Monday, November 14, 2011        Edition: #4629
It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

• Saturday night at the 3rd annual “Governors Awards”, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences celebrated the career of 70-year-old actor James Earl Jones. His almost 50-year career has included memorable roles in “Roots” (as Alex Haley), “Star Wars” (as ‘Darth Vader’), and “The Lion King” (as ‘Mufasa’). His distinctive voice is one of Hollywood’s most recognizable (“This is CNN”). Other recipients of special awards included make-up artist Dick Smith and Oprah Winfrey, who received the ‘Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award’. (For quitting TV?)
• Actor Johnny Depp says he doesn’t ‘give a rat’s a–‘ if “The Rum Diary” is a financial success. The movie, based on the semi-biographical book by gonzo journalist Hunter S Thompson, has proven a flop at the domestic box office since its release, but Depp says it’s always ‘a crap shoot’ whether or not a film will make money. He thinks this one will have ‘a shelf life’ and will stick around for people to enjoy for a long time. (And besides … he already got paid.)
• Clothes-horse Adriana Lima has publically advised teens not to starve themselves or only drink liquids when attempting to lose weight. That’s a bit of a back-pedal from an earlier statement about how she prepares for the high-profile annual Victoria’s Secret show. She told “Daily Telegraph” she works out twice a day and drinks only protein shakes for 9 days. Quote: “No solids at all so you dry out, sometimes you can lose up to 8 lbs just from that.” (Clearly someone’s spoken to her about being a role model as well as a fashion model.)
– “ET Canada”
• Remember that soldier who posted a YouTube video asking Justin Timberlake to accompany her to the annual Marine Corps ball in Washington DC? Timberlake, who at the time was flogging his new movie “Friends With Benefits”, accepted. Well, Saturday night was the night. Just ahead of the big do, Corporal Kelsey de Santis, who is stationed in Quantico VA, told “Access Hollywood” she might challenge Timberlake to a dance-off. And as to whether the night would lead to ‘benefits’, she said “I guess that’s up to JT.” (He’s likely never done a Marine.)
– “Daily Dish”
• A pregnant reality TV star who dated Mel Gibson briefly is reportedly telling friends he’s the father of her unborn baby. 35-year-old mother-to-be Laura Bellizzi, who appeared on VH1’s “Secrets of Aspen” in 2010, dated Mel early this Summer. They were last seen together at the Skybar in West Hollywood on June 15th. Belizzi has made no public comment but a source close to Gibson claims that it’s ‘physically impossible’ for the 55-year-old actor to have been the father. (He still isn’t finished paying for the last one.)
– “Star Magazine”
• With 4 more days to go until opening night, “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1” has already sold out more than 2,300 screenings via advance-ticket sellers Fandango and And editor Phil Contrino says his movie tracking site is now predicting a $155-million opening weekend for the film. That would be enough to make “Breaking Dawn Part 1” the top-opening “Twilight” movie, and the 3rd-biggest-opening Hollywood movie of all-time. (Now you know why they split it into 2 parts.)
– E! Online

• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tony Bennett (“Duets 2”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – The Belle Brigade (“The Belle Brigade”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Bela Fleck & The Flecktones (“Rocket Science”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Kooks (“Inside In/Inside Out”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Miranda Lambert (“Four The Record”).

• Coldplay – They’ve announced a 2012 stadium tour of the UK, with 5 massive gigs in soccer stadiums in late May and early June. The band promises on their website there’ll be news about gigs in North America and Europe soon.
• Jennifer Lopez – She’s said to have been quietly dating dancer Casper Smart for several weeks. He’s appeared on “Glee” and in the movie “Step Up 3-D” and is now backing up J-Lo on tour. Lopez was married to dancer Cris Judd in 2001-02 … for 10 whole months. (You should never wed the help.)
• Katy Perry – She leads music nominees for the “2012 People’s Choice Awards”, with 7 nods. The hardware will be handed out on January 11th.
• Lady Antebellum – Their 3rd album, “Own the Night”, has been certified platinum by the RIAA for sales of 1 million units just 4 weeks after its release. The group has now sold a career total of 7 million albums worldwide.
• Michael Jackson – An auction will be held December 17th to sell off the contents of the rented home in Holmby Hills, California where he was living when he passed away. MTV News reports the auction will include fine art and home furnishings.
• Nickelback – They will take the stage for the halftime show at the Detroit Lions-Green Bay Packers NFL game Thanksgiving Day, despite a fan petition to dump them. Chad Kroeger says, “We always love playing in Detroit, our fans there have been tremendously supportive of us through the years.” (Apparently until now.)
• Van Halen – Sammy Hagar tells “Rolling Stone” it will be David Lee Roth not him fronting Van Halen if they play as rumored at the “Grammy Nominations Concert Live” November 30th (CBS). Quote: “If Eddie is in the same condition he was the last time I saw him, I don’t want to step onstage with him.”

• 19 wanted criminals have been arrested by Chesterfield Police in the UK after being tricked into showing up for … free beer. Dozens who had evaded arrest were sent letters asking them to call a marketing company in order to win a free case of beer. When they showed up on an arranged date to collect their prize, handcuffs were slapped on. (Even worse … no beer!)
• Getting drunk first thing in the morning never tasted so good! Rogue brewery has released a beer called ‘Voodoo Doughnut’ that’s maple bacon-flavored, and comes in a horrifying Pepto-Bismal pink bottle. If you’re bold enough to want wrap your lips around this fatty, smoky brew, you’ll have to drop $13-a-bottle. (One sampler says it ‘smells like a candied ashtray’. Mmm!)
• The CEO of Irish discount airline Ryanair says he hopes to offer in-flight applications that will allow passengers to gamble, play games, and watch mainstream movies as well as … porn. Users would log in to the Ryanair app using their iPads or smartphones. Michael O’Leary reasons ‘hotels around the world have it, so why wouldn’t we?’ (And you thought loud snoring guys, crying kids, and armrest hogs were annoying seatmates!)
– “The Sun”


A look at who we are and the things we do …
• 76% of us have been attracted to someone because of their cologne or perfume.
• 75% of men admit women are WAY better at multi-tasking than they are.
• 74% of shoppers notice the music in a store.
• 70% of us say our tipping habits haven’t changed due to the economy.
• 55% of us forget to send thank-you cards for gifts.
• 13% of us have been ‘dumped’ in a car.

Location-based social networks were one of the top 5 tech trends of 2010. Nowadays, location is baked into pretty much everything that developers create as mobile and social apps are location-enhanced. You ‘check in’ somewhere using geo-social networks like Foursquare, Gowalla, and Facebook Places. Location-based services like Yelp utilize the geographic position of your mobile device to figure out what’s nearby. (And also assist burglars to ‘check in’ at your home when you’re elsewhere.)
– ReadWrite


Before they say yes to the dress, a growing number of Indian brides – or at least their families – are saying yes to ‘wedding detectives’. Agencies say they’ve seen a huge rise in pre-matrimonial investigations to check a suitor’s background, because more people are meeting online and families are less involved. Proponents claim it’s not spying, it’s just learning about a groom’s background, such as earnings, family history, and past relationships. It’s a direct result of a decline in India’s tradition of arranged marriages, in which relatives would match up couples. (Would you really want to know all the dirt about your betrothed?)
– BBC News

One-out-of-20 people have an extra rib.


1948 [63] Prince Charles (Philip Arthur George of Wales), London UK, heir to the British throne/married Camilla Parker Bowles since 2005/married to Lady Diana Spencer (1981-96)/father of princes William & Harry

1968 [43] Brian Yale, Woodbridge CT, alt-rock bassist (Matchbox 20–“Unwell”, “Bent”)

1970 [41] Brendan Benson, Royal Oak MI, rock musician-singer-songwriter (The Raconteurs-“Salute Your Solution”, “Steady As She Goes”)

1972 [39] Josh Duhamel [‘due-MEL’], Minot ND, movie actor (“Transformers” films)/TV actor (“Las Vegas” 2003-08)/wed to Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie since 2009

1975 [36] Travis Barker, Fontana CA, rock drummer (Blink 182-“Up All Night”, “I Miss You”, +44-“When Your Heart Stops Beating”)

1977 [34] Brian Dietzen, Niwot CO, TV actor (‘Jimmy Palmer’ on “NCIS” since 2004)

1979 [32] Tobin Esperance, Vacaville CA, rock bassist (Papa Roach-“Lifeline”, “Last Resort”)

• “International Girls Day”, instigated by Kappa Delta Sorority to celebrate all kinds of girls with all kinds of interests and abilities. It’s an opportunity to build confidence in girls and help them realize their potential.

• “Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day”, encouraging us to take things a little slower, take a mental step back and find some balance.

• “Operating Room Nurse Day”, the highlight of “Operating Room Nurse Week”. How do you celebrate? Sutcher self.

• “Pickle Appreciation Day”, a day to gear up for some tangy, spicy and yummy fun.

• “World Diabetes Day”, recognizing what’s becoming a worldwide epidemic. Since 2000, the number of people worldwide with diabetes has more than doubled. In Canada, there are more than 2 million people with diabetes.

• “World Orphans Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Monday of November to raise awareness of the plight of orphans and displaced children around-the-world.

2002 [09] Kermit the Frog receives a star on the “Hollywood Walk of Fame” (“The Muppets” movie opens November 23rd.)

1991 [20] Michael Jackson’s “Black or White” video premieres on FOX-TV, following “The Simpsons” (proves so controversial due to Jackson’s crotch-grabbing and car-wrecking that 4 minutes are edited out of future versions)

1982 [29] 1st ‘Domed Stadium’ in Canada opens (BC Place in Vancouver)


1993 [18] Miami’s Don Shula becomes ‘Winningest Coach in NFL History’ by beating the Philadelphia Eagles for his 325th victory (finishes career in 1995 with 347 wins and is elected to Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1997)

[Tues] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Tues] Guinness World Record Day
[Wed] International Day for Tolerance
[Wed] Educational Support Professionals Day
[Thurs] National Unfriend Day
[Thurs] Homemade Bread Day
[Thurs] Use Less Stuff Day

Adoption Week / Geography Awareness Week / Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week / World Kindness Week / Young Reader’s Week


A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
It’s a fact of life – we often lose money, time, energy, appetite, happiness and/or health because of the improbable actions of some stupid person. But who knew stupidity wasn’t just random? Apparently economics professor Carlo Cipolla of UC Berkeley, who actually took the time and effort to lay out it’s guiding principles for “Whole Earth Review”…
• Basic Law #5: A stupid person is the most dangerous type of person.
• Basic Law #4: Non-stupid people always underestimate the damaging power of stupid individuals.
• Basic Law #3: A stupid person is a person who causes losses to another person while himself deriving no gain.
• Basic Law #2: The probability that a certain person be stupid is independent of any other characteristic of that person, in the same way that one is red-haired or belongs to a certain blood group.
• Basic Law #1: Everyone underestimates the number of stupid individuals in circulation.
– First published in “BS” 2005.

What’s your most meaningful family heirloom?

The average dog can make about 10 different vocal sounds. How many different vocal sounds can the average cat make?
a. 5
b. 20
c. 100 [CORRECT]

Hear about the midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison? She was a small medium at large.

Question: When it comes to smells, a recent poll finds our favorite is fresh-baked bread, and THIS is #2.
Answer: Freshly-bathed baby.

Many an optimist has become rich by buying out a pessimist.

Traci Lee @ Star93 FM [WHJT] Clinton, Mississippi; Dean Wendt @ The New NCK 94-9 [KNCK] Concordia, Kansas; Lenny Firth @ 107.9 Life FM Adelaide, South Australia; Scott Fraser @ 90.1 FM The Heat [CRNC] Welland, Ontario. Welcome, all!

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