Friday, November 9, 2007       Edition: #3652
Good Morning, Sheetheads!

That Boston priest arrested on charges of stalking TV talk show host Conan O’Brien was easy for cops to track down – he kept writing threatening notes on his parish letterhead (the enclosed MapQuest print-out with directions to his rectory also helped) . . . One-time Weight Watchers spokeswoman Whoopi Goldberg is back on a diet after gaining 50 lbs since becoming a co-host on “The View” SEPTEMBER 4th (what a dangerous way to get back your endorsement deal!) . . . Actress Lindsay Lohan’s smashed-up 2005 Mercedes-Benz SL-Class is up for grabs on eBay with a starting bid of $110,000, the car she drove all over Beverly Hills hitting things before checking into rehab the last time (driven only 6,200 miles but involved in 12,000 accidents) . . . Music-based video game “Guitar Hero III” has grossed more than $100 million in its first week of sale in North America, making it the 2nd-biggest title of the year after “Halo 3″ ($170 million in its first day!) . . . Michael Jackson might be about to lose his Neverland ranch in California as Santa Barbara County has served notice that the property may be sold to pay off back-taxes and a series of payments to creditors (that’ll have his nose out-of-joint) . . . TV actor Dominic Monaghan has been spotted crying, conversing & kissing with an unknown woman in a trendy Los Angeles restaurant, leading to speculation he’s split with his long-term fiancée and “Lost” co-star Evangeline Lilly (ironically the show’s next episode [airing in FEBRUARY] is entitled “The Beginning of the End”) . . . And casting directors for the new “Star Trek” movie (due DECEMBER 2008) have announced an open casting call for ‘odd-looking people’ wishing to appear as extras in the JJ Abrams-directed sci-fi film (at last, [co-host’s] big break in show biz!).

• Amy Winehouse – She’s failed to show up to shoot her new video. After waiting 15 hours, crew members were finally sent home. Total cost of this latest fiasco … circa $140,000.
• The Eagles – Don Henley has confirmed that their #1 album “Long Road Out Of Eden” will be their final output together.
• Jennifer Lopez – She’s facing the ax from Epic Records after disappointing sales of her 7th and most recent album, “Brave”. But word has it more than weak sales are involved in the decision as the label is reportedly fed up with her high maintenance costs, such as a makeup fee circa $8,000 for each promotional appearance.
• Justin Timberlake – He’s signed young Esmee Denters to his fledgling record label, the young Dutch singer who became a YouTube sensation by singing Otis Redding’s “Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay” on her sister’s webcam.
• The Killers – Their new tune “Tranquilize” features rock legend Lou Reed on guitar and gravelly, speak-sing vocals. The video also features Reed, his face in the shadows alongside Brandon Flowers. Meantime, the band is said to be going after Elton John for their next collaboration.
• KT Tunstall – The Scottish singer is furious that her songs have been regularly butchered by contestants on “American Idol” or – as she refers to it – that ‘money-making puppet show’.
• Tim McGraw – He & wife Faith Hill have helped raise more than $300,000 for brain tumor research during the Tug McGraw Foundation’s 3rd annual fundraising gala in St Louis MO.

• Chris Brown – TONIGHT he does the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Jerry Lee Lewis – SATURDAY he’s honored in a Rock & Roll Hall of Fame-sponsored concert in Cleveland OH. Among those performing: George Thorogood, Kris Kristofferson, Shelby Lynne, and TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart (a cousin of Lewis’). It’s part of the 12th annual “American Music Masters” series at Case Western Reserve University.
• Jon Bon Jovi – He hosts a rerun of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), with musical guests the Foo Fighters.
• “Keith Urban: Invitation Only” (CMT) – TONIGHT he performs in a 1-hour, acoustic-only concert special that will also stream online at
• Michael Buble – THIS MORNING he’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).

• “Fred Claus” ( PG Seasonal Comedy ): Vince Vaughn stars as the slacker older brother of Santa Claus (Paul Giamatti) who’s forced to work off his debt to society by making toys at the North Pole after landing in jail. Made by the same people who did “Wedding Crashers”. Co-stars Miranda Richardson, and a slumming Rachel Weisz.
• “Lions for Lambs” ( R-Rated War Drama ): Tom Cruise & Meryl Streep star as a congressman with an eye on the White House & the TV journalist that he promises an explosive scoop about injured American soldiers in Afghanistan. Robert Redford directs and plays an altruistic college professor.
• “P2” ( R-Rated Horror ): A hard-working young executive who’s toiled late into the night on Christmas Eve has trouble getting her car started in her office’s parking garage, so she seeks help from a security guard … who turns out to be a creep who’s been stalking her for months. Stars Rachel Nichols (“The Amityville Horror”) and Wes Bentley (“Ghost Rider”).

An expert in animal behavior at Queen’s University in Belfast, Northern Ireland claims to have finally settled the long-debated question over whether lobsters experience hurt. Robert Elwood says a new study of prawns shows that they react defensively when acetic acid is placed on their antennae and that apparently proves that crustaceans do, in fact, feel pain. Animal rights activists who disagree with lobsters being boiled alive will be thrilled. (We can only hope this news causes the price of a lobster dinner to dip below a thousand dollars.)
– “The Guardian”

Fantastic news for beer-league athletes, thanks to a Spanish scientist who claims that a pint of beer is a perfectly good drink after a workout. Professor Manual Garzon of Granada University experimented with students doing strenuous exercise in temperatures of 40 C (104 F). In a press conference underneath a banner reading ‘Beer, Sport, Health’, the good doctor has announced that beer is ‘slightly better’ for re-hydrating the body than water, and that the bubbles in beer help quench thirst better. (The brewers of San Miguel now deliver to his home.)
– “Curious Times”

An Austrian-American research team has documented the moves of men on the prowl in bars for the journal “Evolution & Human Behavior”. Among their observations …
• They average 13 glances in a half-hour at the target female.
• They are more likely to stand or sit with their legs wide apart and hands on hips.
• They make an average of 19 ‘space maximization’ moves in a half-hour such as expansive gestures, sprawling across seating, or resting their arms on adjacent seats.
• They make ‘dominant male’ gestures towards fellow men, jokingly punching them, tapping them on the shoulder, slapping them on the back, or elbowing them in the ribs.
• They stroke their beard area, an implicit signal to draw attention to facial features.
Then there’s the giveaway sign of a man who’s not about to ‘score’ – crossed arms and drooped shoulders. (Or the given name of [co-host].)
– “The Times”

A highlight at the recent “Invention Convention” in Columbus, Ohio was a creation by 8-year-old twins Jared & Justin Serovich … ‘wedgie-proof underwear’. Fully adjustable and machine washable, their ‘Rip Away 1000′ tightie-whities let you stroll confidently, even when there are large groups of dim-witted, attention-seeking bullies lurking about. The bully-proof briefs are made with Velcro along the bottom and side-seams so when someone tries to give you a wedgie, they just rip away … thus explaining the invention’s name. It was a clever-enough creation to land the lads a guest-shot on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”. (We bet she cried.)
– “Columbus Dispatch”

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences (the Oscars people) have announced plans for what will be the world’s largest museum dedicated to film. It’s expected to become a huge tourist attraction when it opens in 2012. Acclaimed French architect Christian de Portzamparc will design a stunning building for an 8-acre space facing the iconic ‘Hollywood’ sign in Los Angeles. (Hopefully he makes it fireproof.)
– Reuters

“The Guinness Book of World Records” has crowned a new champ as the ‘World’s Hottest Chili Pepper’. The Bhut Jolokia (Ghost Chili) from Assam, India has taken over the title after it scored a blistering 1 million Scoville heat units (SHUs), more than double the 577,000 SHUs of the previous champion, America’s Red Savina. By comparison, an average bell pepper ranks 0 SHUs; Tabasco sauce scores 2,500-to-5,000; and a jalapeno 5,000-to-15,000. (Safe handling of the new champ requires a HazMat suit.)

The Chinese media are reporting that there have now been 3,500 children named ‘Aoyun’ – the Chinese word for ‘Olympics’ – since Beijing first started bidding for the 2008 Olympic Games back in 2000.
– AP


1948 [59] Robert David Hall, East Orange NJ, TV actor (Medical Examiner ‘Dr Al Robbins’ on “CSI” since 2000)  FACTOID: He uses prosthetics due to amputation of both legs following an auto accident in 1978.

1969 [38] Pepa (Sandra Denton), Queens NY, hip-hop artist (Salt-N-Pepa-“Push It”, “Shoop”)

1972 [35] Eric Dane, San Francisco CA, TV actor (‘Dr Mark Sloan’ [‘McSteamy’] on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2006)

1973 [34] Nick Lachey, Harlan KY, TV personality (“Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica” 2003-05)/pop singer (“What’s Left of Me”, 98 Degrees-“I Do Cherish You”)/ex-Mr Jessica Simpson (2002-06)

1978 [29] Sisqo (Mark Andrews), Baltimore MD, hip-hop artist (“Thong Song”, Dru Hill-“These Are The Times”)

1988 [19] Nikki Blonsky, Great Neck NY, movie actress (‘Tracy Turnblad’ in “Hairspray”)

Country singer Chris Cagle (“What Kinda Gone”) is 39; Comedian Tracy Morgan (“30 Rock”) is 39; Actress Ellen Pompeo (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 38; Rock singer/guitarist Jim Adkins (Jimmy Eat World) is 32; Actress Brittany Murphy (“Sin City”) is 30; Rapper Eve (w/Gwen Stefani-“Let Me Blow Ya Mind”) is 29; Country singer Miranda Lambert (“Famous in a Small Town”) is 24.

Legendary comedian Jonathan Winters is 82; Movie actress Demi Moore (“Ghost”) is 45; TV actress Calista Flockhart (“Brothers & Sisters”) is 43; TV personality Carson Kressley (“Queer Eye”) is 38; Movie actor Leonardo DiCaprio (“The Departed”) is 34.

• “Canadian Finals Rodeo” through Sunday in Edmonton. Yeehaw!
• “Chaos Never Dies Day” … the reason there are 24-hour news channels.
• “Diwali” [also spelled and pronounced ‘Divali’] begins, a major Indian festival celebrated across the globe for 5 consecutive days at the end of the Hindu month Ashwayuja. Also known as the ‘Festival of Light’, where lamps signify the victory of good over the evil. Traditional earthen lamps and fireworks are symbols of the celebration.
• “Gingerbread House Day”. If you’re gonna have one for the holiday season, now’s the time to start!
• “US Marine Corp Birthday”, celebrating the establishment of the USMC 232 years ago in  1775. Semper Fi. HOO-rah!

• “Forget-Me-Not Day”, a day for remembering those whose lives have touched us in some way. You’re encouraged to think of people who had an impact on your life and the way in which they changed it. (Then go see a lawyer and file charges.)

• “Martinmas”, the annual Christian observance when they stage the “Martinmas Goose Celebration” in front of the town hall of Sursee, Switzerland. Blindfolded participants try to cut down a suspended goose with a single sword stroke. The warm weather that often occurs around this time is called ‘St Martin’s Summer’ in Europe, ‘Indian Summer’ in North America.
• “Remembrance Day”, commemorating the end of WWI at 11 am on the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. It’s observed in Canada, Britain, the USA (renamed Veterans Day in 1954), Belgium & France (Armistice Day).
– French Army clerk Henri Deledicq finished typing the peace treaty that would end WWI at 5 am 11/11/18. Apparently tired, he put the carbon paper in backwards and later in a railroad car in France, military leaders signed copies of an armistice that were completely unreadable.
– The Remembrance Day poppy program run by the Canadian Legion raises over $5 million each year for veterans’ causes.
– The original tradition is to observe TWO minutes silence at 11 am.
• “Veterans’ Day”, the 88th annual observance of what was originally called “Armistice Day” until it was renamed in 1954. It commemorates the end of WWI at 11 am on the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. The day now honors all military veterans.
– Observed as “Remembrance Day” in Canada & Britain; “Armistice Day” in Belgium & France.
– French Army clerk Henri Deledicq finished typing the peace treaty that would end WW I at 5 am 11/11/18. Apparently tired, he put the carbon paper in backwards and later in a railroad car in France, military leaders signed copies of an armistice that were completely unreadable.
– President Warren G Harding dedicated the “Tomb of the Unknown Soldier” at Arlington National Cemetery 86 years ago (1921).
– Kate Smith sang the Irving Berlin song “God Bless America” in public for the first time during an “Armistice Day” radio broadcast 68 years ago today (1939).
– America’s participation in the Vietnam War officially ended 35 years ago (1972).
– President Ronald Reagan dedicated the US Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington 23 years ago (1984).

1967 [40] “Rolling Stone” magazine debuts with John Lennon pictured on the cover and a free ‘roach clip’ attached

1907 [100] 1st game for ‘Edmonton Rugby Foot-ball Club’ (forerunner of Eskimos) as team loses to ‘Calgary City Rugby Foot-ball Club’ (forerunner of Stampeders) 26-5 (at the end of the 2007 season, Edmonton leads the all-time series between the clubs with a 118-75-4 record)

1911 [96] Frenchman Georges Claude patents the ‘Neon Sign’ after experimenting with passing an electrical charge through gas (Las Vegas is glad he did!)

1993 [14] Crayola announces new food-inspired crayon colors ‘Granny Smith Apple’, ‘Asparagus’ and ‘Macaroni & Cheese’ (and kids begin eating their art)

[Tues] “Spice Girls Greatest Hits” released
[Tues] Led Zeppelin “Mothership” released
[Tues] Paul McCartney’s “The McCartney Years” DVD set released
[Tues] World Kindness Day
[Tues] Mix It Up at Lunch Day
[Wed] World Diabetes Day
This Week Is … Long-Term Care Awareness Week
This Month Is … Cozy Cuddles for Kids Month


The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Baby Bash – “Cyclone”
4. Nickelback – “Rockstar”
3. Fergie – “Big Girls Don’t Cry”
2. Alicia Keys – “No One”
1. Soulja Boy – “Crank Dat Soulja Boy”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

Would you consider living apart from your spouse … while still staying married?  

She just joined ‘Alcoholics Alias’. It’s a group in which you continue to drink … but under an assumed name.

Today’s Question: Employees who do THIS are more likely to enjoy a fatter pay cheque than those who don’t.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Socialize with their co-workers after-hours.

The problem with getting a life is making the payments.

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