Monday, November 11, 2013        Edition: #5099

Deja Moo!

★ The Walt Disney Co has announced it will release the next “Star Wars” film December 18, 2015. Disney bought Lucasfilm from “Star Wars” creator George Lucas last year for $4 billion and has committed to making at least 3 new films for one of the most successful franchises ever. The prime holiday season date is a departure for the movie as the previous 6 instalments have all been released in May, just in time for the Summer movie season. Filming of “Star Wars: Episode VII” is set to begin in next Spring.
★ Netflix is buying several new live-action TV series from Marvel Comics, bringing some lesser-known superheroes to the small-screen. The online streaming service has committed to four 13-episode series, based on the characters ‘Daredevil’, ‘Iron Fist’, ‘Jessica Jones’, and ‘Luke Cage’. The major investment in original programming follows recent successes with “House of Cards” and “Orange Is the New Black”. The new series will be streamed from 2015 onward, culminating in “The Defenders”, a mini-series uniting all 4 characters.
★ Alanis Morissette’s smash hit 1995 album “Jagged Little Pill” is being turned into a musical. All the album’s songs will be featured, along with other Morissette tunes and new music she will write specifically for the stage production. Two-time Tony Award-winner Tom Kitt, who adapted Green Day’s “American Idiot”, has signed on for orchestrations and arrangements. A workshop production of the new show will open in New York sometime next year.
– “Entertainment Weekly”
★ A rep for Lions Gate Entertainment, the movie studio that produced the 2012 blockbuster “The Hunger Games”, says the company is studying 2 separate proposals for a theme park based on the futuristic movie about children fighting for their lives in a televised game. The first “Hunger Games” movie, which starred Jennifer Lawrence, generated over $691 million in worldwide box office. Lions Gate is releasing a 2nd film, “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”, next week on November 22nd.
★ And the cheeky woman who shot video of pop star Justin Bieber sleeping in a Brazilian hotel suite, then posted the footage online, has been identified as model, actress, and bodybuilder Tatiana Neves Barbosa. The short film already has 17 million-plus views on just days after she uploaded it. It’s unclear whether the 26-year-old, who is the current ‘Miss Bikini Wellness’, was an invited guest in the Bieb’s hotel room or somehow managed to sneak in. But the incident has served to put Bieber’s security team on high alert.
– “Us Weekly”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Avril Lavigne (“Avril Lavigne”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – The 6 remaining couples perform.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Adam Lambert (“Trespassing”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Frank Turner (“Tape Deck Heart”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – LL Cool J (“Authentic”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Cher Lloyd f/Skee-Lo (“Sticks + Stones”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Moon Taxi (“Mountains Beaches Cities”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Donnie Wahlberg (NKOTB).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Kelly Clarkson (“Wrapped in Red”), Lyle Lovett (“Release Me”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The top 12 artists perform.
• “You Oughta Know” – The lineup for the 2013 event highlighting emerging musicians at NYC’s Roseland Ballroom: Ed Sheeran, Emeli Sande, Haim, Johnnyswim, Lorde, The Lumineers, and Matt Nathanson. The show streams live online, then airs on VH1 November 21st.

(Seems many are seeking to piggyback on the hype created by today’s Lady Gaga release.)
• The Beatles – Today’s release of “On Air – Live At the BBC Volume 2” collects over 60 tracks plus conversations between the Fab Four and BBC hosts. Comes in a 2-CD or vinyl package with 48-page booklet.
• Deadmau5 – “We Are Friends Vol 2”, a new compilation of material previously recorded on his mau5trap imprint, is released today.
• Keane – Today the Brit alt-rockers release their 1st-ever greatest hits collection, “The Best of Keane”. A deluxe, 2-disc version includes a brand new song and 17 B-sides.
• The Killers – Their new best-of set, “Direct Hits”, releases today via Island Records. A deluxe edition includes 3 bonus tracks along with a documentary DVD.
• Lady Gaga – After months of teasers and stunts, “ARTPOP” is finally released. The first 500,000 physical copies will feature hot pink & silver foil, representing the original design by artist Jeff Koons. The album includes cameos by R Kelly, TI, Too Short, and Twista. In conjunction with the release, 3-day exhibitions called “ARTPOP Pop Up: A Lady Gaga Gallery” open today-Wednesday in NYC and LA.
• Mariah Carey – Today at 11 am (on 11/11/11) she releases the new track “The Art of Letting Go” via Facebook. She says the idea to release the song through social media was producer Jermaine Dupri’s and she’s scheduled to host an online Q&A in conjunction with the release.
• Rolling Stones – Today their 50th anniversary Hyde Park concerts from this Summer are released on Blu-ray and DVD. “Sweet Summer Sun – Hyde Park Live Starring Rolling Stones” features 2 hours of music from the band, plus backstage footage and more.
• Sammy Kershaw – 20 years after landing his first #1 country hit (“She Don’t Know She’s Beautiful”), he’s releasing “Big Hits: Volume 1”, re-recordings of 10 hits plus 2 new songs. Newly re-recorded songs include “Cadillac Style”, and “Queen of My Double Wide Trailer”.
• The Who – Today newly repackaged ‘Deluxe’ and limited-edition ‘Super Deluxe’ versions of their 1969 rock opera “Tommy” are out. The latter has been remixed in Surround Sound using the new Hi-Fidelity Pure Audio Blu-ray format. The set comes with an 80-page full-color book.

University of California Berkeley researchers have found a wife’s ability to keep calm and quickly regain composure after an argument is the key to long-term marital satisfaction, and is far more important than a husband’s post-fight reaction. The 13-year study of 80 relationships has found that when wives calm down quickly, the couple is more likely to be happier in both the short- and long-term. The cooling down period for husbands doesn’t seem to have the same dramatic effect. (Women resolve issues; guys go out to the garage and drink beer.)

Want to take your dog into a restaurant, workplace, even with you on an airplane? Canny New Yorkers have found a rather neat solution. You just ask your shrink to write a note explaining that your pet is not simply a pet, it’s an ‘Emotional Support Pet’, and therefore an essential tool for maintaining your mental health. Once you have the doctor’s orders, it can come with you wherever and whenever you want. (If it’s good for dogs, why not cats, gerbils, boas?)

Michigan-based company Backyard Brains has developed RoboRoach, an ‘electronic backpack’ that fits onto a cockroach, allowing its movements to be controlled by a mobile phone app. The creators claim the device is intended to get kids interested in neuroscience. The backpack overrides the insect’s antennae making it turn left or right at the flick of a switch. The device was formally launched Saturday, priced at $99. (They’re kidding, right? Is it April 1st?)
– “Christian Science Monitor”

A 4-year Florida State University study of over 200 newlywed couples has found that people who worry their husband or wife will leave them are more likely to cheat … or be cheated on. The findings match up with what’s called Attachment Theory, whereby each of us develops an attachment style – either ‘anxious’, ‘avoidant’, or ‘secure’ – based on our childhood relationship experiences. People with the ‘anxious’ attachment style are most afraid that others will leave them. (Bottom line: Don’t be clingy!)
– “Psychology Today”

NYC’s Museum of Sex recently opened its own bar called Play, which serves artistic drinks called ‘Exhibited Cocktails’. One of the first in the series is ‘Paredoila’, created by Dutch artist Bart Hess. The drink is designed to taste like ‘kissing an older man who has just shaved and smoked a cigarette’. To experience this cocktail, guests are invited to lick a glowing, viscous substance from a black, ribbed porcelain plate. Other creations on the menu include ‘Loose Women & Pickpockets’ and ‘She’s Leaving Home’. The drinks are priced at $14 each. (Thereby exhibiting the art of … price gouging.)

• Newly re-elected New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has been to more than 100 Bruce Springsteen concerts.
• Your feet can sweat up to 20 liters (5-and-a-quarter gallons) of fluid per year.


1960 [53] Stanley Tucci, Peekskill NY, movie actor (“The Hunger Games”, “The Devil Wears Prada”)/TV actor (“ER” 2007-08)

1962 [51] Demi (Demetria) Moore, Roswell NM, movie actress (“Margin Call”, “Ghost”)/former Mrs Ashton Kutcher 2005-12/former Mrs Bruce Willis 1987-2000

1964 [49] Calista Flockhart, Freeport IL, TV actress (“Brothers & Sisters” 2006-11, “Ally McBeal” 1997-2002)/wed to actor Harrison Ford since 2010

1974 [39] Leonardo DiCaprio, Hollywood CA, movie actor (“Django Unchained”, “Titanic”)  UP NEXT: “The Wolf of Wall Street”, opening December 25th.

• “Martinmas”, when they’ll stage the annual “Martinmas Goose Celebration” in front of the town hall of Sursee, Switzerland. Blindfolded participants try to cut down a suspended goose with a single sword stroke. The warm weather that (sometimes) occurs around this time is called ‘St Martin’s Summer’ in Europe, ‘Indian Summer’ in North America (uh, maybe ‘Aboriginal Summer’ or ‘Native Summer’?).

• “Origami Day”, celebrating the ancient Japanese art of paper-folding. Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch, hey look what I made … it’s a flu virus!

• “Remembrance Day”, commemorating the end of WWI at 11 am on the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. It’s observed in Canada & the UK, and in Belgium & France as “Armistice Day”. The original tradition is to observe 2 minutes silence at 11 am.

• “Singles Day” in China, begun by college students in the 1990s as a version of Valentines Day honoring all those who’ve yet to wed. It has developed into a major shopping day for gifts to woo that special someone. It’s also the occasion for the ‘I’m Looking For You’ market in Beijing, where singles list their personal data along with a picture, and the profile is posted publicly for others to view. (Sort of eHarmony … live.)

• “Veterans’ Day” in the USA, the 94th annual observance originally called “Armistice Day”, then renamed in 1954. The day now honors all American military veterans.

• “World Orphans Day”, a global event on the 2nd Monday of November to raise awareness and funding for the millions of children displaced by war, AIDS, and poverty.

1994 [19] “Interview With the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles”, the bigscreen adaptation of Anne Rice’s best-selling 1976 novel, opens in movie theaters (stars Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas, and Kirsten Dunst)

1978 [35] Donna Summer’s “MacArthur Park” reaches the top of the “Billboard Hot 100”, giving the ‘Queen of Disco’ her first #1 pop hit

1988 [25] ‘Loudest Measured Scream’ by a human … 128 decibels! (some guy in a zipper accident?)

[Tues] Young Readers Day
[Wed] World Kindness Day
[Thurs] 10th Billboard Touring Awards (NYC)
[Thurs] International Girls Day
[Thurs] Pickle Day
[Thurs] World Diabetes Day

Dear Santa Letter Week / Geography Awareness Week / Global Entrepreneurship Week / Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week / Pursuit of Happiness Week / World Kindness Week / Young Readers Week


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• “What do you have on tap?” (What’s cheap?)
• “You get this one, next round is on me.” (We won’t be here long enough for another round.)
• “I’ve had like 10 beers already.” (I’ve only had 3, but I need an excuse to behave this way.)
• “I’m not used to these darts.” (I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.)
• “You go ahead, I’ll catch a cab.” (I already lined up a ride home with your ex-girlfriend.)
• “I don’t have my ID on me.” (I’m 17.)
– First published in “BS” 1999.

• You bought it off a street vendor.
• The label lists the active ingredient as ‘nougat’.
• Your feet swell up, your ears catch on fire, your nose explodes.
• It came with a 100% guarantee from physician Dr Pepper.
• You’ve got hives the size of melons.
• This morning you had a fever of 183 degrees.
• Two weeks later, you die of the flu.
– First published in “BS” 2011.

It doesn’t get more passive-aggressive than your neighbors changing their wi-fi network name to ‘Stop Having Loud Parties’.

Scorned wives and girlfriends looking to call out the ‘other woman’ can now publicly shame the hussy by posting pictures and private info at the website Is this cool? Sometimes the mistress’ home address and/or phone number is given along with her full name, while the accusing person remains anonymous.

☎ What are the worst 4 words you can hear after sex? (“How about that then?” “Same time next year?” “Do you take VISA?”)

Question: If you ask women, THIS is the hottest hobby a man can have.
Answer: Photography.

Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity.

Chris Reid @ Energy 106 [CHWE] Winnipeg, Manitoba; Bob Matthews @ AM790 WNIS Norfolk, Virginia; Tash @ 96.5 Rock FM Lusaka, Zambia; Sam Burkett @ Q93.5 [KALQ] Alamosa, Colorado; and Jeff Foster @ Carolina Breeze Network, Spartanburg, South Carolina.

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