Monday, November 17, 2014              Edition: #5340

Sheet Happens!

★ At least 2 of veteran comic Bill Cosby’s talk-show appearances have been canceled amid resurgent allegations he sexually assaulted multiple women over the years. An interview scheduled for this Wednesday’s “The Late Show With David Letterman” has been axed; and “The Queen Latifah Show” previously announced that Cosby’s camp had ‘postponed’ his visit. The uproar against Cosby has picked up steam after a clip of stand-up comedian Hannibal Burress calling him a rapist went viral, and then “Washington Post” published a column by one of his accusers. 77-year-old Cosby has never been charged for any of the alleged incidents, though he did settle a civil suit with one accuser in 2006.
★ Saturday numerous British recording stars including Bastille, Bono, Chris Martin, Ed Sheeran, Ellie Goulding, Emeli Sande, One Direction, Rita Ora, Sam Smith, and Seal gathered to record a new version of the Band Aid charity single “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” in the same London studio where the original recording was made back in 1984. Organizer Bob Geldof says Band Aid 30 will raise money for the fight against Ebola in West Africa. Sande said the participants ‘sounded like a really powerful choir’ when they sang the chorus together. The song’s first lines, recorded by One Direction, received their first play on ITV’s “The X Factor” results show last night.
– BBC Entertainment & Arts
★ And in case you missed it, 51-year-old actor Johnny Depp sounded a lot like his “Pirates Of the Caribbean” character ‘Captain Jack Sparrow’ at the “Hollywood Film Awards” on Friday night. He was barely able to stand up straight as he stammered through his speech to honor Hollywood film agent/producer Shep Gordon, the subject of Mike Myers’ new documentary, “Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon”. Backstage, Myers described Depp’s expletive-laden introduction “very rock n’ roll”. “It’s just one of those nights,” Depp managed to slur before CBS-TV appeared to cut him off. A lot of Twitter users, meanwhile, thought the actor was simply “wasted”.

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Real Estate (“Atlas”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Plugged/uplugged night; Christina Grimmie, Time for Three, and Noah Guthrie perform.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Nickelback (“No Fixed Address”, their 8th album, out today).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – King Tuff (“Black Moon Spell”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS/Omni 1) – Metallica plays a week-long residency (10th anniversary DVD of their documentary “Some Kind of Monster” is out November 24th).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Elle King (“The Elle King EP”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Damien Rice (“My Favourite Faded Fantasy”).
• “Today” (NBC) – One Direction promotes today’s release of “Four” with a live performance from Universal Orlando Resort in Florida. (See ‘BS Music Notes’ below.)
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – U2 begins a week-long residency, trying to win us back after spamming all our phones with “Songs of Innocence”?
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The top 12 artists perform for the judges.
• “WWE Monday Night RAW” (USA) – Special appearance by Grumpy Cat.

• Band of Merrymakers – This new holiday musical philanthropy group, which includes members of Better Than Ezra, Fitz & The Tantrums, Lady Antebellum, Neon Trees, 3OH!3 and others, releases the debut single “Must Be Christmas” today. Proceeds to MusiCares Foundation.
• Bruce Springsteen – A massive box set titled “Bruce Springsteen: The Album Collection Vol 1 1973-84” is released today. The remastered set collects his first 7 studio albums in a re-creation of the original packaging, combined with a 60-page book. It’s being released on CD and vinyl.
• Bryan Ferry – Today the former Roxy Music frontman releases the new album, “Avonmore”, with collaborations from Flea, Johnny Marr, Mark Knopfler, Nile Rodgers, and Ronnie Spector. The recording features 8 original songs, including the single “Loop De Li”.
• Cole Swindell – Last night he launched his “Down Home Tour” in St Petersburg FL. The 5-week run of shows is scheduled through December 20th in Fort Wayne IN. the opening act is newcomer Kelleigh Bannen (“You Are What You Love”).
• David Bowie – Today he releases the retrospective album “Nothing Has Changed”, which celebrates his 50 years in the music biz. The career-spanning box set also includes new and previously unreleased material. It comes as a 3-CD, 2-CD, or double vinyl set, in addition to a digital download.
• Depeche Mode – Their new live CD/DVD box set, entitled “Depeche Mode Live In Berlin”, is out today. The set was recorded in Berlin, Germany on November 25 and 27, 2013.
• Lorde – The soundtrack to “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1”, which she curated, is out today. Included are tracks by Charli XCX f/Simon Le Bon, Chemical Bros f/Miguel, Chvrches, Grace Jones, Haim, Major Lazer f/Ariana Grande, Q-Tip, Stromae f/Pusha T, Tove Lo, and, of course, Lorde herself. The movie hits screens this Friday.
• One Direction – Today is the global release of their 4th studio album, cleverly called “Four”. With a staggering 94 #1s and over 46 million records sold in just 4 short years, they’re also the 1st band in history to debut at the top of the ‘Billboard 200’ with their first 3 albums. Their previous effort, “Midnight Memories”, was the world’s best-selling album of 2013.
• Queen – The release of the track “There Must Be More to Life Than This” by Freddie Mercury and Michael Jackson was reportedly delayed more than 30 years because … Mercury objected to the presence of ‘Bubbles’ the chimp at the recording session.
• Trisha Yearwood – Today Mrs Garth Brooks releases her 12th studio album, “PrizeFighter: Hit After Hit”. As well as 10 previous hits, the disc features the first new songs from Yearwood in 7 years. The title track, “PrizeFighter”, features Kelly Clarkson.

Offering women the ability to test-drive breast implants first led plastic surgeon Norman Rowe to invent the ‘InstaBreast’, described as a “lunchtime lift offering instant breast enlargement that lasts 24 hours”. And now he’s hard at work on what he’s calling ‘Vacation Breasts’. The NYC doctor expects this new augmentation will last 2-to-3 weeks, which would work out for a vacation or a special occasion. Rowe isn’t revealing the chemical makeup that would be injected into patients, but he says it’s a saline solution with an additive that’s already used in medical circles for other reasons. Although Rowe is able to increase women’s breast sizes a whole cup to a cup-and-a-half using the ‘InstaBreast’ method, he’s touting his new procedure as prolonging the experience. He’s hoping to have it on market by 2016. (This is someday likely to end up as evidence in divorce court as ‘proof of false claim’.)
– ABC News

Google’s YouTube is starting a subscription service that allows users to stream ad-free music videos and to download them for offline use. The monthly fee for ‘Music Key’ also provides membership to ‘Google Play All Access’, its existing all-you-can-eat song-stream and download facility. The new service is meant to compete with Spotify, Rdio, Beats Music, and other audio-only unlimited music services. The launch had been delayed by a dispute with independent labels, however, Google says it has now signed deals with hundreds of indies worldwide. Android devices will be first to be able to save clips, followed by Apple phones and tablets, but the facility will not extend to PCs as yet. One reason to switch … the ability to move from audio to video and vice versa. (The battle is on for best streaming service. What would one need to offer to attract you?)
– BBC News

Hip-hop can help depressed people with their self esteem. “The Message” by Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five is said to be a particularly effective pick-me-up.
– “Daily Telegraph”


1942 [72] Martin Scorsese, Queens NY, movie director (“Shutter Island”, “GoodFellas”)/2007 Academy Award (“The Departed”)/TV producer (“Boardwalk Empire”)

1944 [70] Danny DeVito, Asbury Park NJ, 5′-1″ TV actor (‘Frank Reynolds’ on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” since 2006, “Taxi” 1978-83)/movie actor (“Get Shorty”, “Batman Returns”)/movie producer (“Erin Brockovich”, “Pulp Fiction”)

1944 [70] Lorne Michaels (Lipowitz), Toronto ON, TV producer (“Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” 2014, “Late Night with Seth Meyers” 2014, “Saturday Night Live” since 1975)/movie producer (“Baby Mama”, “Mean Girls”)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2003)

1966 [48] Richard Fortus, St Louis MO, rock guitarist (Guns N’ Roses-“Better”, “Chinese Democracy”)

1977 [37] Aaron Lines, Fort McMurray AB, country singer (“Cheaper to Keep Her”, “You Can’t Hide Beautiful”)

1978 [36] Rachel McAdams, London ON, movie actress (“Midnight in Paris”, “Sherlock Holmes” movies)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2014)

1988 [26] Reid Perry, Ridgeland MS, country bassist (The Band Perry-“Better Dig Two”, “If I Die Young”)

• “Baklava Day”, celebrating the Greek/Turkish dessert treat that’s made from phyllo pastry, honey, nuts, and other yummy ingredients. (Can we get this delivered? Now?)

• “Farm Joke Day”, a day to have a chuckle about the rural lifestyle. Have a cow here …

• “Homemade Bread Day”, when we’re all encouraged to bake a loaf from scratch. It’s a good day to get a bun in the oven! Mmm … can you smell that? Yummers!

• “Leonid Meteor Shower”, an annual sky show when you can see ‘shooting stars’. It peaks in the early hours this morning.

• “Take a Hike Day”. Instead of taking your walk today along city streets or in a mall or gym, find a park or place in the country where you can hike. Hiking is great exercise, and even more importantly … a great stress reliever.

• “Unfriend Day”, an idea instigated by late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel in 2010, because you really don’t need to still be friends with people you went to camp with in Middle School. Or your former co-worker’s boyfriend’s roommate. Kimmel explains his thinking here …
✗ The Photographer – Posts an entire photo album for every little thing.
✗ The Conspiracy Theorist – OK, they’re all out to get us. Let’s move on now.
✗ People Who Post Sideways Pictures – Then leaves them because they think it’s cool.
✗ People Who Post Pictures of Everything They Eat – At least 5,000 pics of plates. Yawn.
✗ The TMI Facebooker – We don’t need to know. Even more important, we don’t want to know.
✗ The Philosopher – Always trying to impress by posting inspirational quotes.
✗ The Angry Type – “I hate my life right now”; “I wish I was never born”, etc. Hey, we agree.
✗ The Religious Freak – Always openly praising their own religion, and often bashing others’.
✗ The Avid Gamer – Sorry, ‘friend’ … there’s no need for 40-odd game notifications per day.
✗ The Unintentional Snitch – If they’re not blabbing TV spoilers, they’re revealing personal or family secrets. Shhh!
– Adapted from List

2003 [11] Movie actor Arnold Schwarzenegger is sworn in as 38th governor of California

1984 [30] “Purple Rain” by Prince & The Revolution peaks at #2 on pop singles chart

2002 [12] Michael Jackson briefly dangles baby son Prince Michael II (aka ‘Blanket’) over a Berlin, Germany hotel balcony for fans waiting outside (the world quivers)

1989 [25] Disney princess movie “The Little Mermaid” opens in theaters

2003 [11] Two weeks before her 22nd birthday, Britney Spears becomes the youngest singer to ever get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

[Tues] Married To a Scorpio Support Day
[Tues] Mickey Mouse Day
[Wed] Have a Bad Day Day
[Wed] International Men’s Day
[Wed] Educational Support Professionals Day
[Wed] Women’s Entrepreneurship Day

Book Awards Week / Global Entrepreneurship Week / Hunger & Homeless Awareness Week / International Fraud Awareness Week


Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Spiders will always be able to run around the bathtub faster than you.
• Whenever you leave a bath to run by itself, the plug will jump out when you leave the bathroom and you will return to an empty bath … just as the hot water runs out.
• If you run a bath too hot, you will not realize this until you sit down and burn your hiney.
• It is physically impossible to turn a tap on or off with your foot.
• Whenever you lie back in the bath, your right foot will slip forward until it is positioned exactly beneath the dripping tap.
• The odd flannel you use to wash yourself will prove not to be flannel at all, but a sock which has fallen from above.
• The dirt you wash off yourself will gather on the surface of the water and then re-attach itself to you as you rise to leave.
• The lost bar of soap will ALWAYS become unreachable behind you.
• However briskly you dry yourself, you will still be wet when you put your clothes on.
– First published in “BS” 2010.

• ‘Time Tunnel’ – Give listeners a few events and a couple of tunes from a particular year, then have them guess which year from a choice of 3 or 4.
• ‘Title Bout’ – Have 2 phone contestants play off against each other to come up with the most titles in a category (chick flicks, mushy love songs, TV sitcoms, etc). Keep a running score.
• ‘Whose Lie Is it Anyway?’ – You and your co-host take turns making an outlandish statement. Your contestant must determine which of you is lying in order to win.
– First published in “BS” 2003 .

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the washroom? Because the ‘p’ is silent.

☎ If you could eat or drink at any fictional restaurant or bar, which one would it be?

Question: A recent study has found that ketchup bottles are the 2nd-‘germiest’ things we commonly encounter in restaurants; THESE are #1.
Answer: Menus.

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Rascal @ 106.3 The Groove [KTGV] Tucson AZ; Hanka Opanak @ Radio 105, Osijek, Croatia; James Lowe @ KJAG Online Radio, Hutchinson KS; Aleem Manji @ East FM Nairobi, Kenya; Ryan Flannery @ Pirate Radio 89.5 FM [WSOU] Seton Hall University, South Orange NJ; and Colin Parnell @ 2NM, Muswellbrook NSW, Australia.

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