Wednesday, November 11, 2015        Edition: #5369

Deja Moo!

★ Caitlyn Jenner has been named “Out” magazine’s ‘Newsmaker Of the Year’. Kim Kardashian’s stepfather hit headlines in April after going public with her transition from male to female, and now the LGBT publication is honoring her with the #1 spot on its latest ‘Out 100’. Also on the list: actresses Lily Tomlin, Cynthia Nixon, and Raven-Symone; filmmakers Lee Daniels and Roland Emmerich; and musicians Jess Glynne and Carrie Brownstein (Sleater-Kinney).
★ Game-maker Activision Blizzard is launching a film studio. Activision Blizzard Studios will make original movies and TV series based on the company’s games. In the works: a TV series based on “Skylanders Academy” and films based on the top-selling “Call of Duty” military videogame starting in 2018 or 2019. A rep says the studio will ‘deliver the action that fans expect from this franchise’. Activision is already releasing a film based on “Warcraft” in 2016 through a partnership with Legendary Pictures.
– BBC Entertainment
★ Acting couple Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt have bought a Turkish villa. The $2.7 million seaside property is near the coastal town of Urla and features a 4-story mansion, swimming pool, and gym. They initially visited the region with their 6 children over the Summer. Real estate agents say average house prices in the area have already begun to rise due to the new celebrity residents. The Hollywood power couple already owns a number of homes in the US and France. They’re currently trying to offload their New Orleans LA home for $6.5 million.
★ And 49-year-old “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” director JJ Abrams has revealed the script for the next instalment is already completed. The moviemaker, who will executive produce the sequel, says there will still be endless rewrites before principal photography is due to start in Ireland next March. Rian Johnson is directing “Episode VIII”, which is still untitled. It’s scheduled for release in May 2017, just 17 months after Abrams’ “Force Awakens” this December 18th.

• American Express Unstaged (NYC) – Singer Ellie Goulding (“Delirium”) and actress Scarlett Johansson are pairing for tonight’s edition of this series in partnership with YouTube and VEVO. The live stream of Goulding’s concert at Hammerstein Ballroom is being directed by Johansson.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Justin Bieber (“Purpose”, out Friday).
• Hollywood Music in Media Awards (LA CA) – This annual celebration of music in film, TV, videogames, commercials and trailers is one of the better predictors of the ‘Best Original Score’ and ‘Best Original Song’ Golden Globe and Oscar categories. Brian Wilson, Jennifer Lopez, Lady Gaga, and Sam Smith are among the nominees for tonight’s 6th annual awards.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Dave Gahan Soulsavers (“Angels & Ghosts”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Broncho (“Just Enough Hip to Be Woman”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Adam Levine (“The Voice”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – George Ezra (“Wanted on Voyage”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Joss Stone (“Water For Your Soul”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Sam Smith (“In The Lonely Hour: Drowning Shadows Edition”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Viewer voting determines who moves on to the next round; Sawyer Fredericks performs.

• Billy Idol – The Brit classic rocker has announced his first-ever Las Vegas residency, which will begin in March at Mandalay Bay’s House of Blues. So far, just 12 dates have been confirmed between March and May. Pre-sales for “Billy Idol: Forever” began yesterday.
• Blake Shelton – He’s set to host Nickelodeon’s 2016 “Kids’ Choice Awards”. And yes, the country music star says he’s looking forward to getting ‘slimed’, a tradition at the event. The show, which honors kids’ favorites in film, music, and TV, airs on March 12th.
• Brantley Gilbert – His massive “Black Out Tour” starts tonight in Amsterdam, The Netherlands and ends April 30th in Lincoln NE. Along the way it visits Australia, England, Germany, and Scotland as well as Canada and the US.
• Chris Young – He’s announced his “I’m Coming Over World Tour 2016” in January, the followup to his Fall trip of the same name. The singer’s “Think of You” duet partner Cassadee Pope is the special guest. His 5th studio album, “I’m Comin’ Over”, is out November 13th.
• Cole Swindell – Tonight his 2nd annual “Down Home Tour” starts in NYC and continues through December 19th in Greenville SC. The 5-week run is in support of his new 5-song “Down Home Sessions” EP.
• Jennifer Lopez – The trailer for her upcoming NBC-TV cop show looks really intense. “Shades of Blue” will star J-Lo as corrupt cop ‘Harlee Santos’. The 13-episode inaugural season is scheduled to premiere on January 7th.
• Prince – The “Purple Rain” icon is set to perform in European countries including the UK, Austria, and Belgium with his “Prince Spotlight: Piano & A Microphone Tour”, during which he will perform solo at a piano. The tour is expected to start in Vienna, Austria on November 21st.
• Spice Girls – Mel B has been lined up to host a Brit version of “Lip Sync Battle” on UK’s Channel 5. Originally a “Tonight Show” bit, it evolved into a popular weekly program on Spike-TV in the US.

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Self-Licensing’ – The unconscious tendency to allow yourself to do something bad after you’ve done something good. (It may be why so many fall off the diet rails after ‘cheat days’.)
• ‘Shehemoth’ – A large and imposing woman. (If you are a shehemoth, you are big, badass, and kick ass.)
• ‘Walkscore’ – A measurement of how amenable a neighborhood is to walking. (The Walkscore website, which measures street addresses out of 100, seems to favor densely packed urban areas as most ‘walkable’.)

New research suggests that no woman is ‘totally straight’. Gay women tend to be exclusively sexually attracted to women, while straight women are more likely to be aroused by both sexes. Researchers have found that 28% of straight women are mostly aroused by their preferred sex, compared with 68% of gay women. Previous studies had already suggested that straight women can be aroused by both sexes when tested, but researchers have never looked at whether the same was true for gay women. The new University of Essex study concludes that women’s sexualities are much more complex than men. (Who are turned on by anything soft and warm.)
– BBC News

• 80% of those who have a billiards table at home say it never gets used.
• 33% of married women have thrown away their husband’s old clothes without telling him.
• 28% of people carry chewing gum with them at all times.
• 10% of couples have argued in the last month about closet space.
• 9% of adults still have a black light.
• 3% of husbands have lied to their wives about the cost of their engagement ring.

A new hi-tech machine can read lying faces better than humans. Humans aren’t very good at lie detection; one study has found that people can only guess when someone is lying a little more than 50% of the time. But a group of researchers working at the University of Michigan have developed an algorithm that can detect lies from videos at far higher rates than human interrogators … up to 82% of the time. The algorithm analyzes verbal and nonverbal behavior, including gaze, facial expression, hand movements, the complexity of the person’s syntax, and other factors. (Traditional polygraph tests are also less than reliable … analysts say they have too high a margin of error to be genuinely useful.)

Think your job sucks? Wait until you hear about these!
• Animal Inseminator – The ‘technician’ who introduces prepared semen into the genital tract of breeding animals. Bad job, but not half as bad as the ‘collector’.
• Brazilian Mosquito Researcher – Scientists fighting malaria study the biting habits of the vicious mosquito that spreads it by … offering themselves as bait.
• Buckingham Palace Guard – Hours of standing, no laughing allowed. Also several hours a day of cleaning and pressing uniforms and polishing boots.
• Calcutta Sewer Cleaner – Drain blockages in this Indian metropolis are cleared by divers equipped with just a hoe and a steel bar … and wearing only underpants.
• Cat Food Quality Control – Job involves burying face in a huge tub and sniffing to make sure it’s fresh, then plunging arms in it up to the elbows and groping for bony bits to be removed.
• Flatus Odor Judge – Common in research labs of mouthwash companies, where the halitosis-inflicted blow great gusts of breath in their faces to test product effectiveness.
• Janitor in Adult Movie Theater – Icky work that you don’t want to admit to anyone that you do.
• Portable Toilet Cleaner – Using a tank and a vacuum wand, cleaners suck up waste, then wash down all surfaces that could possibly be soiled, including the walls.
• Roadkill Remover – Peeling the remains of creatures in various stages of decay off roads, all the while trying to avoid being hit by oncoming traffic.

• There are enough credit cards in circulation to wrap around the Earth at the equator 3-and-a-half times.
• The reason credit cards expire is because the magnetic strip suffers a lot of abuse. Typically it will last around 3-to-4 years.
• VISA stands for Visa International Service Association. This is known as a recursive acronym because it refers to itself.
• All credit cards are the same size (85.60 mm x 53.98 mm).
• Women are more likely than men to pay the minimum amount and carry a credit card balance.
• The average consumer has 1.96 credit cards.
• Because they don’t make any money off of them, credit card companies have a name for people who pay off their debt every month … ‘deadbeats’.
– Sourced from


1960 [55] Stanley Tucci, Peekskill NY, movie actor (“The Hunger Games” films, “The Devil Wears Prada”)/TV actor (“ER” 2007-08)

1962 [53] Demi (Demetria) Moore, Roswell NM, movie actress (“Margin Call”, “Ghost”)/former Mrs Ashton Kutcher 2005-12/former Mrs Bruce Willis 1987-2000

1964 [51] Calista Flockhart, Freeport IL, TV actress (“Brothers & Sisters” 2006-11, “Ally McBeal” 1997-2002)/wed to actor Harrison Ford since 2010

1974 [41] Leonardo DiCaprio, Hollywood CA, movie star (“The Wolf of Wall Street”, “Django Unchained”)

• “Diwali” begins, a major Indian festival for 5 consecutive days at the end of the Hindu month Ashwayuja. Traditional earthen lamps and fireworks are symbols of the celebration.

• “Martinmas”, when they’ll stage the annual “Martinmas Goose Celebration” at the town hall in Sursee, Switzerland. Blindfolded participants try to cut down a suspended goose with a single sword stroke. The warm weather that (sometimes) occurs around this time is called ‘St Martin’s Summer’ in Europe, ‘Indian Summer’ in North America (uh, maybe ‘Native Summer’?).

• “Origami Day”, celebrating the ancient Japanese art of paper-folding. Scrunch, scrunch, scrunch, hey look what I made … it’s a flu virus!

• “Red Lipstick Day”, a movement to support women of courage and strength – the heroes and survivors of sexual violence, abuse, and female circumcision.

• “Remembrance Day”, commemorating the end of WWI at 11 am on the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918. It’s observed in Canada & the UK, and in Belgium & France as “Armistice Day”. The original tradition is to observe 2 minutes silence at 11 am.

• “Singles Day” in China, begun by college students in the 1990s as a version of Valentines Day honoring all those who’ve yet to wed. It has developed into a major shopping day for gifts to woo that special someone. It’s scheduled on 11-11 because it’s the date with the most ‘singles’.

• “Veterans’ Day” in the USA, the 96th annual observance originally called “Armistice Day”, then renamed in 1954. The day now honors all American military veterans.

2004 [11] M’hammed Soumayah, bodyguard for Liza Minelli, sues the aging singer for $100 million for allegedly forcing him to have sex with her or be fired

2006 [09] Carrie Underwood tops the ‘Billboard Country Songs’ chart with “Before He Cheats”

2011 [04] The clock registers 11:11 on 11-11-11 (a hot date for many couples to wed)

2009 [06] Then-19-year-old country music sensation Taylor Swift becomes the youngest artist to ever win ‘Entertainer Of the Year’ at the “CMA Awards”

[Thurs] Fancy Rat & Mouse Day
[Fri] Friday the 13th
[Sat] Spicy Guacamole Day
[Sat] International Selfie Day
[Sun] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
This Week Is … Dear Santa Letter Week
This Month Is … Epilepsy Awareness Month


✓ ‘Encroachment’ – When someone stops by your cubicle after a really garlicky lunch.
✓ ‘Clipping’ – When personal fingernail (or toenail) grooming takes place in public.
✓ ‘False Start’ – For bad pick-up lines. You can’t make a move before getting the proper signal.
✓ ‘Spearing’ – For stabbing your dining mate’s entrée when he or she isn’t looking.
✓ ‘Too Many Men’ – When the dude saturation point has reached peak bro.
✓ ‘5-Second Violation’ – A penalty for handshakes that go on far too long.
✓ ‘Checking From Behind’ – Someone should be blowing the whistle on rude catcalls.
✓ ‘Illegal Motion’ – A penalty for dancers who have no rhythm and simply flail.
✓ ‘Holding’ – Whenever a customer service line is experiencing ‘longer than normal’ hold times.
✓ ‘Illegal Equipment’ – Your fedora looks silly, and oh … about that septum piercing.
– Adapted from

All I ask is a chance to prove money can’t make me happy.

Line up 2 complete strangers and conference them together on the phone. Offer them prizes escalating in value for each item they have in common in their refrigerators. Let them alternate picking items. They keep playing as long as they keep matching. If you’re worried about them cheating, get them to read off product labels. (According to Kraft Foods, 92% have ketchup in the fridge, 86% margarine, 79% mustard, and 77% Worcestershire sauce.)

☎ What was the last really great live event (of any kind) that you attended?

Question: About 1-in-7 dogs have chewed on THESE and ruined them.
Answer: Eyeglasses.

Confession is good for the soul but bad for your career.

Printer Friendly Version