Monday, November 22, 2010 Edition: #4391
Can You Believe This Sheet?
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Friday night the “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) studio was evacuated after staff stumbled upon ‘a strange white powder’ in some fan mail. Fire crews and FBI hazardous materials teams were called in to secure the area around the mysterious package and ensure the safety of personnel. The scary substance turned out to be … talcum powder, but an investigation has been launched anyway. (Could this have anything to do with that Wisconsin guy who got so angry that Bristol Palin waltzed into the final he blasted his TV with a shotgun?)
• Those recent tearful farewells from the “Harry Potter” cast are apparently a bit premature. The series’ sets have been rebuilt as the entire end sequence of the final ‘Potter’ installment, “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows – Part 2” (out next July), is being re-shot and may keep the cast and crew busy right up until Christmas. (Emma Watson needs to grow her hair back …quick!)
• US Army bomb disposal expert Jeffrey Sarver has been cleared to launch a lawsuit in California court over his allegations the Oscar-winning film “The Hurt Locker” is based on his experiences. Sarver claims the movie’s lead character, played by Jeremy Renner, is based on him, yet he was given no credit or compensation from producers. The screenwriter, Mark Boal, contends the film is a complete work of fiction … even though he did write a “Playboy” magazine article about Sarver in 2005. (Oops! Strike one!)
• 24-year-old “Twilight Saga” actor Bronson Pelletier is recovering from a broken nose after being attacked at the “Eternal Twilight” fan convention in Birmingham, England. The actor, who plays werewolf ‘Jared’, was reportedly hit over the skull, head-butted, and held in a headlock before freeing himself. Four men attending a wedding in the same hotel have been arrested on suspicion of assault. (We’re guessing the wedding was ‘open bar’?)
– “Daily Telegraph”
• Movie actor Wesley Snipes (“Blade”) has been ordered to surrender to federal authorities immediately and begin serving his 3-year sentence for tax evasion. A judge in Ocala, Florida court rejected his attorney’s request for a new trial on Friday by saying, ‘the time has come for the judgment to be enforced’. Snipes was found guilty of failing to file returns when he stood trial in 2008. He was not present at Friday’s hearing. (Because he was likely on a flight to Timbuktu.)
• And famous person Paris Hilton is now busy painting and cleaning the streets of Hollywood as part of her community service sentence. The socialite has been ordered to volunteer 200 hours of her time as part of a plea deal stemming from her Las Vegas drug arrest in August. On Friday she attracted a swarm of paparazzi as she joined the ‘Hollywood Beautification Team’ to paint over graffiti on downtown buildings. (She’s used to painting the town … just not this way.)
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Masters” (PBS) – The documentary “Lennon NYC” takes a look at the late John Lennon’s life with his family in New York.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Christina Aguilera (the movie “Burlesque”, opening Wednesday).
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Barack Obama (rerun).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – The remaining couples perform 2 dances each, including a previously performed dance.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Justin Timberlake (the movie “Yogi Bear”, out December 17th).
• “International Emmy Awards” (NYC) – Actor Jason Priestley hosts the 38th [non-US] Emmys, at which Simon Cowell receives the ‘International Emmy Founders Award’ for his work on various TV talent shows.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Train (“Save Me San Francisco”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Villagers (“Becoming a Jackal”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – The Very Best (“Warm Heart of Africa”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Jessica Simpson (“Happy Christmas”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Sarah McLachlan (“Laws of Illusion”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Ne-Yo (4th studio album, “Libra Scale”, out today).
• “Skating With the Stars” (ABC) – As “DWTS” winds down tomorrow, this on-ice sequel cranks up, featuring 6 ‘celebrities’ paired up with professional skaters. The celebs: “All My Children” soap actress Rebecca Budig; TV personality Bethenny Frankel (“Real Housewives of NYC”); Disney Channel’s Brandon Mychal Smith; ex-Olympic skier Jonny Moseley; 51-year-old movie actress Sean Young (“Dune”); and rocker Vince Neil (Motley Crue).
• “Today” (NBC) – Bruno Mars (“Doo-Wops & Hooligans”) performs on the outdoor plaza stage.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Taylor Swift (“Speak Now”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Beyoncé (“Beyoncé’s I Am … World Tour”, Thursday on ABC-TV).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
(Note that North American album releases have been pushed ahead a day due to US Thanksgiving this week.)
• Alan Jackson – Today he releases the brand new hits collection, “34 Number Ones”, a career-spanning 2-disc collection featuring his 34 chart-toppers.
• Jay-Z – Today “Jay-Z: The Hits Collection, Volume One” is out in a variety of formats: ‘Standard Edition’ single CD; 3-disc vinyl version; ‘Deluxe Edition’ package; and ‘Collector’s Edition’ box set, which includes a 100-page coffee table book.
• Kanye West – Today he finally releases his oft-delayed new album “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”, featuring production by Pete Rock, Q-Tip, and RZA.
• Ke$ha – Her debut album “Animal” is now available bundled together in a deluxe package with her just-released ‘companion EP’ called “Cannibal”. (The first course and the leftovers).
• My Chemical Romance – Tonight they perform a concert for MTV.com, promoting the release of their new album “Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys”.
• Nicki Minaj – Her just-released debut album, “Pink Friday”, features collaborations with Drake, Eminem, Kanye West, Natasha Bedingfield, Rihanna, and will I am of Black Eyed Peas.
• Nine Inch Nails – Today they release a remastered reissue of their classic 1989 debut album “Pretty Hate Machine”.
• Regina Spektor – Today her live CD/DVD “Live In London” hits stores, primarily recorded at London’s Hammersmith Apollo Theatre.
• Rolling Stones – Today 2 new limited-edition vinyl collections are out: “The Rolling Stones 1964-1969 Vinyl Box Set” (9 remastered studio albums plus extras) and “The Rolling Stones 1971-2005 Vinyl Box Set” (14 remastered studio albums plus bonus tracks).
BY THE DAWN’S EARLY STRESS:
A recent survey of some 1,000 adults finds that 1-in-5 people feels stressed even before having breakfast. The biggest stress factors cited are ‘money worries’, followed by ‘work pressures’ and ‘relationships’. The poll also suggests up to half the population struggles to sleep at night. (Best way not to be stressed first thing in the morning … sleep in!)
A new research paper by psychologist Joseph Ryan of the University of Central Missouri, published in the journal “Psychological Reports”, calculates mean year-round temperatures for various areas and compares them with the estimated IQ averages for the same areas. The bottom line: Places with cooler average temperatures tend to have populations with higher IQs. (Uh, how smart can you be if you choose to live where the wind is howling and it’s 10-below for 3 months at a time?)
AUTOMATIC WATER CAN:
The latest annual ranking of the ‘Innovations Of the Year’ is topped by the ‘Groasis Waterboxx’, a plant incubator that reduces the need for irrigation. Shaped more like a doughnut than a box, the gizmo helps tree saplings or plants survive long enough to make it through the top layer of dry soil. You simply place the tub around a freshly planted seedling, and fill the evaporation-proof basin – just once – with 4 gallons of water. Then you can forget about watering while the tub drips about 3 tablespoons of water a day into the soil. (A way of ensuring your suicidal houseplants live more than a day? No wonder it won!)
– “Popular Science”
A German scientist claims he’s come up with a solution for snoring – a computerized pillow that alters the head’s sleeping position until the noise stops. The pillow reduces or enlarges its air compartments to facilitate nasal airflow and thereby minimize snoring as the user shifts during sleep, according to its inventor Daryoush Bazargani. (Or if that doesn’t work, simply hold it over the snorer’s face and press firmly for about 3 minutes.)
FOR THE RECORD:
Harnessing the same technology that powers fighter planes off aircraft carriers, a new roller coaster in Abu Dhabi called ‘Formula Rossa’ travels 1.2 miles (2.07 km) in only a minute-and-a-half, reaching speeds up to 150 mph (240 km/hr). What’s now the ‘World’s Fastest Roller Coaster’ is located in a new theme park called ‘Ferrari World’, which opened this month above Abu Dhabi’s Formula 1 racetrack.
BS AMAZING FACTS:
• It can take 18 years for the foot’s bones, muscles, and ligaments to harden into adult form.
• It’s estimated that 1-in-3 people aged over 65 will die with dementia.
• The number of people raising funds for charity has doubled in the last 3 years.
– “Magazine Monitor”
BS CHRONOMETER 11.22.10
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940  Terry Gilliam, Minneapolis MN, movie director (“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”, “Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas”)/former TV animator (“Monty Python’s Flying Circus”)
1950  ‘Little Steven’ Van Zandt, Winthrop MA, rock guitarist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band)/TV actor (‘Silvio Dante’ on “The Sopranos” 1999-2007)
1958  Jamie Lee Curtis, LA CA, movie actress (“Freaky Friday”, “True Lies”)/daughter of actors Janet Leigh & Tony Curtis
1970  Chris Fryar, Birmingham AL, country music drummer (Zac Brown Band-w/Alan Jackson-“As She’s Walking Away”, “Chicken Fried”)
1978  Karen O (Orzolek), South Korea, indie rock singer (Yeah Yeah Yeahs-“Heads Will Roll”, “Zero”)
1984  Scarlett Johannson, NYC, movie star (“Iron Man 2”, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”)/”GQ” magazine’s ‘Babe Of the Year 2010’/wannabe singer (“Anywhere I Lay My Head”)/wed to actor Ryan Reynolds since 2008
1988  Jamie Campbell Bower, London UK, movie actor (‘Gellert Grindelwald’ in “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows”, ‘Caius’ in the “Twilight Saga” films)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “St Cecilia’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of music and musicians.
• “Start Your Own Country Day”, a good excuse to ask listeners what 3 things would be different if they ran their own nation. (How about no taxes, no taxes, and no taxes?)
• “Stop The Violence Day”, observed annually on the anniversary of the assassination of US President John F Kennedy (1963).
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1968  1st ‘interracial kiss’ in TV history is shown on “Star Trek” between ‘Capt Kirk’ and ‘Uhura’ in the episode “Plato’s Stepchildren”
1995  Disney’s “Toy Story”, the first computer-animated (CGA) motion picture, opens in theaters
1996  “Star Trek: First Contact”, reuniting the cast members of the TV series “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, opens in movie theaters
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1934  1st performance of the holiday classic “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (Eddie Cantor radio show)
1968  The Beatles release the landmark 29-track, double-album entitled “The Beatles”, which quickly becomes known as “The White Album”
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1917  ‘National Hockey League’ is organized by a Board of Governors meeting at Montréal’s Windsor Hotel (Montréal Canadiens, Montréal Wanderers, Toronto Arenas, and Ottawa Senators begin play December 19, 1917, then Wanderers drop out after Westmount Arena burns down)
1981  1st team to win 4 consecutive Grey Cups (Edmonton Eskimos, who go on to win a 5th in 1982)
2005  Angela Merkel becomes the 1st female Chancellor of Germany (remains one of the world’s most powerful women)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1950  Lowest-ever NBA score (Ft Wayne Pistons 19, Minneapolis Lakers 18)
1986  At age 20, Mike Tyson becomes ‘Youngest World Heavyweight Boxing Champion’ with a 2nd-round knockout of Trevor Berbick in Las Vegas
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Cashew Day
[Wed] Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
[Wed] “Burlesque”; “Faster”; “Love & Other Drugs”; “Tangled” open in movie theaters
[Thurs] Thanksgiving Day (USA)
[Thurs] “Taylor Swift – Speak Now” (NBC)
[Fri] Black Friday
[Sun] 2010 Grey Cup (Edmonton)
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Better Conversation Week / Family Week / Farm-City Week / Game & Puzzle Week
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
GAMES WE GET BETTER AT AS WE AGE:
• Sag, you’re it!
• Pin the toupée on the bald guy.
• 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
• Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says bend over.
• Simon says something incoherent.
• Hide and go pee.
• Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
• Musical recliners.
• Kick the bucket.
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
If you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, which should you do?
a. Turn on a bright light.
b. Use a ‘night light’ to navigate. [CORRECT. Bright light can mess up your biological clock and prevent you from going back to sleep. Total darkness can lead to severe bruising.]
c. Try to make it there & back in total darkness.
– “First For Women”
BS PHONE STARTER:
“Financial Times” notes that these days office workers conduct many of their most intimate morning rituals at work – turning up in sweat pants, taking a shower, brushing their teeth, and applying makeup. What’s the oddest non-work-related activity you’ve seen a co-worker involved in at the office?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
He has a great dog: half-Labrador Retriever, half-Pitbull. Sure, it might bite off your leg … but it’ll bring it back to you!
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Stats show we are most likely to do THIS around 3 pm on weekdays.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Use Facebook (according to Facebook’s own tracking).
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Poise is the act of raising an eyebrow instead of the roof.