November 18, 2010

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Thursday, November 18, 2010        Edition: #4389
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

“American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest recently declined to smooch his girlfriend, aspiring singer/actress Julianne Hough, when the ‘Kiss Cam’ put them on the scoreboard at an LA Lakers basketball game, but she’s finally acknowledged the relationship in “People”, saying she could not be happier (BS translation: The hoopla serves my purposes) . . . House-squatting couple Randy & Evi Quaid were a ‘no show’ at another court date in Santa Barbara CA this week and as a result have forfeited another $1 million in bail, lost their lawyer, and may face extradition (they’re apparently still holed up in Vancouver looking for refugee status) . . . Olympic swimming champ Michael Phelps is said to seeing reality star-turned-jewelry designer Brittny Gastineau (ex-“Gastineau Girls”), a friend confirming they’re in the ‘early stages’ of dating (BS translation: He hasn’t gone for the gold yet) . . . A rep for “Desperate Housewives” actress Eva Longoria & her NBA player-husband Tony Parker says a TMZ report suggesting they’re divorcing is not true, but there’s still lots of talk about trouble in paradise (has he been slam-dunking on the side?) . . . “Twilight Saga” actor Kellan Lutz has been spotted sneaking out of a $75-a-night budget motel in Studio City CA early in the morning, accompanied by ex-girlfriend, “90210” actress Annalynne McCord (they split weeks ago, so now they’re cheating on – themselves?) . . . A NYC judge has dismissed a lawsuit filed by actor Michael Douglas’ ex-wife Diandra Douglas, seeking half his earnings from “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps” (she contended she was entitled to half the take from the sequel since he made the first film while they were still married) . . . Teenage mom Bristol Palin (“Dancing With the Stars”) and Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino (“Jersey Shore”) have just shot an abstinence/safe sex PSA (this is like Ted Nugent doing an ad for gun control) . . . Rumors are flying that famous person Jessica Simpson spent 100-grand buying – her own engagement ring (pathetic!) . . . And “People” magazine has named its 2010 ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ – Vancouver-born “The Proposal” actor Ryan Reynolds (who’s wed to “GQ’s” ‘Babe Of the Year’, Scarlett Johansson – is this fair?)

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – The Decemberists (“The King Is Dead”, out January 18th).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – “American Idol” Lee DeWyze (“Live It Up”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – My Chemical Romance (“Danger Days: The True Lives Of the Fabulous Killjoys”, out November 22nd).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Menomena (“Mines”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Nicki Minaj (“Pink Friday”).
• “Today” (NBC) – OK Go debuts a new video they recently shot with the hosts of the show.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Jewel (“Sweet & Wild”).

• The Beatles – Apple is making a big deal about their entire catalogue finally being available on iTunes for the first time this week. (So now you can stop illegally downloading Fab Four tracks, okay?)
• Beyoncé – Word has it her parents have decided to forget the divorce and stay together. Tonight her concert film “I Am … World Tour” is screening in select movie theaters for one night only. It airs Thanksgiving Thursday on ABC, followed by a DVD release Friday, November 26th.
• Brooks & Dunn – This week the retired duo’s Kix Brooks is in Phoenix AZ to shoot a small role in a new movie called “Thrift Store Cowboy”. He’s playing one of the bad guys.
• Dolly Parton – This week the 64-year-old accepted the ‘Top Theme Park Award’ for ‘Dollywood’ at the amusement park industry’s annual international expo in Orlando FL.
• Keith Urban – Today he’s in Chicago IL to tape a performance on the “Oprah Winfrey Show” promoting his new album “Get Closer”. His appearance will air later this month.
• Neil Young – Fire investigators say last week’s million-dollar blaze that trashed his San Carlos CA warehouse started in the 1959 Lincoln Continental that he’d had converted into a biodiesel-powered hybrid. It was a project of his eco-company LincVolt.
• P!nk – She says she’s been keeping her pregnancy secret because she previously suffered a miscarriage and was nervous about going public with the news. For the record, her doc thinks it’s a girl.
• Taylor Swift – She’s “Allure” magazine’s cover girl for December. The makeup artist for the photoshoot used false eyelashes … on her bottom lashes. (Could this start a trend?)
• Zac Brown Band – Tonight they headline a free concert in Miami FL as part of ‘Ford Championship Weekend’ at Homestead-Miami Speedway. The “Ford 400”, the last race of the NASCAR season, runs there Sunday.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Brother Sam: The Short, Spectacular Life of Sam Kinison” – HBO Films has decided to give the bigscreen treatment to late comedian Sam Kinison. The company’s developing a biopic of the outrageous comic that will trace his rise as the son of a preacher to be one of the most cutting-edge and significant comedians of his era. He died in a traffic accident in 1992.
• “The Great Gatsby” – Filmmaker Baz Luhrmann has found his ‘Daisy Buchanan’, officially awarding the starring role to Carey Mulligan (“Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps”). She’ll play the manipulative heroine when production starts on the new adaptation of the F Scott Fitzgerald literary classic. Leonardo DiCaprio will play the titular role of ‘Jay Gatsby’.
• “Growing Defiant” – Dina Lohan’s production company is getting ready to shoot a movie about a group of drug-addicted kids, and the lead role will be played by – nope, not daughter Lindsay Lohan – her son Michael Lohan Jr. The film tells the (true?) story of 3 lifelong friends from Long Island who delve into the underworld of heroin. Production is scheduled to begin in early 2011.
• “The Muppets” – Zach Galifianakis, Jason Segel, and Amy Adams are aboard for Disney’s reboot of the ‘Muppets’ movie series. “Glee” star Jane Lynch denies media rumors that she’ll be appearing in it but says she would – if someone would ask her. Actor Jason Segel (“How I Met Your Mother”) is writing the screenplay. A release date of December 25, 2011 is targeted.

In 1939, Robert Irwin of Sacramento CA bought “Detective Comics #27”, the very first comic book in which ‘Batman’ appeared. It cost him 10 cents ($1.57 adjusted for inflation). Today Heritage Auctions puts it under the hammer at a sale in Dallas TX, where it’s expected to fetch over $400,000. It’s the only comic book Irwin kept from the hundreds he & his brother collected over the years. Why this one? Irwin says it’s just because he liked the cover.

Office Nomads is one of Seattle’s first ‘co-working’ businesses that rents office space to freelancers and telecommuters. There are at least 7 co-working spaces now operating in the metro Seattle WA area. These centers provide the staples: desks, chairs, printers, conference rooms, a kitchen, and Wi-Fi. There’s also often a shower, a lounging area with couches, TV and videogames. So why would someone choose to rent an office when they could work at home? One user says she feels isolated and stifled working alone. (Nice working in your PJs though!)
– “Seattle Times”

Now open on Pimlico Road in London, England’s upscale Belgravia neighborhood is Lily’s Kitchen, which serves a very specific clientele … dogs! Cats are welcome as well, but the restaurant doesn’t serve people. Four-legged friends get to sit at one of the diner’s 3 tables and fill up their bellies with organic food served by a waiter. And it’s free! How can that be? It’s a clever way a dog food company has found to promote its new line of organic foods. (Better hurry if you’re interested, ‘Buster’, because Lily’s Kitchen is only open for 6 weeks.)

New York University photography professor Wafaa Bilal is planning to have a camera surgically implanted … in the back of his head. The thumbnail-sized camera will be affixed through a piercing-like attachment. When the installation is complete, the camera will take still pictures at 1-minute intervals, then feed the photos to monitors at NYC’s new Mathaf: Arab Museum of Modern Art. The artwork, entitled “The 3rd I”, is intended as ‘a comment on the inaccessibility of time, and the inability to capture memory and experience’. The exhibit is scheduled to open next month. (“Is that a fly on your head … hold still, I’ll get it!”)
– “Wall Street Journal”

French designer Pierre Stephane Dumas has created a new kind of tent that he hopes will change the way people go camping. His transparent, inflatable bubble tent has been designed to give campers a panoramic view of the countryside. Launched this year, the plastic domes can now be rented at sites across France for a pricey $600 a night. But Dumas thinks they’re worth it because not many of us experience sunrise & sunset or sleeping under the stars anymore. In a normal tent or camper van, he contends, people miss out on these things. (What’s that old saying? People who live in inflatable plastic tents shouldn’t use candles?)

Vertically sliced tomatoes stay firmer and will be less watery.
– “Child Magazine”


1939 [71] Margaret (Peggy) Atwood, Ottawa ON, ‘dean of Canadian authors’ (Booker Prize- “The Blind Assassin”, Giller Prize-“Alias Grace”, Governor General’s Award-“The Handmaid’s Tale”)/Companion Of the Order of Canada (1981)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2001)

1958 [52] Oscar Nunez, Cuba, TV actor (‘Oscar Martinez’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1962 [48] Kirk Hammet, San Francisco CA, rock guitarist/singer (Metallica-“The Day That Never Comes”, “St Anger”)

1968 [42] Owen Wilson, Dallas TX, movie actor (“Marley & Me”, “Wedding Crashers”)/brother of actor Luke Wilson

1974 [36] Chloe Sevigny, Springfield MA, TV actress (‘Nicolette Grant’ on “Big Love” since 2006)/movie actress (“Boys Don’t Cry”)

1979 [31] Fabolous (John Jackson), Brooklyn NY, rapper (f/The-Dream-“Throw It in the Bag”, f/Ne-Yo-“Make Me Better”)

• “Beaujolais Nouveau Day”, the annual limited release of young Burgundy wines from France as a preview of the year’s grape crop. More than 20 million bottles were trucked to French airports on the weekend, destined for wine enthusiasts in the US, Canada, and Japan.

• “Great American Smokeout”, the 35th annual sponsored by the American Cancer Society on the 3rd Thursday of November to help smokers quit cigarettes for at least one day, in hopes they will quit forever.

• “Guinness World Record Day”, the annual day to celebrate record-setting and record-breaking around-the-globe.

• “Married To a Scorpio Support Day”, a day of remembrance to honor those who are married to Scorpios. Are they that bad? Any horror stories out there?

• “Mickey Mouse Day”, generally observed as his ‘birthday’ when he appeared in the cartoon short “Steamboat Willie” in 1928 (now making him a geezer mouse of 82!). It was the first cartoon with synchronized sound.

• “Use Less Stuff Day”, an annual reminder to ‘Reduce’, the first ‘R’ in the ‘waste hierarchy’; the 3Rs of environmentalism being ‘Reduce, Reuse, Recycle’.

2005 [05] “Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire” opens in movie theaters (grosses $896 million worldwide)

1987 [23] U2 opens for itself, pretending to be a country-rock group called The Dalton Brothers, during a concert in Los Angeles CA

1990 [20] Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger weds model Jerry Hall in Bali, Indonesia

2001 [09] Britney Spears’ first TV concert, “Britney Spears: Live From Las Vegas”, airs on ABC-TV

1883 [127] 1st ‘Standard Time Zones’, adopted by railroads in Canada & the USA

1913 [97] 1st (intentional) ‘Loop-de-Loop’ flown in an airplane (next day, the ‘Barf Bag’ is invented)

1936 [74] George McCullagh’s “Globe” newspaper purchases “The Mail & Empire” and amalgamates them to form the “Globe & Mail”

1991 [19] Suzanne Ferrer of Loire Valley, France becomes a great-grandmother at age 49 (had her first child at age 16, her daughter gave birth at 17, and her granddaughter at 15)

[Fri] Have a Bad Day Day
[Fri] World Toilet Day
[Sat] African Industrialization Day
[Sat] Name Your PC Day
[Sat] Transgender Day of Remembrance
[Sat] World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims
This Week Is … Culinary Week
This Month Is … Alzheimer’s Disease Month


• Whyzit people think those traffic-light pedestrian buttons work instantly and keep pushing them over and over?
• Whyzit the customer is always right … until you are the customer?
• Why do they call it ‘rush hour’ when nothing moves?
• Why is it you get to ‘put your 2 cents in’ but are only offered ‘a penny for your thoughts’? Who’s making the 100% profit?
• Whyzit schools use a 3-day suspension to punish kids for skipping 1 day?
• Whyzit when you finally get time for a midlife crisis you don’t have the energy for it?

What makes government so expensive is not the overhead … it’s the fatheads.

Now’s the time to start planning an event around the wedding of Britain’s Prince William & his new fiancée Kate Middleton. Though no date is announced, it’s expected to take place next Spring or Summer and the worldwide media coverage leading up to it is going to be massive. A million people are expected to gather outside the as-yet-unannounced London venue; a TV audience in the billions is expected. You might consider giving away invitations to a ‘wedding breakfast’ viewing party at a swanky local hotel, hopefully one with a British theme.

How young can you die of old age?

What is the #1 cause of kids missing school?
a. Faulty alarm clocks.
b. Asthma. [CORRECT. It’s the most common chronic disease in childhood.]
c. Common cold.
– “Pediatrics Journal”

Today’s Question: Researchers have discovered that girls may be born with THIS trait.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A fear of spiders.

Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the crap.

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