Wednesday, November 15, 2017 – Edition: #6098

Sheeters Always Prosper!

★ “The Walking Dead” fans have a new way to cozy up and watch season 8 of their favorite show — thanks to a custom wine collection. The three hand-crafted blends are:
• Rick Grimes 2016 California Petite Sirah — which, according to the site, is “bold, dark, and balanced.”
• Daryl Dixon 2016 California Cabernet Sauvignon — with extracted flavors of vanilla, dark chocolate and caramel.
• Negan California Bourbon Barrel Red Blend — with flavors of “ripe black fruits, coffee beans, and dried herbs.”
Each bottle retails for $22 — or you can buy a full case of 12 bottles for $208.
(Which is best paired with separated entrails?)
★ Now you too can be master of your own Seinfeld domain.  For the first time, Sony Pictures Home Entertainment has released downloadable digital versions of all 180 episodes of the nine-season series, including instant classics like “The Soup Nazi,” “The Bubble Boy,” and “The Muffin Tops.”  If you still have that puffy shirt sitting in a closet somewhere, now may be the time to bust it out (along with a Snickers bar — complete with knife and fork, of course).
★ Tyrese Gibson now plans to serve as his own attorney in his ongoing court battle surrounding his daughter. Gibson is locked in a legal battle with his ex-wife Norma, who is seeking to obtain a permanent restraining order against him after alleging that he had pushed their 10-year-old daughter Shayla to the ground and beat her in a rage.  Over the weekend, Gibson revealed that he has started a fund to help other fathers fund their own custody battles.
★ Jack Black is “annoyed” at actor Chris Hemsworth after watching ‘Thor: Ragnarok’ and discovering that his film used they used the same Led Zeppelin song that was used in Black’s movie ‘School of Rock’ (The Immigrant Song). They are now embroiled in a social media feud known as the ‘Battle of the Jams’ (pretend, obviously).

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Gary Oldman, Gigi Hadid, Darryl Strawberry, Macklemore
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jordan Peele, Alia Shawkat, Paul Mecurio
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): TBA
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Kim Kardashian West, Ludacris, Amy Shark
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Kathy Bates, Seann William Scott, Jeff Caldwell ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jerry O’Connell, Melissa Gorga
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Hari Kondabolu
• “The Talk” (CBS): Saoirse Ronan
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Gal Gadot, Gary Oldman
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kim Kardashian West, Imagine Dragons
• “Survivor” (CBS): Playing With the Devil. One castaway finds a secret advantage with a special twist; concentration is key to an individual immunity challenge.
• “Mythbusters” (SCIENCE): Series reboot features new hosts.

• Lady Gaga – stopped her concert on Saturday in Uncasville, Connecticut to reassure a bleeding fan that medical assistance was on the way.  After asking the girl, who had been hit in the face by an object, if she was OK, Gaga dedicated her next song to the fan, then announced from the stage, “Make sure to get that girl a backstage pass too.”
• Justin Bieber – his song ‘What Do You Mean?’ has been determined to be one of the songs most likely to be enjoyed by those with psychopathic traits, according to a study of New York University students.  Also at the top of the list?  Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’.  Least closely related to psychopathy: ‘My Sharona’ by The Knack.
• Michael Bublé – is planning his return to the stage after announcing last November that he was taking a break from music to be there for his 4-year-old son, Noah, who was battling cancer.  His wife has posted upcoming dates on Facebook, including that he will be headlining London’s British Summer Time at Hyde Park BST Hyde Park on July 13.
• Prince – his estate is accusing Jay-Z’s Roc Nation of fabricating documents in their legal battle over the rights to stream his music.  NPG records sued Roc Nation and Jay-Z’s music streaming site, Tidal, last year.
• Jeff Lynne’s ELO – have announced a 10-city North American beginning in August 2018.  They will be ELO’s first North American shows in more than 35 years.  The band’s live concert CD and DVD ‘Wembley or Bust’ comes out on Friday.
• Iron Maiden – have announced the ‘Legacy Of The Beast World Tour’ for 2018.  They will play dates throughout Europe between May and August next year.  Meantime, singer Bruce Dickinson’s autobiography, ‘What Does This Button Do?’,  landed at No. 10 on the New York Times “Hardcover Nonfiction” best sellers list.
• Brantley Gilbert – is a dad.  His wife Amber gave birth to Barrett Hardy-Clay Gilbert on Saturday.  Quote: “Honestly, I’m just speechless. Watching the delivery, I don’t even know what to say.  Amber and I are just so thankful and blessed to have this beautiful little boy.”
• Keith Urban – has confirmed that his new single ‘Female’ features backing vocals from a very special guest: his wife Nicole Kidman.
• Zac Brown – ‘Sir Rosevelt’, his “southern pop” group, which also features songwriter Niko Moon and producer Ben Simonetti, is set to release their self-titled debut album on Dec. 15.  The album announcement comes with a brand new single, ‘Something ‘Bout You’.
• Garth Brooks – both Blake Shelton and Randy Travis have tweeted out their support for his decision to lip-sync his performance on the 2017 CMA Awards.

A poll of Americans has found that fully 69% of those who buy gifts would gladly skip the whole present-exchange thing if they could get the rest of their family to agree to it.  Bold move, yes, but when you think of all the money and time you put into shopping, wrapping and sometimes returning gifts, you can see that for many, it would be a big relief to not have to go through that every year.  Among respondents, 60% said that they would spend that extra time with family and friends.  43% say that they feel pressured to spend more at Christmas than they can actually afford.  Which isn’t to say that people just want to spend less.  The survey found 25 percent said they would use the money saved by not purchasing gifts to enjoy activities with friends and family.  Conversely, 37 percent said they would pay down debt and 47 percent would choose to save that money or invest it.
(I’m pretty sure they didn’t include ask any kids about this!)
(You know the problem, right?  Someone would say, “Well, we have to get ONE gift for the kids.”  And then they pick up “a little something” for their best friend, then they remember Mom.  And Mom is naturally going to pick up something for the grandkids.  And you can’t forget Dad…..and before you know it, we’re right back where we started….broke!)
(It wouldn’t be too great for the economy, though!  Now we’ll pause for these commercials about Christmas, probably…)

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is currently in talks with the league for his next contract.  Apparently the $30 million that he pulling down now won’t cut it in the future.   According to an ESPN report, Goodell is asking for a $50 million annual salary PLUS a private jet FOR LIFE in contract negotiations with league owners.  While that might seem like a perfectly reasonable salary to you and I, as one team owner has pointed out, there are several owners in the league who don’t even make $40 million a year.
(And they probably don’t have a private jet, either.  Oh, wait.  They probably do.)
(Does anyone really know what this guy does?)
(That explains the 12 dollar beers!)

Darn!  It turns out that classic Corvette that I just put a downpayment on is NOT the key to my eternal happiness.  Professor and neuroscientist Moran Cerf of Northwestern University believes he has found the key to happiness for mankind. The good professor says that people need to find the right friends to ensure bliss in life.  He says that picking the right friends is critical because our brainwaves tend to resemble those of the people we spend the most time with. That means if your friends are miserable, their behavior can have a negative influence on your happiness. He recommends finding friends who share similar interests or who have desirable traits that you want to have. Want to be a better chef?  Surround yourself with friends who are great cooks.
(But what if my wife hates my friends? Then what?)
(And I thought all along that the key to happiness was lowering your standards…)
(So the key to happiness isn’t Disney World after all?)

☞ When at the table, don’t eat until everyone is served.
☞ Keep food related items off the table (includes glasses, hats, keys, and especially phones!)
☞ Don’t microwave smelly foods at work.
☞ Stay home from work when you’re sick.
☞ Always ask if now is a good time to chat.
☞ Tell people when they are on speakerphone.
☞ Don’t send an email that says just “Thanks”.  (Whoops!)
☞ Never show up to a dinner party empty-handed.  (I’m glad I never get invited anywhere!)
☞ Let people off the bloody elevator!
(Did you ever notice that if you actually are guilty of one of these, you immediately say “Oh, that one isn’t so bad…”?)


1929 [88] Ed Asner, movie actor, Kansas City KS (“Elf”, voice of ‘Carl Frederickson’ in Pixar’s “Up”, )/TV actor (‘Lou Grant’ on “Mary Tyler Moore” 1970-1977)

1970 [47] Jack Ingram, Houston TX, country singer (‘Barefoot & Crazy’, ‘Wherever You Are’)

1972 [45] Jonny Lee Miller, Kingston England, TV actor (“Elementary” since 2012)/movie actor (“Trainspotting”, “Hackers”)

1974 [43] Chad Kroeger, Hanna AB, much-vilified rock singer (Nickelback-‘Rockstar’, ‘How You Remind Me’)/ex-husband of singer Avril Lavigne

1977 [40] Sean Murray, Bethesda MD, TV actor (‘Special Agent Timothy McGee’ on “NCIS” since 2003)

1988 [29] BoB (Bobby Ray Simmons Jr), Winston-Salem NC, rapper-songwriter-producer (f/Hayley Williams-‘Airplanes’, f/Bruno Mars-‘Nothin’ on You’)

1991 [26] Shailene Woodley, San Bernardino CA, movie actress (“The Fault in Our Stars”, “The Divergent” series”)/TV actress (“The Secret Life Of the American Teenager” 2008-13)

• “Bundt Day”, celebrating the cake of that name that’s baked in a special mold. It was first popularized in the 1950s and ’60s. Time to get out that ‘Bundt pan’ you never use so you can justify stowing it for another year.

• “Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day”.  Just what is that lurking in the back? Don’t open it, the odor may kill you! Hold your breath, scrunch your nose, and get to the task. Who wins the prize for the worst refrigerator surprises? Most often, it’s workplace refrigerators.  (Is this still good?)

• “Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day”, when kids with a mother who’s gone back-to-school are encouraged to honor her efforts by making her lunch.  (Please don’t use any of that stuff that you just cleaned out of the fridge!)

• “Steve Irwin Day”, honoring the life and legacy of the one and only Crocodile Hunter.  From humble beginnings to worldwide fame, Steve Irwin inspired countless individuals and continues to today!

• “Philanthropy Day”, set aside to recognize the great contributions people in the philanthropic community make to our lives, our communities, and our world. Arguably, Bill Gates is at the forefront these days.

• “George Spelvin Day” (female variation ‘Georgette’), commemorating the 1886 invention of the fictitious name used on Broadway for actors who have a 2nd role in a play. The name has appeared in over 10,000 Broadway programs. ‘Walter Plinge’ is similarly used in the UK.

[Thurs] National Fast Food Day
[Thurs] International Day for Tolerance
[Fri] Homemade Bread Day
[Fri] World Peace Day

2002 [15] “Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets” opens in movie theaters ($879 million in worldwide box office)

2006 [11] ‘Al Jazeera English’ news service launches worldwide

2004 [13] Shania Twain’s album ‘Come On Over’ is certified double diamond by the RIAA, with over 20 million copies sold in the US. It’s just the seventh album to do so, and the only one by a female artist.

2007 [10] Kenneth Donnell of Glasgow, Scotland pays $122,000 for 2 tickets to Led Zeppelin’s one-off reunion at London’s O2 Arena (the charity-auction purchase includes admission to the legendary band’s rehearsal)

2005 [12] 1st person to undergo a ‘Partial Face Transplant’, in Amiens, France (Isabelle Dinoire had been attacked by a dog earlier in the year)

2007 [10] Guinness World Record set for ‘Longest Piano Recital’ as Pat Jones of Jacksonville FL tickles the ivories for 65 consecutive hours


✓ The words ‘moron’, ‘imbecile’ and ‘idiot’ all technically refer to a person whose I.Q. is below 70.
✓ A study found that people who enjoy doing laundry are less likely to experience sock loss.
✓ The rules of golf once said that if your ball hit your opponent, he would lose the hole.
✓ There are 3,000 English words or phrases which mean ‘drunk’.
✓ The British Standards Institution has a 5,000 word report on the correct way to make a cup of tea.
✓ Wasp used to be “waps,” bird used to be “brid” and horse used to be “hros.” Pronunciation errors made the English language what it is today.

• Opening your trunk requires finding a screwdriver.
• People behind you change lanes to keep your oil off their windshield.
• You never get lost because of the Hansel and Gretel-like trail of loose parts that it leaves behind.
• You offer your friend a ride and he says, “No thanks.  I’ll walk”.  It is raining.
• The motor is so loud you can’t hear a dump truck crash through a nitroglycerin factory.
• You have to leave it running for fear it might not start back up.
• You’ve been chased down by a fire truck.
• You park on the side of the road and someone stops and asks you if you are injured.

☎ What product that used to be very popular would you like them to bring back?

A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who doesn’t have enough money to form a corporation.

Question: 40% of cats have THIS trait.  What is it?
Answer: They are left-handed (or left-pawed).

Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.

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