BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ 54-year-old music mogul Simon Cowell has hinted that he’s ready to wed pregnant girlfriend Lauren Silverman by suggesting he would want his music acts to perform at the event. They wouldn’t be short of stars to serenade them as Cher Lloyd, Leona Lewis, One Direction, and Susan Boyle are just a few of the names on his roster. The pair are tipped to tie the knot early next year after the birth of their baby boy, due February 28th. (Cowell being a devoted husband is about as likely as an “X Factor” contestant becoming a star.)
– “Daily Star”
★ 80-year-old Yoko Ono has placed the NYC condo she attempted to sell earlier this year back on the market with a reduced asking price. John Lennon’s widow had no luck selling the apartment she bought her son Sean 2 decades ago at the beginning of the year, perhaps due to the $9-million asking price. Ono claims it was because the building’s board attempted to block the sale. In any event, the place is now available for a song … just $6.5 million. (Ouch! That’s a no-no, Ono.)
– RealEstalker.com.
★ Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom are reportedly doing their best to save their marriage. According to a source, the couple are committed to continuing joint counseling in an effort to solve their problems. Word has it there are many things about Lamar that Khloe is just learning and its been very hurtful for her. If they have any chance of making their marriage work, there is apparently a lot they need to come to terms with. (Step 1: Turn off all the cameras.)
– E! News
★ And according to a Belgian website, 2 University of Leuven professors in the fields of bacteriology and toxicology have taken it upon themselves to run chemical tests on the 10 most-checked-out books at a local library. They’ve not only found traces of drugs like cocaine nestled deep within the pages of all the books they tested, but have also found their copy of “50 Shades of Grey” tested positively … for herpes. Fortunately, the trace isn’t substantial enough to be harmful. (This is shocking … “50 Shades of Grey” is one of the top 10?)
– QMI

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – Another elimination occurs after the 10th week of performances.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Fall Out Boy (“Save Rock N Roll”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Luscious Jackson (“Magic Hour”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The top 10 artists perform.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• ABBA – The 1970s-80s Swedish pop stars have confirmed plans to mark the 40th anniversary of the release of their hit single “Waterloo” next year. The group hopes to somehow celebrate the single that propelled them to success at the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest. Reunion time?
• Fleetwood Mac –  Stevie Nicks is set for a cameo on “American Horror Story: Coven” in the coming season. There is no word yet on what her role will be. The horror series changes its storyline, plot, and characters each season.
• Katy Perry – She’s signed as the new face of Covergirl and will appear in her first ad campaign for the cosmetics brand in the Spring. Quote: “In addition to music, I’ve always considered makeup to be a powerful creative avenue of self-expression.” (BS translation: Thanks for the moolah.)
• Michael Jackson – Tax authorities are going to court over the valuation of his estate. The IRS think it’s worth $434 million. MJ’s people reckon it’s closer to $2,105. (A slight disparity.)
• The Strokes – It looks like frontman Julian Casablancas has a new solo album on the way, thought to be titled “Voidz”. His last solo work, “Phrazes For the Young”, was released in 2009. He’s already confirmed for solo performances at Lollapalooza’s South American festivals.
• Tupac Shakur – The long-gestating Tupac biopic will finally begin filming in Spring 2014. Tupac’s mother, Afeni Shakur, will be an executive producer on the film, however there is still no word on who will portray the late rapper or who will direct the film.
• U2 – They’re expected to release their long-in-the-works new album in April. A splashy formal announcement of the follow-up to 2009’s “No Line On the Horizon” is being planned during the Super Bowl in February. Danger Mouse produced the majority of the album.

BUG BUFFET:
Memo to struggling restaurant owners: You might want to consider putting insects on the menu. Paris eatery Le Festin Nu has been forced to turn away customers since it began serving insect-based entrées. The eatery regularly imports grasshoppers, beetles, and water scorpions from Thailand for roughly €500 per kilo (about $720), which arrive in salted and sealed packages. The dead insects have become the core ingredient in dishes served at the restaurant, which has more than doubled its business in a month. The UN Food & Agriculture Organization encourages the practice, citing insects as a good source of protein, good fats, calcium, zinc, and iron. (Better check the mirror. There’s an antenna in your teeth.)
– “Business Insider”

OPEN WIDE:
It’s not the prospect of pain that makes people afraid of the dentist, it’s the sound of the drill. An experiment by the Society of Neuroscience tested how sounds affect certain parts of the brain, particularly those linked to stress. Participants filled out a questionnaire on their dental anxieties and their brains were then scanned as they listened to audio of drills and suction devices. The result: Those with the highest fear showed a major response to the sounds in an area of the brain called the left caudate nucleus. (Solution: Mallet to the head before each appointment.)
– “Daily Mail”

DONATIONS APPRECIATED:
Are organ donors more willing to donate when compensated? A new study from the University of Calgary suggests that paying living donors $10,000 per kidney could save money compared to the existing altruistic system. Researchers say that even if the incentive system only increased donation by a conservative 5%, it would save health-care systems money in the long haul. At the same time, some experts believe paying donors could have a negative impact. If medical facilities paid $10,000, some think that a lot of altruistic donors would perceive it as just a cash transaction and donations could go down. (We’re waiting for the BOGO sale.)
– NBC News

HOW TO MAKE MARKS WITH YOUR WOMAN:
• Tell her she’s beautiful; women never tire of hearing this.
• Write her a hand-written letter.
• Take her out for surprise lunch.
• Cook her favorite dish.
• Take her on an ‘official’ date.
• Buy her a token present for no reason.
• Dance with her.
• Give her a flower.
(Not so effective: Leave her the gift of beard trimmings in the sink.)
– AskMen.com

ULTIMATE PONG:
A Massachusetts company has created a hi-tech beer pong table for a Massachusetts Institute of Technology fraternity. Outsmarting Technologies, founded by an MIT mechanical engineer, created the $1,200 ‘Formidable Beer Pong Table’, which features 4 built-in washing mechanisms to sanitize ping pong balls and a gutter collection system to keep run-off from spilling on the floor. The table is waterproof and designed to handle the impact of a 215-lb person landing on it. (… in a drunken stupor.)
– News.Yahoo.com

GUNS, GUNS, GUNS:
It’s not your imagination, today’s Hollywood movies really are more violent. A new University of Pennsylvania study reveals gun-related violence in films has more than doubled since 1950. On average, gun violence appears in films more than twice an hour. Perhaps more alarmingly, the study shows that the incidence of gun-related violence in PG-13 movies now surpasses that depicted in R-rated movies. One of the study’s authors sums up the findings by saying: “Violence sells.” (And we wonder why there are mass shootings seemingly every week.)
– TIME.com

THE BOSS BITES HIS TOENAILS:
A researcher at the Westchester Center for Behaviour Therapy has determined that most of us have at least one nervous habit. Psychologist Robert Filewich says it might be as simple as the habit of finishing sentences with ‘you know’ – a way of relieving anxiety. (So what nervous habit have you encountered … that drives you frickin’ nuts?)
– “Psychology Today”

G’DAY, GAMERS:
In the not-too-distant future, Australia will be known as the land of kangaroos, koalas, and … videogamers. Videogames are a rapidly growing presence in Australian households. Recent research from consumer group Digital Report Australia concentrated on some 1,200 households comprising over 3,000 males & females of varying ages. The study reveals that 7-in-10 Australians regularly play console videogames, with the age of the average gamer being 32. The profile of the Aussie gamer is now nearly synonymous with the profile of the typical Australian. (Is it true “Temple Run” runs the opposite way around Down Under?)
– Gamespot.com

MOST POPULAR PICS:
If you’re looking to draw more attention to your photos on social networks you might want to consider a blue backdrop. A new study indicates Instagram photos that are blue in hue tend to generate 24% more ‘likes’ than regular pics. Analysis of more than 8 million photos also found that images with a high level of texture garner 79% more ‘likes’, and those with a large volume of background space earn 29% more. Most intriguingly, selfies of someone making a duck face generate a remarkable 1,112% more ‘likes’ than traditional selfies. (We’re a shallow lot.)
– “Social News Daily”

BS AMAZING FACT:
People shown silent videos of piano competitions can pick out the winners more often than those who are also played the music.
– BBC.co.uk

BS CHRONOMETER 11.18.13

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [74] Margaret Atwood, Ottawa ON, ‘dean of Canadian authors’ (Booker Prize- “The Blind Assassin”, Giller Prize-“Alias Grace”, Governor General’s Award-“The Handmaid’s Tale”)/Order of Canada (1981)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2001)

1962 [51] Kirk Hammet, San Francisco CA, rock guitarist-singer (Metallica-“The Day That Never Comes”, “St Anger”)

1968 [45] Owen Wilson, Dallas TX, movie actor (“Midnight in Paris”, “Wedding Crashers”)/brother of actor Luke Wilson

1974 [39] Chloe Sevigny, Springfield MA, movie actress (“Lovelace”, “Boys Don’t Cry”)/TV actress (“Big Love” 2006-11)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Married To a Scorpio Support Day”, a day of remembrance to honor those who are married to Scorpios. Are they that bad? Any horror stories out there?

• “Mickey Mouse Day”, generally observed as his ‘birthday’ when he appeared in the cartoon short “Steamboat Willie” in 1928 (now making him a geezer mouse of 85). It was the first cartoon with synchronized sound.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [07] Acting couple Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes (referred to as ‘TomKat’ by the media) are married in a Scientology ceremony at a 15th-century castle in Lake Bracciano, Italy

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2005 [08] The acclaimed Johnny Cash biopic “Walk The Line” opens in movie theaters (her performance as June Carter Cash wins Reese Witherspoon an Oscar)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1883 [130] 1st ‘Standard Time Zones’ adopted by railroads in Canada and USA

1913 [100] 1st ‘Loop-de-Loop’ flown in an airplane (next day, the ‘Barf Bag’ is invented)

1963 [50] Bell Telephone introduces the 1st ‘Push Button Phones’

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2003 [10] Barry Bonds is named National League’s ‘Most Valuable Player’ for a record 6th time

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Have a Bad Day Day
[Tues] International Men’s Day
[Tues] Rocky & Bullwinkle Day
[Tues] World Toilet Day
[Wed] Globally Organized Hug a Runner Day (GOHARD)
[Wed] Transgender Day of Remembrance

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Better Conversation Week / Book Awareness Week / Culinary Week / Family Week / Farm-City Week / Game & Puzzle Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS WAYS YOU CAN TELL MICKEY MOUSE IS 85:
• Wears a really gigantic Miracle Ear.
• Now gets into Disney movies for half-price.
• Due to dentures, only eats Cheese…..Whiz.
• Has signed an endorsement contract with Depends.
• From now on, only seen at the Florida park.
– First published in “BS” 1993.

BS SIGNS THE WORLD IS BECOMING OVERPOPULATED:
• China just made it illegal to move your arms away from your sides.
• Two Starbucks on every block.
• It’s impossible to sneeze without hitting a guy name ‘Joe’.
• Constant deafening whoosh of more than 7 billion people breathing.
• 26-digit phone numbers.
• In parts of Asia, not only car-pooling but pants-pooling.
– First published in “BS” 2011.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
She didn’t want to marry him for his money, but she didn’t know how else to get it.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the oddest-named pet or farm animal you’ve come across?

BS WEB GOODIE:
Social media explained with doughnuts …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/kqr5jn8

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Which city’s nickname is the shortest abbreviation?
a. NYC (New York City).
b. T-dot (Toronto).
c. LA (Los Angeles). [CORRECT. The 2-letter abbreviation stands for the city’s 55-letter official name: El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de Los Angeles de Porciuncula.]
d. Rio (Rio de Janeiro).

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Nobody wants to, but doing THIS for 30 minutes will burn an average of 133 calories.
Answer: Cleaning up after a party.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Only a mediocre person is always at his best.

BS FRESH MEAT:
Bob Kaine @ 94.7 WMAS Springfield MA; Buzz Collins @ Greatest Hits CKWS 104.3 Kingston ON; Corey Wickham @ Z92 [KZRX] Dickinson ND; Sherri Davis @ The Vault 100.7 [KKVT] Grand Junction CO; Gert Vermeulen @ Kosmos 94.1 Windhoek, Namibia; Mary Carmona @ Pacific 106, Glendale AZ; and Rory Petzer @ Algoa FM Port Elizabeth, South Africa. Welcome, all!