Thursday, November 22, 2007                   Edition: #3661
Can You Believe This Sheet?

Madonna is said to be considering an offer for her 11-year-old daughter Lourdes (nicknamed Lola) to appear in the next ‘Harry Potter’ movie, “Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince” (let’s hope she doesn’t have mommy’s acting genes) . . . Oft-rehabbed Brit rocker Pete Doherty says he’s doing his best to support trouble-prone Amy Winehouse, phoning her daily to offer her advice (it’s the pot calling the kettle) . . . Nicole Richie is lending her name to a bizarre campaign to promote Swedish inventor Lennart Jarrelbro’s latest creation – public dog urinals (Save the Hydrants!) . . . Yet 2 more movies have been postponed due to the writers’ strike – Johnny Depp’s “Shantaram” and the bigscreen version of the Broadway musical “Nine” have both been pushed back several months (there’s going to be a long drought at the box office in ‘08) . . . Just days after he was arrested for a drunken outburst at Dublin Airport, “Tudors” star Jonathon Rhys Meyers has another crisis to face – his 51- year-old mother has died of a stroke in Cork, Ireland . . . . Meantime, Rhys Meyers tells the new issue of “Details magazine his boozing days are over, although it’s tough because ‘he’s Irish & 30-years-old’ (presumably the interview was done awhile ago) . . . And 41-year-old former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson has completed his most recent 24-hour jail sentence, during which he served his time in a Scottsdale AZ lockdown wearing a black & white jumpsuit and – pink underwear (too much information?).

• Janet Jackson – She’s writing about her fluctuating weight battles in a currently untitled book which will also include nutritional diet tips.
• Madonna – Her plan to add a 2nd Malawian child to her family, 13-month-old orphan Mercy James, may be stymied as the child’s uncle is attempting to block the move. She & film director husband Guy Richie successfully adopted son David Banda from Malawi LAST YEAR.
• Rod Stewart – The 62-year-old says he’s preparing himself to be a father of 8 because his 37-year-old model-photographer wife Penny Lancaster wants another baby.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Billy Corgan is helping set up a museum dedicated to late electronic synthesizer pioneer Dr Robert Moog. Moog synthesizers were one of the first widely-used electronic musical instruments.
• U2 – Bono’s daughter was the target of an $8-million kidnap plot when she was just 4-years-old, according to a new book by the daughter of Irish gangster Martin Cahill. The author claims it was her father, nicknamed ‘The General’, who vetoed the 1994 plan.

• Akon – He’s on “Late Late Night With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Billy Ray Cyrus – He’s a guest on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (CityTV).
• Brooks & Dunn – They do “The View” (ABC).
• John Mayer – He’s on a rerun of ”Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade – THIS MORNING the annual NYC extravaganza includes performances by Andrea Bocelli, Barenaked Ladies, Andrea Bocelli, Fantasia, Jose Feliciano, Wynonna, and the Muppets.
• Nelly Furtado – She performs on a rerun on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC). Ratings on the show are off almost 20% since the writers’ strike began.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Alice in Wonderland“ – A 3-D version of the animated classic is part of a  2-picture deal director Tim Burton has signed with Disney. He’ll also produce the pic, as well as a feature-length remake of his own 1984 short “Frankenweenie”.
• “Bond 22” – Thai-born actress Jewel is said to be the favorite to win the role of the ‘Bond girl’ in the next ‘007′ film. The oh-so-modest 23-year-old beauty says, “I’ve got a great body and I’ve been training a lot for the past 3 years.” Screenwriter Paul Haggis (“Crash”) says the film will pick up just 2 minutes after “Casino Royale” ended, when a wounded ‘Mr White’ is confronted by ‘James Bond’.
• “Justice League“ – Former “OC” star Adam Brody has beaten out Justin Long for the role of ‘The Flash’ in the upcoming superhero movie. Several insiders claim that rapper Common will play ‘John Stewart’/’The Green Lantern’ in the film.
• “Zack & Miri” – Vancouver-born actor Seth Rogen (“Knocked Up”) & Elizabeth Banks (“40 Year Old Virgin”) have signed on to star in Kevin Smith’s off-color comedy about childhood friends who ask their pals to make an adult movie in order to get them out of debt. After everyone has relations with everyone else, ‘Zack’ and ‘Miri’ begin to re-evaluate their platonic relationship.

A German scientist claims he’s come up with a solution for snoring – a computerized pillow that alters the head’s sleeping position until the noise stops. The pillow reduces or enlarges its air compartments to facilitate nasal airflow and thereby minimize snoring as the user shifts during sleep, according to its inventor Daryoush Bazargani. (Or if that doesn’t work, simply hold it over the snorer’s face and press firmly for about 3 minutes.)
– Reuters

The UK government is helping to fund an innovative project to create a solar power film which could be used to cover buildings, roofs, and even windows in order to generate cheap electricity. It’s estimated that within a decade, the ‘photovoltaic’ film, which would use organic compounds to make the power, could provide enough energy to save more than 1 million tons of carbon dioxide emissions per year. (What a handy wrap!)
– BBC News

Japanese guru Hideto Tomabechi has come up with a cellphone ringtone which he claims helps women’s breasts grow larger. He says it does that by using ‘positive brainwashing‘, subliminal sounds which make the brain and body move unconsciously. At least one consumer is endorsing the bizarre invention. A woman who admits she was dubious at first says her 34-inch bust incredibly grew to 35 inches after just 1 week. Tomabechi is currently working on other tones designed to help people quit smoking, combat baldness and … find a lover.  (That one will cost you 2.99 a minute.)
– “The Register”

Scientists have developed an anesthetic from a chemical found in chilies that can block pain without affecting a person’s movement or mental awareness. Capsaicin is thought to relieve pain without disrupting other biological functions, and is expected to be used as an alternative to epidurals during childbirth. (“Your labor pains are now 1 minute apart. Do you want the 6-inch hypo jabbed into your lower spine … or a teaspoon of salsa?”)
– “The Times”

A new survey of some 1,000 adults finds that 1-in-5 people feels stressed even before having breakfast. The biggest stress factors cited are ‘money worries’, followed by ‘work pressures’ and ‘relationships’. The poll also suggests up to half the population struggles to sleep at night. (Best way not to be stressed first thing in the morning … sleep in!)
– “Daily Telegraph”

A 3-year study of 40,000 employees in a variety of workplaces by consulting firm Cognisco finds some shocking results …
• Upwards of 80% of workers are just no good at their jobs, but many don’t realize it nor do their employers because they avoid making any big blunders.
• About 40% of those who are the most confident of their abilities are, in fact, hopelessly inept.
• Only 18% perform at a sufficient level to competently do their job on a regular basis.
– Reuters

A professor of bio-medical engineering at the Institute of Technology in Delhi, India may have invented the next big thing in birth control. The ‘Reversible Inhibition of Sperm Under Guidance’ (RISUG) is, he claims, the perfect contraceptive for men which can render them incapable of fertility for about 10 years. So far, RISUG has been tested without any problems on 250 volunteers, and if clinical testing continues to be positive, it will be on the market in India NEXT YEAR. So how’s it work? A simple injection into a region of a guy’s anatomy where he wouldn’t usually let himself be injected. (Ow … did you just feel a twinge?)

Germany’s Siemens Mobile is developing a cellphone with a tiny sensor that alerts users if they’ve got bad breath or body odor. The tiny microchip examines the air in the immediate vicinity of the phone for anything odorous from bad breath to alcohol to gas levels. Soon you’ll be able to check your voicemail and your breath at the same time. (Let me show you this prototype, [co-host]. SFX: loud claxon)
– “Wired”

• Siblings with one shared parent can marry in Sweden. (So your mom can also be your aunt.)
• In California, infants can start working in the film industry when they are just 15-days-old, provided that they have a note from a physician attesting that they were not born prematurely and are of normal birth weight. (“Let’s do another take, I didn’t like the lighting on my diaper.”)
– “Slate Magazine”

“I know there are music genres, mostly heavy metal, that can provoke – combined with some hallucinogens – young people to jump out of the windows of cars while driving at high speed. I’m opposed to that kind of music.”
– Iran’s Minister of Culture, Mohamed Hosein Sarrar-Harandi, explaining the problem with rock & roll to Spanish newspaper “El Pais”.


1940 [67] Terry Gilliam, Minneapolis MN, movie director (“The Brothers Grimm”)/screenwriter (“Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas”)/former TV animator (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus”)

1950 [57] ‘Little Steven’ Van Zandt, Winthrop MA, rock guitarist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band)/TV actor (‘Silvio Dante’ on “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)

1958 [49] Jamie Lee Curtis, LA CA, movie actress (“Freaky Friday”, “True Lies”)/daughter of actors Janet Leigh & Tony Curtis

1984 [23] Scarlett Johannson, NYC, movie star (“The Prestige”, “Lost in Translation”)/”Esquire” magazine’s “Sexiest Woman Alive 2006”

• “St Cecilia’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of music.

• “Start Your Own Country Day”, a good excuse to ask listeners what 3 things would be different if they ran their own nation. How about no taxes, no taxes, and no taxes?

• “Stop The Violence Day”, observed annually on the anniversary of the assassination of US President John F Kennedy (1963).

• “Thanksgiving Day” in America, a yearly tradition since 1879. Canadian Thanksgiving was originally celebrated at the same time as in the US, but was eventually moved to the 2nd MONDAY of OCTOBER to reflect the earlier harvest season.

1996 [11] “Star Trek: First Contact”, reuniting the cast members of the TV series “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, opens in movie theaters

1934 [73] 1st performance of the holiday classic “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (Eddie Cantor’s radio show)

1917 [90] ‘National Hockey League’ 1st organized by Board of Governors meeting at Montréal’s Windsor Hotel (Montréal Canadiens, Montréal Wanderers, Toronto Arenas, and Ottawa Senators begin play December 19, 1917, then Wanderers drop out after Westmount Arena burns down)

1981 [26] 1st team to win 4 consecutive Grey Cups (Edmonton Eskimos, who go on to win a 5th in 1982)

1999 [08] ‘The Great One’, Wayne Gretzky, is inducted into the “Hockey Hall of Fame” as the 10th and last player to have the 3-year waiting period waived by the selection committee due to ‘outstanding pre-eminence and skill’ (such as 61 NHL records)

1950 [57] Lowest-ever NBA score (Ft Wayne Pistons 19, Minneapolis Lakers 18)

[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Fri] Sinkie Day
[Fri] 2007 Vanier Cup (St Mary’s vs Manitoba in Toronto)
[Sat] Beaver Moon (Full Moon of November)
[Sat] Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
[Sun] 95th Grey Cup (Winnipeg vs Saskatchewan in Toronto)
This Week Is … Adoption Week
This Month Is … Military Family Appreciation Month


– “I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well”
– “If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I’d Be Out of Prison by Now”
– “Her Teeth Was Stained but Her Heart Was Pure”
– “It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chewed Your Ass out All Day Long”
– “I Ain’t Never Gone to Bed With Ugly Women, But I’ve Sure Woke Up With a Few”

What is the chief export of the island nation of Nauru [now-ROO] in the western Pacific?
a. Edible grubs.
b. Rats.
c. Bird poop. [CORRECT. If you’re in need of guano, Nauru’s just the ticket!]

• Most brides in China wear what color of wedding dress?
a. Red, because it signifies happiness. [CORRECT]
b. Green, because it signifies fertility.
c. White, because it signifies purity.

• To whom did Vincent van Gogh give his left ear after he cut it off following an argument with fellow artist Paul Gauguin?
a. His mother.
b. A prostitute. [CORRECT]
c. Gauguin’s wife.

What’s your favorite food combo? (Spaghetti & meatballs? Mac & cheese? Peanut butter & jelly? Roast turkey & chocolate sauce?)

I get car sickness from just looking at the sticker price.

Today’s Question: The average Canadian walks 40 km a year doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Going to the photocopier or printer.

The early worm gets devoured by the early bird.

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