Tuesday, November 16, 2010        Edition: #4387
Bovine Defecation That’s State-of-the-Art!

Today president Barack Obama releases the children’s picture book, “Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters”, which pays tribute to 13 influential Americans (written before he took office in January 2009) . . . Meantime, former president Bill Clinton has filmed a cameo for the upcoming comedy sequel “The Hangover 2” (film reject Mel Gibson must be really ticked now) . . . Former adult actress Jenna Jameson tells the new issue of “W” magazine that she gave up the biz to raise her twin boys and be the best mother she can be (“Mommy can we watch some of those old home movies again?”) . . . In what is most certainly a total coincidence, famous person Jessica Simpson has announced her engagement (to former NFL player Eric Johnson) just days after ex-hubby Nick Lachey announced his (to former “MTV Total Request Live” host Vanessa Minnillo) . . . In totally unsurprising news, 2 of Jon & Kate Gosselin’s kids (“Jon & Kate Plus 8”) have been expelled from a private school in Pennsylvania for bullying (6-year-old Collin & Alexis are now being home-schooled) . . . Reps for 18-year-old rehabbing Disney star Demi Lovato continue to deny that alcohol, drugs, or pregnancy are any part of the issues she’s battling (an honest, concise, factual statement would put an end to all the wild speculation) . . . Actress Angelina Jolie tells “Entertainment Weekly” that she & Johnny Depp, her co-star in “The Tourist” (in theaters December 10th), are ‘both hermits’ (but they’re not being hermit-y together) . . . And Jay Leno has someone on staff who’s a helluva hacker – if you search ‘watch Conan’ in Google, the first result is “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” (it always came up first in a ‘Tonight Show’ search as well – even when Conan was hosting the show).

• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – John Legend (“Wake Up!).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – Annie Lennox (“A Christmas Cornucopia”) performs; Enrique Iglesias (“Euphoria”) performs; another celebrity is eliminated.
• “Glee” (FOX/Global) – The much-talked-about Gwyneth Paltrow episode airs, in which she sings a cleaned-up version of Cee Lo Green’s “F— You”, a mash-up of Rihanna’s “Umbrella” with “Singin’ In the Rain”, and a couple of other tunes. Paltrow guest-stars as a substitute teacher who ‘Will Schuester’ falls for.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Trey Songz (“Passion, Pain & Pleasure”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Japandroids (“Post-Nothing”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Bruce Springsteen (“The Promise: The Darkness On the Edge of Town Story”, out today, a massive box set with over 6 hours of video & 2 hours of audio on 3 DVDs/3 CDs, packaged in an 80-page notebook).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Jay-Z (his book, “Decoded”, published today, described as part-memoir, part-analysis of his lyrics was actually completed a few years ago but never released); Rihanna (“Loud”, released today, includes collaborations with Drake, Nicki Minaj, and a sequel to the hit “Love the Way You Lie” featuring Eminem).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – “American Idol” Lee DeWyze (“Live It Up”).
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – An hour of Barbra Streisand (“Love Is the Answer”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Rascal Flatts (“Nothing Like This”, released today).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Nelly (“5.0”, out today, the follow-up to 2008’s “Brass Knuckles”; he’s recently spent time as a fill-in air personality at Hot 104 [WHHL] St Louis MO).

• Bruno Mars – Tonight he kicks off his “Doo-Wops & Hooligans Tour” in San Francisco CA.
• Dashboard Confessional – Today there’s a limited-edition vinyl reissue of “The Swiss Army Romance”, celebrating the 10th anniversary of Chris Carabba’s first album under the Dashboard name. Carabba embarks on a solo tour November 27th in Fort Lauderdale FL.
• Halestorm – Today “Live in Philly 2010” is out, a live CD/DVD recorded April 30th in the rock band’s hometown. Last night they began their “Taste of Chaos” tour in Helsinki, Finland.
• Jimi Handrix – The new, 4-disc box set “West Coast Seattle Boy: The Jimi Hendrix Anthology” is in stores today, which includes unreleased tracks, live recordings, and a new DVD documentary called “Jimi Hendrix Voodoo Child”.
• Keith Urban – Today he releases his 6th studio album, “Get Closer”.
• Kid Rock – His new album, “Born Free”, drops today.
• Nelly Furtado – Today she releases a new best-of set, simply titled “The Best Of Nelly Furtado”, which comes in single & double-disc editions.
• P!nk – Today her best-of album, entitled “Greatest Hits …So Far!!!”, is released. The collection includes her latest single “Raise Your Glass”.
• Sheryl Crow – Tonight she plays a free show at the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood CA, in part to make up for what she felt was a sub-par performance at the Greek Theatre in September (due to strep throat) and also to raise awareness for breast cancer, of which she is a survivor.
• Velvet Revolver – The disbanded supergroup’s first live DVD, “Live In Houston”, is out today. It was filmed in 2005 while they toured in support of their debut album, “Contraband”.
• The Who – Today they release “Live At Leeds: 40th Anniversary Super-Deluxe Collectors’ Edition”, a revamped version of their 1970 live album. The 2-CD set also includes a vinyl reproduction of the original album, a 7-inch single, and a hardcover book.

• “Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore” ( PG Animated Comedy ): In this sequel to the 2001 film, the ongoing war between the canine and feline species is put on hold when they join forces to thwart a rogue cat spy with a sinister plan for world conquest. Voice cast includes Bette Midler, Christina Applegate, Neil Patrick Harris, Nick Nolte, Roger Moore, Sean Hayes.
• “A Christmas Carol” ( PG Animated Fantasy ): An animated retelling of Charles Dickens’ story about  Victorian-era miser ‘Ebenezer Scrooge’ (Jim Carrey), who experiences several mysterious Christmas apparitions. Cast includes Gary Oldman (‘Bob Cratchit’/’Marley’/’Tiny Tim’), Colin Firth (‘Fred’), Robin Wright Penn (‘Belle’).
• “The Kids Are All Right” ( R-Rated Comedy): Mia Wasikowska (“Avatar”) & Josh Hutcherson (“Journey To the Center Of the Earth”) play a pair of teenage siblings who get the notion to seek out their biological father and introduce him into the family life that their 2 mothers (Annette Bening, Julianne Moore) have built for them. Co-stars Mark Ruffalo.
• “The Last Airbender” ( PG Fantasy Adventure ): Director M Night Shyamalan’s live action adaptation of the first season of the 2005-08 TV series. Noah Ringer stars as a young successor to a long line of ‘Avatars’. Co-stars Jackson Rathbone (“Twilight Saga”), Dev Patel (“Slum Dog Millionaire”).
• Also released today: “Avatar: Extended Collection’s Edition”; “Back From Hell: A Tribute to Sam Kinison” (Comedy Doc); “Bee Gees: In Our Own Time” (Music Doc); “Dancing Dreams (Documentary); “Monk: Season 1, 2, 3” (TV); “Perry Mason: 5 Season Pack” (Vintage TV); “Sondheim! The Birthday Concert” (Music); and “Thomas & Friends: Adventure Pack 4-DVD Set” (Family).

Tired of bosses and/or co-workers ripping off your ideas? Experts weigh in on a few strategies to help prevent others from stealing your spotlight …
• Give Presentations When Possible: People remember who originally delivered the message.
• Send Frequent Status Reports: To increase your visibility, the name of the game is repetition.
• Get Testimonials: Nothing reminds people of how brilliant your last idea was than a third-party endorsement from a customer or colleague who brags on your behalf.
• Load Up on Projects at Review Time: Managers are so preoccupied with important things like getting their own raises they’re too busy to remember everything you’ve done previously.
• Stay Visibly Busy: Arrive early, leave late, cover your office with papers, and constantly remind people how overloaded you are. Looking busy is just as important as being busy.
– Condensed from AskMen.com

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 95% of women don’t like it when their partner leaves the cap off the toothpaste. (5% like it?)
• 73% of divorces are initiated by women. (Hell hath no fury …)
• 60% of us still have a cassette player/recorder but rarely, if ever, use it. (Great doorstop!)
• 36% of us think technology is causing us to have less free time. (We heard that on Twitter.)
• 25% of us will toast something before noon. (With a toaster, not a wineglass.)
• 20% of women have something from the ‘80s in their closet. (A husband maybe?)

Think sports drinks are healthier than soda pop? You’re not alone. A new study shows that sports drinks are commonly associated with healthy diet & lifestyle behaviors among teens, but that does not mean these beverages are healthy. As the research team points out, marketers may advertise sports drinks as part of a healthy lifestyle, but they’re sugar-sweetened just like other soft drinks and can just as easily contribute to the rising obesity epidemic in adolescents as soda pop. (They wouldn’t lie in ads … would they?)
– “FYI Living”

• Japan’s Mie University and NEC System Technologies have developed the ‘Electromechanical Sommelier’, a small robot capable of identifying wines, cheeses, meats, and hors d’oeuvres. However, when tasting the hands of human reporters at a press conference, it mistakenly identified one as ‘bacon’ and another as ‘prosciuto’. (Or maybe they were just fat?)
– “The Guardian”
• An android named ‘Geminoid F’ has made her stage debut in Tokyo. The brown-haired, brown-eyed, human-sized femme-bot remained seated throughout her role. Her eyes blinked and her chest rose & fell as if she was breathing even as she spoke, smiled, and looked surprised, though critics say her performance was a bit … mechanical. (Well duh!)
– Reuters.com
• A team at Georgia Tech University in Atlanta GA is looking to replace sponge-bath nurses with a robot named ‘Cody’. The bath bot uses cameras and lasers to evaluate the user’s body, identifying dirty spots, then gently wipes with its towel hands, making sure not to apply too much or too little pressure. (If it doesn’t work out in hospitals, it might be popular on the Vegas strip.)
– “Discover Magazine”

The second-best-selling game of all-time is Jenga. It’s a Swahili word, meaning ‘to build’.
– GreatFacts.com


1958 [52] Marg Helgenberger, Freemont NE, TV actress (‘Catherine Willows’ on “CSI” since 2000)

1964 [46] Diana Krall, Nanaimo BC, jazz singer/pianist (“Quiet Nights”, Grammy Awards-“Live In Paris”, “When I Look In Your Eyes”)/Mrs Elvis Costello since 2003/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2004)/Officer Of the Order of Canada (2005)

1966 [44] Dave Kushner, LA CA, rock guitarist (Velvet Revolver-“Slither”, “Fall to Pieces”)

1977 [33] Maggie Gyllenhaal, NYC, movie actress (“Crazy Heart”, “The Dark Knight”)/older sister of actor Jake Gyllenhaal

• “Eid al-Adha” (aka “Festival of Sacrifice” or “Greater Eid”) begins at sundown, an important 3-day religious holiday celebrated by Muslims worldwide.

• “Fast Food Day”, a day when we’re encouraged to celebrate by going out to our favorite fast food joint. (Like most of us need an excuse!)
NET: http://www.gone-ta-pott.com/national_fast_food_day.html

• “International Button Day”, for people who collect buttons with slogans on them. Some of the most sought-after are vintage political campaign buttons.

• “International Day for Tolerance”, established by the UN in 1996 to promote the need for worldwide tolerance and understanding. (Hmm, doesn’t seem to be working.)

1981 [29] ‘Most-Watched Daytime TV Drama’ episode as ‘Luke’ marries ‘Laura’ on “General Hospital”

2001 [09] “Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone” opens on an unprecedented 7,000-plus movie screens to a record $90 million in its first weekend (#8 movie of all-time with $975 million in worldwide box office)

1970 [40] Singer Anne Murray becomes the first-ever Canadian recording artist to receive an Recording Industry Association of America ‘Gold’ record, for “Snowbird”

1999 [11] Aging rocker Eddie Van Halen undergoes hip-replacement surgery

1915 [95] The contoured Coca-Cola bottle is patented (introduced in 1916, it is still the most-recognized container in the world)

[Wed] Homemade Bread Day
[Wed] Great American Smokeout
[Thurs] Beaujolais Nouveau Day
[Thurs] Guinness World Record Day
[Thurs] Married To a Scorpio Support Day
[Thurs] Use Less Stuff Day
[Fri] World Toilet Day
[Fri] “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows – Part 1”; “The Next Three Days” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week
This Month Is … Pet Cancer Awareness Month


• If someone famous dies, you check their age to get an idea how long you have left.
• You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
• There’s nothing left to learn ‘the hard way’.
• You can remember when cellphones were actually used to make phone calls.
• Your joints are more accurate than the weather forecast.
• You can go bowling without drinking.
• You’ve quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• That gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.

Should flaming your boss on Facebook be grounds for dismissal from your job? (A Connecticut woman was fired after she posted disparaging remarks about her boss, then traded Facebook messages about the negative comments with other employees. But she now has the Labor Relations Board on her side, which says her comments are protected speech under labor laws.)

• What are the ‘jeans’ we all wear today originally named after?
a. A person.
b. A company.
c. A city. [CORRECT. Genoa, Italy, where the heavy cloth was first made. The term ‘denim’ evolved from Nimes, France (‘de Nimes’), also an early center for making the material.]
– Halife.com

• According to a recent study of expectant moms, what is the food they crave most?
a. Nachos. [CORRECT]
b. Chocolate.
c. Pickles & ice cream.
– AP

I wanted to go to the Paranoids Anonymous meeting … but they wouldn’t tell me where it was.

Today’s Question: 3pm is said to be the best time of day for a woman to do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Win an argument, thanks to a peak in most women’s daily biorhythms. (“TIME”)

If you want to cheer up, cheer up someone.

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