Thursday, November 2, 2006
Thanks To You, This is Edition #3400!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the 7th annual “Latin Grammy Awards” for Spanish- and Portuguese-speaking artists are handed out at NYC’s Madison Square Garden as Shakira leads nomination with 5, including ‘Record of the Year’, ‘Song of the Year’ and ‘Best Short Form Music Video’ for “La Tortura” . . . TONIGHT Justin Timberlake hosts the “MTV Europe Music Awards” in Copenhagen, Denmark as the Red Hot Chili Peppers lead nominations with 4, followed by Madonna, Shakira, Nelly Furtado, Christina Aguilera, Kanye West and Muse with 3 apiece . . . TONIGHT is the 4th season premiere of “The OC” (FOX) with the show taking a darker turn as the fatal car accident involving ‘Marissa’ (Mischa Barton) looms over the main characters who’ve now mostly either graduated from high school or died (will every TV show soon be on Thursday night?) . . . Former “OC” regular Logan Marshall-Green (‘Trey Atwood’) has a starring role in the highly-praised upcoming drama series “Traveler” (ABC) as one of a trio of buddies suspected in the terrorist bombing of a NYC museum (premieres in JANUARY) . . . TONIGHT the executive producer of “Ugly Betty” (ABC), Salma Hayek, steps before the camera to guest star as a new love interest for playboy boss ‘Daniel Meade’ (played by Eric Mabius) . . . 82-year-old TV host Bob Barker is finally retiring from “The Price Is Right” in JUNE,  the game show he’s hosted for 35 years (back when he started, the correct price was expressed in beaver pelts) . . . And David Hasselhoff has agreed to a $360,000 fee to star in the UK reality TV show “Celebrity Big Brother” NEXT YEAR (aw, those poor Brits).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Clay Aiken – TODAY he’s on the “Megan Mullally Show” (syndicated).
• Gretchen Wilson – THIS MORNING she flogs her new book on “Good Morning America” (ABC).
• Jewel – TONIGHT she does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Kellie Pickler – TODAY she’s a guest on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• Meat Loaf – TONIGHT, for one night only, he performs “Bat Out of Hell on Broadway” at NYC’s Palace Theatre. The show features tunes from all 3 of his “Bat Out Of Hell” albums.
• My Chemical Romance – TODAY they perform on “Live@Much” (MuchMusic)
• Rolling Stones – They’ve postponed FRIDAY’s show in Vancouver BC because of Mick Jagger’s sore throat. They will also delay MONDAY’s show in Oakland CA by a day, and push back the Los Angeles show from November 18th to 22nd. Instead of Hawaii, the tour will now end NOVEMBER 25th in Vancouver.
• U2 – More than 700 hours of footage was shot at their concerts in South America in February and March for a 3-D concert film that should be ready by NEXT SUMMER or FALL.
• Weird Al Yankovic – TONIGHT the novelty artist who’s enjoying a comeback performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A selection of movies in the making …
• “Bruno” – His film “Borat” doesn’t even open until TOMORROW, but British funnyman Sacha Baron Cohen has already signed a $42.5-million deal with Universal Pictures to bring his Austrian fashionista TV character ‘Bruno’ to the bigscreen. Both characters were first introduced on his “Da Ali G Show” (Channel 4-UK, HBO-US). Cohen hopes to shoot the new film NEXT YEAR.
• “Sisters” – Brian De Palma’s 1970s psychological thriller has gotten a remake treatment starring Chloe Sevigny and French actress Lou Doillon. The twisted tale of conjoined twins, murder, voyeurism and obsession was never a big hit originally, but it helped establish De Palma’s cred as a stylish director.
• “Untitled Superman Returns Sequel” –  Bryan Singer has signed to direct and produce a sequel to “Superman Returns”, expected to screen in 2009. He’s the only person in place on the project so far, although Warner Bros has an option with Brandon Routh to reprise his title role. Otherwise, there’s no script, no budget and no targeted release date. Up until now, a sequel wasn’t considered a sure thing, since “Superman Returns” cost over $200 million to make but just edged past that mark in domestic box office LAST WEEKEND.

WORDS THAT SOUND DIRTY BUT AREN’T:
• ‘Cooksure’ – Confidence in the kitchen (“Word Fugitives” by Barbara Wallraff).
• ‘Formication’ – A sensation as of ants crawling over the skin. (“Oxford English Dictionary”)
– “Toronto Star”

BEST GOLFERS IN MUSIC:
Based on their handicaps, here are the music world’s top duffers …
5. Adrian Young (No Doubt).
4 Country singer Steve Azar.
3. Marty Roe (Diamond Rio).
2. Country singer Vince Gill.
1. Smooth jazz saxophonist Kenny G (better than a scratch golfer with +.06 handicap).
The top-ranking female is oldies singer Anne Murray, tied for 39th.
– “Golf Digest”

INFO OVERKILL:
Recent research from British shows that each day we are bombarded by about 4,000 instructions, ads and rules. Just on the way to work we face some 150 new messages, from road signs to ads on public transit. A trip to the mall involves some 1,600 instructions. The researchers conclude that consumers now have to weed out the info they want – and ignore the rest. (Sort of like teens with their parents.)
– “Social Studies”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 72% of married people say they greet their pet first before they greet their spouse.
• 44% of kindergartners kiss another kid in class at some point.
• 29% of men have borrowed deodorant from a girlfriend.
• 20% of women don’t like exercising around men.
• 16% of women think their neighbors do ‘kinky stuff’.
• 15% of us have taken salt & pepper shakers from a restaurant.

THE FRONT-SEAT BACK-SEAT DRIVER:
German electronics company Siemens has developed a computer that prevents drivers from speeding. The device uses a camera mounted near the rearview mirror to read speed limit signs, then the onboard computer limits the vehicle to speeds below the posted limit. The company is currently working on integrating the technology into an European luxury car, but will not reveal which one. One limitation of this limiter – it’s only active when the driver has  cruise control switched on. (Oh good, you can still do 100 through school zones.)
– “Chicago Tribune”

BS ANIMAL TALES:
• The website Raisingkids.co.uk estimates that some 3.5 million dogs and other pets were dressed up in costumes for Halloween THIS YEAR. While prepackaged pet costumes only came on the market about 5 years ago, many stores are now selling out of them. Is it cute or cruel?
• When Des Moines, Iowa firefighters responded to an alarm at local research center Great Ape Trust they didn’t find any fire, just a guilty looking Bonobo Chimp named ‘Panbanisha’. It seems the bored ape had pulled the fire alarm for something to do. She’s been told not to do it again.
• In Las Vegas, the first plastic surgery clinic for pets has opened. Let me tell you – 8 fake boobs ain’t cheap!
• When vets in Britain opened up an ailing English Springer Spaniel, they discovered 5 large twigs, 6 rocks, and several whole crab apples. It was then that ‘Barney’s’ 8-year-old owner clued in – instead of retrieving things thrown during games of fetch, the pooch was eating them.
• A study by a team of psychologists at Britain’s University of Leicester is attempting to determine if music encourages cows to produce more milk. The farmyard playlist includes everything from jazz to classical to cheesy ballads. The hard part is getting the cows to keep the earbuds in.

WORKPLACE OR RESORT?
Since 2003, Google’s workforce has more than tripled to 9,000 employees, and the $140-billion company now operates its Googleplex facility in Mountain View CA 24-hours-a-day. But you don’t hear many complaints from its pampered workers. The company offers free meals 3 times a day in 11 different cafeterias, each supervised by executive chefs. There’s also free use of an outdoor wave pool, an indoor gym and a large child-care facility, as well as private shuttle bus service to San Francisco and other residential areas. Google also provides washrooms that feature hi-tech Japanese toilets with heated seats and stall doors containing database quizzes. (Word is the union representing these hard-pressed employees is now demanding hot-oil massage.)
– “Washington Post”

BS AMAZING FACT:
New StatsCan figures show that Canadians spent close to $8 billion on goods and services online in 2005. The most common types of orders among the 50 million Internet transactions – hotel reservations and car rentals.
– BN

When the Eiffel Tower was built in 1884, Parisians referred to it as ‘the tragic lamppost’ and nearly universally hated it.

THE BULL SHEET 11.02.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1957 [49] Carter Beauford, Charlottesville VA, rock drummer (Dave Matthews Band-“American Baby”)

1961 [45] kd (Katherine Dawn) lang, Consort AB, pop singer (“Constant Craving”)

1966 [40] David Schwimmer, Astoria NY, movie actor (“Madagascar”)/ex-TV actor (“Friends” 1994-2004)

1969 [37] Reginald ‘Fieldy’ Arvizu, Bakersfield CA, rock bassist (Korn-“Did My Time”)

1969 [37] Cookie Monster, Sesame Street NY, cookie fanatic/fuzzy TV personality who styles his hair with a blue-rinse/movie actor (“The Muppets Take Manhattan”)

1974 [32] Nelly (Cornell Haynes Jr), Austin TX, rapper (“Grillz”, w/Janet Jackson-“Call On Me”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “All Souls’ Day”, the excuse for an annual tradition in Santiago, Guatemala – the “Kite Festival”, when natives send massive, extremely colorful kites up to the heavens in an effort to communicate with the dead. Hello, anybody home?

• “Deviled Egg Day”. (Tomorrow is ‘Watch Dad Evacuate an Entire Department Store in 10 Seconds Day’.)

• “Men Make Dinner Day”, celebrated on the 1st Thursday every November to ensure there is at least 1 guaranteed meal cooked by the man of the house each year. Admittedly there are lots of households where men make dinner for their partners and families on a regular basis. This day is for everyone else.
NET: http://www.menmakedinnerday.com/orgin.htm

• “Plan Your Epitaph Day”, dedicated to the proposition that a forgettable gravestone
is a fate worse than death. A few actual epitaphs …
– “I Put My Wife Beneath This Stone, for Her Repose and for My Own.” (Middlebury VT)
– Here lies Ezekiel Aikle, Age 102. The Good Die Young.” – East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia.
– On a coal miner: “Gone Underground For Good”
– “He Got a Fishbone in His Throat and Then He Sang an Angel Note.” (Schenectady NY)
– On a coroner who hung himself: “He Lived and Died by Suicide.”
– “Here lies the body of Margaret Bent, She kicked up her heels and away she went.” (Dorsetshire, England)
– On an Auctioneer: “Jedediah Goodwin, Auctioneer. Born 1828. Going! Going!! Gone!!! 1876.”
– “Once I Wasn’t. Then I Was. Now I Ain’t Again.” (Cleveland OH)
– On an adulterous husband: “Gone, But Not Forgiven.”
– “Here Lies the Body of Ephraim Wise, Safely Tucked Between His Wives.” (Niagara Falls ON)
– “On a hypochondriac’s grave: “See. I Told You I Was Sick!”

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1920 [86] KDKA Pittsburgh signs on as USA’s 1st ‘Commercial Radio Station’ (known as 8XK)

1936 [70] ‘Canadian Broadcasting Act’ creates the CBC

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2004 [02] Shania Twain attends “Shania Twain Day” in Timmins ON as the ribbon is cut on the new ‘Shania Twain Centre’, a museum of her life and career

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [07] 1st sports league to create its own 24-hour TV network (NBA.com TV)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1878 [128] World record 55-foot-long giant squid is captured off Newfoundland

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Sandwich Day
[Fri] Housewives’ Day
[Fri] Cliché Day
[Sat] Governor General’s Performing Arts Awards Gala (Ottawa)
[Sat] 21st Gemini Awards Gala (Richmond BC)
[Sun] New York City Marathon
[Sun] Beaver Moon/Frosty Moon/Hunters Moon/Snow Moon (Full Moon in November)
[Mon] Saxophone Day
[Mon] 40th CMA Awards (Nashville TN)
[Mon] Halfway Point of Autumn
This Week Is … Homeless Week
This Month Is … Fun With Fondue Month

BULL’S BITS

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Do you have to think twice before giving something a second thought?
• What exactly is the difference between retired and unemployed? And if you’re not tired, how can you be retired?
• Just how happy is a lark? And why the heck is it so happy?
• Why put off till tomorrow what you’ll never do anyway?
• Can a dog wag it’s tail backwards? And how would we know?
• Do apes ‘go people’ when they get all excited?

BS PHONE STARTER:
Are practical jokes funny? (A corporate survey reveals that fully 98.5% of employees think occasional workplace practical jokes are important for company morale. The remaining 1.5% think pranks like ‘kick me’ signs are childish and unprofessional.)

TWINKIES TRUTH OR BS?
• Twinkies have a shelf life of 7 years. [BS. More like 25 days, according to the urban legend debunking website snopes.com]
• Twinkies were named after ’Twinkle Toe Shoes’. [TRUE. Their inventor, a bakery manager, passed a billboard for them on his way to pitch his new product to Hostess.]
• A collection of recipes about cooking with Twinkies is scheduled for publication NEXT YEAR. [TRUE. The ‘gourmet recipes’ will include ‘Twinkie Shortcake’, ‘Twinkie Misu’ and ‘Twinkie Sushi’.]
• About 500 thousand Twinkies are sold each year. [BS. It’s closer to 500 MILLION!]

BS BREAKFAST BINGO:
Contestant gets 60 seconds to answer 5 questions about breakfast. The answers begin with the letters B-I-N-G-O …
• It’s flat and gooey before you cook it, crinkled and crisp after. [Bacon]
• It’s a restaurant that specializes in pancakes. [International House of Pancakes]
• It’s a leading brand of hazelnut spread that some people put on toast. [Nutella]
• It’s citrus but it isn’t orange. [Grapefruit]
• It’s what Cheerios are made from. [Oats]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Doing THIS will raise your breathing rate by 30%.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Working on a computer.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t let school interfere with your education.

 


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