Friday, November 12, 2010        Edition: #4385
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

More bad news for 18-year-old rehab resident Demi Lovato: RadarOnline claims a video is being shopped around showing her doing cocaine (any wonder her Disney Channel sitcom “Sonny With a Chance” is in trouble?) . . .Justin Rego, the guy who went on “The Bachelorette” when he already had a girlfriend at home, has begun dating Angelina from “Jersey Shore” (they deserve each other!) . . . Retiring anchor Mary Hart’s replacement on “Entertainment Tonight” has been announced: 13-year “Access Hollywood” host Nancy O’Dell will take her place behind the “ET” desk in January (28 years in one job – unheard of these days!) . . . More speculation on a pending royal wedding: “Us Weekly” is reporting Prince William & Kate Middleton, both 28, will wed next year after 8 years of dating and 2 brief splits (‘Princess Kate’ – sounds funny) . . . “OK!” magazine claims 46-year-old actress Sandra Bullock has been talking to the adoption agency that set her up with baby Louis about another child, and also recently spent time with an anonymous new man in her life on the Caribbean island of Anguilla (why you’ve never heard of it – you can’t afford it) . . . When 47-year-old Bret Michaels was asked on “Fox & Friends” (Fox New Channel) this week if the rumored affair with Miley Cyrus’ 43-year-old mom Tish is for real, he replied simply: “The answer is no” (BS translation: The ‘Rock of Love’ doesn’t sleep with anyone over 21) . . . And former NFL QB Kurt Warner is whining about getting voted off “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) this week, claiming it was ‘unfair’ and he ‘should have gotten a bigger score’ (yeah, we thought that after losing 20 bucks on Super Bowl 43, dude).

• “Gemini Awards” (Global) – Saturday the 25th honors celebrating excellence in Canadian English-language TV are hosted by “Glee” star Cory Monteith. Musical performances include Elvis Costello w/Feist, and Ron Sexsmith.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Gene Simmons (KISS).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight A Perfect Circle (“Deep Cuts”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Kings of Leon (“Come Around Sundown”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Tonight Reba McEntire (“All The Woman I Am”).
• “Mark Twain Prize for American Humor” (PBS) – Sunday the pre-taped gala honoring Tina Fey (“30 Rock”) with the nation’s top humor prize at the Kennedy Center in Washington DC includes salutes from 88-year-old actress Betty White, Jennifer Hudson, Jimmy Fallon, Jon Hamm (“Mad Men”), Steve Martin, and various past & present “Saturday Night Live” cast members.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Scarlett Johansson; musical guest Arcade Fire.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Cassandra Wilson (“Silver Pony”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Bon Jovi (“Bon Jovi Greatest Hits – The Ultimate Collection”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Kevin McHale (“Glee”).

• Blake Shelton – A tabloid is reporting that he’ll wed fellow country star Miranda Lambert on May 14, 2011. He tells TQR Country [WTQR] in Winston-Salem NC the leak infuriated her … but he didn’t deny the report.
• John Lennon – Tonight’s “30th Annual John Lennon Tribute” at NYC’s Beacon Theatre features performances by Cyndi Lauper, Jackson Browne, Joan Osborne, Patti Smith, and Shelby Lynne, among others.
• John Mayer – “Star” tabloid reports that married TV chef Giada De Laurentiis has been hooking up with him, causing her to demand an apology and immediate retraction. (Maybe it isn’t true … for once.)
• Kings Of Leon – Sunday in Boston MA, they play one of just 3 stateside dates scheduled for 2010 in support of their 5th album, “Come Around Sundown”.
• Miranda Lambert – The triple-“CMA Award”-winner is looking svelte these days because she’s watching what she eats and hired a personal trainer to ‘kick her butt’ during her recent tour. Her goal, she says, was to ‘get rid of the jiggles & wiggles’. For the record, she’s down to a size 6.
• Ozzy Osbourne – Tonight the North American leg of his “Scream” tour kicks off in Victoria BC.
It’s his first headlining North American tour since 2007. Judas Priest frontman Rob Halford is the opening act.
• Rolling Stones – Swedish tabloid “Aftonbladets” claims Keith Richards threatened its music reviewer and ‘hit him in the head’ during an interview in Paris, France this week about his new autobiography “Life”. Seems the same journalist trashed a Stones concert a few years back.
• Tug McGraw – Tonight his annual ‘Songwriters & Storytellers’ fundraising dinner takes place at the Gargiulo Vineyards in Yountville CA. Proceeds from both it and Saturday’s “An Evening With Tim McGraw & Friends” concert go to his Tug McGraw Foundation charity.
• White Stripes – Jack White tells “Vanity Fair” they’re gearing up for a return. Now that he’s got a number of side projects out of his system, he says, he & Meg are looking to get back into the studio and start afresh.

• “Skyline” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): Strange lights descend on the city of Los Angeles, drawing people outside like moths to a flame where an extraterrestrial force threatens to swallow the entire human population off the face of the Earth. The film was almost entirely filmed at co-director Greg Strause’s condo building in Marina Del Rey CA. No-name cast.
• “Unstoppable” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): Denzel Washington & Chris Pine play a railroad engineer and a conductor scrambling to stop a runaway train loaded with toxic chemicals. Co-stars Rosario Dawson. Directed by Tony Scott (“The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3”). Based on a real runaway train incident in 2001 near Toledo, Ohio.

• In Korawan, India there’s now a bank that allows customers to deposit or borrow … goats. The bank loans goats to women interested in taking up goat-breeding as a full-time profession. Whenever a loaned goat gives birth to kids, generally 2-to-3 in number, one of them is then deposited with the bank again. (They have a really strange-looking ATM.)
• Posh London department store Harrods has unveiled a million-dollar advent calendar by Porsche Design. This traditional holiday season calendar has little doors that open to reveal surprise gifts that include … a rose gold chronograph watch, a designer kitchen, and a 28-ft (8.5-m) speedboat. There are just 5 of the calendars available worldwide, one for each continent. (Dammit, we were hoping to pick up 2-or-3 to give away on our show!)
• Moscow’s notorious Butyrka prison has housed everyone from author Alexander Solzhenitsyn to Hitler’s nephew. So it’s a bit surprising that, before the end of the year, it’s having sunbeds installed, and other spa facilities such as mud baths are being contemplated for the near future. (Hear that rumbling? Stalin rolling over.)
• It’s been discovered that a checkout clerk at a supermarket on the UK’s Channel Islands has accidentally been overcharging customers. It seems her seat at the cash register was so low that when she bent over to weigh fruits and vegetables … her ample bosom also hit the scale. (How much are those melons again?)

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … we will wait in line for just 11 minutes on average before losing our cool. A new UK study finds that those 55-plus get frustrated 3 minutes faster than those under 35, but younger people are more prone to moan and complain to those nearby. (This is why Disney World attractions are so much fun, right?)
• Scientists say … chewing gum is good for you. Matthew Messina, a consumer adviser for the American Dental Association, says it doesn’t matter whether it’s sugar-free or not, gum causes us to salivate, and saliva is a buffering solution that washes the teeth. (Sounds like somebody’s looking for more patients!)
• Scientists say … the bushcricket is the animal with the largest testicles in relation to its body. University of Derby researchers calculate that the grasshopper species’ testicles make up a whopping 14% of its body weight. (Hop hop bang. Ow! Hop hop bang. Ow! Hop hop bang. Ow!)
• Scientists say … the feeling that you have earned food actually makes it taste better. Researchers at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland say the effect lasts for at least 24 hours after the act of working hard to get it. (Does hauling your ass off the couch to order a pizza count?)

A new hi-tech chip is being developed to be used in mobile devices to diagnose sexually transmitted diseases. A team of UK doctors and technology experts is working on the device, similar to a pregnancy test kit. Users who suspect they’ve been infected would put urine or saliva onto the memory card, plug it into their phone or computer and receive a diagnosis quickly and privately, telling them which – if any – STDs they have. Some $6.5 million has already been invested in the bizarre project. (This could lead to some odd pickup lines.)

Every human inherits 250-to-300 genes that don’t work, according to scans of DNA used by the international “1,000 Genome Project”. Luckily, most of us inherit backup copies of the same genes from our other parent … so no harm done.
– “New Scientist”


1944 [66] Al Michaels, Brooklyn NY, TV sportscaster (“NBC Sunday Night Football” since 2007, “ABC Monday Night Football” 1986-2006)/National Sportscasters & Sportswriters Association Hall of Fame (1998)/5 Emmy Awards for Outstanding Play-by-Play Host/Hollywood Walk of Fame (2004)

1945 [65] Neil Young, Toronto ON (raised Winnipeg MB), classic rocker (“Heart of Gold”, Crosby Stills Nash &Young-“Woodstock”)/Farm Aid co-founder/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2000)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1995-solo, 1997-Buffalo Springfield)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (1982)

1979 [31] Cote de Pablo, Santiago, Chile, TV actress (‘Ziva David’ on “NCIS” since 2005)

1980 [30] Ryan Gosling, London ON (raised Cornwall ON), movie actor (“Lars & The Real Girl”, “The Notebook”)  UP NEXT: “Crazy, Stupid, Love”, opening April 2011.

1982 [28] Anne Hathaway, Brooklyn NY, movie actress (“Alice in Wonderland”, “The Princess Diaries”)  COMING UP: “Love & Other Drugs”, opening November 24th.

1984 [26] Omarion (Omari Ishmael Grandberry), Inglewood CA, R&B singer (f/Timbaland-“Ice Box”, B2K-“Bump, Bump, Bump”)/movie actor (“Somebody Help Me”, “You Got Served”)

Producer/director/actor Garry Marshall (“Pretty Woman”) is 76; TV/movie actor Chris Noth (“Sex & The City”) is 56; TV personality/actress Whoopi Goldberg (“The View”) is 55; TV actor Rex Linn (“CSI: Miami”) is 54; TV host Jimmy Kimmel (“Jimmy Kimmel Live”) is 43; Movie actor Gerard Butler (“300”) is 41; Rock bassist Nikolai Fraiture (The Strokes) is 32.

British throne heir Prince Charles is 62; Rapper Reverend Run (Run-DMC) is 46; Rock bassist Brian Yale (matchbox twenty) is 42; Movie actor Josh Duhamel (“Transformers”) is 38; Rock drummer Travis Barker (Blink-182) is 35; Rock bassist Tobin Esperance (Papa Roach) is 31.

• “Chicken Soup For the Soul Day”, a celebration of who you are, where you’ve been, where you’re going, and who you will be thankful to when you get there, according to the creators of the mega-selling book series.
• “Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day”, when kids with a mother who’s gone back-to-school are encouraged to honor her by making her lunch. (Or could it just be payback for all those peanut butter & baloney sandwiches mom made?)
• “Pizza With the Works Except Anchovies Day”. The world’s first true pizzeria, Antica Pizzeria Port’Alba, opened in 1830 and is still in business today in Naples, Italy. Italian immigrant Gennaro Lombardi opened the first North American pizzeria in 1895 in NYC. Pizza is now consumed all over the world … with or without anchovies!
• “Shallow Persons Awareness Week” begins, for all those people who believe beauty is only hair deep.

• “World Kindness Day”, the culmination of the 16th annual “World Kindness Week” sponsored by the non-profit Random Acts of Kindness Foundation.

• “Guacamole Day”, honoring the avocado, tomato & onion treat that resembles baby poop.
• “International Girls Day”, celebrating all kinds of girls with all kinds of interests and abilities. It’s an opportunity to build confidence in girls and help them realize their potential.
• “Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day”, a day to remind everyone of the benefits of joy and laughter.
• “Pickle Appreciation Day”, a day to gear up for some tangy, spicy, and yummy fun.
• “World Diabetes Day”, recognizing what’s becoming a worldwide epidemic. Since 2000, the number of people worldwide with diabetes has more than doubled.

1910 [100] 1st ‘Movie Stunt’ (a jump into NYC’s Hudson River from a burning balloon)

1990 [20] US Internal Revenue Service seizes holdings in 6 states to satisfy a $6.5-million tax judgment against Willie Nelson (leads to the album “The IRS Tapes: Who’ll Buy My Memories?”)

1983 [27] ‘Cabbage Patch Dolls’ debut and quickly become the holiday season ‘must-have’

1955 [55] Washington State & San Jose State play a college football game in front of the lowest paid attendance on record … one person (Look, she’s doing ‘the wave’!)

[Mon] America Recycles Day
[Mon] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Mon] I Love to Write Day
[Tues] International Day for Tolerance
[Tues] Educational Support Professionals Day
[Wed] Homemade Bread Day
[Thurs] Guinness World Record Day
This Week Is … Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week
This Month Is … Peanut Butter Lovers Month


Use ‘em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – You’re in luck! What you thought was severe nausea will turn out to only be a mild case of salmonella poisoning.
• Taurus – Your feet will continue to trouble you today, although you won’t be quite able to put your finger on what’s wrong … you haven’t been that flexible in years.
• Gemini – Today you will sprain an ankle, chip a tooth, drop a priceless heirloom, and lose your toothbrush. But be happy … it’s your best day of the year!
• Cancer – Today is not a good day to be yourself. In fact, that might even be dangerous. Be
someone else, until further notice!
• Leo – Monkeys can make awesome presents for someone you love but be aware they might poo in your loved one’s hat.
• Virgo – You will contemplate nothingness today, however somethingness will keep intruding upon your thoughts.
• Libra – A romantic episode will take you by surprise. Tip: The important thing to remember when dealing with circus performers, is not to suggest having a ‘fling’.
• Scorpio – Good day to call an old friend and reminisce. It’s much easier than trying to reminisce with a new friend.
• Sagittarius – Time to stop beating around the bush. Beat the bush itself!
• Capricorn – Make some leek soup day today. Despite your recent success shoplifting vegetables, it’s recommend you buy a leek not take one.
• Aquarius – Try not to be too impulsive today. Ask yourself if you really need that howitzer or if it just seems like something fun to have.
• Pisces – Excellent day to fill some pantyhose with popcorn and do the reindeer dance.

The end justifies the jeans.

How much should a guy spend on a first date? (Perhaps surprisingly in a recent survey, men suggest $108 on average, while women settle for $85.)

Today’s Question: Most of us have 5-or-6 of THESE in our home.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Takeout menus.

The most solid stone is the lowest one in the foundation.

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