Wednesday, November 29, 2006        Edition: #3419
Can You Believe This Sheet?

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the 9th annual “Christmas at Rockefeller Center” special airs from NYC (NBC), featuring performances by Bette Midler, Christina Aguilera, Enya, John Legend, Lionel Ritchie, Martina McBride, Sarah McLachlan, Sting, and Taylor Hicks plus, of course, the 74th annual lighting of the gigantic Rockefeller Center Christmas tree . . . How appropriate that Pam Anderson & Kid Rock have filed TWO divorce petitions after THREE wedding ceremonies and just FOUR months of marriage . . . Meantime, word has leaked that the beginning of their split may have been at a private preview of the “Borat” movie in the producer’s home, where Kid Rock loudly lambasted Pammy for ‘humiliating herself’ in the film (Quote: “You’re nothing but a wh—! You’re a slut! How could you do that movie?”) . . . A $25-million theme park & memorial museum honoring legendary martial arts actor Bruce Lee (“Fists of Fury”, “Enter the Dragon”) planned for his Chinese ancestral home of Shunde near Hong Kong is expected to be completed in 3 years . . . The feud between Apple Computers & Apple Records may be over as rumors are floating that the 2 Apples are close to a deal that would bring The Beatles music catalogue online for the first time, and give the iTunes store an exclusive on it for a limited time . . . Now that former footballer Emmitt Smith has locked up the 3rd “Dancing with the Stars” championship, speculation is hot on who’ll participate in the next series, with Britain’s Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson, and none other than movie star Jennifer Aniston among those said to be interested . . . And relatively unknown Bulgarian pop singer Lora Ivanova is awaiting a ruling on her attempt to legally change her name to ‘Madona’, insisting she’s not trying to cash in on the fame of the name – after all, she’ll only use a single ‘n’ in the spelling (then why not pick someone who isn’t over-the-hill and in the glide path to retirement, honey?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alan Jackson – 4 highway signs near his hometown of Newnan GA have been stolen, likely by fans wanting a memento of the stretch of road named after him. The Georgia Department of Transportation promises they’ll be replaced ASAP. Why don’t they just sell them?
• Arctic Monkeys – They’re denying rumors that frontman Alex Turner is starting up a new band to be called The Rascals, insisting reports of the side-project are totally false. The name’s already been used anyway.
• Ciara – TONIGHT she performs on the “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Coldplay – THIS WEEK Chris Martin did a surprise performance at a London club to try out a new tune called “Bucket for a Crown”, which he’d penned only hours before. He promised that if audience reaction was bad he’d give the tune away to The Killers. Does falling asleep count?
• James Blunt – TONIGHT he’s a guest on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Montgomery Gentry – THIS WEEK Troy Gentry pleaded guilty to falsely classifying a bear as ‘wild‘ after killing it on a wildlife preserve and has been fined $15,000, ordered to return the bear-hide, and banned from hunting in Minnesota for 5 years.

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Adminisphere’ – The upper levels of management where all the really big, impractical and counterproductive decisions are made. (“Just got a memo from the adminisphere, the station is changing format to Urban Punk Christian Country.”)
• ‘PURE’ (Previously Undiscovered Recruiting Error) – A new employee who looked good on paper but can’t cut it on-the-job. (“The new traffic reporter is definitely a real PURE. Her qualifications are stellar, but she’s so rude!”)
• ‘Sleepdriving’ – A newly identified sleep disorder in which a person drives a vehicle while still asleep. (As a public service during this morning’s commute we’d like to say … “HEY, WAKE UP!”)

DECORATING DECORUM:
No one wants to be vilified for their seasonal decor like Danny DeVito’s character in the new movie “Deck the Halls”. Decorating expert Bridget Wayland offers the following style notes for holiday season lighting displays …
• Unless you’re a deep-sea fisherman, avoid draping your shrubs with electric-light netting. It makes them look like things you’ve just hauled in from the sea.
• Lights with dark-green wires go on trees, lights with white wires go on your house (if you have a white house). You want the wires to blend into the background so all you see is the pretty lights.
• Don’t go large if you can’t deliver the goods. It’s tricky for a lit tree to look great when you only have enough lights for the bottom half. Just pick a smaller subject.
– “Harrowsmith Country Life”

U TUBE ON U PHONE:
US cellphone network Verizon Wireless will soon begin offering a mobile YouTube service, which will allow users to view YouTube content on their phone and upload videos shot with their camera phones. The partnership is the first big deal for YouTube since it was acquired by Google earlier THIS MONTH. The new service will be offered for no additional fee as part of Verizon’s ‘V Cast’ service. The exact launch day is still up in the air as the technologies being used are still being tested. (Now no matter where you are when you do something stupid, someone’s gonna put it online in a flash.)
– “Forbes”

THE KEY TO LIVING A CENTURY?
Firstborn children of women younger than 25 are nearly twice as likely to live beyond age 100, according to a new study at the University of Chicago’s Center for Aging. Although there is no clear answer yet as to why, scientists believe it may be related to the physical youthfulness of the moms and the eggs they produce. (This is why [co-host] only dates girls in school uniforms.)
– “Newsday”

NEIGHBORS TALK MORE IN SUBURBS:
A new joint study by Ireland’s Dublin City University and the University of California at Irvine suggests that residents of suburbia are friendlier with neighbors than residents of cities. The study finds that, with every 10% drop in population density, people become 10% more likely to speak to their neighbors at least once a week. Researchers say the findings may be partly due to the fact that city folk have people in their face all the time and develop a need for privacy. (So let’s see, if there’s 100% less population … you’re 100% more likely to speak to a neighbor?)
– “Los Angeles Times”

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• In Ireland, an unlucky 30-year-old bandit has been hospitalized after a truck struck him as he tried to flee a robbery. But that’s just his most recent mishap. Previously, he’s been stuck in a chimney after a botched burglary, and rescued from a bank’s ceiling where he was pinned by a security device, with cash stuffed in his underwear. Cops have told him to have told to take up a new career … before he kills himself.
• Now here’s a guy who simply isn’t on the ball. In Kansas, a 23-year-old wannabe kidnapper in Wichita who attempted to shoot at a teen he and 2 accomplices were trying to abduct missed his mark. But when he put the gun back into his waistband, it went off … nicking his left testicle.
• In Britain, a worker at Madame Tussauds’ wax museum in London may lose his job after his ex-girlfriend leaked photos of him … fooling with the figurines. Among the candid snaps were shots of him kissing singer Kyle Minogue’s famous fanny, grabbing disabled physicist Stephen Hawking, and choking London’s Lord Mayor Ken Livingstone. With typical British understatement, a museum spokesperson says, “We do not encourage this.” This guy’s now on the increasingly long list of those who can brag that they spent the night with Paris Hilton.
• In Portugal, a driver took a wrong turn in Porto, the country’s 2nd-largest city, and ended up heading … down a subway tunnel. The 50-something driver veered down a ramp set aside for emergency vehicles during the morning commute and drove about 550 yards on the tracks, forcing all trains in the tunnels to be halted halt. “Whoa, is that a motorcycle coming straight at me?”

MEASURING ‘MENTAL HEALTH DAYS’:
Highlights of a new Career Builder survey on employee absences …
• 45% of managers have caught an employee calling in sick with a fake excuse.
• 27% of employers have fired employees for using bogus excuses to miss work.
• 32% of employees admit they’ve called in sick when they felt fine.
• 10%  of employees say they fake sick 3 or more times per year.
• Reasons for mental health days range from ‘running errands’, to ‘unbreakable plans with family and friends’, to ‘housework’ and ‘relaxation’.
• Among the lamest excuses for time off: “My dog swallowed my bus pass”; “I’m locked in a bathroom stall and there’s no one here to help me”; “I have bad hiccups”; and … “I’m sad.” (Not half as sad as you’re gonna be when you find out you’re canned.)
– AHN

FOR THE RECORD:
37-year-old Jon Sanford of Jackson WI is looking for confirmation that he’s broken the “Guinness World Record” for longest hair … on his arms. His longest strand measures 4.1 inches which, if ruled official, eclipses the previous record of 3.96 inches. How did he do it? He says he takes good care of his hair, washing it regularly and sometimes even conditioning it.
His mother describes the fearsome follicles as ‘gross’ but his daughter thinks they’re ‘cool’. (At least, compared to his furry back.)
– “NY Daily News”

DID YOU KNOW?
There are more than 100 chemicals in one cup of coffee.

AND WE QUOTE:
“Kate Winslet is my ideal woman. She is naturally a very shapely woman, very British with an underlying integrity and ability. Like a car, she has got substance, she is not just a pretty face. So I designed the new XK body with her in mind.”
–  Jaguar’s chief designer Ian Callum on the inspiration for the car-maker’s new model.

THE BULL SHEET 11.29.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1932 [74] Jacques Chirac, Paris, France, President of the French Republic since 1995

1940 [66] Denny Doherty, Halifax NS, oldies singer (The Mamas & the Papas-“California Dreamin’”)

1954 [52] Joel Coen, Minneapolis MN, movie director/screenwriter (Coen Bros-“O Brother, Where Art Thou?”, “Fargo”)/brother of filmmaking partner Ethan Coen/married to actress Frances McDormand since 1984

1955 [51] Howie Mandel, Toronto ON, TV game show host (“Deal or No Deal”)/stand-up comedian/sometime movie & TV actor  FACTOID: 5 special editions of “Deal or No Deal” will be taped on-location in Toronto in JANUARY.

1961 [45] Tom Sizemore, Detroit MI, movie actor (“Black Hawk Down”, “Saving Private Ryan”)/drug rehab vet/convicted of domestic violence against Heidi Fleiss (1993)

1964 [42] Don Cheadle, Kansas City MO, movie actor (“Hotel Rwanda”, “Ocean’s Eleven”)

1981 [25] Ringo Garza, San Angelo TX, pop drummer (Los Lonely Boys-“My Way”, “Heaven”)

1982 [24] Lucas Black, Speake AL, movie actor (“The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift”, “Friday Night Lights”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Electronic Greetings Day”, another excuse to junk up other people’s e-mail, page messaging, voicemail, etc with useless chaff you’d never think of writing down on a piece of paper and buying a stamp to send. Great idea though!

• “Square Dance Day”, a chance to get out and ‘dosey-doe’ with your partner. So swing your partner ‘round and ‘round, pick ‘im on up and throw ‘im on the ground. Yee haw!

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1986 [20] The 5-album set, “Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band Live/1975-85”, debuts at #1

2001 [05] George Harrison of The Beatles dies  in LA of cancer at age 58

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1775 [231] 1st ‘Invisible Ink’ invented by Sir James Jay (but how can we be sure?)

1924 [82] 1st NHL game at the old Montréal Forum (Canadiens 7, Leafs 1)

1934 [72] 1st traditional ‘Thanksgiving Day NFL Game’ in Detroit (and the tradition of losing begins as Chicago Bears beat Lions 19-16)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1936 [70] An Iowa father and son marry sisters, making the son his father’s brother-in-law; he also becomes brother-in-law and step-son to his father’s wife; his father’s wife becomes both her sister’s mother-in-law and sister-in-law; his own wife is his step-mother’s sister, sister-in-law, and daughter-in-law

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] International Computer Security Day
[Thurs] Stay Home Because You Are Well Day
[Fri] World AIDS Day
[Fri] “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj”; “The Nativity Story”; “Turistas” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Pan American Health Day
[Sun] International Day of Disabled Persons
This Week Is … Travelers with Disabilities Week
This Month Is … Stamp Collecting Month

BULL’S BITS

ALL-TIME TV CATCHPHRASES:
Sometimes it takes only a word, or just a few, to become immortalized in TV history. Here are some of the greatest TV catchphrases (in alphabetical order), according to an upcoming TV Land countdown special starting DECEMBER 11th. See if you can identify the source of each …
• “And that’s the way it is …” (Walter Cronkite, “CBS Evening News” 1962-81)
• “Bam!” (Emeril Lagasse, “Emeril Live” since 1997)
• “Come on down!” (Johnny Olson, “The Price is Right” 1972-85)
• “De plane, boss! De plane!” (‘Tattoo’, “Fantasy Island” 1978-84)
• “D’oh!” (‘Homer Simpson’, “The Simpsons” since 1989)
• “Good night, John Boy” (“The Waltons” 1972-81)
• “Here’s Johnny!” (Ed McMahon, “The Tonight Show” 1962-92)
• “Hey now!” (‘Hank Kingsley’, “The Larry Sanders Show” 1992-98)
• “Is that your final answer?” (Regis Philbin, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” 1999-2001)
• “The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat” (Jim McKay, “ABC’s Wide World of Sports” 1961-84)
• “The tribe has spoken” (Jeff Probst, “Survivor” since 2000)
• “The truth is out there” (‘Fox Mulder’, “The X-Files” 1993-2002)
• “We’ve got a really big show!” (Ed Sullivan, “The Ed Sullivan Show” 1948-71)
• “Yabba dabba do!” (‘Fred Flintstone’, “The Flintstones” 1960-66)
• “You’re fired!” (Donald Trump, “The Apprentice” since 2004)
– TV Land

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• Should developers be allowed to build big hotels and tourist complexes in the most beautiful places in the country?
• What have you bought because it was ‘fashionable’ that you later regretted?
• Should the government make it more expensive for farmers to use pesticides and more profitable for them to grow organic food?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Some people have a second language. I barely have a first one.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A man is more than twice as likely as a woman to make a purchase if he does THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Tries on clothes.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There is never a right way to do the wrong thing.


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