Wednesday, November 28, 2007        Edition: #3665
Sweet Sheet!             
 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actress Elizabeth Berkley has signed to join the cast of “CSI: Miami” in a recurring role, playing the ex-wife of ‘Horatio Caine’ (David Caruso) and mother of his newly-discovered son (Liz hasn’t had a lot of work since appearing in 1995′s laughable feature “Showgirls”) . . . Due to ‘scheduling conflicts’, 58-year-old 1960s-era model Twiggy will be leaving her judging job on “America’s Next Top Model” (CW) NEXT SEASON and replaced by 42-year-old 1980s cover girl Paulina Porizkova (yeah, Twiggy’s likely got a really full schedule – 60ish models are in huge demand) . . .  Movie star Jessica Alba (“Fantastic Four”) is attempting to line up a stint on the Broadway stage NEXT YEAR and is currently in talks to star in David Mamet’s “Speed-the-Plow” . . . 64-year-old Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg (“Eastern Promises”, “A History of Violence”) has been signed to write his first-ever novel, tentatively set to be published in 2010 . . . 18-year-old “Heroes” starlet Hayden Panettiere has been selected “GQ” magazine’s ‘Obsession Of the Year’ even though she insists she’s just one of those ‘boring girls’ . . . NBC-TV has picked up its freshman dramas “Chuck” and “Life” for at least 9 more episodes (likely because they already have scripts written) . . . And it’s amazing no one thought of this before – coming in JANUARY the new VH1 show “Celebrity Rehab” will follow pseudo-celebs as they attempt to kick their habits, and among those getting counseling from celeb doc Drew Pinsky will be actors Andy Dick, Brigitte Nielsen, Daniel Baldwin, and Tom Sizemore (they finally found a way to get a job!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – It’s just been announced she’ll be inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame on MARCH 7th during “Canadian Music Week”.
• Jessica Simpson – She’s fueled reports she’s dating Carrie Underwood’s ex-boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, by introducing him to her grandparents on Thanksgiving.
• Kid Rock – He’s set to welcome in 2008 with a drastic new look by chopping off his long hair. He says he may opt for a new slicked-back look.
• Madonna – She’s been branded irresponsible by an animal rights group after posing for “Vogue” magazine’s celebrity homes issue with a group of sheep dyed in different colors. The RSPCA worries the blue, pink, yellow, and green woollies could spark ‘copycat incidents’.
• Jackson Five – According to Jermaine Jackson, the brothers will reunite for a tour sometime in 2008 that will include reclusive Michael. So far, no dates or venues announced. Don’t bet on it.
• Joss Stone – She has a toy poodle named after her idol, legendary late British singer Dusty Springfield.
• Van Halen – They’ve tacked on another 28 cities to their reunion tour which kicked off in SEPTEMBER. Over 600,000 fans have caught their show so far.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Christmas in Rockefeller Center” (NBC): This 10th annual special is highlighted by the lighting of what may be the world’s most famous Christmas tree. Co-hosted by Nick Lachey, Al Roker (“Today”), and Ashley Tisdale (“High School Musical“). Performances by  Carrie Underwood, Celine Dion, Josh Groban, Natasha Bedingfield, Sean Kingston, Taylor Swift, and Tony Bennett.
• Keith Urban – He performs with his friend Monty Powell and jazz singer Anna Wilson at an Alzheimer’s Association event in Atlanta GA. Powell lost his father to early onset Alzheimer’s.
• Kellie Pickler – She’s on this morning’s edition of “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• OJ Simpson – His criminal trial for armed robbery and kidnapping is scheduled to get underway in Las Vegas. The charges stem from his ill-conceived raid on a memorabilia collector in SEPTEMBER.
• Third Eye Blind – The ‘90s alt-rockers perform on a rerun of the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Fee-Harvester Cards’ – Credit cards that are heavily marketed to people who don’t qualify for traditional cards. They offer small credit limits (usually a few hundred dollars) but cardholders are immediately zinged with a number of fees that can eat up as much as 80% of the available limit.
• ‘Legal Process Outsourcing’ – A growing industry in Mumbai, India where local lawyers draw up leases, review documents, and draft contracts for law firms in North America. Why? Indian lawyers charge up to 90% less to perform the menial law jobs that lawyers here find aren’t ‘cost effective’. We’re sure the savings are passed along to clients … as if.
• ‘Power Hour’ – Binge-drinking, from midnight until a bar’s last call, by someone celebrating their coming-of-age. It can involve attempting to drink the number of shots equal to the legal drinking age. This risky rite of passage has become so dangerous 2 US states have outlawed it.

2007′s TACKIEST CELEBS:
Syndicated columnists Marilyn Beck & Stacy Jenel Smith have just released the results of their 30th annual “Tacky Taste Awards” poll. Here’s their ranking of 2007′s ‘Tackiest Celebrities of the Year’ …
10. Paula Abdul (for increasing weirdness on “American Idol”)
9. Lindsay Lohan (for stairwell sex at Cirque Lodge)
8. Denise Richards (for constantly dishing the dirt on her ex-, Charlie Sheen)
7. Ellen DeGeneres (for weeping over a dog’s departure)
6. Alec Baldwin (daddy of the year)
5. Paris Hilton (for living)
4. Rosie O’Donnell (for making a scene on “The View”)
3. Vanessa Hudgens (the candid camera cutie from “High School Musical”)
2. Sarah Silverman (for dissing on the “MTV Music Video Awards”)
1. Britney Spears (for ever leaving her house)
– Netscape Celebrity

HOW TO DRAG A GUY TO A CHICK FLICK:
A new  University of Alberta study finds that men are much more likely to like a chick flick if they’re told it’s a fictional story. Women, on the other hand, generally have a higher level of empathy and tend to enjoy a story more when they know it is real. That may be because men are conditioned to dislike mushy tear-jerkers. When a story is make-believe, however, men can escape reality, detach themselves from cultural gender-role expectations, and simply enjoy the show. (Now how to convince women movie car chases are cool?)
– CTV News

TASTES LIKE CRAP:
A new survey of some of the all-time worst-named books has picked “Cooking With Pooh” as the top title … or maybe bottom. This for-real children’s book from Disney promises to teach kids how to bake ‘yummy tummy cookie cutter treats with Pooh’. The terrible title runner-ups include “Letting It Go: A History of American Incontinence”; “The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification”; and “Everything You’ll Need to Remember About Alzheimer’s”.
– “Atlanta-Journal-Constitution”

BLAME IT ON BALLROOM:
Now that China has instituted ballroom waltzing as an extracurricular course to improve students’ social graces and fitness, many Chinese parents fear their children will fall in love early and neglect their studies once they begin dancing hand-in-hand and making eye contact. Chinese traditional values dictate that teenage boys and girls should not get ‘too close’. (Around here, it’s tough to tell when teens have stopped dancing and started having sex.)
– “Shanghai Daily”

RECORD NOW, PAY LATER:
TiVo, the popular US television-recording device, is finally arriving in Canada in early DECEMBER. The TiVo set-top device, which allows viewers to record shows and skip commercials, will be available across Canada (except Québec) through Best Buy, Future Shop, The Brick, and London Drug for $199. Device owners also need to subscribe to the TiVo service, which has a monthly subscription price of $12.95, with discounts available on long-term contracts. (In case your family just isn’t frittering away enough of their lives in front of the screen.)
– CBC Arts

BS AMAZING FACT:
Because Google’s “I’m feeling lucky” button takes users directly to the top search result, Google doesn’t get to show search ads on 1% of all its searches. The cost? About $110 million-a-year in revenue.
– Valleywag.com

BS CHRONOMETER 11.28.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [58] Paul Shaffer, Thunder Bay ON, TV bandleader (“Late Show With David Letterman” since 1993)/Letterman’s sidekick since 1982

1950 [57] Ed Harris, Tenafly NJ, movie actor (“A History of Violence”, “A Beautiful Mind”) with 4 Oscar nominations but no wins

1952 [55] S Epatha Merkerson, Saginaw MI, TV actress (‘Lt Anita Van Buren’ on “Law & Order” since 1991)/2005 Emmy Award  (“Lackawanna Blues”)

1962 [45] Jon Stewart (Leibowitz), NYC, TV personality (6 Emmy Awards-“The Daily Show”  since 1999)

1974 [33] apl.de.ap (Allan Pineda Lindo), Angeles City, Philippines, pop musician (Black Eyed Peas-“My Humps”, “Where Is the Love?”)

1979 [28] Chamillionaire (Hakeem Seriki), Houston TX, rapper (w/Ciara-“Get Up”, “Ridin’”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Decorate Your Dog Day” to help your pooch get into the holiday spirit. (Tomorrow is ‘Get Back at the Master By Leaving a Present in his Slipper Day’.)

• “French Toast Day”. Either bread dipped in egg and fried … or perhaps a big ol’ glass of Champagne?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1925 [82] 1st radio broadcast of ‘Grand Ole Opry’ (WSM-Nashville)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [10] Danbert Nobacon [NO'-bay-kon] of one-hit-wonder group Chumbawamba (“Tubthumping”) is arrested in Florence, Italy for … wearing a skirt (later released when a cop recognizes the name Chumbawamba)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1895 [112] 1st American auto race begins in Chicago (J Frank Duryea’s winning car averages 7.5 mph, using 3.5 gallons of gasoline … and 19 gallons of water!)

1979 [28] 1st NHL goaltender to score a goal (Billy Smith-NY Islanders)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1985 [22] Errol Bird of Lisbon, Northern Ireland sets world record with 26 hours of continuous yodeling (but he’s never invited to a party again)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Electronic Greetings Day
[Thurs] Square Dance Day
[Fri] International Computer Security Day
[Fri] Stay Home Because You Are Well Day
[Fri] “Awake” opens in movie theaters
This Week Is … Travelers with Disabilities Week
This Month Is … Family Stories Month

BULL’S BITS

BEST ALL-TIME TV BOSSES:
In alphabetical order. Who should be #1?
‘Captain Kirk’ – “Star Trek”
‘Charlie Townsend – “Charlie’s Angels”
‘Colonel Sherman T Potter’ – “M*A*S*H”
‘Lou Grant’ – “Mary Tyler Moore Show”
‘Michael Scott’ – “The Office”
‘Miranda Bailey’ – “Grey’s Anatomy”
‘Mr Burns’ – “The Simpsons”
‘Mr Carlson’ – “WKRP in Cincinnati”
‘Sam Malone’ – “Cheers”
‘Tony Soprano’ – “The Sopranos”
– TV Land

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which famous icon would you most like to bring back from the dead? (According to a new poll, some of the those we’d most like back are Princess Diana, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, John Lennon, and George Harrison.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I wanted to go the Paranoids Anonymous meeting, but they wouldn’t tell me where it was.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THESE went out of favor in the 1970s but are now more popular again with 25 billion being used this year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Paper bags.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.


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