November 22, 2011

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Tuesday, November 22, 2011                   Edition: #4635
Can You Believe This Sheet?

Actor George Clooney’s girlfriend Stacy Keibler has revealed on Twitter that he’s recovering after undergoing surgery on his elbow last week (Quote: “You know it’s love when your boyfriend has elbow surgery two days ago and takes you to a Ravens game … especially when he’s a Bengals fan”) . . . Whether or not she wins “Dancing With the Stars” tonight, 43-year-old Ricki Lake will be returning to daytime TV with a new talk show next year (her last effort ended in 2004 after 11 seasons) . . . 41-year-old newlywed actress Rachel Weisz has revealed in UK magazine “Stella” that she & her 43-year-old ‘James Bond’ actor-husband Daniel Craig, who seemingly wed suddenly in June, have actually known each other for years (they even performed onstage together while attending Cambridge University) . . . Derek Webb, a private detective who performed freelance surveillance work for the now-defunct “News Of the World”, claims he followed at least 150 celebs and politicians for the tabloid’s reporters and is now willing to testify as a witness for any victims who’ve decided to sue (this guy will clearly do anything for money) . . . Pumptop TV, which provides content to some 12,000 gas station screens, has announced it’s signed an agreement to carry game highlights from the NFL Network (will service stations soon have La-Z-Boys?) . . . Ashton Kutcher reportedly spent over $100,000 on a 2012 Lexus LS hybrid for Demi Moore’s birthday (November 9th), in an attempt to save their marriage a week before she announced they were splitting (it’s also said she’s instructed her lawyers to ‘punish’ him in the pending divorce) . . . And in her new memoir, “Then Again”,  65-year-old Diane Keaton has felt the need to tell us that she vomited so many times during her battle with bulimia as a young actress, that she had to have her teeth re-capped (well gee, thanks for sharing that … erp).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Cobra Starship f/Sabi (“Night Shades”). Rerun.
• “Dancing With the Stars (ABC/CTV) – Lady Antebellum (“Own the Night”) performs; the winner is chosen (JT Martinez, Ricki Lake, or Rob Kardashian).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Daughtry (“Break the Spell”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Nickelback (“Here & Now”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Portugal. The Man (“Waiter: You Vultures!”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – BoB (“Strange Clouds”, coming in 2012).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Oldies singer/songwriter Carole King (“The Essential Carole King”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Hot Chelle Rae (“Whatever”).

• Avril Lavigne – She’s signed with Epic Records, reuniting her with label chairman LA Reid, who originally signed her to Arista in 2000 when she was only 15. On her Facebook wall, Lavigne says the deal has her ‘re-inspired’.
• Bruce Springsteen – He’s set to release new material and hit the road with the E Street Band in 2012. The European dates will run from May until the end of July, and information on North American shows will be announced soon.
• Carrie Underwood – Her rep is denying all those online reports claiming that she’s pregnant. (It looks like the next person to be targeted by the baby bump watching fanatics is Katy Perry.)
• Chris Brown – He reportedly deleted his entire Twitter account after being asked about Rihanna. (Why didn’t someone think about asking him that sooner?)
• Death Cab For Cutie – Today they release their “Keys & Codes Remix” EP, featuring 7 newly mixed tracks from their latest album.
• The Eagles – They’re planning a 40th anniversary tour for the 2nd half of 2012. Guitarist Joe Walsh tells “Rolling Stone” he expects it will last 4 or 5 months. The shows will include concert footage, visuals, and interviews from the band’s early days.
• Elton John – He’s had a flower named after him, the Doritaenopsis Sir Elton John, at the 20th World Orchid Conference in Singapore. Elton showed up personally for a presentation of the hybrid, which has large white petals with a magenta pattern and golden lip.
• Lady Gaga – Her former choreographer/creative director, Laurieann Gibson tells “Hollywood Reporter” she ‘decided to step away’ when Gaga was ‘motivated to take the helm of the creative direction of her [own] career’. (BS translation: Cat fight!)
• Rick Ross – His new album, “God Forgives, I Don’t”, is being delayed until next year due to his recent health problems.
• Train – Frontman Pat Monahan tells “Rolling Stone” the band’s next album is almost finished and should be out in April 2012.


• “Conan the Barbarian” ( R-Rated Action ): Jason Momoa (“Stargate: Atlantis”) replaces Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Cimmerian warrior in this remake of the 1982 cult classic. In this version, the muscle-bound warrior seeks revenge for his father’s murder and the slaughter of his village. The beefcake barbarian dates back to a series of 1930s comic books
• “Spy Kids: All the Time In the World” ( PG Action-Comedy ): Jessica Alba stars as a retired spy who brings her step-kids along for the ride when she’s called back into action. Jeremy Piven (“Entourage”) also joins the series for this instalment, again directed by Robert Rodriguez. Shown in theaters in  ‘4-D’, which added the dimension of smell by using scratch-n-sniff cards.
• “Super 8” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): The latest from writer-director JJ Abrams (“Lost”) involves a small-town train derailment in the 1970s that unleashes mysterious cargo from ‘Area 51’. The title refers to the ‘Super 8’ camera that the kids in the story are using to shoot a homemade movie. Stars Joel Courtney, Kyle Chandler, and Elle Fanning (younger sister of Dakota).
• Also released today: “The Adventures of Tintin: Season 1” (Animation); “Doctor Who: The Complete 6th Series” (Brit TV); “The L Word: The Complete Series” (TV); “Law & Order UK: Season 2” (TV); “Le Cirque: A Table in Heaven” (Documentary); “Making the Boys” (Documentary); and “Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns: Season 3” (TV).

A self-confessed idler who believes that doing nothing is an art-form has won the most prestigious prize in science book publishing. Gavin Pretor-Pinney, who co-founded “The Idler” magazine and set up the ‘Cloud Appreciation Society’, has been awarded Britain’s $16,000 Royal Society Winton Prize for Science Books with his latest observations on laid-back living, “The Wavewatcher’s Companion”. (Almost as exciting as his previous book, “The Paintwatcher’s Companion”.)
– “The Independent”

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 75% of us install bathroom tissue on the holder with the flap in front.
• 74% of us salt our food every time we eat.
• 64% of us drink alcohol (36% prefer wine, 35% beer, 23% liquor).
• 63% of parents believe videogames have a ‘positive effect’ on their children’s lives.
• 45% of women do not approve of their partner friending their ex on Facebook.
• 30% of us have lied to get out of attending a wedding.

According to a new study by Internet security firm SplashData, many of us choose convenience over security when it comes to computer passwords, opting for something easy to remember rather than a code that’s tough to crack. Among the most-hacked passwords …
1. password
2. 123456
4. qwerty
5. abc123
6. monkey
7. 1234567
8. letmein
9. trustno1
10. dragon


A team of scientists from Caltech, the University of California Irvine, and HRL Labs believe they’ve developed what is the lightest material on Earth. The material is called ‘ultralight metallic microlattice’ and is said to be 100 times lighter than Styrofoam. So just how light is it? If you drop it from shoulder height, it takes more than 10 seconds to hit the ground. (Even more lightweight than Justin Bieber’s career.)
– “Los Angeles Times”


Experts debunk the following ‘facts’ commonly believed about critters …
• Mother Birds Abandon Their Chicks if You Touch Them – Truth is birds can’t really sense if humans touch their chicks when they aren’t looking … and don’t really care.
• Cut an Earthworm in Half, You Get Two Worms – The whole thing is a lie. Earthworms are as biologically complex as any insect and like any other critter you cut in half …. they die.
• Rabbits Eat Carrots – If you try to feed a rabbit nothing but carrots, it will die. Non-cartoon rabbits eat mostly hay and green leafy things. If you give them carrots … they’ll prefer the tops.
• Mice Love Cheese – They’re drawn to foods with relatively high sugar content, such as grains and fruit and are more apt to avoid something as strong-smelling and highly-flavored as cheese.
• Camels Store Water in Their Humps – In reality, they store fat. It works much better than water in the desert, because it provides camels with the energy they need to keep moving.
• Bulls Are Enraged by the Color Red – In reality, bulls are totally color blind. They get enraged in a bull ring by the flapping motion of the matador’s cloth … not to mention the abuse they take.


Peter Furia of Seedwell Digital Creative Studio in San Francisco, California  is producing a documentary-style web series, “American Hipster”, that will debut on YouTube next April. A few of Furia’s observations on hipsters …
• Hipster culture dominates fashion, music, and lifestyle, crossing borders of ethnicity, socio-economic status, and sexual preference … something we haven’t seen since the boom of hip-hop culture.
• People who aren’t hipsters generally express distaste for them and those who appear to be hipsters hate to be identified as such.
• Everybody hates hipsters …especially hipsters. And the ironic part is that hipsters’ opposition to pop culture has become pop culture.

According to a recent poll, only 1-in-10 married men gets to decide which side of the bed is theirs.
– PA News


1950 [61] ‘Little Steven’ Van Zandt, Winthrop MA, rock guitarist (Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band)/TV actor (“The Sopranos” 1999-2007)

1958 [53] Jamie Lee Curtis, LA CA, movie actress (“Freaky Friday”, “True Lies”)/daughter of actors Janet Leigh & Tony Curtis

1970 [41] Chris Fryar, Birmingham AL, country music drummer (Zac Brown Band-w/Alan Jackson-“As She’s Walking Away”, “Chicken Fried”)

1978 [33] Karen O (Orzolek), South Korea, indie rock singer (Yeah Yeah Yeahs-“Heads Will Roll”, “Zero”)

1984 [27] Scarlett Johannson, NYC, movie star (“Iron Man” films, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”)/formerly wed to actor Ryan Reynolds (2008-10)

1988 [23] Jamie Campbell Bower, London UK, movie actor (‘Gellert Grindelwald’ in “Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows”, ‘Caius’ in the “Twilight Saga” films)

• “St Cecilia’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of music and musicians.

• “Start Your Own Country Day”, a good excuse to ask listeners what 3 things would be different if they ran their own nation. (How about no taxes, no taxes, and no taxes?)

• “Stop The Violence Day”, observed annually on the anniversary of the assassination of US President John F Kennedy (1963).

1996 [15] “Star Trek: First Contact”, reuniting the cast members of the TV series “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, opens in movie theaters

1934 [77] 1st performance of the holiday classic “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (Eddie Cantor radio show)


2005 [06] Angela Merkel becomes the 1st female Chancellor of Germany (remains one of the world’s most powerful women)

1986 [25] At age 20, Mike Tyson becomes ‘Youngest World Heavyweight Boxing Champion’, after a 2nd-round  knockout of Trevor Berbick in Las Vegas

[Wed] Cashew Day
[Wed] “A Dangerous Method”; “Arthur Christmas”; “Hugo”; “The Muppets” open in movie theaters
[Thurs] Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
[Fri] International Day For the Elimination of Violence Against Women Day
[Fri] Shopping Reminder Day
This Week Is … Better Conversation Week
This Month … Pomegranate Month


• “What’s the best kind of stuffing to shoot from a cannon?”
• “How can I be sure it’s dead?”
• “Given the current market, am I better off renting a turkey?”
• “Can I buy an extended warranty for my turkey?”
• “I’ve never cooked a turkey before … is it like cooking a raccoon?”
• “If I put my smartphone in the turkey, can you tell me if it’s done?”


• Not enough peeps to create a crowd? Stack the room with hired ‘friends’. Platonic pals can be rented for just $10 per hour.
• Wanna rent a luxury car, yacht, mansion, private jet? These people will enable that as well as a meeting with your favorite celebrity.

For a makeshift heating pad, which should you microwave?
a. Banana
b. Cucumber
c. Potato [CORRECT. Microwaved on high 5-to-10 minutes, then wrapped in a towel or sock.]
– “Parents Magazine”


Who in your family has met someone famous?

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal … transcend dental medication.

Question: Perhaps surprisingly, men now out-number women when it comes to THIS.
Answer: Online shopping.

Don’t wear earmuffs in a bed of rattlesnakes.

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