Thursday, November 19, 2009        Edition: #4147

It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

Last week “Sports Illustrated” reported that The Who had been chosen as the Super Bowl halftime act for February, but the dinosaur rockers are now saying that’s ‘pure speculation’ (BS translation: We want more moolah) . . . MTV Networks has acquired the exclusive US TV rights to the Michael Jackson “This Is It” documentary for 6 years beginning in 2011 and will also collaborate in marketing the DVD release of the film, slated for early 2010 (think you’ll be interested in watching this in 2017?) . . . 65-year-old Evan Chandler, the father of Michael Jackson’s alleged abuse victim Jordan Chandler (now 29) has apparently committed suicide in his NJ apartment by shooting himself in the head . . . 68-year-old Ryan O’Neal says he’s happy to be omitted from long-term partner Farrah Fawcett’s just-released will, because their relationship was ‘based on love and respect, not money’ (BS translation: Crap!) . . . 31-year-old actress Rachel McAdams is denying rumors she’s signed to star in the next “Spider-Man” sequel as the villainess ‘Black Cat’, saying if it’s so, no one has told her (BS translation: Up your offer) . . . And 48-year-old Scottish singer Susan Boyle, who first found fame on “Britain’s Got Talent”, says she’s turned down a reality TV show which would help her find a man by setting her up with a series of dates (“A Shot at Love … With The Hairy Angel”).

• “Bonnie Hunt Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – 1980s band Huey Lewis & the News.
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – 50 Cent (“Before I Self Destruct”). He’s revealed he’s had the tattoos on his arms removed … so he doesn’t have to spend hours in the makeup chair on film sets.
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Elvis Costello (“Secret, Profane & Sugarcane”).
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Jack’s Mannequin (“Dear Jack EP”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – This afternoon Leona Lewis (“Echo”); then tonight she does “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel). Lewis’ song “I See You” will be the end credit theme to James Cameron’s upcoming blockbuster movie “Avatar”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Carrie Underwood (“Play On”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Raveonettes (“In & Out of Control”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – John Mayer (“Battle Studies”), who also performs a bonus concert that streams on the show’s website at 8 pm EST and will be available on demand afterward.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Kris Allen (“Kris Allen”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Orianthi (“Believe”).

• Avril Lavigne – Just a month after filing for divorce from Sum 41 rocker Deryck Whibley, the 25-year-old has been spotted several times with former “That ‘70s Show” actor Wilmer Valderrama, whose past conquests have included Ashlee Simpson, Mandy Moore, and Lindsay Lohan. (Quite the résumé.)
• Bad Company – Now that his gig with Queen is over, Paul Rodgers is returning to the band that brought him the most fame, as the original lineup is set to reunite for a tour that will include Aerosmith’s Joe Perry. The current plan is to begin with 8 shows in the UK next April.
• Bruce Springsteen – An online charity auction is being staged for 4 tickets to this Sunday’s
final show of his current tour, in Buffalo NY. Winner also gets backstage passes to the ‘E-Street Lounge’. Better be ready to pony up big-time …. bidding is closing in on $20,000.
• The Faces – The ‘70s rockers are so psyched to tour they’re not waiting for Rod Stewart to come back, and may end up replacing him with Simply Red singer Mick Hucknall. But Stewart may yet come around … he’s facing a massive $3.3 million debt for alleged unpaid legal bills.
• Faith Hill – After 16 years, she’s parted ways with her manager, Gary Borman, no reason given. (Maybe something to do with the 4 years that have passed since her last #1 hit?)
• Lil Wayne – He’s become a father for the 2nd time this year, with a son born to R&B singer Nivea just 2 months after another via actress Lauren London. He’s now spawned a total of 4.
• Paul McCartney – The US Library of Congress is awarding him its 3rd “Gershwin Prize for Popular Song”. An all-star tribute concert is planned for early 2010. (Previous recipients are Paul Simon and Stevie Wonder.)
• Taylor Swift – She’s signed a deal with American Greetings to create a line of greeting cards, gift packaging, stationery, and online greetings that will be available worldwide in the Spring.
• Three Days Grace – They’re running an online contest asking fans to create ‘pump-up’ videos and/or highlight reels for high school football teams using their new single “Break”.
• Trace Adkins – He’s secured a 2-year endorsement deal with BC Headache Powder, which will include radio ads, retail displays, tour sponsorship, and appearances at corporate events.

Social networking on the Internet has given us plenty of new words and terms (such as ‘social networking’), and the “New Oxford American Dictionary” is apparently paying attention. The publishers have announced that ‘unfriend’ is their word of the year for 2009. For the uninitiated, ‘unfriend’ is a verb meaning to remove someone from your ‘friend list’ on a social networking site such as Facebook. (“I unfriended my BF on Facebook because I’ve started to unlove him.”)
– “Oxford University Press”

Don’t underestimate the power of food to help keep you healthy. Researchers are finding more and more edible solutions to everyday ailments. A few common foods that will help you fend off the flu this season …
• Raw Garlic – It contains compounds called allion and allicin, which have direct antiviral effects.
• Onions – Also contain the same flu-fighting compounds.
• Spices – Turmeric, cloves, and cinnamon are packed with antioxidants, which help improve the function of the immune system.
• Berries – All berries have high concentrations of antioxidants to help fight off flu viruses, but blueberries pack the most punch.
• Chicken Soup – Homemade chicken soup has protein groups that have been shown to have anti-viral activity. Seems grandma was right!
(The really good news: Sales of these superfoods are not restricted to people with chronic medical conditions, pregnant women, and children under 5.)

• Customs officers in Spain have stumbled across almost $2 million-worth of counterfeit cigarettes filled with … rabbit droppings. The confiscated fake smokes were apparently destined to be sold on the black market as name brands. One official says the cigs not only smell bad but the toxic chemicals they give off are pure poison. (Man, I gotta quit smokin’ this crap.)
• Now we know what ‘Nessie’ does when she’s not posing for tourists … she plays golf! US scientists in a submarine hoping to spot Scotland’s infamous ‘Loch Ness Monster’ have instead found hundreds-of-thousands of golf balls at the bottom of the lake. It seems locals use it as a driving range. Experts say the balls pose a risk to the unique species found in the 800-ft-deep water. (But meantime, they’re sitting on about 200-grand in used ball sales!)
• Commissioners in Florida’s Brevard County have unanimously passed a bill exempting horse owners from a … ‘pooper-scooper’ law. One horse owner who testified warned that stopping a 1,000-lb animal, getting off and holding it while you try to put the poop in a bag is just not a good idea. (Instead, diapers?)
• The ‘Hamster Hotel’ is now open in Nantes, France. The owners have converted a room in an old building into a human-sized ‘hamster cage’, complete with a running wheel and hay to sleep on. Guests get the chance to feel what it’s like to live like a hamster, even down to the grain that’s offered for meals. (You don’t wanna know about the ‘facilities’.)

Celeb couple Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes should have contacted this company. A London UK firm called Today Translations checks out the meaning of baby names in other languages for parents-to-be. The celebrity couple might have thought twice about naming their daughter ‘Suri’ had they known it means ‘pickpocket’ in Japanese, ‘turned sour’ in French, and in Italian … ‘horse mackerels’. The company charges 1,000 pounds to carry out a ‘basic translation audit’ of names, checking their meaning in 100 languages. (Uh, horse mackerel?)
– Reuters

Researchers at Britain’s University College London have completed an in-depth study of the smell of … old books. The team investigated tomes from the 19th and 20th centuries, pinning the smell down to various Volatile Organic Compounds (VOCs) ‘off-gassing’ from the paper as it ages. They’ve concluded that the dusty smell of old books combines ‘grassy notes with a tang of acids and a hint of vanilla over an underlying mustiness’. So what’s the point? It’s hoped the research can be used to monitor the condition of ancient books without damaging them. (Next they’re hoping to investigate ‘old people smell’.)
– “The Guardian”


• Your cat’s front paws have 5 toes while the back paws have 4 … unless it’s polydactyl, meaning ‘having extra toes’.
• Your cat cannot taste things that are sweet. The taste buds of a cat do not detect sugar.
• Sir Isaac Newton is credited with inventing the ‘cat flap door’.
• Your cat can see in the dark. It needs just one-sixth the light level required for human vision.
• Your cat purrs at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine, around 26 purrs per second.
• Your cat can run at 30 mph (48 km/hr), faster than world record holder Usain Bolt (27 mph).


1933 [76] Larry King (Lawrence Zieger), Brooklyn NY, TV talk show host (“Larry King Live” on CNN since 1985)/married 7 times to 6 different women/over 50 years in broadcasting/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1997)

1938 [71] Ted Turner, Cincinnati OH, TV mogul (founder of CNN, TBS, TNT and other media properties)/sports mogul (Atlanta Braves, World Championship Wrestling founder)/author (“Call Me Ted” 2008)/ex-Mr Jane Fonda (1991-2001)

1942 [67] Calvin Klein, Bronx NY, fashion designer (Calvin Klein Jeans, CK One, CK Be)

1959 [50] Allison Janney, Dayton OH, 6-ft movie actress (“Juno”, “Hairspray”)/TV actress (4 Emmys-“The West Wing” 1999-2006)

1960 [49] Matt Sorum, Mission Viejo CA, rock drummer (Velvet Revolver-“Fall to Pieces”, “Slither”, Guns N’ Roses 1990-97)

1961 [48] Meg Ryan (Margaret Mary Emily Anne Hyra), Fairfield CT, movie actress with enhanced fat-filled lips (“Sleepless in Seattle”, “When Harry Met Sally”)/ex-Mrs Dennis Quaid 1991-2001

1962 [47] Jodie (Alicia) Foster, LA CA, movie actress (2 Oscars-“The Accused”, “Silence Of the Lambs”)/2 sons from unnamed fathers

1973 [36] Billy Currington, Rincon GA, country singer (“People Are Crazy”, “Good Directions”)

1973 [36] Jason Albert, Huntsville AL, country singer (Heartland- “I Loved Her First”)

1978 [31] Matt Dusk, Toronto ON, jazz/standards crooner (“Good News”, Back in Town”)


• “Have A Bad Day Day”, for all the grouches who can’t stand being told constantly to
‘Have a good day’.

• “Use Less Stuff Day”, a day to remember the first ‘R’ in the 3 Rs of environmental stewardship … ‘Reduce’ (Reuse, Recycle).

• “World Toilet Day”, to encourage toilet hygiene. The Singapore-based World Toilet Organization promotes better design, ventilation and sanitation for the device that is still a luxury in many parts of the developing world. Did you know …
– The average person visits the toilet 6-to-8 times a day, about 2,500 times a year, or about 3 years of a lifetime.
– A woman spends, on average, 3 times longer on each visit, yet there are usually the same number of stalls in each public convenience.

1999 [10] 1st non-smoking ‘James Bond’, as “The World Is Not Enough” opens in movie theaters, starring Pierce Brosnan

1996 [13] Pamela Anderson files for divorce after 21 months of wedded hell with Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee

1995 [14] Baltimore Stallions (now Montréal Alouettes) become 1st and only US-based team to win CFL championship, defeating Calgary Stampeders 37-20 in 83rd Grey Cup (when Baltimore Ravens win the Super Bowl in 2000, Baltimore becomes the only city with both a CFL and an NFL championship)

1997 [12] Iowa’s Bobbi McCaughey gives birth to world’s only known set of living ‘septuplets’, 4 boys & 3 girls

[Fri] Children’s Day
[Fri] Name Your PC Day
[Fri] “The Blind Side”; “Planet 51”; “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” open in movie theaters
[Sat] World Hello Day
[Sat] World Television Day
[Sat] National Adoption Day
[Sun] American Music Awards (Los Angeles)
This Week Is … Culinary Week
This Month Is … Inspirational Role Models Month


• You leave a party stone sober and the host still insists on hiding your keys and calling a cab.
• People ask you about ‘the accident’ and you reply, ‘Which one?’
• You’ve asked a police officer to hold your beer while you get your license.
• You replace your airbag more often than your oil.
• You swerve to miss a tree, only to find out it’s your air freshener.
• All anyone can see when you drive is your knuckles.
• Whenever you walk into traffic court, everyone greets you by name.
• Cops carry special tickets with your info already filled out.
• You’ve ever hit a car in front of you … while trying to back up.

What’s the oddest-named pet or farm animal you’ve come across?


Maybe you didn’t know but there were computers in biblical times. Eve had an Apple.


Today’s Question: A new survey of women finds that they rarely do THIS for longer than 47 hours, 15 minutes on average.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Keep a secret.


A single fact can spoil a good argument.

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