produced. It took Chen Yugang of Far East University in Tainan city a year to build the bike. His invention, with seats that can be rotated, can be ridden face-to-face, conventionally or even back-to-back. Gears can be set to move the bicycle in either direction. (As if bicycles amid car traffic aren’t dangerous enough already, now we’re gonna ride ‘em backwards!)
– Ananova News

The 5th annual ‘Country Brand Index’ asks international business and leisure travelers to rank world nations by their brand value as if they were products. Here’s how countries stack up for brand power in 2009 …
5. France (6th a year ago)
4. New Zealand (7)
3. Australia (1)
2. Canada (2)
1. USA (3)
It’s the first time the US has topped the chart.
– “Toronto Star”

Scientists in Australia have developed an apple that won’t rot, at least not for a long time. The delicious-sounding ‘RS103-130′ apple is a rare cross-breed 20 years in the making by researchers at Queensland Primary Industries & Fisheries. They claim the shiny red apple will stay fresh, delicious, and crispy for 4 months. The Queensland state government is seeking a commercial supply partner to distribute the fruit and hopes to begin selling it next year. (Step 1: Get a catchier name than RS103-130!)
– Treehugger.com

A new University of Florida study has found that you can point all you like, but dogs under a certain age won’t know what the heck you’re doing. The findings suggest that the ability to understand pointing isn’t just something we and other animals are born with, it’s a skill that seems to develop with age and experience. After numerous experiments, it’s been determined that puppies younger than 21 weeks are unlikely to understand human pointing gestures. (Like when you admonish, “Can’t you see that newspaper on the floor over there?”)
– Discovery.com


Tips from security experts on ensuring your airline luggage doesn’t get lost or stolen …
• Don’t check bags. If you pack lightly, you can handle more trips with just a carry-on.
• Keep valuables with you.
• Make your bag stand out. Thieves go for nondescript, common bags that don’t draw attention.
• Use cheap luggage. An $800 bag suggests expensive goods are inside.
• Don’t dally. Get to baggage claim as soon as you can after arrival.
• Stay alert. An unguarded baggage cart is tempting to a thief.
• Fly nonstop. The more connections you make, the greater the chance a bag will be misrouted.
– Condensed from “Los Angeles Times”.


• Cyndi Lauper, Debbie Harry, and Joan Jett are becoming ‘Barbie’ dolls, as part of the new ‘Ladies Of the 80s’ collection.
– PopBitch.com
• Walmart will keep its stores open 24 hours and take new crowd-control measures on Thanksgiving weekend after a temporary employee was trampled to death in a ‘Black Friday’ rush last year.
– “USA Today”
• It takes 1.25 lbs of chemical pesticides and fertilizers to grow the cotton in just one set of standard queen-size cotton sheets.
– “Green Guide”
• Almost 30,000 people across the UK still tune into their favorite programs on old fashioned black & white TV sets. The figures have been released by Britain’s TV Licensing to mark the 40th anniversary of the first color transmissions on the BBC1 and ITV networks.
– news.bbc.co.uk


1938 [71] Gordon Lightfoot, Orillia ON, Canadian icon/pop/folk singer (“Wreck Of the Edmund Fitzgerald”, “If You Could Read My Mind”)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1986)/Canada’s Walk Of Fame (1998)/CCMA Hall Of Fame (2001)/Canadian Songwriters Hall of Fame (2003)/Companion of the Order of Canada (2003)

1942 [67] Martin Scorsese, Queens NY, movie director (“Shine a Light”, “GoodFellas”)/2007 Academy Award for ‘Best Director’ (“The Departed”)

1944 [65] Danny DeVito, Asbury Park NJ, 5′-1” TV actor (‘Frank Reynolds’ on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” since 2006, “Taxi” 1978-83)/movie actor (“Get Shorty”, “Batman Returns”)/movie producer (“Erin Brockovich”, “Pulp Fiction”)

1944 [65] Lorne Michaels (Lipowitz), Toronto ON, TV producer (“30 Rock”, “Saturday Night Live” since 1975, “The Kids in the Hall”)/movie producer (“Baby Mama”, “Mean Girls”)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2003)

1963 [46] Dylan Walsh, LA CA, TV actor (‘Sean McNamara’ on “Nip/Tuck” since 2003)

1966 [43] Richard Fortus, St Louis MO, rock guitarist (Guns N’ Roses-“Chinese Democracy”)

1977 [32] Aaron Lines, Fort McMurray AB, country singer (“Moments That Matter”, “Cheaper to Keep Her”)

1978 [31] Rachel McAdams, London ON, movie actress (“Wedding Crashers”, “The Notebook”)  UP NEXT: Guy Ritchie’s new film “Sherlock Holmes” (December 25th).

• “Farm Joke Day”, a day to have a chuckle about the rural lifestyle. You can have a cow at these websites …
NET: http://www.cljones.com/jfarm.html
NET: http://www.basicjokes.com/dtitles.php?cid=77

• “Homemade Bread Day”, when we’re all encouraged to bake a loaf from scratch. It’s a good day to get a bun in the oven!

2003 [06] Arnold Schwarzenegger is sworn in as the 38th Governor of California

2006 [03] Sony’s ‘PlayStation 3′ game console makes its North American debut

1958 [51] 13-year-old Brenda Lee releases “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”, which goes on to become a holiday season classic

2002 [07] Michael Jackson briefly dangles baby son Prince Michael II (aka ‘Blanket’) over a Berlin, Germany hotel balcony for fans waiting outside (the world quivers)

[Wed] Married To a Scorpio Support Day
[Wed] Mickey Mouse Day
[Wed] Educational Support Professionals Day
[Thurs] World Toilet Day
This Week Is … Culinary Week
This Month Is … Healthy Skin Month


• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• When someone famous dies, you check their age to get an idea how long you have left.
• You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
• There’s nothing left to learn ‘the hard way’.
• Your joints are more accurate than the weather forecast.
• You can go bowling without drinking.
• That gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.


What personal habit is hardest to control?

Today’s Question: We buy more of THESE on cloudy days than sunny ones.
Answer to Give Out Next Show:  Lotto tickets. (“Psychology Today”)

If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

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