Friday, November 3, 2017        Edition: #6090

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

★ The drama between ‘The Fast and the Furious’ co-stars Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Tyrese Gibson continues.  Gibson took to Instagram to reveal that if Johnson appears in the film series’ ninth installment, he will not continue working on the franchise.  His problem lies with the fact that F9 has been delayed so that a spin-off movie featuring Johnson’s character can be released in the meantime.  No word yet from The Rock.
(Why can’t they just settle all this like they do it in ‘The Fast and the Furious’?  Uh, how DO they settle things in The Fast and the Furious?  A race?)
★ Jennifer Lopez has opened up about her 2002 split from Ben Affleck. She says it took her two years to get over the downfall of the relationship…and the bad reviews of ‘Gigli’, the movie they did together.  As she puts it: “My relationship [with Affleck] self-destructed in front of the entire world. It was a two-year thing for me until I picked myself up again”.
(Well, it WAS a pretty horrible thing.  And the movie stunk too.)
★ Mark Ruffalo is talking now about that time last month when he was left super embarrassed and worried for his job when he accidentally live streamed the audio of the first ten minutes of ‘Thor: Ragnarok’ at the premiere after failing to stop live video on his phone. Of course, it’s very unlikely that he would be fired for such an honest mistake, but now that he’s completed filming on ‘Avengers: Infinity War’, Ruffalo jokes that, “I went to bed a leading man and somehow I woke up a grandpa”.
★ Mila Kunis says she once accidentally greeted her UPS delivery driver while topless, but says she wasn’t embarrassed by the blunder.   The star of ‘A Bad Mom’s Christmas’ says one particularly hot day, the UPS guy arrived to find Kunis tending to her newborn son while shirtless.  The driver was apparently more shocked than she was.
(And his buddies still don’t believe him!)
★ After a week that has seen mounting allegations of sexual misconduct against him, Kevin Spacey has released a statement saying that he is seeking treatment.  Spacey is one of several Hollywood figures who have dominated headlines in the last week, accused of sexual harassment or abuse, including Dustin Hoffman and filmmakers Brett Ratner and James Toback.
★ The upcoming movie about Gloria Steinem’s life is shaping up to be a meeting of legends. Oscar-winning ‘Still Alice’ actress Julianne Moore is now attached to play Steinem in the biopic based on the feminist icon’s memoir, ‘My Life on the Road’.

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Saoirse Ronan, Julian Edelman, Clive Davis, Wiz Khalifa featuring Ty Dolla $ign
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jeremy Piven, Walter Isaacson, Kelsea Ballerini
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Mariska Hargitay, John Cho, ZZ Ward featuring Fantastic Negrito, Sonny Emory ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Judi Dench, Kyle MacLachlan, Kasabian ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Keith Olbermann
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kristen Bell, guest co-host Eve
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Blake Shelton, Justin Hartley, Joanna Jedrzejczyk
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kris Jenner
• “George Michael: Freedom” (SHOWTIME): George Michael’s life and career are explored, with an emphasis on the formative period of the late singer’s life. Interviewed: Stevie Wonder; Elton John; Ricky Gervais; Nile Rogers; Mary J. Blige; James Corden; Tony Bennett. Michael’s narrates.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Larry David hosts; Miley Cyrus performs.
• “Shameless” (SHOWTIME): Season 8 premiere.

• Lady Gaga – is engaged to Christian Carino, her talent agent-turned-beau.   The story is that the  pair became secretly engaged over the summer after Carino asked Gaga’s father for permission.
• Beyonce — will star as beloved lioness ‘Nala’ in the Disney live-action adaptation ‘The Lion King’.  She joins Donald Glover, Seth Rogan and James Earl Jones in the star-studded cast.
• The Weeknd – did the breaking up.  He instigated his breakup with Selena Gomez, apparently due to the challenges of a long-distance relationship.  Supposedly, Gomez’s rekindled friendship with Justin Bieber had nothing to do with Weeknd’s decision to end it.
• Demi Lovato – recently had the chance to speak with her idol Aretha Franklin.  Although Demi isn’t giving many details about what they talked about, she did say that she asked the Queen of Soul for career advice.
• Bon Jovi – Bette Midler wants to record an album of Bon Jovi ballads.  She is also a big booster of their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame bid.  She says she is excited for ‘him’ and that she will be voting for their induction.
• Black Sabbath – guitarist  Tony Iommi has revealed that Eminem made a strong pitch to contribute to Iommi’s first solo album.  Eminem was on the verge of breakout success when he contacted Iommi nearly two decades ago. Unfamiliar with the rapper’s work, Iommi declined the request.
• Bob Dylan – his acceptance speech for his 2016 Nobel Prize in literature has been transformed into a new 32-page book, ‘The Nobel Lecture’.  One edition of the book will be released in a signed and numbered limited edition of just 100 copies for $2,500. (So THAT’S how they pay for all those Nobel prizes!)
• Kenny Chesney – says he would ‘probably’ play the Super Bowl halftime show if he were asked.  But he would do it with caution because it always seems to be like the “kiss of death, because it’s just never worked out. There’s always something negative.”
• Blake Shelton – With the release of his new album, ‘Texoma Shore’ today, he has shared a new song called “I Lived It”.  It is a nostalgic ballad that finds Shelton looking back on moments from his life.
• Merle Haggard – A museum dedicated him is set to open in Nashville. ‘The Merle Haggard Museum’ will feature performance costumes, musical instruments and personal items.  A restaurant called Merle’s Meat + Three Saloon will open in the adjacent building, next door to the Johnny Cash museum, and just down from the Patsy Cline museum.

• “Thor: Ragnarok” (PG-13, Action/Adventure):  Imprisoned, the mighty Thor finds himself in a lethal gladiatorial contest against the Hulk, his former ally. Thor must fight for survival and race against time to prevent the all-powerful Hela from destroying his home and the Asgardian civilization. (Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Cate Blanchett, Mark Ruffalo)
• “A Bad Moms Christmas” (R-Rated, Comedy):  A Bad Moms Christmas follows the three under-appreciated and over-burdened women as they rebel against the challenges and expectations of the Super Bowl for moms: Christmas. (Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Kathryn Hahn, Jay Hernandez)
• “My Friend Dahmer” (R-Rated, Drama):  Before Jeffrey Dahmer became a notorious serial killer, he was a shy, alcoholic teen who never quite fit in. Based on the acclaimed graphic novel by Derf Backderf, this is the true, haunting story of Jeffrey Dahmer in high school. (Ross Lynch, Alex Wolff, Anne Heche, Zachary Davis Brown)
• “Last Flag Flying” (R-Rated, Comedy/Drama):  Thirty years after they served together in Vietnam, a former Navy Corpsman Larry “Doc” Shepherd re-unites with his old buddies, former Marines Sal Nealon and Reverend Richard Mueller, to bury his son, a young Marine killed in the Iraq War. (Bryan Cranston, Laurence Fishburne, Steve Carell)
• “LBJ” (R-Rated, Drama):  The story of U.S. President Lyndon Baines Johnson from his young days in West Texas to the White House. (Jennifer Jason Leigh, Woody Harrelson, Bill Pullman, C. Thomas Howell)

Leave it to the good people from Weight Watchers to ruin something else that we love.  They are about to introduce a new low-calorie white wine.  The ‘Weight Watchers’ plan-friendly Sauvignon Blanc, called ‘Cense’, will be lower in calories and sugar than regular white wines.  A five-ounce glass will have 85 calories, instead of your traditional 120.  It will only constitute 3 ‘points’ on the WW plan, as opposed to the usual four for most white wines.  It will come in at 9.6% alcohol, as opposed to the regular 11-13.5% for most white wines.  Now all you need is a nice Weight Watchers brand of potato chips to pair with it.
(Don’t waste my time telling me how many calories are in a glass.  How many in a bottle?)
(Will this wine also inspire my usual flawless dance moves?)
(Will I also be less inclined to send a regrettable text after drinking it?)

Daylight Saving Time ends for about 70 countries this Sunday at 2AM.  Actually, some countries including the U.K. made their changes last weekend.  Daylight Saving Time ends for most on March 11, 2018. The idea to ‘save daylight’ was originally thought up by Benjamin Franklin in 1784.  In 1907, William Willett, who didn’t know it at the time, but he would one day be the great-great-grandfather of Coldplay’s Chris Martin, campaigned for clocks to be turned back in a leaflet entitled ‘The Waste of Daylight’.  The policy eventually came into effect in 1916 in a bid to save candles and coal during World War One, though Germany had already adopted the idea.  The US and Canada largely jumped aboard in 1918, (Saskatchewan still hasn’t got the memo…or they got it and ripped it up!).  Oh, and by the way?  The correct term is ‘Daylight Saving Time’, not ‘Daylight SavingS Time’.  But because almost everyone says it with an ‘S’ at the end of the word ‘saving’, some dictionaries now say that it is “acceptable to make ‘saving’ plural because the mistake is so common that it is now conventional.
(Thanks.  Now can you tell me how to change the clock in my car?)
(I plan to really enjoy the upcoming 4 months because the time on my oven clock will be correct!)
-Express, WeatherNetwork, QZ, Wiki

A new Danish study has found that changing from daylight saving time to standard time increases the number of cases of serious depression. The study found that the number of patients diagnosed with depression rises immediately after moving from daylight saving time to standard time, with the number of cases approximately eight percent higher than expected.  Other factors such as the change in the length of the day and the decline in weather which were taken into account in the study.  The researchers believe that although the study was based on severe depression in psychiatric hospitals, the transition might also increase the chance of other, less serious forms of depression.  The problem might be that the change takes an hour of daylight from the afternoon and adds it to the morning — a time when many people may not benefit from it as they are indoors at that time. When they are free to get outside later in the day, it is already dark.  Research has suggested that getting outdoors in the morning is most beneficial.  Exercise, light therapy lamps and cognitive behavioral therapy can help fight depression in the winter months.
(Why do we do this again?)

• In Latin, ‘novem’ means ‘nine’. In ancient Rome, November was the 9th month. 5th-century Anglo-Saxons called it ‘Wind Month’.
• 14% of kids will hoard their Halloween candy for a year or more.
– M&M Survey


1952 [65] Roseanne Barr, Salt Lake City UT, TV actress (Award-winning actress who became known for playing the title role in the sitcom “Roseanne” 1992-1997.  An 8-episode series reboot will air on ABC in 2018)

1954 [63] Phil Simms, Lebanon KY, NFL analyst (CBS-TV)/former NFL quarterback (2 Super Bowls with NY Giants 1979-93)

1957 [60] Dolph Lundgren, Stockholm, Sweden, movie actor (“The Expendables” films, “Rocky IV”)/martial artist

1987 [30] Colin Kaepernick, Milwaukee WI, NFL QB (San Francisco 49ers 2011-16) Gained widespread attention when he began protesting what he viewed as the oppression of people of color in the United States by not standing while the US national anthem was being played before the start of games

1987 [30] Elizabeth Smart, Salt Lake City UT, activist (made international news after being kidnapped at age 14. She was rescued nine months later and later became a child safety activist and a contributor for ABC News)

1995 [22] Kendall Jenner, LA CA, fashion model/TV personality (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”)/fashion designer (Kendall & Kylie)

1947 [70] Ivonne Coll, Fajardo, Puerto Rico, TV actress (‘Alba Villanueva’ on “Jane the Virgin” since 2014)

1960 [57] Kathy Griffin, Oak Park IL, standup comedian/TV personality (“Kathy Griffin: My Life On the D-List” 2005-10)

1961 [56] Jeff Probst, Wichita KS, TV reality show host (“Survivor” since 2000)

1969 [48] Matthew McConaughey, Uvalde TX, movie actor (“Dallas Buyers Club”)/TV actor (“True Detective” 2014) COMING UP…Serenity, 2018

1969 [48] Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs, Harlem NY, hip-hop artist (“I’ll Be Missing You”)/recording mogul (Bad Boy Records)/fashion designer (Sean John)/entrepreneur (Ciroc Vodka)

1975 [42] Curtis Stone, Melbourne, Australia, celebrity chef/TV personality (“My Kitchen Rules”, “Top Chef Masters”)

TV personality/‘momager’ Kris Jenner (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) is 62; rock singer Bryan Adams (“Summer of ’69”) is 58; Movie actress Tilda Swinton (“Grand Budapest Hotel”) is 57; Rock musician Jonny Greenwood (Radiohead) is 46; Singer-guitarist Ryan Adams (“Bad Blood”) is 43; TV actor Luke Hemsworth (“Westworld”) is 37


• “Cliché Day”. It’s amazing how they infiltrate our daily conversations. Try to make it through an entire show without anyone uttering a cliché.  Hit the buzzer every time one pops up!
✗ “To be honest …”
✗ “Threw me under the bus.”
✗ “It is what it is.”
✗ “I’m not joking.”
✗ “With all due respect …”
✗ “Bite the bullet.”
✗ “Par for the course.”
✗ “Run it up the flagpole.”
✗ “You know what I mean?”
✗ “At the end of the day …”

• “Sandwich Day”, celebrating the 1718 birth of John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich. A compulsive gambler, he wanted something that could be eaten at gaming tables and earned immortality when he began eating beef between slices of toast in 1792. (Some dissenters say Montagu stole the idea from a guest, the Earl of Shrewsbury.  So it should be a peanut butter shrewsbury, a grilled cheese shrewsbury, a knuckle shrewsbury, etc.) Here’s a listing of some truly odd sandwiches …

• “Housewife Day”, recognizes the importance of stay at home wives and moms. Also referred to as “Retro” Housewife Day. These wonderful, caring creatures, build and enrich strong family environments. They help to instill family values and good character. (Probably best not to call them that, though…)

• “Jersey Day”, today is the day to express your fandom for your favorite professional football players.  (And to find out who at your workplace judges people according to what team they cheer for!)

• “Candy Day”, for some unknown reason. Maybe a day to try to figure out what to do with all the leftover Halloween candy before your entire family’s teeth are ruined?

• “King Tut Day”, celebrates the date of the discovery of King Tutankhamen’s Tomb. King Tut’s rule lasted a short nine years, from 1333 B.C. to 1324 B.C. The cause of his death is uncertain. Murder and an innocent accident are the two main theories.

• “Book Lovers Day”.  No matter where you are, you’re never alone … as long as you have a book.  Is reading as good when using a Kindle or iPad?

• “International Skeptics Day” … or so they claim.

• “Daylight Saving Time” in North America officially ends at 2 am. Remember: Spring forward, Fall back, so set your clock back an hour. (Hey, it’s a long weekend!)

• “Zero Tasking Day”, always the same day that Daylight Saving Time ends, a day to do absolutely squat with the extra 60 minutes you put on the clock because the real gift for this day is not feeling like you have to do something worthwhile with that ‘extra hour’.

• “Love Your Red Hair Day”, a day to celebrate the beauty of those gorgeous red tresses. Today, gingers should feel confident, look amazing, and rock their beauty. You’re encouraged to celebrate your red hair by posting photos on social media using #LoveYourRedHairDay.

• “Guy Fawkes Day” in England, a traditional celebration since 1752 (also celebrated in New Zealand and the Canadian province of Newfoundland & Labrador). It commemorates the 1605 ‘Gunpowder Plot’ when Fawkes-led Catholics attempted to blow up the Parliament Buildings.

1990 [27] “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice becomes the first rap tune to top pop charts

2004 [13] Eric Clapton is made a CBE (Commander Of the Order Of the British Empire) by Princess Anne at Buckingham Palace in London

1995 [22] 1st regular season game for NBA’s Toronto Raptors (a win over NJ Nets)

2014 [03] NYC’s One World Trade Center officially opens, 13 years after terrorists destroyed the twin towers of the original World Trade Center

2004 [13] “Jeopardy!” contestant Ken Jennings shatters the record for game show earnings by accumulating $2,197,000 (finished with $3,270,700, later exceeded by Brad Rutter – $4,385,702)


✓ A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time meaning 1/100th of a second.
✓ For years, the pharmaceutical company Bayer held the trademark for the word “heroin” and sold the drug as a cough and headache remedy.
✓ Polar Bears trying to blend in with the ice will cover up their black nose with their paws.
✓ In an average NFL football game, there are only about 12 minutes of actual play time.
✓ It would take 1,200,000 mosquitoes, all sucking at once, to completely drain the average human of blood.
✓ If you started with $0.01 and doubled your money every day, it would take 27 days to become a millionaire.

• Leaping out of bed saying “Yippeeee it’s a new day!”
• Speaking to someone before noon.
• Not being poked in the face by my kids.
• Being in a good mood.
• Respecting anyone who owns a dog, a bird or a power tool.
• Hitting the snooze button just once.
• Being nice to people.
• Finding that lost glass slipper from last night.
• Decaf.
• Waking up.


• Hooray! An extra hour in bed! Bed! Bed! Bed! I’m going to put on new sheets. Maybe get a new blanket. God I love sleep. I’m definitely going to go to bed at the ‘same’ time.
• I’m not sure my mom’s reminded me enough about the clocks. She only texted twice, emailed, and rang me this morning.
• Why am I so hungry? Seriously, it’s only 7 am and I could chew that guy’s arm off to get his bacon sandwich.
• No, really, why am I so hungry? It’s only 11 am and I’ve already eaten my lunch and been to the bakery for a danish.
• Why do we even change the clocks in the first place? It’s something to do with farmers, isn’t it?
• Is my phone showing the right time? It should auto-update, shouldn’t it?
• It’s so dark out. I need a flashlight just to find my front door.
• Why am I so tired? This is basically jet lag. Standard time jet lag.
• Oh good, I haven’t missed “Jane the Virgin”. Oh wait, I have missed it! Stupid microwave clock.
• I’ll just go to bed now. Seems like a good idea.
• How is it 1 am? And I’m wide awake again!
– Adapted from “Metro”

☎ Does a woman have the right to dip into her man’s wallet and take a few bucks? Does a man have a right to ‘borrow’ money from her purse?

The best things in life are actually really expensive.

Question:  57% of employers are less likely to promote someone, who does this in the office.  What?
Answer: Uses profanity

We will never hear about the truly perfect crime.

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