Tuesday, November 25, 2014         Edition: #5346


Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Sting’s Broadway musical, “The Last Ship”, has not been quite the success he’d hoped. Since the official opening on October 26th, the show – which cost $15 million to stage – has received mixed reviews and lost $75,000 a week at the box office. In an attempt to reverse its fortunes, Sting now plans to take the stage himself as shipyard foreman ‘Jackie White’. “The Last Ship” is a personal project for Sting, inspired by his childhood in the shipbuilding area of Wallsend UK, and is based on his album of the same name. (It needs car chases!)
– Telegraph.co.uk
★ Sam Smith’s transformation from great pop hopeful to total pecker is nearing completion. He’s been spotted in a Waitrose Supermarket, making a nuisance of himself trying to get noticed. While shopping with his stylist, one of their ‘games’ was to pretend they hadn’t seen each other in years and have a loud reunion in every aisle. Another was getting Sam to lean over shoppers and pretend to reach for items, deliberately trying to get in their way. None took the bait however, which prompted Sam to flat out ask his stylist, “Why is no-one recognizing me?” (Maybe it’s more they’re ignoring you?)
– PopBitch.com
★ And “Game of Thrones” star Natalie Dormer says there should be more male nudity on the medieval-fantasy series. The Brit actress, who’s previously disrobed for her role as ‘Margaery Tyrell’, says the show is better than most in regard to gender equality but she feels more men should have nude scenes. Several male stars have gotten naked onscreen but not ‘all the way’, she notes. And in many of the male nude scenes, the actors are allowed to wear prosthetics so they don’t have to bare their actual privates. (Wouldn’t that be even more embarrassing?)
– TheDailyBeast.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Beck (“Morning Phase”). Rerun.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV2) – The 19th season finalé kicks off with a 1-hour “Road To the Finals” special; followed by a reunion of this season’s couples. Meghan Trainor (“All About That Bass”), Nick Jonas (“Jealous”), Jennifer Hudson (“Go All Night”) perform; the champion is announced.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Garth Brooks (“Man Against Machine”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Pitbull f/Ne-Yo (“Globalization”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tearist (“Living: 2009-Present”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Wu-Tang Clan (“A Better Tomorrow”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Garth Brooks again.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Folk music icon Joni Mitchell.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Lorde (“The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 Soundtrack”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Guest co-host Pitbull.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The viewers’ vote is revealed; 2 contestants are eliminated.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – “Something In the Water” from “Greatest Hits: Decade #1″ is sitting atop the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart this week, proving it actually does belong on the album.
• Guns N’ Roses – Marc Canter’s 2008 biography, “Reckless Road: Guns N’ Roses & The Making of Appetite for Destruction”, is being made into a biopic. While Axl Rose is not involved with the film, he and the rest of the band will get to review the finished script.
• Public Enemy – This week they’re getting into the reissue game with deluxe reissues of “It Takes a Nation Of Millions to Hold Us Back” and “Fear Of a Black Planet”. “Rolling Stone” reports that each includes a bonus disc of extra tracks.
• Sugarhill Gang – Casanova Fly now runs tours of the birthplaces of hip hop in NYC. They are
apparently great fun, and include the death spots for Big Pun and Big L. The downside? “He flogs his book relentlessly,” one tourist says.
• Taylor Swift – The Grammy Museum in LA is hosting an exhibit called ‘The Taylor Swift Experience’, which will debut December 13th and remain through May 10th, 2015. The display includes wardrobe pieces plus never-before-seen personal photos and home videos.
• “YouTube Music Awards” – YouTube will re-launch its video honors in 2015. “Rolling Stone” reports that the show will be revamped, with the website dedicating an entire day next March to music. More info will be announced in January.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “The Expendables 3″ ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): The team of action-genre chestnuts has taken out dictators, rogue agents, and arms dealers, but what can they do about the ‘Expendables’ co-founder? That’s the question facing ‘Barney’ (Sylvester Stallone) and company as they head out on this 3rd, apparently final mission. Co-stars Jason Statham, Jet Li, Antonio Banderas.
• “A Madea Christmas” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): In director Tyler Perry’s seasonal film, his ‘Madea’ character dispenses her unique form of holiday spirit when she’s coaxed into helping a friend pay a surprise Christmas visit to her daughter in a rural town. Co-stars Chad Michael Murray, Tika Sumpter, Larry the Cable Guy.
• “The November Man” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Pierce Brosnan stars as an ex-CIA operative who is brought back into the organization on a very personal mission. He finds himself pitted against his former pupil in a deadly game involving high level CIA officials and the Russian president-elect. Co-stars Luke Bracey, Olga Kurylenko, Bill Smitrovich.
• Also released today: “The Definitive WWI & WWII Collection” (History Channel Compilation); “Extreme Maneater Collection” (Animal Planet Documentary); “Les Blank: Always for Pleasure 1968-1995″ (Documentary Compilation); “Masterpiece Mystery!: Inspector Lewis 7″ (TV); “A Royal Christmas” (Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie); “Signed, Sealed, Delivered for Christmas” (Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie); and “Upstairs, Downstairs: The Ultimate Collection” (Vintage TV).

PARENTING HACKS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER:
✓ If you have more than one child, use the dot method to identify their clothing. Mark 2 dots for the 2nd child, 3 for the 3rd, etc. Saves loads of time when sorting laundry.
✓ An inflatable pool makes a great playpen for babies. Makes sense instead of forking out a fortune for a playpen your baby will only use for a few months.
✓ Scare away big, bad monsters with ‘secret formula’ in a spray bottle. Add monster stickers and fill with water to create a ‘monster spray’ to use whenever your little one gets scared.
✓ Use a sturdy, cardboard box to make a two- or three-step slide on the last few stairs. A fun idea, and so simple.
✓ Give your kids temporary tattoos in case they get lost during an outing. The tats advertise your phone number, ensuring you can reclaim your children.
✓ Another way to advertise your phone number is to add it to a kid-friendly bracelet. You can involve your children in the making of the bracelets, which they will find so much fun.
✓ A pool noodle will prevent little fingers from getting slammed in doors. Cut a wedge into it so that you can insert it into your door frame.
✓ Use glue and glitter to make your own ‘Tooth Fairy Money’. It will actually be a bigger hit with your children than the real deal.
✓ Put your kids to work by turning chores into a fun game. You can make use of just about any game you think of. Who can collect the most trash? Least time for cleaning up an entire room?
– LifeHack.org

BUCKET-KICK DAY:
Want to know when you’ll die? There’s an app for that. It uses information from iPhone’s built-in health software to predict the date of your demise. The aptly-named ‘Deadline’ app makes use of algorithms in conjunction with iPhone’s health-tracking technology, such as number of steps taken per day and flights of stairs climbed. That info is enhanced by a quiz about lifestyle. The user is then presented with a handy countdown clock on the phone’s lock screen as a constant reminder of their mortality. While the app isn’t perfect and may seem like a rather morbid ploy for downloads, it could be the motivation some need to get more exercise or spend more time with family. (A countdown clock widget on you phone … talk about stress-inducing!)
– “Metro”

THE FUNERAL CHART:
A new ranking of the most popular ‘farewell’ songs, based on over 30,000 recent funerals and memorial services in the UK …
1. “Always Look On the Bright Side of Life” (Eric Idle, from Monty Python’s “Meaning of Life”)
2. “The Lord is My Shepherd Psalm 23″ (traditional)
3. “Abide With Me” (traditional)
4. “Match Of the Day Theme” (theme tune from the main football [soccer] program on BBC-TV)
5. “My Way” (1969 hit by Frank Sinatra)
6. “All Things Bright and Beautiful” (traditional)
7. “Angels” (1997 hit by Brit pop star Robbie Williams)
8. “Enigma Variations – Nimrod” (classical composer Edward Elgar)
9. “You’ll Never Walk Alone” (1965 hit by Gerry & The Pacemakers)
10. “Cricket Theme/Soul Limbo” (test match TV theme/Booker T & The MG’s)
(Some obscure choices here. What’s your pick for your final request?)
– “Daily Telegraph”

TRUTH ABOUT DRONES:
Powerful people develop loud, high-pitched, monotonous voices, according to a new study from California’s San Diego State University. Experiments have found that being in a position of power can fundamentally change the way you speak, your voice evolving into a more high-pitched droning sound. The voices of the powerful also tend to be louder, researchers say. The findings are consistent, whether it’s parents attempting to assert authority over children, haggling between a car salesman and customer, or negotiations between heads of state. It’s thought that talking more loudly with less variation in pitch subconsciously indicates to listeners who is in charge … regardless of what they’re saying. (Cuz it’s usually not much.)
– @MailOnline

FOR THE RECORD:
• Japan’s newest maglev ‘bullet train’ travels at up to 311 mph (500 km/h).
– Vox.com
• The world’s largest billboard is in Saudi Arabia and is 250 m (820 ft) long.
– BBC.co.uk

MORE BS SHOCKING FACTS THAT HAPPEN EVERY 5 SECONDS:
Every 5 seconds, 28 new WordPress posts are created.
Every 5 seconds, 6 hours worth of YouTube video content is uploaded.
Every 5 seconds, 300 new Instagram pictures are uploaded.
Every 5 seconds, 1,250 iTunes tracks are downloaded from the iTunes store.
Every 5 seconds, Amazon sells nearly $7,000-worth of product.

BS CHRONOMETER 11.25.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [59] Bruno Tonioli, Ferrara, Italy, TV personality (ABC-TV “Dancing With the Stars” judge since 2005, BBC-TV “Strictly Come Dancing” judge since 2004)

1960 [54] Amy Grant, Augusta GA, country-pop-gospel singer with 6 Grammy Awards (“Simple Things”, “Baby Baby”) who’s sold over 22 million albums/Mrs Vince Gill since 2000

1971 [43] Christina Applegate, Hollywood CA, movie actress (“Anchorman” movies, “Alvin & The Chipmunks” movies)/TV actress (“Samantha Who?” 2007-09, “Married With Children” 1987-97)/breast cancer survivor  UP Next: “Vacation” reboot (2015)

1975 [39] Kristian Nairn, Lisburn, Northern Ireland, 6′-10¾” TV actor (‘Hodor’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2011)

1983 [31] Joey ‘Jaws’ Chestnut, Vallejo CA, competitive eater (currently ranked #1 in the world by the International Federation of Competitive Eating)/8th consecutive hot dog eating title in 2014 (61 in 10 minutes)
NET: http://majorleagueeating.com/rankings.php

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Blasé Day”, a perfect day for the world-weary to revel in their apathy. (Eh, who cares.)

• “International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women”, initiated by women’s activists in 1981 and adopted by the UN in 1999 to help raise public awareness of this worldwide problem.
NET: http://www.un.org/en/events/endviolenceday/

• “Parfait Day”, saluting the yummy treat that’s concocted from layers of ice cream, whipped cream, and any combination of syrups and fruits. Yes, it’s basically a fancy word for a sundae … likely because it’s usually served in a fancy glass.

• “Shopping Reminder Day”, marking exactly 1 month until Christmas Day. Just what you wanted to hear, huh?

• “Strange Names Day”, observed annually on the last Tuesday of November to honor anyone who’s been tagged with a ‘unique’ name. The motivation for this observance came in 2005 when movie star Julia Roberts named her new baby twins ‘Hazel’ and ‘Finneas’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004 [10] Dan Rather announces he’ll step down as anchorman of “CBS Evening News” in March 2005

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1984 [30] Bob Geldof and dozens of pop music stars record “Do They Know It’s Christmas”, to raise funds for Ethiopian hunger relief (a new 30th anniversary edition is again the top-selling recording in Britain)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1949 [65] “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer” 1st appears on music charts (while Gene Autry’s rendition is most popular, 80 different versions have been recorded and 20 million+ copies sold)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1977 [37] David Steed balances on a stationary bicycle (a real bike not an exercise bike) for a record 9 hours, 15 minutes

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] “Horrible Bosses 2″; “The Penguins of Madagascar” open in movie theaters
[Wed] Tie One On Day
[Thurs] Thanksgiving Day (USA)
[Fri] Black Friday
[Fri] Fur-Free Friday
[Fri] Flossing Day
This Week Is … Better Conversation Week
This Month Is … Manatee Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS


BS STRUGGLES EVERY HOLIDAY SEASON RETAIL WORKER EXPERIENCES:
✗ Holiday shoppers who are perched at the door to rush in the minute you open.
✗ Shoppers who destroy everything and buy nothing.
✗ Being understaffed on a busy day. Because your co-worker called in ‘sick’.
✗ Being forced to listen to the same Christmas music over and over. And over.
✗ When you say “Happy Holidays” and the customer feels they have to correct you with, “It’s Merry Christmas”.
✗ Customers thinking that you have a magical supply of merchandise stocked in the back.
✗ Being asked to gift wrap things for free. And then having your skills judged.
✗ Having your scheduled lunch moved around. As well as your day off.
✗ Knowing you’re going to lose your commission when customers return things after the holidays.
✗ Realizing that working during the holidays will sap every ounce of Christmas spirit out of you.
– Adapted from BuzzFeed.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s a must-have in your dream house?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In a poll on workplace behavior, people list THIS as the #1 most annoying thing done by nearby co-workers.
Answer: Talking on a speaker phone.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Chop your own wood; it will warm you twice.


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