Thursday, November 24, 2011                 Edition: #4637
Can You Believe This Sheet?

Vanessa Minnillo has announced on Twitter she’s now ‘Vanessa Lachey’ as she’s officially taken the surname of husband Nick (“The Sing-Off”) and says she ‘loves her new name’ (she’ll never have to answer “Is that with 2 Ns and 2 Ls?” again) . . .  47-year-old actress Courteney Cox tells “Hello” magazine she doesn’t consider herself a ‘cougar’, but she’s always been attracted to younger men and can’t rule out the possibility (it’d sound a lot more casual without the tone of desperation, hon’) . . . Online gossips have revealed that the new Fiat 500 TV ad that features Jennifer Lopez  reminiscing while driving through the gritty streets of her old neighborhood (“They may be just streets to you, but to me they’re a playground”) is not her at all, but a body-double hired to play her (even ‘Jenny From the Block’ isn’t so stupid as to joyride in the Bronx) . . . Brit actor Daniel Radcliffe has revealed his parents initially turned down his role as ‘Harry Potter’ because the original plan was to shoot all the films in Hollywood, but they eventually relented when it was decided filming would be confined to England (a parental boo-boo that could have cost him an estimated $45 million) . . . Movie star Gerard Butler says he’s ruled out relationships with cast-mates ever again, as it’s easy to develop an obsession on a film set that you think might be love – but it isn’t (think Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz, etc) . . . Actress Eva Longoria’s LA restaurant Beso is being sued for unspecified damages by a diner who allegedly sustained ‘major physical injuries’ when she slipped and fell on the floor while celebrating her birthday, due to ‘the floor being extremely slippery’ (likely from the 7th double martini she spilled on it) . . . “MailOnline” reports that “Twilight Saga” couple Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart are renting an apartment together in the Notting Hill area of London to use ‘as a base when they’re in Europe’ (this is the kind of language movie stars use when they get really rich) . . . And if you happen to be house-hunting, Oprah Winfrey has just put her $5.6-million, 4,600-sq ft Chicago, Illinois apartment up for rent, which includes a library, butler’s pantry, solarium, wine room, gourmet kitchen, 3 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms, and a 2-car garage for – yikes! – $15,000 a month (only $180,000 per year).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Bruno Mars (“Doo-Wops & Hooligans”). Rerun.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Nickelback (“Here & Now”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Feist (“Metals”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Foster the People (“Torches”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – St Vincent (“Actor”). Rerun.
• NFL Thanksgiving Day Football – The tradition now includes an annual triple-header …
1. Green Bay @ Detroit (FOX): Lauren Alaina (“Wildflower”) sings the anthem prior to kick-off . Nickleback (“Here & Now”) tries to win over the haters at half-time.
2. Miami @ Dallas (CBS): Big Time Rush sings the anthem; Enrique Iglesias is halftime performer.
3. San Francisco @ Baltimore (NFL Network): First time in NFL history that brothers oppose each other as head coaches (Jim & John Harbaugh).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Daughtry (“Break the Spell”). Rerun.
• “A Very Gaga Thanksgiving” (ABC) – ‘Mother Monster’ sits down with host Katie Couric for a 90-minute special to talk about the inspiration behind her songs and intimate details about her past. She also performs 8 songs in front of a small audience of family & friends.


• Brad Paisley – His autobiography “Diary Of a Player”, released earlier this month, has been on the “New York Times” best-seller list for 2 consecutive weeks. (And likely a 3rd this Sunday.)
• Chris Brown – The 22-year-old has forked out $1.5 million on a chic new 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom mansion in Hollywood. Listed at close to $3 million just 2 years ago, it includes an elevator, hi-tech touchscreen systems, and a huge swimming pool. (And it’s just 8 miles from Rihanna’s Beverly Crest mansion.)
• Depeche Mode – Two original members, Vince Clarke and Martin L Gore, have reunited for the first time since 1981. They plan to release a series of EPs and a new album under the name VCMG.
• James Blunt – Tonight the Brit singer/songwriter kicks off a North American tour in support of his latest album, “Some Kind Of Trouble”, in Sherbrooke, Québec.
• Muse – They’re in the studio working on their 6th album. Their manager tells they hope to record the entire project in London and release it by October 2012.
• Nickelback – Chad Kroeger tells MTV News ‘the vision’ behind new album “Here & Now” was to record 11 songs and try to make sure they don’t sound like one another. The title represents ‘a snapshot in time’ and was better than other names on the list … like “Wizard Beating”.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Fans can now download full live concerts. In fact, all concerts on their current “I’m With You” tour will be available within a few days after each gig ends.
• Sugarland – Along with producers, stage riggers and other associates, they’ve been named in a lawsuit filed by 44 survivors of August’s Indiana State Fair disaster in which 7 people died. They were set to perform when a severe storm brought the stage crashing down. (And this was their fault how?)

Psychologist Stanley Milgram popularized the idea that everyone on Earth is theoretically separated from one another (socially speaking) by no more than 6 connections way back in 1967. But it turns out that in this, as in everything else these days, Facebook has changed the game. New research conducted by Italy’s University of Milan shows that Facebook users are way more connected than your average, regular human of yesteryear. Instead of 6 degrees of separation, it’s now 4.74, meaning any 2 Facebook users are separated from one another by only that number of other Facebook users. (As in a friend of a friend of a friend …)

The new Swedish-made ‘Mandometer’ monitors the amount of food leaving a dinner plate. It works by using a scale that sits beneath the plate and a screen showing graphics of the food on the plate. The diner can see the food disappearing onscreen as he or she eats. If it’s consumed too rapidly, the plate instructs the diner, ‘Please eat more slowly’. Obesity experts believe teaching the chronically overweight to reduce the speed at which they eat helps them to better recognize feelings of fullness, leading to weight-loss. But even if you’re desperate to lose weight you might have second thoughts about this method … the plate monitor costs circa $2,400.
– “Times of London”

We think these bon mots are so cool we should still be using them …
• ‘Bibesy’ – A too earnest desire to drink. (“He was all bibesy when the Packers were down by 10 at halftime.”)
• ‘Brannigan’ – A drinking bout; a spree or binge. (The result of feeling bibesy.)
• ‘Hoddypeak’ – A fool, simpleton, noodle, blockhead. (A nifty insult to lay on someone without them even knowing.)
• ‘Perissology’ – Use of more words than are actually necessary; redundancy or superfluity. (As in this description.)
• ‘Quagswagging’ – The action of shaking to-and-fro. Can also be a verb … to quagswag. (“Hey, tell your stupid dog to quit quagswagging my favorite teddy bear!”)
• ‘Twitter-light’ – Nothing to do with social networking, this is the early 17th-century version of ‘twilight’. (Nothing to do with vampires.)
• ‘Widdendream’ – A state of mental disturbance or confusion. (“Ever since I met her I’ve had widdendreams.”)
– Inspired by

According to a new Travelodge study, men actually take more time getting ready to go out than women. A few highlights …
• Men spend an average of 81 minutes per day grooming, styling, and dressing; women need only 75.
• Men take longer in the shower, requiring 23 minutes compared to the female average of 22.
• Men take longer to shave (18 minutes) compared to women (14 minutes), which is somewhat surprising considering how much more ground women have to cover.
• Men also take longer with cleansing and moisturizing, needing 10 minutes on average, while women can rinse and apply in just 9 minutes.
• Men need an average of 13 minutes to decide on an outfit, while women only take 10 minutes.
(So how come it always seems men are doing more of the waiting right before date night?)


• The earliest clear signs of deception by children appear at about 6 months of age. ‘Fake crying’ and ‘pretend laughing’ are among the earliest.
• Thanks to climate change, some waterfowl are now delaying their annual migration by as much as a month compared with 30 years ago.


1968 [43] Scott Krinsky, Washington DC, TV actor (‘Jeff Barnes’ on “Chuck” since 2007, “The OC” 2003-07)

1970 [41] Chad Taylor, Baltimore MD, alt-rock guitarist (Live-“Heaven”, “Lightning Crashes”)

1977 [34] Colin Hanks, Sacramento CA, movie actor (“W”, “King Kong”)/TV actor (“Band of Brothers”)/son of actor Tom Hanks

1978 [33] Katherine Heigl, Washington DC, movie actress (“Knocked Up”, “27 Dresses”)/TV actress (“Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-10)

1990 [21] Sarah Hyland, NYC, TV actress (‘Haley Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

• “Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day”, saluting the individual abilities each of us has. Okay, so what is it that you can do that no one else can? Whistle through your nose? Play both armpits simultaneously? Recite the alphabet backwards? Talk out of both sides of your mouth at the same time?

• “Grey Cup Festival” gets underway tonight in Vancouver BC. Slated events include …
– Gibson’s Finest Player Awards (tonight)
– 47th Vanier Cup Championship (McMaster Marauders vs Laval Rouge et Or Friday night)
– Grey Cup Festival Beer Gardens (Friday-Sunday)
– BCLC Street Festival (Friday-Saturday)
– Scotiabank CFL Football Experience (Friday-Saturday)
– Team parties (Friday-Sunday)
– Scotiabank Gala Dinner (Saturday)
– Vancouver Sun Fan Fest (Saturday)
– Safeway Grey Cup Festival Parade (Saturday)
– Pregame Tailgate Party (Sunday)
– 99th Grey Cup Championship (Winnipeg Blue Bombers vs BC Lions Sunday)

• “Thanksgiving Day” in America, an annual tradition on the 4th Thursday of November since 1879. A few facts …
– Today’s 85th annual “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade” in NYC will feature a diverse lineup of performers including Avril Lavigne, Cee Lo Green, Cobra Starship, Mary J Blige, Neil Diamond, Rodney Atkins, Scotty McCreery, and the cast of Broadway’s “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark”.
– The original Thanksgiving festivities date back 2,000 years to Celtic priests, the Druids, who celebrated a harvest festival.
– “Thanksgiving” was declared a US national holiday in 1863, following an intense campaign by Sarah Josepha Hale, editor of a women’s magazine.
– The term ‘turkey’ was used by New England pilgrims to mean any sort of wild fowl. It could actually have been seagull. (Yum!)

1999 [12] “Toy Story 2” opens in movie theaters (5-day gross of over $80 million smashes Thanksgiving opening record)

1991 [20] The charismatic lead singer of the rock group Queen, Freddie Mercury, dies in his sleep at age 45, just one day after publicly announcing he was suffering from AIDS

1991 [20] Rock ‘n roll pioneer Little Richard, an ordained minister, officiates at the wedding of singer Cyndi Lauper & actor David Thornton in NYC, then sticks around to play at the reception

2001 [10] A team of scientists in Worcester, Massachusetts confirms the successful cloning of 24 cows

[Fri] International Day For the Elimination of Violence Against Women Day
[Fri] Shopping Reminder Day
[Fri] Black Friday
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Sat] Muharram (Muslim)
[Sun] “2011 Soul Train Awards” (BET)
This Week Is … Better Conversation Week
This Month Is … Home Care & Hospice Month


• “Apply in Person”: If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told the position has been filled.
• “No Phone Calls Please”: We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
• “Seeking Candidates With a Wide Variety of Experience”: You’ll need it to replace 3 people who just left.
• “Problem-Solving Skills a Must”: You’re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
• “Requires Team Leadership Skills”: You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
• “Good Communication Skills”: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
• “Competitive Salary”: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
• “Join Our Fast-Paced Company”: We have no time to train you.
• “Casual Work Atmosphere”: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up.
• “Must Be Deadline Oriented”: You’ll be 6 months behind schedule on your 1st day.
• “Some Overtime Required”: Some time each night and some time each weekend.
• “Duties Will Vary”: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
• “Must Have an Eye for Detail”: We have no quality control.
• “Career-Minded”: Female applicants must be childless … and remain that way.
– Thanks to Trevor Scott @ Top FM Darwin, Australia

I used to be indecisive … but now I’m not so sure.

• When Andrew-Jacques Garnerin became the first parachutist in 1797, what other first did he accomplish?
a. First to break a leg while parachuting.
b. First to land on his head while parachuting.
c. First to throw-up while parachuting. [CORRECT]

• How fast can a wild turkey fly?
a. 6 mph.
b. 18 mph. [CORRECT. As opposed to a farmed turkey which can only sit, eat, and defecate.]
c. 36 mph.
– “Mark Trail”


Would you rather live for a week in the past or a week in the future?


Question: The average woman keeps one of THESE for 32 minutes.
Answer: A secret.


Egotism is the glue with which you get stuck on yourself.

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