November 2, 2010

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Tuesday, November 2, 2010          Edition: #4377
Sheet for Brains!

Today “Jersey Shore” star Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino releases the new book, “Here’s the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore” (in the cover photo he’s flashing his abs – what a surprise!) . . . 24-year-old “Jersey Shore” cast member Angelina Pivarnick claims she took a ‘punch to the head’ while shopping at a Staten Island mall on the weekend but she and her friend, who was hit with a bottle, refused medical treatment and no charges were filed (it’s not know if an overly-tanned squat-statured woman seen scurrying away has anything to do with it) . . . Radar Online is reporting that actor Charlie Sheen has been out of control since returning to LA from his infamous recent hotel incident in NYC, partying with hookers while doing massive amounts of cocaine (one longtime friend worries: “Charlie Sheen is going to die this week”) . . . In a Québec TV interview, singer Celine Dion, who just gave birth to twins, reveals she was originally expecting triplets but one little heart ceased beating (awww) . . . The next “Mission Impossible” movie is going to be called “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” (sometimes the word ‘dud’ just comes shining through, no?) . . . 20-year-old actress Kristen Stewart says she’s a tad ‘annoyed’ she spent time learning how to strip like a professional for the soon-to-open movie “Welcome To The Rileys” and the scenes ended up being trimmed (mom must be proud) . . . And “Life & Style” magazine is reporting that 16-year-old Justin Bieber is secretly dating fellow teen sensation Demi Lovato (18) and she’s hasn’t been shy about talking about the relationship, bragging about what a good kisser he is (if true, her 15 minutes as a teen idol just expired).

• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Good Charlotte (“Cardiology”).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – Taylor Swift (“Speak Now”) and Rod Stewart (“Fly Me To the Moon: The Great American Songbook Volume V”) perform as part of the 200th episode celebration; then another celebrity is eliminated.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Mariah Carey (“Merry Christmas II You”, a new seasonal album out today); Willow Smith (“Whip My Hair”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Anberlin (“Cities”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Alberta Cross (“Broken Side of Time”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Bettye LaVette (“Interpretations: The British Rock Songbook”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Diddy (“Last Train to Paris”, coming December 14th).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Mariah Carey; Jon Lajoie (“I Kill People”).

• Brad Paisley – His new double album, “Hits Alive”, hits stores today. The first half features studio versions of his hits; the 2nd half offers live performances of them.
• Dave Matthews Band – Tonight they launch their North American Fall tour in Buffalo NY.
• Elvis Costello – Today his new album “National Ransom” is out, featuring collaboration with both of his backing bands, The Imposters and The Sugarcanes.
• Jason Aldean – His 15-song 4th album “My Kinda Party” is out today.
• Norah Jones – Her many duets, cameos, and side-projects have been compiled on the new album “… Featuring”, released today. Among the collaborations: Foo Fighters, Outkast, and the late Ray Charles.
• Paul McCartney – A remastered version of his 1973 “Band On the Run” album with Wings is being re-issued today. A 4-disc ‘Deluxe Edition’ features 3 CDs, a DVD, 9 bonus tracks, and a 120-page hardbound book.
• Ricky Martin – His memoir, simply titled “Me”, is in stores today. The book is also being published in Spanish, under the title “Yo”.
• Rolling Stones – Today Keith Richards releases a new compilation of solo recordings, “Vintage Vinos”, featuring remastered tracks from out of-print albums.

• “Toy Story 3” ( G-Rated Animated Adventure ): In this sequel to the sequel (1999), ‘Andy’s toys face new trials when they’re dumped off at a daycare center. Voice cast includes Tom Hanks (‘Woody’) and Tim Allen (‘Buzz’), with Michael Keaton & Emily Hahn as ‘Barbie & Ken’.
• “Winnebago Man” (Comedy Doc) – Jack Rebney became an Internet sensation after cursing his way through a Winnebago sales video. Filmmaker Ben Steinbauer journeys to the top of a mountain to find the recluse who unwittingly became known as the ‘Winnebago Man’.
• Also released today: “Beverly Hills 90210: Complete Series” (Vintage TV); “Cher: The Film Collection” (Compilation); “The Facts of Life: The Complete 5th Season” (Vintage TV); “Frank Sinatra: Concert Collection” (Music); “The Fugitive: The Final Season” (Vintage TV); “The Goonies – 25th Anniversary Collector’s Edition”; “Let’s Spend the Night Together (Music Doc); “Mad About You: The Complete 5th Season” (Vintage TV); “Nip/Tuck: The Complete Series” (TV); “V: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); and “White Christmas – Anniversary Edition”.

Stats show that nearly 30% of employees who called in sick last year weren’t really. A few of the most unusual excuses on a new list compiled from employers …
• “My foot is stuck in a garbage disposal.”
• “My finger is stuck in a bowling ball.”
• “I had a hair transplant go bad.”
• “A chicken attacked my mom.”
And the #1 reason? “Just don’t feel like going to work.”

A group of British scientists has devised a scale that measures the negative impact of drug abuse to users themselves and to wider society. The surprising result – alcohol ranks the most harmful overall, almost 3 times as harmful as cocaine or tobacco. Heroin and crack cocaine rank as the 2nd and 3rd most harmful drugs. Ecstasy ranks only 8th, according to the scientists’ analysis. Interestingly, alcohol and tobacco are legal for adults in most countries, while use of drugs such as cannabis and LSD often carry the threat of prison sentences.

• Look for a crowd. Locals know where to find the good stuff.
• High volume means that food is being prepared fresh, rather than sitting around attracting flies.
• If the cook also handles the money, he can be cross-contaminating food.
• Check that the food stand or cart appears clean and well-maintained.
• Look for cold food that’s kept cold and hot food that’s kept hot or cooked to order.
• Use your eyes and nose to decide if ingredients seem fresh.
• Use hand sanitizer before eating.

This week marks the 10th anniversary of continuous human habitation onboard the International Space Station. More than 200 orbiting explorers have visited the space complex; 15 nations have contributed to the missions, providing modules and hardware; and more than 600 experiments have been carried out onboard. From both a scientific and cultural standpoint, the Space Station has been an unparalleled global success. One official has referred to it as ‘the zero gravity United Nations’.

• Airlines are always looking at the bottom line. You burn fuel carrying fuel, so there’s often less fuel aboard than pilots are comfortable with.
• Passengers are only told what they need to know, so you’re not likely to hear really bad news over the PA.
• There’s such an emphasis on on-time performance that flights aren’t often delayed anymore, even if there are 20 people on a connecting flight that’s just a little late.
• Pilots are often exhausted. Regulations allow them to be on duty up to 16 hours without a break.
• When pilots tell flight attendants to sit, there’s some extremely serious turbulence ahead.
• At some airports with really short runways, you’re not going to have a smooth landing no matter how good the pilot is.
• Regional airlines aren’t held to the same safety standards as the majors.
• Airlines adjust flight arrival times so they can have a better record of on-time arrivals. So they might list a flight as taking 2 hours when it really only takes an hour-and-a-half.
– Condensed from

Flying Monkey, a bakery in Philadelphia PA, has created a cake dubbed the ‘pumpple’. It’s a pumpkin pie and apple pie baked between chocolate and vanilla cakes, then totally covered with buttercream icing. This oversize creation weighs in at a whopping 15 lbs and measures more than a foot-tall. And at 1,800 calories a slice, it’s not for the faint of heart. One slice of this hybrid is enough to feed 4 and sells for $8, but if you are planning a large gathering or feeling extra-hungry, a whole cake sells for $75. (Be sure to have a defibrilator handy.)

The USA no longer owns the world’s fastest super-computer. A new computer in China called ‘Tianhe-1A’ can run calculations faster than the previous speed leader, a computer called Cray XT5 Jaguar located at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee. The new performance record crunches 2.507 petaflops of data at once. Analysts say it underscores China’s place as the emerging global tech leader. A ‘flop count’ is a tally of the FLoating-point OPeration per Second. A ‘petaflop’ is that count multiplied by a factor of 10 to the 15th … in other words, a whole sheetload. (Whatever you do, don’t let your peta flop!)

More than 200 species of creatures live on the outside and inside of the human body. (Icky!)


1957 [53] Carter Beauford, Charlottesville VA, rock drummer (Dave Matthews Band-“American Baby”, “Where Are You Going”)

1961 [49] kd (Katherine Dawn) lang, Consort AB, pop singer (“Constant Craving”, “Crying”)

1966 [44] David Schwimmer, Astoria NY, movie actor (“Madagascar”)/ex-TV actor (“Friends” 1994-2004)

1969 [41] Reginald ‘Fieldy’ Arvizu, Bakersfield CA, rock bassist (Korn-“Hold On”, Did My Time”)

1969 [41] Cookie Monster, Sesame Street NY, cookie fanatic/fuzzy TV personality who styles his hair with a blue-rinse/movie actor (“The Muppets Take Manhattan”)

1974 [36] Nelly (Cornell Haynes Jr), Austin TX, rapper (“Grillz”, w/Janet Jackson-“Call On Me”)

1975 [35] Chris Walla, Bothell WA, rock guitarist (Death Cab For Cutie-“I Will Possess Your Heart”, “Soul Meets Body”)

• “All Souls’ Day”, the excuse for an annual tradition in Santiago, Guatemala – the “Kite Festival”, when natives send massive, extremely colorful kites up to the heavens in an effort to communicate with the dead. (Hello, anybody home?)

• “Deviled Egg Day”, saluting the dish that entails hard-boiled eggs cut in half and filled with the egg’s yolk mixed with mayonnaise & mustard. (Tomorrow is ‘Watch Dad Evacuate an Entire Transit Station in 10 Seconds Day’.)

• “Plan Your Epitaph Day”, dedicated to the proposition that a forgettable gravestone is a fate worse than death.
– “The best is yet to come.” … Singer/actor Frank Sinatra.
– “That’s all, folks!” … Mel Blanc (voice of cartoon character ‘Porky Pig’)
– “She did it the hard way.” … Movie actress Bette Davis.
– “Truth to your own spirit.” … Rock singer Jim Morrison (frontman for The Doors).
– “Curiosity did not kill this cat.” … Author/broadcaster Studs Terkel.
– “I told you so, you damned fools!” … Author HG Wells.

• “Traffic Directors Day”, honoring radio & TV traffic departments, the ‘artisans of the inventory’, who schedule programs and advertising. It’s a function increasingly being performed by software.

• “US Election Day”, the midterm elections when the House of Representatives and the Senate may experience some serious re-shaping.

1920 [90] KDKA Pittsburgh signs on as USA’s 1st ‘Commercial Radio Station’ (known as 8XK)

1936 [74] ‘Canadian Broadcasting Act’ creates the CBC (because then 2-year-old Don Cherry needed a place to spout off)

2004 [06] Shania Twain attends “Shania Twain Day” in Timmins ON as the ribbon is cut on the new ‘Shania Twain Centre’, a museum of her life & career

1993 [17] Innovative new product ‘The Sports Diaper’ goes on the market, designed for couch potatoes too involved in TV sports to leave

1999 [11] 1st sports league to create its own 24-hour TV network ( TV)

1878 [132] World record 55-foot-long giant squid is captured off Newfoundland (calamari for everyone on the bay, b’y!)

[Wed] Cliche Day
[Wed] Sandwich Day
[Thurs] Men Make Dinner Day
[Thurs] Use Your Common Sense Day
[Thurs] Pumpkin Chunkin Days
[Thurs] 2010 Billboard Touring Awards (NYC)
This Week Is … Animal Shelter Appreciation Week
This Month Is … Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month


• Still not determined if this year’s ‘lethal epidemic’ will come from birds, horses, swine, or rubber chickens.
• One fake cough and no one ever asks you to pass them anything again.
• “Jackass 3D” is actually entertaining when viewed with a high fever.
• Great excuse to stay home and get gooned on Nyquil.
• Sometimes it’s just nice to be ‘clammy’.
• Can use forehead to warm dinner rolls.
• If you ask politely, mailman will rub Vick’s VapoRub into your chest.
• You might actually be really ill when you call in sick this Winter.

I laugh in the face of danger … then I hide until it goes away.

If you could retire tomorrow what would you do?

Today’s Question: Italian men are tops in the world when it comes to THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Staying at home with their parents. 82% are still living at home at age 30.

If the facts don’t support the theory, ignore the facts.

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