Monday, November 19, 2012        Edition: #4871

Sheet Happens!

• On-again, off-again couple Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez were spotted on a date Saturday night at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that lasted all of 10 minutes until Selena stormed off with Justin in hot pursuit. He was subsequently seen trying to gain access to her heavily guarded home, eventually being let in. Most telling of all, his white Ferrari remained parked outside the front gates … until he left Sunday morning. (Breakup sex?)
• It seems country superstar Taylor Swift & One Direction singer Harry Styles are back together, after briefly dating back in April. The were seen together backstage at Thursday’s US edition of “The X Factor” and reports have emerged he’s already met her mom. 18-year-old Styles is notorious for having an eye for the older ladies; his most famous conquest being “X Factor” UK host Caroline Flack, who is 33. At 22, Taylor still kind of fits the bill. (Not quite a cradle robber … bunk-bed robber?)
• Well here’s a surprise … seemingly always sulky 22-year-old “Twilight Saga” actress Kristen Stewart says she doesn’t ‘get off’ on being a celebrity. She says she’s learned not to let being ‘exceedingly famous’ upset her or restrict her behavior. The “Twilight Saga” finalé, “Breaking Dawn Part 2” had the 6th highest-grossing opening day of all-time on Friday, taking in $71.2 million. (Her 15 minutes are tick, tick, ticking away.)
• A purported ‘inside source’ says Justin Theroux is planning to buy actress-fiancée Jennifer Aniston a massive ruby to symbolize the ‘devotion, integrity, courage, and happiness he is offering her as her new husband’ (to be). Once he finds the right stone, it’s claimed, he’ll have it made into a necklace. (That is so gonna clash with the gaudy 8-carat diamond engagement ring he foisted on her!)
• Hollywood acting couple Emma Stone (24) & Andrew Garfield (29), who met on the set of “The Amazing Spider-Man”, have bought a new $2.5-million home in Beverly Hills CA. The sprawling bungalow in an exclusive gated community was once owned by late actor Dudley Moore. Despite signing off on their new property, friends of the couple say they are in no rush to wed as they’re both eager to focus on their careers. (Including working together on the “S-M” sequel.)
• And 33-year-old actress Katie Holmes is reportedly planning to adopt a little girl. The “Dead Accounts” Broadway star, who split from “Mission Impossible” actor Tom Cruise in June after 6 years of marriage, is hoping to find a new addition to her family within the next year. A source says Katie’s 6-year-old biological daughter Suri has been asking for a sister lately and has even been praying for one each night, which tugs at Katie’s heart. (What to get the little girl who has everything … another little girl!)

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Tennis (“Young & Old”). Rerun.
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Rascal Flatts (“Rascal Flatts: All Access & Uncovered”, out today on DVD).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Aimee Mann w/James Mercer (“Charmer”).
• “Katie” (syndicated) –  Tony Bennett (“Viva Duets”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) –  Tony Bennett again; Zac Brown Band (“Uncaged”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Who’s Pete Townshend (“Quadrophenia”); “American Idol” Philip Phillips (“The World From the Side Of the Moon”, out today).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Nelly Furtado (“The Spirit Indestructible”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Andy Grammer (“ Andy Grammer”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Phillip Phillips again.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – The top 10 artists perform for audience votes.

• Coldplay – The concert film “Coldplay Live 2012”, out today, documents the “Mylo Xyloto” world tour, which frontman Chris Martin says was the most fun they’ve ever had as a band. The film includes footage from Paris’s Stade de France, Montréal’s Bell Centre, and the UK’s “Glastonbury Festival”.
• Kelly Clarkson – Her best of compilation “Greatest Hits – Chapter 1” leads a list of new album releases today, a day early due to the upcoming Thanksgiving Day weekend in America. The album’s 18 tracks include duets with country stars Jason Aldean and Vince Gill.
• Kid Rock – Today he releases “Rebel Soul”, touted as ‘a return to form for the premier genre-hopping rock & roller of all time’. It’s the first time he’s selling his work via iTunes, something he’s resisted for years.
• Led Zeppelin – Their concert package “Celebration Day” is released today, available in several configurations of CDs, Blu-Rays, and DVDs. The movie captures Led Zep’s entire 2-hour performance on December 10, 2007 at London’s O2 Arena as part of a tribute concert to late Atlantic Records chief Ahmet Ertegun. It was their first full show since the death of drummer John Bonham in 1980.
• OAR – Their CD/DVD “Live on Red Rocks”, out today, documents their concert at Colorado’s Red Rocks Amphitheater this past July 15th. The DVD includes “Standing On a Burning Hot Sun”, a 40-minute documentary on the band’s 2012 “Summer Crush” tour.
• Pitbull – Today’s the release date for “Global Warming”, his follow-up album to “Planet Pit” which sold 1.4 million copies.
• “Rhythms Del Mundo: Africa” – The latest album from Artists Project Earth (APE) features high profile Western and African musicians collaborating on exclusive African mixes of contemporary hits. Among those participating: Beyoncé, Bruno Mars, Coldplay, Eminem, Fleet Foxes, Mumford & Sons, Red Hot Chili Peppers and more. The project helps raise money for APE’s climate change and disaster relief projects.
• Rihanna – Her 7th studio album “Unapologetic” is out worldwide today. This is the 4th November in-a-row that she’s released a new album. This latest effort features duets with Chris Brown and Eminem.
• 3 Doors Down – Today’s release, “The Greatest Hits”, features nine #1 hits that have been remixed and re-mastered alongside 3 new songs.

Much to the chagrin of experts – and significant others – more people are cozying up in bed with a laptop or smartphone, getting some work done before falling asleep. Businesses are even cashing in on the trend with comfy, ergonomically designed products for the pillow-based employee. A survey by Good Technology has found that half of adult office workers respond to work emails while in bed. Another survey, by Infosecurity Europe, has found that 70% of workers polled spend at least a half-hour daily working in bed. (Warning: If you don’t wanna big chiropractic bill, keep the office out of the sack.)

New research from the University of Canterbury in New Zealand attempts to determine which activities make us happiest and which make us unhappiest. The highlights …
• The #1 activity that makes most of us happy is – gird yourself – sex. This is closely followed by drinking alcohol, and volunteering.
• Other activities in the happy top 10 include listening to music, hobbies, and gaming.
• The #1 activity that makes most unhappy is recovering from sickness. Perhaps surprisingly, the 2nd-most misery-making activity is Facebook. Maybe we’ve finally recognized the essential vacuousness of the exercise?
• Other unhappiness triggers include housework, commuting, texting, and getting ourselves ready to face the world each day.
– “Daily Mail”

According to a new survey of over 700 flight attendants from 85 countries by Skyscanner …
• 25% say the most annoying passenger habit is snapping their fingers to get a flight attendant’s attention.
• 13% are annoyed by passengers who get out of their seats too early after takeoff or landing.
• 11% are ticked by passengers who attempt to stuff too many bags into overhead lockers.
• On the up side, the ‘ideal passenger’ is described by most as a male 30-something European, traveling alone for leisure in economy class.

San Francisco CA robotics company Momentum Machines is looking to develop a ‘smart restaurant’ chain, serving  gourmet-quality burgers made by … cooking robots. MM’s proposed eatery would be completely minimalist and capable of pushing out approximately 360 burgers an hour. The robotic machine takes up just 24 sq ft, allowing for more spacious seating areas and hopefully more time effort improving the overall dining experience. Plus the labor savings allow the restaurants to spend approximately twice as much on high-quality ingredients. (Best of all, robots don’t have to wear those silly hairnets and non-slip shoes.)

People are more likely to spend banknotes when they are grubby. (Dirty, sexy money.)
– “Daily Telegraph”


1942 [70] Calvin Klein, Bronx NY, fashion designer (Calvin Klein Jeans, CK One, CK Be)

1959 [53] Allison Janney, Dayton OH, 6-ft movie actress (“The Help”, “Juno”)/TV actress (“Mr Sunshine” 2011, “The West Wing” 1999-2006)

1960 [52] Matt Sorum, Mission Viejo CA, rock drummer (Velvet Revolver-“Fall to Pieces”, Guns N’ Roses 1990-97)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2012

1961 [51] Meg Ryan (Margaret Hyra), Fairfield CT, movie actress (“Sleepless in Seattle”, “When Harry Met Sally”)

1962 [50] Jodie (Alicia) Foster, LA CA, movie actress (2 Oscars-“The Accused”, “Silence Of the Lambs”)

1973 [39] Billy Currington, Savannah GA, country singer (“Let Me Down Easy”, “Pretty Good at Drinkin’ Beer”)

1976 [36] Jack Dorsey, St Louis MO, billionaire businessman/web developer (co-creator of Twitter)

1978 [34] Matt Dusk, Toronto ON, jazz musician-vocalist (“Back in Town”, “All About Me”)

• “Have a Bad Day Day”, for all the grouches who can’t stand being constantly told to ‘Have a good day’.

• “International Men’s Day”, now celebrated in over 60 countries (including Trinidad & Tobago where it began in 1999, as well as Australia, Canada, Ireland, South Africa, UK, and USA). It is an occasion to highlight discrimination against men & boys and to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular to community, family, marriage, and childcare.

• “World Toilet Day”, to encourage toilet hygiene. The Singapore-based World Toilet Organization promotes better design, ventilation, and sanitation for the device that is still a luxury in many parts of the developing world.

2010 [02] “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows: Part 1” opens in movie theaters

2002 [10] Michael Jackson briefly dangles baby son Prince Michael II (aka ‘Blanket’) over a Berlin, Germany hotel balcony for fans waiting outside (the world quivers)

2007 [05] Queen guitarist Brian May is named chancellor of Liverpool’s John Moores University

2007 [05] At Caroline Kennedy’s 50th birthday party, guest performer Neil Diamond reveals his 1970 hit “Sweet Caroline” was actually written about her

1995 [17] Baltimore Stallions (now Montréal Alouettes) become 1st and only US-based team to win a CFL championship, defeating Calgary Stampeders 37-20 in the 83rd Grey Cup

1997 [15] Iowa’s Bobbi McCaughey gives birth to the world’s only known set of living ‘septuplets’, 4 boys & 3 girls

[Tues] African Industrialization Day
[Tues] Sir Wilfred Laurier Day (Canada)
[Tues] Globally Organized Hug a Runner Day
[Tues] Name Your PC Day
[Tues] World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims
[Wed] World Hello Day

Better Conversation Week / Family Week / Farm-City Week / Game & Puzzle Week


A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• You brushed your teeth with Preparation H and your cordless shaver’s in the toaster.
• Your entire pre-noon vocabulary consists of ‘Uh?’ and ‘Uh-huh’.
• You go to bed in your work clothes so as not to waste valuable sleep-in time.
• You’ve hit your snooze button numerous times … with a hammer.
• Your typical breakfast: toothpaste with a side of water.
• You once yawned and sucked in a Buick.
• You think Jimmy Kimmel is the host of “Good Morning America”.
• Your will specifically states that you must be buried ‘any time after 1 pm’.
• When you sleep late, coffee prices plummet on major world commodity markets.
– First published in “BS” 2001.

☎ What’s your best tip for surviving big family get-togethers?

Eat the rich, the poor are tough and stringy.

According to scientific research, in what month is your hair most likely to fall out?
a. November [CORRECT. Apparently that’s not a new furry mat by your tub.]
b. January
c. July

DJ Skills and Krafty Kuts mix 50 years of ‘James Bond’ music …

Question: According to “Money” magazine, about a quarter of us who do THIS with our money will never see it again.
Answer: Lend it to family or friends.

The only place that success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Phill Hooper @ Classic Hits 92.5 Ashburton NZ; Staci Iverson @ Eagle 93 [KGCX] Sidney MT; Katharine Mars @ WAMB-FM Nashville TN; Tina Mockmore @ Glitterati Gossip, Rock Island IL; Tom Gibson @ Country 103.9 [CHOK] Sarnia ON; Laura Daniels @ The New 96.1 Joy FM [WJYE] Buffalo NY; Jack Womack @ 95.3 Max-FM [KERX] Fort Smith AR; and Pete Timmoney @ CFMH 107.3 University of New Brunswick, Saint John NB.

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