Wednesday, November 25, 2009        Edition: #4151

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!


78-year-old TV host Regis Philbin will be taking a leave of absence until the new year from his long-running daytime talk show “Live With Regis & Kelly” to recover from hip replacement surgery scheduled for December 1st (it’s his last original part) . . . Nintendo is set to offer Wii console and DSi handheld device users in Japan pay-per-view service, offering 120 titles such as episodes of “Sesame Street” for as little as 35 cents per view (no word on if or when it will be available elsewhere) . . . “Hollywood Reporter” reports that Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie donated $6.8 million to charity in the last year through their Jolie-Pitt Foundation (try as you might, it’s so hard to hate them) . . . 72-year-old actor Dustin Hoffman will be absent from Ben Stiller’s upcoming “Meet the Parents”/“Meet the Fockers” movie sequel, “Little Fockers”, reportedly due to ‘scheduling issues’ (BS translation: I’ve had enough of you Fockers) . . . According to Drug Enforcement Administration officials, heroin baggies featuring a cartoon of “Twilight” movie characters have been seized in West Hempstead on Long Island NY (now there’s a new kind of endorsement deal!) . . . And 83-year-old “Playboy” boss Hugh Hefner tells there was a moment when he was having sex with 4 ‘Playmates’ that he almost died after choking on a Ben Wa ball sex toy (ew, thanks for that disgusting mental picture, gramps!).


• “The Beatles On Record” (History) – Premiere of a new documentary that charts The Beatles’ extraordinary recording journey from “Please Please Me” to “Abbey Road”.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Jim Cuddy & Greg Keelor (Blue Rodeo).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Leona Lewis (“Spirit”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – David Gray (“Greatest Hits”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tommy Lee (“Motley Crue: Greatest Hits”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Adam Lambert (“For Your Entertainment”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/A Channel) – Shakira (“She Wolf”) performs; 2 more dancers are eliminated as the 10 finalists are revealed.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Dave Matthews (“Big Whiskey & The GrooGrux King”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Bon Jovi (“The Circle”).

• Beyoncé – She’ll release a new album in the next year. She’s released 8 singles from her current “I Am Sasha Fierce” album and spent the majority of this year touring.
• Jennifer Lopez – She tells Ryan Seacrest she meant to fall on her derriere during her “AMA Awards” performance. Quote: “That was part of the choreography. The measure of things is not what happens when you fall, it’s how you recover when you fall.” (Yeah right.)
• Lady Gaga – She dropped $1,000 on 80 cheese pizzas for fans waiting for her autograph outside a Los Angeles CA Best Buy store. (The girl knows how to do PR!)
• Timbaland – He’s cut Chris Brown’s collaboration from his new tune, “The One I Love”, in what his manager contends was ‘a creative decision for both parties’.
• Usher – It’s been announced his 6th studio album, “Raymond vs Raymond”, will not be released December 21st as scheduled. A rep says, “The album is so strong that we want to give it the opportunity to have the proper set-up before coming out.” (BS translation: It sucks.)

• “Ninja Assassin” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Korean singer/actor Rain (Jeong Ji-hoon) plays a rogue ninja who comes to the aid of a Berlin-based Interpol agent who’s linked a secret society of assassins to a series of murders. Co-stars Naomie Harris (“28 Days Later”). Shot on location in Germany.
• “Old Dogs” ( PG Family Comedy ): Robin Williams plays a successful businessman whose life is altered when an old flame re-enters his life … with her twin kids in tow. When they temporarily become his responsibility, he enlists his best friend (John Travolta) to co-parent. Co-stars Kelly Preston (Mrs John Travolta) and their daughter Ella Bleu Travolta.
• “The Road” ( R-Rated Sci-Fi Thriller ): Viggo Mortensen & Charlize Theron star in this futuristic story about a father and son who walk for months across a ravaged, post-apocalyptic landscape in search of civilization. Co-stars Robert Duvall, Guy Pearce, and 13-year-old Australian actor Kodi Smit-McPhee. Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning Cormac McCarthy novel.

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Blogslapping’ – Taking pot shots at someone or something on your blog.
• ‘Plutophile’ – A person who likes the dwarf planet Pluto, particularly one who objects to Pluto’s demoted status as a dwarf planet.
• ‘Wrap Rage’ – Anger felt by consumers trying to get into bonded plastic ‘clamshell’ packaging, the kind where 2 bits of plastic are molded together around a product.

“R&D Magazine’s” annual ‘Inventor Of the Year’ award has been referred to as the Oscar of inventions. This year’s recipient is Iowa State University professor Hans van Leeuwen, cited for his innovations in making a purer vodka and … a better pig feed. His vodka-distilling process uses ozone and activated carbon to reduce unwanted substances. (Then he puts all that crap in the pig feed?)
– United Press International

A new ranking of the best bods to ever don the designer lingerie …
5. Laetitia Casta
4. Heidi Klum
3. Miranda Kerr
2. Gisele Bundchen
1. Adriana Lima

•  Oxford, England – A British family is suddenly flush! Someone discovered that the copy of Darwin’s “On the Origin of Species” kept in their guest bathroom was a rare first edition. Christie’s auction house estimates that the book, which dates from 1859, will sell for $100,000.
• Tehran, Iran – Tehran city council is yukking it up! It’s started ‘Laughing Clubs’ in an effort to reach out to people who have lost the power of laughter. So far clubs have been established in 2 cultural centers normally used for more high-brow pursuits such as concerts and poetry readings.
– “The Guardian”
• Derby, England – Oops, there’s another one! 39-year-old Sara Foss is already the mother of 13 and expecting #14. But she says as soon as the new babe is born in April, she’ll try to get pregnant again. Why? She’s vowed to keep having babies until she has twins or triplets. Her oldest is now 23.
– “The Sun”

Why do working moms complain about their ‘useless’ husbands? According to a new University of Missouri study, it’s all about making them feel better about themselves. Dr Rebecca Meisenbach, whose research paper “The Female Breadwinner” is being published this week, says men are often unfairly accused. She contends working women who provide the majority of a household’s income also tend to envision themselves as the ones most responsible for all household operations. Why? As a way to retain traditional feminine identity. Whose fault is this … the ‘Iron Maiden’ or the meek male?)
– “The Observer”


A Bromont, Québec woman has been on leave from her job for the last year. She was diagnosed with ‘major depression’ and was receiving long-term disability benefits from insurer Manulife. But the payments dried up this fall and when she called the company she was informed she’s perfectly capable of working based on photos on Facebook. They include shots of her having a good time at a Chippendales show, celebrating at her birthday party, and relaxing during a vacation in the sun. The woman claims she was just trying to forget her problems and have fun … on her doctor’s advice. (One more reason to protect your privacy.)
– CBC News

Ever notice in ads for pharmaceuticals that the side effects listed in disclaimers sometimes seem worse than the initial ailment? Just a few examples …
• Amnesia – Although total amnesia is rare, some prescription drugs can, in fact, cause memory loss. What are the odds you forget what’s wrong with you?
• Enlarged Breasts – A hair loss cure on the market has a unique side effect, ‘gynecomastia’, the ability to grow lactating breasts. Unfortunately, the product’s intended for men.
• Cancer/Stroke/Dementia – A drug meant to treat menopause symptoms such as hot flashes has possible side effects that include cancer, stroke, heart attack, blood clots, and dementia.
• Loss of Sense – A drug designed to treat high blood pressure can also cause ‘minor side effects’ such as loss of the sense of smell (anosmia) and taste, ringing in the ears (tinnitus), and eyesight problems such as blurred vision and dry eyes.
• Death – At least one arthritis drug warns it may increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke that can lead to death. Also intestinal bleeding and ulcers can occur without warning and may cause death.


A new offensive has been launched against President Barack Obama and if it catches on it may make Republican criticism seem tame. It’s the new ‘Hope Is Fading Fast’ T-shirt from LA streetwear company Freshjive. What makes this protest significant is that it comes from the left, not right-wing Republicans. Among the dissenters’ grievances with Obama: Breaking his promise to close Guantanamo prison within a year; protecting torturers from accountability; and planning a massive military escalation in Afghanistan. (Has he really lost traction or is it just bad ‘spin’?)


Hugh Hefner & his daughter Christie have spent over 50 years building the image of Playboy Enterprises, which is now up for sale. Iconix Brand Group, a fashion house, has expressed interest but not in the famous magazine, its storehouse of interviews, or its photo archive of naked women. Competition from the Internet has rendered those resources less valuable. The company is seeking a partner in the publishing world to take on the magazine and other “Playboy”-related assets because all they want is … the iconic bunny logo. (Who woulda thought?)
– Reuters

55-year-old Indian businessman Kashi Samaddar has broken a world record by visiting all 194 countries on Earth in the shortest time ever … 6 years, 10 months, and 7 days. He began in 2002 in the Netherlands and finished this year in Kosovo, spending circa $600,000 to achieve the record.
– “Daily Telegraph”

About 47% of retailers surveyed by the National Retail Federation say they plan to increase their use of Facebook, Twitter and other online social networks this holiday season.
– “Minneapolis Star Tribune”


1960 [49] Amy Grant, Augusta GA, country/pop/gospel singer with 6 Grammy Awards (“Simple Things”, “Baby Baby”) who’s sold over 22 million albums/Mrs Vince Gill since 2000

1963 [46] Holly Cole, Halifax NS, jazz/pop singer (“I Can See Clearly Now”, “I’ve Just Seen A Face”)

1968 [41] Jill Hennessy, Edmonton AB, TV actress (“Crossing Jordan” 2001-07, “Law & Order” 1993-96)/movie actress (“Wild Hogs”)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2007)

1971 [38] Christina Applegate, Hollywood CA, TV actress (“Samantha Who?” 2007-09, “Married With Children” 1987-97)/movie actress (“Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy”)/breast cancer survivor  COMING UP: “Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel”, opening December 23rd.

1976 [33] Donovan McNabb, Chicago IL, NFL quarterback (Philadelphia Eagles since 1999)

1983 [26] Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut, San Jose CA, #1-ranked competitive eater as ranked by the International Federation of Competitive Eating


• “International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women”, observed by women’s activists since 1981 and declared an official UN observance in 1999.

• “Shopping Reminder Day”, marking 1 month until Christmas. Just what you wanted to hear, huh?


1949 [60] “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” 1st appears on music charts (while Gene Autry’s rendition is most popular, 80 different versions of the song have been recorded and over 20 million copies sold)


1972 [37] 1st commercial ‘Coin-Operated Video Game’ (“Pong”)

1977 [32] David Steed balances stationary on a bike for a record 9 hours, 15 minutes

[Thurs] Thanksgiving Day (USA)
[Fri] Black Friday
[Sat] Vanier Cup (Québec City)
[Sat] Eid-Al-Adha (Muslim)
[Sun] 2009 Grey Cup (Calgary)
This Week Is … Better Conversation Week
This Month Is … Vegan Month


10. Canadian Canoe Museum (Peterborough ON)
9. International UFO Museum & Research Center (Roswell NM)
8. Sulabh International Museum of Toilets (New Delhi, India)
7. Museum of Menstruation & Women’s Health (Hyattsville MD)
6. Museum of Condoms (Condom, France)
5. National Museum of Funeral History (Houston TX)
4. The Bata Shoe Museum (Toronto ON)
3. The Amsterdam Tattoo Museum (The Netherlands)
2. Exotic World Exotic Dancing Museum (Helendale CA)
1. The Museum of Dirt (Boston MA)
– BS original

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Today’s Question: We get 60 of THESE a year on average , whether we want them or not.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Credit card offers.


Beauty is only a light switch away.

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