Friday, November 11, 2011        Edition: #4628
Deja Moo!

At one point, 31-year-old famous person-turned-fashion maven Jessica Simpson & her unemployed football player-fiancé Eric Johnson were scheduled to exchange wedding vows in Hawaii today, but now she tells “Us Weekly” they’ll wait until after the baby’s born (word has it the kid is either gonna be ‘Morgan’ or ‘Karen’) . . . ABC-TV and the Country Music Association have extended their broadcast agreement through 2021, meaning the “CMA Awards”, “CMA Festival: Country’s Night to Rock” and “CMA Country Christmas” will be on the network for at least another decade (think we’ll still be watching TV 10 years from now?) . . . “Bloomberg News” is reporting that Sony Music is in negotiations to snap up the 6-year-old Nashville record label Big Machine (that would bring Taylor Swift into the Sony fold) . . . To prepare for the movie verison of “Rock of Ages”, actor Tom Cruise claims he sang and danced for ‘10 hours a day’ (we’ll be getting lots of his song & dance routine leading up to the release next June) . . . Piers Morgan has announced he’s leaving his gig as a judge on “America’s Got Talent” (NBC) after 6 years to focus on his (struggling) CNN talk show “Piers Morgan Tonight” (this is unbelievable – that crap program’s been on-the-air for 6 years?) . . . And in his new “Rolling Stone” magazine cover interview, 50-year-old movie star George Clooney says he thinks farting is ‘one of the funniest things in the history of mankind’, also claiming he has ‘iFart’ on his phone and ‘remote whoopee cushions’ (clearly he’s 50 … going on 11).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Katy Perry (“Teenage Dream”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Junip (“In Every Direction”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Thievery Corporation (“Culture of Fear”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Beyoncé (“4”).
• Orlando Calling (Orlando, Florida) – Saturday & Sunday this inaugural festival at the Citrus Bowl stadium features modern sounds on Day 1 and classic rock on Day 2, performing on 4 stages. Highlight acts include Blake Shelton, Bob Seger, Doobie Brothers, Kid Rock, The Killers, The Raconteurs.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Emma Stone (“The Help”); musical guest Coldplay (“Mylo Xyloto”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Nicole Scherzinger (“Killer Love”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today classic rockers David Crosby & Graham Nash.

• Black Sabbath – Today the founding members are holding a press conference at LA’s Whiskey-A-Go-Go at 11:11 am PT, presumably to announce a long-rumored reunion of some sort. It’s the same venue where the band made its LA debut on November 11, 1970.
• E Street Band – Guitarist Nils Lofgren has recorded a new solo album that he’s dedicated to the late Clarence Clemons. “Old School” features guest appearances by Lou Gramm (Foreigner), Paul Rodgers (Free, Bad Company, The Firm), and Sam Moore (Sam & Dave). Lofgren plans to tour in support of the record.
• Justin Bieber – His new holiday album, “Under the Mistletoe”, has become the first Christmas record by a male artist to ever debut at #1. It also marks the 17-year-old’s 3rd #1 album, making him the 1st solo artist to earn three #1s before the age of 18. (On a Friday in November …)
• Lady Antebellum – Tonight they launch the first leg of their “Own the Night Tour” in Knoxville, Tennessee. Hillary Scott says she’s in ‘bridal boot camp’, working out hard so she can look good in a wedding dress. She’ll marry fiancé Chris Tyrrell ‘before next summer’.
• Mariah Carey – Now we find out why she lost 70 lbs post-pregnancy … she’s the new Jenny Craig ‘Brand Ambassador’. (You know your singing career’s gone downhill when …)
• Miranda Lambert – With her new album “Four The Record” debuting atop “Billboard” magazine’s ‘Top Country Albums’, she’s become the first country artist in the 47-year history of the chart to have each of her first 4 albums debut at #1.
• Rihanna – She’s confirmed that Jay-Z appears on the title track of her new album, “Talk That Talk”, which comes out November 21st.
• Rolling Stones – Guitarist Keith Richards tells “Rolling Stone” that he’s joining Ron Wood and Charlie Watts in a London studio later this month, because they ‘haven’t played together for 3 or 4 years’. He stresses they won’t be rehearsing or writing … just jamming. He also says Mick Jagger’s welcome to join in.


• “11-11-11” ( Limited Release NR Horror Thriller ): “Saw” director Darren Lynn Bousman’s latest fright-flick follows an author who travels to Barcelona, Spain after the death of his wife & child. There he learns that his life is plagued by events that occur on 11/11/11. Stars Timothy Gibbs, Michael Landes, Brendan Price.
• “Immortals” ( R-Rated Action Fantasy ): Henry Cavill stars as ‘Theseus’, the mortal chosen by ‘Zeus’ to lead the fight against the ruthless ‘King Hyperion’, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity. Co-stars Mickey Rourke, John Hurt, Stephen Dorff, Freida Pinto. Shot in Montréal.
• “Jack & Jill” ( PG Comedy ): Adam Sandler plays twins. What’s so funny about that? One of them is a woman. The story follows a family guy trying to cope with the dreaded annual Thanksgiving visit of his identical twin sister, who this time refuses to leave. Co-stars Katie Holmes, Al Pacino, and Dana Carvey in his first theatrical movie appearance in 9 years.
• “J Edgar” ( R-Rated Drama Opens Wide ): In Clint Eastwood’s bio-film about J Edgar Hoover, Leonardo DiCaprio plays the long-time FBI Director who was simultaneously admired and feared. But behind closed doors, he had secrets that would have destroyed his career. Armie Hammer (“The Social Network”) co-stars as Hoover’s alleged lover.


Melatonin stabilizes your sleep and wakefulness patterns by regulating the chemicals in your body that make you feel either drowsy or alert, but it doesn’t induce unnatural sleep like a pill might. If you’re a shift worker, trying to overcome jet lag, or struggling with random bouts of sleeplessness, increasing your melatonin levels can help you get better sleep. Here are a few melatonin-producing food sources (in order of their content): raspberries, almonds, sunflower seeds, tart cherries, flax seed, and strawberries. (Another sure way to get sleep … try watching the movie “Eat Pray Love”.)
– Excerpted from

As nights get longer, those who suffer from Winter blues will be planning ways to escape to the sunshine. But there may be a simpler way of cheering yourself up … simply shining a bright light in your ear. SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) is caused by the brain not receiving enough daylight which is needed to trigger serotonin, a hormone that regulates mood. A company called Valkee has developed a medical device that looks like an iPod, only the earphones emit white light rather than sound. It promises instant relief from SAD can be had for about $300. (Don’t try to cheap out with a flashlight … it emits the wrong kind of light that’s apparently too yellow.)


By Hollywood standards, Kim Kardashian’s 2nd divorce (after 72 days) is no big deal. A few of the famous who’ve far outdone her …
• Liza Minnelli: 4 divorces, including ‘Hollywood’s Dirtiest Divorce’ from producer David Gest.
• Joan Collins: After 4 divorces she’s currently married to Percy Gibson, 32 years her junior.
• Christie Brinkley: 4 divorces, most notably from pop singer Billy Joel after a 9-year marriage.
• Barbara Walters: 4 divorces, likely thanks in part to her prolific and busy TV career.
• Rita Hayworth: 5 divorces, including Orson Welles and Prince Aly Kahn.
• Elizabeth Taylor: 7 divorces, actor Richard Burton being two of them.
• Lana Turner: 8 divorces, Joseph Stephen Crane twice. Their 2 marriages totaled 2 years.
• Zsa Zsa Gabor: 8 divorces. Wed to Conrad Hilton for 4 years; Felipe de Alba for … 1 day.

In Britain, town councils are asking locals to stop giving bread to ducks, advising them to feed the birds ‘healthier’ food throughout the Winter months. The move follows claims by ornithologists that bread can harm the digestive systems of young ducks, depriving them of essential vitamins and causing a disfigurement called ‘angel wing’, in which a joint in the bird’s wing becomes twisted. Suggested alternatives include grapes cut in half, cracked corn, and defrosted frozen peas. (Picky, picky! And would the little quackers like a side of hot cider?)
– “Times of London”

• Adopt the French Way: Instead of shaking hands, greet people with an ‘air kiss’ or ‘manly hug’.
• Blast Your Sponges – Microwave kitchen cloths/sponges on full power for 2 minutes daily.
• Call a Friend & Take a Walk – Moderate exercise 5 times a week helps to reduce colds.
• Disinfect Surfaces Regularly – Door knobs, taps, TV remotes, etc can all store germs.
• Eat & Sleep Well – A healthy diet & 7 hours of sleep daily makes you less vulnerable to germs.
• Fight It With Garlic – People taking garlic supplements have fewer and shorter colds.
– Condensed from

You always hear about people failing their New Year’s resolutions, but here’s one guy who stuck to his: Jay Wornick of Fulton, New York weighed 366 lbs on January 1st; as of this week, he’s down to 168 lbs. The 30-year-old father of 3 says his typical meals used to include a 20-oz steak and 3 potatoes, washed down with a 12-pack of soda. Now he eats fruits, vegetables, lean meats, drinks water, and works out 6 days a week at the YMCA. (He’s only half the man he used to be!)
– AP


1960 [51] Stanley Tucci, Peekskill NY, movie actor (“Julie & Julia”, “The Devil Wears Prada”)/TV actor (“ER” 2007-08)

1962 [49] Demi (Demetria) Moore, Roswell NM, movie actress (“Margin Call”, “Ghost”)/Mrs Ashton Kutcher since 2005/former Mrs Bruce Willis 1987-2000

1964 [47] Calista Flockhart, Freeport IL, TV actress (“Brothers & Sisters” 2006-11, “Ally McBeal” 1997-2002)/wed to actor Harrison Ford since 2010

1974 [37] Leonardo DiCaprio, Hollywood CA, movie actor (“J Edgar”, “Titanic”)

TV sportscaster Al Michaels (“NBC Sunday Night Football”) is 67; Classic rocker Neil Young (“Heart of Gold”) is 66; TV actress Cote de Pablo (“NCIS”) is 32; Movie actor Ryan Gosling (“The Ides of March”) is 31; Movie actress Anne Hathaway (“Love & Other Drugs”) is 29.

TV-movie actor Chris Noth (“Sex & The City”) is 57; TV personality-actress Whoopi Goldberg (“The View”) is 56; TV actor Rex Linn (“CSI: Miami”) is 55; TV host Jimmy Kimmel (“Jimmy Kimmel Live”) is 44; Movie actor Gerard Butler (“300”) is 42; Rock bassist Nikolai Fraiture (The Strokes) is 33.


• “Martinmas”, when they’ll stage the annual “Martinmas Goose Celebration” in front of the town hall of Sursee, Switzerland. Blindfolded participants try to cut down a suspended goose with a single sword stroke. The warm weather that often occurs around this time is called ‘St Martin’s Summer’ in Europe, ‘Indian Summer’ in North America (uh, maybe ‘Aboriginal Summer’?).
• “Origami Day”, celebrating the ancient Japanese art of paper-folding. Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch, hey look what I made … it’s a flu virus!
• “Remembrance Day”, commemorating the end of WWI at 11 am on the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. It’s observed in Canada & the UK, and in Belgium & France as “Armistice Day”. The original tradition is to observe 2 minutes silence at 11 am.
• “Singles Day” in China, honoring all those who’ve yet to wed. It’s also the occasion for the ‘I’m Looking For You’ market in Beijing, where singles list their personal data along with a picture, and the profile is posted publicly for others to view. (Sort of eHarmony … live.)
• “Veterans’ Day” in the USA, the 92nd annual observance originally called “Armistice Day”, then renamed in 1954. The day now honors all American military veterans.

• “Chicken Soup For the Soul Day”, a celebration of who you are, where you’ve been, where you’re going, and who you will be thankful to when you get there, according to the creators of the mega-selling book series.
• “Shallow Persons Awareness Week” begins, for all those people who believe beauty is only hair deep.

• “Moms & Dads Day”, apparently because annual “Mothers Day” and Fathers Day” celebrations just aren’t enough pressure for kids to deal with … thanks a lot!
• “World Kindness Day”, observed annually since 1998 to celebrate the World Kindness Movement.

1994 [17] “Interview With the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles”, the bigscreen adaptation of Anne Rice’s best-selling 1976 novel, opens in movie theaters (stars Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, and Kirsten Dunst)


2004 [07] M’hammed Soumayah, bodyguard for Liza Minelli, sues the singer for $100 million for allegedly forcing him to have sex with her or be fired

1981 [30] LA Dodgers pitcher Fernando Valenzuela becomes 1st player in baseball history to win both ‘Rookie Of the Year’ and a ‘Cy Young Award’ in the same season

1988 [23] ‘Loudest Measured Scream’ by a human … 128 decibels! (some guy in a zipper accident?)

[Mon] Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day
[Mon] International Girls Day
[Mon] Universal Children’s Day
[Mon] World Diabetes Day
[Mon] World Orphans Day
[Tues] Guinness World Record Day
This Week Is … Split Pea Soup Week
This Month Is … Healthy Skin Month


• You bought it off a street vendor.
• The label lists the active ingredient as ‘nougat’.
• Feet swell up, ears catch on fire, nose explodes.
• It came with a 100% guarantee from physician Dr Pepper.
• You’ve got hives the size of melons.
• You’re so swollen up when you walk into a room, people say, “Hey, it’s Meat Loaf!”
• This morning you had a fever of 183 degrees.
• Two weeks later, you die of the flu.


Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.

With producer Brett Ratner and host Eddie Murphy officially out of the picture, who should take over as emcee for the Academy Awards? How about Amy Poehler & Tina Fey? Ricky Gervais? Or The Muppets? There’s actually a groundswell of support for that idea …


Question: Most of us have 300 of THESE to start off with but end up with only 206.
Answer: Bones.

Sometimes money costs too much.

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