Tuesday, November 1, 2016 – Edition: #5841

Sheeters Always Prosper!

★ 51-year-old Uwe Boll, director of the ‘worst film ever’, “Alone In the Dark” (2005), says he’s retiring. The much-maligned movie starred Tara Reid (‘nuf said). Boll is one of the few directors who’ve managed the rare ‘accolade’ of making a film that’s rated just 1% on movie review website Rotten Tomatoes. But now the German says he’s decided to quit because there’s no market for his straight-to-DVD movies anymore because of Netflix and changing viewing habits. Quote: “I have enough money to play golf until I’m dead.”
– “Newsbeat”
★ In her new memoir, actress Tippi Hedren claims legendary director Alfred Hitchcock repeatedly sexually harassed her. The abuse allegedly happened when the pair collaborated on a pair of films, “The Birds” and “Marnie”. The allegations are in her new memoir, “Tippi”, which is out today. It suggests Hitchcock developed an unhealthy obsession with Hedren, repeatedly driving by her house, asking her to “touch him”, and once trying to force her to kiss him in a limo. Hedren, now 86, says she didn’t speak out back then because “sexual harassment and stalking were terms that didn’t exist”.
– “Us Weekly”
★ And 30-year-old actress-turned-fashion designer Ashley Olsen is reportedly dating Richard Sachs, a ”bigwig in the art space” who is said to be in his late 50s. She’s previously been romantically linked with George Condo (59), Bennett Miller (49), and David Schulte (47). A source says the apparent new couple recently cycled together in the front row of a spin class at NYC’s Flywheel Flatiron gym and were affectionate afterward … even though they were sweaty. Is someone looking for a father figure?
– PageSix.com

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Keith Urban (“Ripcord”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wild Nothing (“Life of Pause”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Kenny Chesney (“Cosmic Hallelujah”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – John Prine (“In Spite Of Ourselves”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Tegan & Sara (“Love You to Death”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Guest co-host Eve (“Lip Lock”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Kenny Chesney again.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Lecrae (“Anomaly”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The best moments of the season are revisited, from the blind auditions to the upcoming playoffs.

• Amy Winehouse – The Amy Winehouse Foundation has launched a covers contest to celebrate the 10th anniversary of her “Back to Black” album. Official lyrics are available through Amy’s Vevo channel, and each lyric video features a link to a backing track.
• Janet Jackson – She’s reportedly converted to Islam. The 50-year-old is expecting her first child with husband Wissam Al Mana, whom she secretly wed in 2012. Friends says she has now undergone a full conversion to to her husband’s religion.
• Justin Bieber – His “Purpose” world tour is extending well into 2017, with a new round of Latin American dates. Bieber will play 2 dates in Mexico in February, then 10 more shows in March-April in Brazil, Peru, Ecuador, Colombia, Dominican Republic, Puerto Rica, Panama, and Costa Rica.
• Lady Gaga – Her 5th solo album, “Joanne”, has debuted at #1 on the ‘Billboard 200’ chart this week. It’s her 4th chart-topper and also the 4th-highest-debuting album of 2016.
• Mariah Carey – She’s canceled 4 of the 6 dates on her Latin American tour – in Argentina, Brazil, and Chile. E! reports that negligence on the part of the concert promoters is being blamed. She still has 2 shows scheduled for Mexico in the next month.

Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Bad Moms” ( R-Rated Comedy ): When 3 overworked and under-appreciated moms are pushed beyond their limits, they ditch their conventional responsibilities for a jolt of long overdue freedom, fun, and self-indulgence. Stars Mila Kunis, Kathryn Hahn, Kristen Bell, Christina Applegate.
• “Middle-Earth 6-Film Collection ( Fantasy Compilation ): Peter Jackson’s 2 epic trilogies (“Lord Of the Rings”, “The Hobbit”) are released in a single collection. ‘The Theatrical Versions Collection’ features the 6 films in their original form; ‘The Limited Collector’s Edition’ includes 30 discs with bonus content in 6 faux leather books, with a ‘Hobbit’-style wood shelf. It costs $799.
• “Star Trek Beyond” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Adventure ): In this followup to the rebooted “Star Trek” (2009) and “Star Trek Into Darkness” (2013), the ‘USS Enterprise’ explores the furthest reaches of uncharted space, where a ruthless new enemy is encountered. Stars Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Zoe Saldana. Directed by Justin Lin (“Fast & Furious 6”).
• Also being released: “Batman: Return Of the Caped Crusaders” (Animated); “Bob Hope: Hope For the Holidays” (Vintage TV Compilation); “Building Star Trek” (Documentary); “Gleason” (Documentary); “Hell on Wheels – The Complete Series” (TV); “The It Crowd: The Complete Series” (TV); “My Little Pony Equestria Girls: Legend of Everfree” (Animated); and “Outlander: Season 2” (TV).

The idea of growing mustaches to highlight men’s health in November began in Melbourne, Australia’s Gypsy Bar back in 2003 when 2 guys challenged their friends to join them in growing ‘staches for charity. Those original 30 guys quickly became more than 4 million worldwide. The movement began with a focus on prostate cancer and, later, testicular cancer, both male exclusive diseases. Eventually, as ‘Movember’ grew, so did its scope, to include mental health as well as the overall physical wellness of men.
NET: http://www.movember.com
– TheStar.com

A Harris Interactive online poll of close to 2,000 adults measures how much actual living goes on in vehicles. A few highlights …
• 19% have eaten using a fork, spoon, or knife while driving.
• 11% (17% of men, 5% of women) have ‘participated in a sexual activity’ while driving.
• 10% have applied makeup while driving … mostly women.
• 9% have flirted with another driver.
• 4% have read a book while behind the wheel.
The results are not considered scientific … but they sure are scary!
– USAToday.com

“The Guide to Sleeping in Airports” has published the results of its annual survey of the best airports in the world, rated by travelers on factors including comfort, food, services available, cleanliness, customer service, things to do, and of course, the security experience …
1. Changi International Airport (Singapore): Features 5 gardens, a fish spa, massage chairs, video-gaming stations, free movie theater, tons of restaurants and stores, even a multi-story slide.
2. Incheon International Airport (Seoul, South Korea): Also has gardens and a movie theater, as well as a cultural center, ice rink, free showers, and reclining lounge chairs.
3. Haneda International Airport (Tokyo, Japan): It may not seem as exciting as the top 2 but it is extremely clean and efficient, with excellent customer service.
4. Taoyuan International Airport (Taipei, Taiwan): May be the world’s most creative airport, with different themes at every gate, most of which include a corresponding activity to pass the time.
5. Munich International Airport (Munich, Germany): Here you can enjoy free morning coffee, free WiFi, a brewery, a mini-golf course, an ice rink, even surfing.
– Newser.com

If you’ve ever called a traffic light ‘stupid’, you’re technically correct. Amidst the proliferation of smart devices, traffic lights have largely remained conventional, their colors changing based on preprogrammed timing that can go years without being adjusted. But in Pittsburgh PA, Carnegie Mellon University researchers have been testing the Surtrac system, which uses artificial intelligence to coordinate traffic lights via radar sensors and cameras at each light. It’s estimated to have cut engine emissions by 20% and idling time by more than 40%. And maybe most importantly, driving time is down 25%. Unlike other smart systems being tested elsewhere, Surtrac’s is decentralized, so that each intersection allocates its green time independently. (Bring it on … now!)
– USAToday.com

A recent study finds that most women begin noticing they’re taking on their mother’s characteristics in their late 20s or early 30s. Here are some of the signs . . .
• You take pictures at your kid’s school play after they’ve asked parents not to.
• You insist your kid wear a sweater when it’s you that is cold.
• You let your husband put a La-Z-Boy in the living room.
• As soon as someone walks in the house you ask if they want something to eat.
• Rock stars give you the creeps.
• You’ve caught yourself warning about something ‘poking out an eye’.
(Ask listeners to add more.)
– PA News

Menu design is a skill rooted in complex psychology. Knowing that your eye will naturally fall on the top-right corner of the menu, this is where restaurateurs often place their most profitable items. Why not help run these crooks out of business by ordering from the bottom of the menu, where you’ll find items with smaller margins?
– “The Guardian”


1949 [67] David Foster, Victoria BC, music producer noted for discovering Céline Dion, Josh Groban, and Michael Bublé/16 Grammy Awards

1962 [54] Anthony Kiedis, Grand Rapids MI, rock singer (Red Hot Chili Peppers-“Snow [Hey Oh]”, “Dani California”)

1963 [53] ‘Big’ Kenny (Alphin), Culpeper VA, country singer (Big & Rich-“Lost In This Moment”, “Save a Horse [Ride a Cowboy]”)

1972 [44] Toni Collette, Sydney, Australia, TV actress (“United States of Tara” 2009-11)/movie actress (“Little Miss Sunshine”, “The Hours”)

1972 [44] Jenny McCarthy, Chicago IL, TV personality (“The View” 2013, “Love In the Wild” 2012)/model (“Playboy” cover 32 times)/movie actress (“John Tucker Must Die”, “Santa Baby”)

1984 [32] Natalia Tena, London UK, TV actress (‘Osha’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2011)/movie actress (“Harry Potter” films)

• “All Hallows” or “All Saints’ Day” (begun in 835 AD), a Roman Catholic ‘Holy Day of Obligation’ (aren’t they all?). It’s a public holiday in the Philippines, when families gather to honor the dead.

• “Authors Day”, a day to celebrate literature in all its forms and to show your appreciation for the incredibly hard work put in by the authors behind your favorite writings.

• “Day Of the Dead” (Dia de los Muertos) in Mexico. Actually the observance covers 2 days – today, “All Saints Day”, is set aside for remembrance of deceased infants and children (‘angelitos’). Tomorrow, “All Soul’s Day”, is for those who died as adults. For a memorial observance it’s pretty festive, with colorful adornments, lively reunions at family burial plots, fireworks, and special foods. Departed souls are remembered with ‘Dead Men’s Bread’ which is decorated with sugar skulls. (“Please Mom, can I have the eye socket?”)

• “Family Literacy Day”, to promote the importance of reading & learning together as a family.

• “Go Cook For Your Pets Day”, because it’s apparently not enough to house them, train them, exercise them, and clean up after them … now they need haute cuisine!

• “World Vegan Day”, an international focal point for celebrating veganism, a term invented by Donald Watson in 1944. True vegans do not eat meat, fish, dairy products, or eggs; nor do they use any products derived from animals, such as fur or leather.

2006 [10] Apple Computer launches a new mini-store within the iTunes Music Store dedicated to Latin entertainment (iTunes Latino features top Latin music, music videos, TV shows, audiobooks, and podcasts)

2005 [11] Black Sabbath is inducted into the UK Music Hall of Fame by Brian May of Queen (Ozzy Osbourne moons the crowd, feeling they aren’t rocking hard enough while the band plays “Paranoid”)

2012 [04] “Metal Hammer” magazine lists the ‘All-Time Top Rock & Heavy Metal Moustaches’ (Black Sabbath, except Ozzy; Frank Zappa of Mothers of Invention; Queen’s Freddie Mercury)

1993 [23] The Maastricht Treaty takes effect, formally establishing the ‘European Union’

[Wed] “50th CMA Awards” (ABC)
[Wed] Cookie Monster Day
[Wed] Plan Your Epitaph Day
[Thurs] Cliché Day
[Thurs] Men Make Dinner Day
[Thurs] Sandwich Day
This Week Is … Give Wildlife a Brake Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Senior Pet Month


Listed alphabetically, according to a Twitter poll …
✗ Clot
✗ Cluster
✗ Dinky
✗ Discharge
✗ Fester
✗ Flaccid
✗ Gusset
✗ Orifice
✗ Secrete
✗ Sputum
✗ Yeast

‘Gratrunka’ is the Swedish word for crying while masturbating. That’s a real tear-jerker.

You’re looking at a map and spot the ‘ideo locator’. What the heck is it?
a. The ‘You Are Here’ arrow. [CORRECT]
b. Numbers or letters along the edge that help you locate a specific place.
c. [Your co-host’s] house.

☎ What emojis would reflect the lives of people over 50? (Diane Hill from Coventry UK has created a series of false teeth and bad back ‘Emoldjis’, because she thinks the existing smiling, sleepy. and sad faces do not represent the lives and likes of older people.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/j9g9osz

Question: 85% of people say eating THIS gives them a sense of security and comfort.
Answer: Mac & cheese.

The best way to win an argument is to start by being right.

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