Friday, November 25, 2011         Edition: #4638
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

Newly-single “X Factor” judge Nicole Scherzinger received a proposal this week during a show taping as an audience member raced up to the judges’ desk and dropped to one knee – just before security steered him away and removed him from the CBS lot (wow, surprising it didn’t work, bud!) . . . Movie studio head Harvey Weinstein wants to turn the new film “My Week With Marilyn” into a Broadway show – with Katy Perry in the lead (the pill-popping finalé ought to be a real show-stopper!) . . . Late Apple co-founder Steve Jobs became the biggest shareholder in the Walt Disney Co after selling his Pixar animation studio to the ‘Mouse House’ in 2006, and a new filing shows his 7.7% cut is now worth – $4.6 billion (BS translation: His widow Laurene isn’t hurtin’) . . . 52-year-old actor Hugh Laurie says he’s ready to retire from TV once his show “House” wraps (reportedly after the current season) and will concentrate on writing and producing (that’s what $250,000-per-episode enables) . . . Missy Elliott has assured fans she is alive and well after false reports of her death began circulating on Twitter (well that’s one way to get people talking about you when you’ve left the public consciousness for years) . . . The new movie “The Muppets” is currently sitting at 97% on, making it the best-reviewed wide movie release of the year so far (froggy power!) . . . Courtney Love is looking for an assistant and is willing to pay $80-100k (sorry, even that’s not enough, freak) . . . Soap opera fans will be sad to hear a plan to continue the lapsed TV series “All My Children” and “One Life to Live” online has been canceled (on the upside – now you can get a life!) . . . And if you’ve got $15 million lying around, 56-year-old actor Bruce Willis is looking to unload his 20-acre Idaho property (6-bedroom, 8,400-sq-ft main house; detached guesthouse; gym; pool; several ponds & streams) because – he’s been ‘unable to spend much time in Idaho’ (BS translation: Plans to make “Die Hard 27” are off).

• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight Blitzen Trapper (“American Goldwing”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Chris Isaak (“Beyond the Sun”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Airborne Toxic Event (“All at Once”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Childish Gambino (“Camp”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Eli Young Band (“Life at Best”) perform “Crazy Girl”. Rerun.
• “The Rosie Show” (OWN) – Tonight Little Big Town (“The Reason Why”). Rerun.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Melissa McCarthy (“Mike & Molly”); musical guest Lady Antebellum (“Own the Night”). Rerun
• “Soul Train Awards” (BET/Centric) – Sunday Chris Brown leads nominations with 5, followed by Beyoncé and Kanye West with 4 apiece. Earth, Wind & Fire and Gladys Knight receive ‘Legend Awards’. The song “Far Away” by Marsha Ambrosius wins ‘Record Of the Year’. Performers include Cee Lo Green, Common, Freddie Jackson, Mary Mary, and Musiq Soulchild. Pre-taped at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta. Georgia.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Tonight Gym Class Heroes f/Estelle (“Papercut Chronicles II”). Rerun.

• Black Eyed Peas – They’ve reiterated in a round of interviews this week that they are not breaking up, they are simply taking some time off.
• Drake – The Toronto emcee has easily cruised to #1, with his new album “Take Care” going Gold in its first week according to Nielsen SoundScan.
• Keith Urban – He’s confirmed he’s going on complete ‘vocal lockdown’ until early next year due to upcoming surgery to have a polyp removed. Ironically, he’s just signed on to become one of the judges on the Australian version of TV talent show “The Voice”.
• Lady Gaga – She’s released a new EP, “A Very Gaga Holiday”, featuring live takes from her Thanksgiving TV special. It’s now available on iTunes, and is released elsewhere Saturday.
• Michael Jackson – Saturday at a Fame Bureau auction in London, his former chauffeur is selling off never-before-seen concert footage, recorded in Buenos Aires, Argentina in 1993 during the “Dangerous” tour. The 2-hour film has a reserve bid of $6.4 million.
• Nicki Minaj – She’s announced on Twitter that her new album will be out early in 2012. “Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded” will be released on Valentines Day.
• Prince – He’s following up his “Welcome 2 America” shows earlier this year with a Canadian tour. The 11-show trek, dubbed “Welcome 2 Canada”, kicks off in tonight Toronto.
• Queen – Born Farrokh Bulsara, late frontman Freddie Mercury’s middle name was ‘Pluto’.
• Sugarland – Sunday Kristian Bush returns to the club Eddie’s Attic in Decatur, Georgia for his annual Thanksgiving weekend solo show. The night features surprise special guests.
• Susan Boyle – A Brit gossip site claims the 1st class passengers on a recent flight from London to Australia were disturbed by her snoring … ‘like a tractor engine’.


4 easy steps to improving your quality of life …
• Do Good Deeds – Researchers at UC Riverside found that performing acts of kindness makes people happier. Unless, that is, the acts become repetitive tasks.
• Get Exercise – According to research at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, exercise has the same kind of physical effects on the brain as antidepressants.
• Get Hugged – Penn State researchers found that students who were hugged frequently were happier than students who weren’t. Try to avoid the fired assistant football coach, however.
• Get a Pet – Studies done at Miami University show that pets are as good at providing social support as other humans. However, humans don’t have a litter box you gotta scoop.


A new review of relevant studies has found that we sleep significantly better and feel more alert during the day if we get at least 150 minutes of exercise a week. Researchers reviewing a sampling of more than 2,000 adults aged 18-to-85 have discovered that 150 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous activity a week provides a 65% improvement in sleep quality. The physically active also report less drowsiness during the day, compared to those with less physical activity. (AKA: You.)

Java isn’t just for drinking! Witness …
• Kill Fridge Odor – Wouldn’t you rather smell coffee than 2-week-old leftovers?
• Reduce Cellulite – Pricey cellulite creams usually contain caffeine. Why not make your own?
• Fix Smelly Hands – Dip them in coffee grounds and wash away garlic, salmon, cilantro odors.
• Make Rich Compost – Many gardeners swear by adding used coffee grounds to compost.
• Get Shiny Hair – Strong coffee is a simple, natural treatment to make hair extra-glossy.
• Reduce Fireplace Dust – Sprinkle damp coffee grounds on ashes to make clean-up easier.
• Repel Ants – Sprinkle dry, used coffee grounds in problem areas.
• Keep Away Cats – Sprinkle used grounds on gardens and cats will want nothing to do with them.
• Repel Fleas – Rub used, damp coffee grounds through your pet’s fur after bathing.
• Touch Up Furniture Scratches – Rub in a bit of instant coffee dampened into a paste.


Have you noticed? Stretched ear lobes are becoming an increasingly common sight in the street. Statistics are not easy to come by but, as with tattoos, there is extensive anecdotal evidence that ear stretching is on the rise. More people are wearing them, DIY kits are more widely available, and there is a much greater choice of related jewelry. People who are obsessed with getting the largest stretch possible are known in the biz as a ‘gauge queen’ or ‘gauge king’. (Makes a good place to store hangars when doing laundry at the laundromat.)
– “BBC News Magazine”

The tradition of saddling offspring with horrifically ‘creative’ names has continued this year. A few of our faves …
• Moroccan & Monroe – Mariah Carey
• Morocco – Mike Tyson
• Bear Blu – Alicia Silverstone
• Kannon – Kevin James
• Bingham – Matt Bellamy/Kate Hudson
• Aleph – Natalie Portman


• Miami is now the worst city in America to find a job. For every job opening listed, there are 4 people looking for work.
• The more you chew, the less you eat. Chewing your food lowers levels of the hormone ghrelin, associated with hunger.
– “American Journal of Clinical Nutrition”
• Taking a nature walk improves short-term memory.
– “Psychological Science”


1960 [51] Amy Grant, Augusta GA, country-pop-gospel singer with 6 Grammy Awards (“Simple Things”, “Baby Baby”) who’s sold over 22 million albums/Mrs Vince Gill since 2000

1971 [40] Christina Applegate, Hollywood CA, TV actress (“Up All Night” 2011, “Samantha Who?” 2007-09, “Married With Children” 1987-97)/movie actress (“Alvin & The Chipmunks” movies, “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy”)/breast cancer survivor

1983 [28] Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut, Vallejo CA, competitive eater (currently ranked #1 in the world by the International Federation of Competitive Eating)

Country singer Joe Nichols (“Gimme That Girl”) is 35; Pop singer Natasha Bedingfield (“Unwritten”) is 30; Rock drummer Ben Wysocki (The Fray) is 27.

TV personality Samantha Harris (“The Insider”) is 38.

• “Black Friday”, the day after US Thanksgiving that’s touted as the biggest single shopping day of the year in America though that’s statistically untrue. Some fast facts …
– The ‘black’ refers to retailers finally turning a profit after spending much of the year ‘in the red’.
– This year, the annual “Record Store Day” (April) is expanding to include a “Black Friday Record Store Day Event”. Red Hot Chili Peppers’ “Blood Sugar Sex Magik” is being re-issued in limited-edition pretty red vinyl. Limited releases from The Beatles, Beastie Boys, Bob Dylan, Nirvana, Soundgarden and many others are also out.
• “Buy Nothing Day”, a 24 hour moratorium on holiday shopping (today in North America; tomorrow internationally), created as a protest against outlandish consumption and commercialism, particularly during the holiday season. This year’s event is also being promoted via the hashtag “#OccupyXmas”.
• “Flossing Day”, a day that truly has ‘strings attached’. (Hey, is that a chunk of spinach between your front teeth?)
• “International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women”, initiated by women’s activists in 1981 and adopted by the UN in 1999 to help raise public awareness of this worldwide problem.
• “Shopping Reminder Day”, marking exactly 1 month until Christmas Day. Just what you wanted to hear, huh?
• “Sinkie Day”, the 20th year of the salute to the time-honored tradition of eating a snack (or an entire meal) over the kitchen sink. People prone to the practice are known as ‘sinkies’.

• “International Aura Awareness Day”, the 10th annual observed on the 4th Saturday of November, celebrating the human energy body, or aura, that purportedly surrounds each of us and which changes according to our health, mood, and character.
• “Muharram”, the first month of the Islamic calendar when the Islamic New Year is observed by Muslims, begins at sundown. The month of Muharram is also the time for several other annual events and is one of 4 sacred months in which fighting is prohibited.

• “Banquet for Monkeys”, the 21st annual feast on the last Sunday of November for over 500 simians in Lop Buri, Thailand. The 80-table banquet of fruit barbecues is prepared by 5-star hotel chefs as payback to the critters for bringing the town tourism. (Not to mention aroma.)
• “Grey Cup”, the 99th Canadian football championship in Vancouver (TSN), featuring the hometown Lions hosting the Winnipeg Blue Bombers.

1992 [09] Disney’s animated blockbuster “Aladdin” opens in movie theaters


1949 [62] “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” 1st appears on music charts (while Gene Autry’s rendition is most popular, 80 different versions of the song have been recorded and over 20 million copies sold)

1972 [39] 1st commercial ‘Coin-Operated Videogame’ (“Pong”)


1977 [34] David Steed balances on a stationary bicycle for a record 9 hours, 15 minutes

[Mon] Cyber Monday
[Tues] “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” (CBS)
[Tues] Electronic Greetings Day
[Tues] International Day of Solidarity With the Palestinian People
[Wed] “Grammy Nominations Concert Live” (CBS)
[Wed] Stay Home Because You’re Well Day
This Week Is … Better Conversation Week
This Month Is … Vegan Month


• Other than the 9 traditional CFL cities, which 2 other cities have hosted the Grey Cup? [Kingston and Sarnia, Ontario.]
• Which stadium has played host to the most Grey Cup Games? [Varsity Stadium, Toronto.]
• T or F: The Grey Cup has consistently been the nation’s highest-rated TV program. [True.]
• Which team has won the most Grey Cups? [Toronto Argonauts.]
• In 1935, which became the first ‘Western’ team to win the Grey Cup? [Winnipeg ‘Pegs.]
• Which team has lost the most Grey Cup games? [Saskatchewan Roughriders.]
• Which was the last hometown team to win the Grey Cup in their own stadium? [BC Lions, 1994]
– “Vancouver Sun” /

Doesn’t ‘expecting the unexpected’ make the unexpected expected?

Question: Many people who have one of THESE never use it, according to a recent household survey.
Answer: A dishwasher.


To eat is human. To digest, divine.

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