November 30, 2011

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Wednesday, November 30, 2011        Edition: #4641
December Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

You will soon be able to by printer & copier paper from ‘Dunder-Mifflin’ (the fictional company on NBC-TV’s “The Office”) through online retailer (ironically owned by Staples, one of the main ‘Dunder-Mifflin’ competitors on the show) . . . Actor Tobey Maguire has reportedly settled that underground poker ring lawsuit to the tune of $80,000 (and he calls) . . . David Hasselhoff has asked fans (?!?!?) to bombard Simon Cowell with messages begging for his reinstatement as a judge on the TV show “Britain’s Got Talent” (he was axed earlier this year after 1 season, even less than he lasted on “America’s Got Talent”) . . . Acting couple Maggie Gyllenhaal & Peter Sarsgaard are expecting their 2nd child, her rep confirming she’s about 4 months along (the “Crazy Heart” actress says she’ll be ‘laying low for a little bit’) . . . Actress Eva Longoria is gushing in Spanish “Vanity Fair” about how ‘lucky’ she is to have rebounded from her broken marriage into a relationship with Penelope Cruz’s brother, Eduardo Cruz, whom she calls ‘Edu’ (she’s sounding a bit desperate for a housewife) . . . Actress Melissa McCarthy (“Mike & Molly”, “Bridesmaids”) has revealed that in high school she was voted ‘Most Punk’ (with her drive, it should have been ‘Spunk’) . . . 22-year-old “Harry Potter” actor Daniel Radcliffe has been named the ‘Richest British Star Under Age 30’, with an estimated fortune of $82.7 million (ahead of runners-up  Keira Knightley and Robert Pattinson) . . . And Brit royal-in-law Pippa Middleton was been spotted hanging out with 2 mystery men at a tennis match, but no one seems to know which (if either … or both) she’s dating (hey, in tennis ‘love’ means ‘nothing’).


• “Christmas In Rockefeller Center” (NBC) – The traditional giant tree-lighting ceremony includes performances by Carole King, Cee Lo Green, Faith Hill, Javier Colon, Justin Bieber, Katharine McPhee, Michael Bublé, Tony Bennett, and – of course – the Radio City Rockettes.
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Bono (U2).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Motown legend Stevie Wonder.
• “Grammy Nominations Concert Live!” (CBS/Global) – LL Cool J hosts from LA’s Nokia Theater. Performers include The Band Perry, Jason Aldean, Lady Gaga, Ludacris, Lupe Fiasco,
Rihanna, Sugarland, and Usher. The 54th “Grammy Awards” are handed out at LA’s Staples Center on February 12th.
• “I Hate My Teenage Daughter” (FOX) – Series debut of a new comedy about a pair of moms (Jaime Pressly, Katie Finneran) with daughters who’ve turned out to be ‘mean girls’.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – My Morning Jacket (“Circuital”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Mona (“Mona”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Hot Chelle Rae (“Whatever”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – The Civil Wars (“Barton Hollow”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Hot Chelle Rae (“Whatever”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Neil Diamond (“Cherry Cherry Christmas”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Iron & Wine (“Kiss Each Other Clean”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Monica (“New Life”).

• David Bowie – It looks like a London stage production about his life called “Heroes: The Musical” may be a no-go after his rep announced that neither he nor his management are in negotiations for his songs to be used. (Or maybe he’s just holding out for more moolah?)
• Keith Urban – He’s undergone successful vocal chord surgery for a polyp and will not be able to speak or sing for about 3 weeks.
• Lady Antebellum – “We Owned the Night” has taken the top spot on the “Billboard” magazine ‘Country Songs’ chart this week, giving them their 6th career #1 hit.
• Madonna – MIA has confirmed via Twitter that both she and Nicki Minaj will be featured on Madonna’s as-yet-untitled new album. It’s expected to be released in Spring 2012.
• *NSYNC – JC Chasez tells the once chart-topping boy-band will never reunite … ever. (Well, there’s a ray of sunshine!)
• Rihanna – Word has it she may be exhausted and stressing out during her “Loud Tour”, which features over 100 dates. Sources say she nearly canceled a weekend show in Dublin, Ireland but was reportedly talked into going ahead with it after a call to her pal Beyoncé.
• Tim McGraw – This morning his lawyers and a team from Curb Records will be in a Nashville court to argue whether or not he’s sufficiently fulfilled his contract in order to move to another record label. As no witnesses will be called, it’s expected there will be a ‘fairly quick’ ruling. His latest album, “Emotional Traffic”, remains unreleased and in limbo due to the dispute.
• TLC – Tionne Watkins, or ‘T-Boz’ as she was known at the height of the hip-hop trio’s popularity in the ‘90s, has just declared bankruptcy. (Guess that makes her a ‘scrub’.)
• Toby Keith – “Red Solo Cup” is officially the 2nd single from “Clancy’s Tavern” after the video became a viral hit with more than 4 million web-views. The song will be featured on the December 6th episode of “Glee” (FOX).

New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘Call Laundering’ – Hiding the identity of a caller or making a phone call untraceable. Telemarketers increasingly are disguising their real identities and phone numbers to provoke people to pick up the phone, ie: ‘Humane Soc’ may not actually be the Humane Society.
• ‘Clown Burlesque’ – A growing subculture of nightclub entertainment in which women in clown makeup perform suggestive dances amid strategically placed pink-balloon pasties. The odd wrinkle has become popular in various cities, including Detroit, London, and San Francisco.
• ‘Encore Entrepreneurs’ – People middle-aged and up who are interested in initiating a business start-up. There’s apparently a whole generation of Baby Boomers who want to start businesses, one poll finding 1-in-4 people aged 44-to-70 has interest in building a new enterprise.

Scientists have come up with an explanation for why office parties are so often the cause of embarrassing and inappropriate behavior. Researchers have found that drinking in environments not normally associated with alcohol consumption can leave us out of control. That’s because the brain learns to compensate for the inhibition-lowering effects of alcohol in a familiar setting, such as a pub or at home with friends. But when we drink in an unfamiliar environment like the workplace, we get no benefit from this built-in tolerance and lose control of  inhibitions. (This always happens in church too … don’t you find?)


A credit card is like an old cassette tape. And just as your vintage copy of “Van Halen II” got fuzzy after hundreds of repeat performances, a credit card slowly gets garbled from over-swiping. The reason – both the old tape and the card’s magnetic stripe are made up of millions of iron-oxide particles that convey data by generating electrical pulses in the reader. With wear, these particles get smeared, creating background noise. Luckily, this noise has very low magnetism and it can be dampened by increasing the space between the magnetic stripe and the head that reads it. So simply cover the stripe with Scotch tape. (If only reviving David Lee Roth’s career were that easy!)

What makes a tune catchy? British psychologist Susan Blackmore says memory is critical. Songs that are easier to remember go around-and-around in your head, becoming so-called ‘earworms’ that you can’t seem to stop repeating. Brain scans show that, with familiar tunes, activity in the auditory cortex carries on during deliberate gaps in the sound but with unfamiliar ones it doesn’t. Also, songs where the end of one section leads straight back to the beginning are more infectious. (For more information, listen to “Pumped Up Kicks” … it’ll drive you nuts!)
– “Focus Magazine”

• Fitness experts say you should stick with bent-shaft snow shovels this Winter. You’ll bend less and clear snow more efficiently.
– “Applied Ergonomics”
• Finnish researchers have found one of the best ways to navigate through a crowd is to lead with your eyes. Look directly ahead, which allows others to see clearly where you want to go. If you keep your gaze fixed, others will instinctively get out of the way.


1929 [82] Dick Clark, Mount Vernon NY, TV producer (“American Music Awards”, “Golden Globe Awards”)/TV host (“New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” since 1972)/suffered a stroke in 2004

1937 [74] Ridley Scott, South Shields UK, movie producer/director (“Robin Hood”, “Gladiator”)

1957 [54] Colin Mochrie, Kilmarnock, Scotland [raised Vancouver BC], improv comedian (“This Hour Has 22 Minutes” 2001-03, “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 1998-2004)

1965 [46] Ben Stiller, NYC, movie actor (“Night At the Museum” films, “Meet the Parents” films)/movie producer-director (“Tropic Thunder”, “Blades of Glory”)

1978 [33] Clay Aiken (Grissom), Raleigh NC, pop singer (“The Way”, “Solitaire”)/Broadway actor (“Monty Python’s Spamalot”)/2003 “American Idol” runner-up

1982 [29] Elisha Cuthbert, Calgary AB [grew up Longueuil QC], movie actress (“The Girl Next Door”, “Old School”)/TV actress (“24” 2001-10)

1985 [26] Kaley Cuoco, Camarillo CA, TV actress (‘Penny’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2007, “8 Simple Rules” 2002-05)

• “International Computer Security Day”, to remind us to protect our computers, programs, and data at home and work. Remember, there are evil tech people who want to enslave your computer for their nefarious uses, so always practise safe surfin’!

• “Meth Awareness Day”, a day of education and awareness of the dangers of methamphetamine. (Is ‘Walter White’ the poster boy?)

• “St Andrew’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of Scotland who hurled his last haggis in 60 AD. It’s the wannabe independent country’s national day. Be sure to dust off your sporran!

• “Stay Home Because You’re Well Day”, a day to call in ‘well’ instead of having to fake sickness in order to get a day off. (Yeah right, try this stunt and you can stay home every day.)

2004 [07] After amassing $2,520,700 on TV quiz show “Jeopardy!”, contestant Ken Jennings is finally knocked off by real estate agent Nancy Zerg on a question about taxes (during his record 75-game run, he gives correct responses to over 2,700 clues)

1982 [29] Michael Jackson’s first solo album in 3 years, “Thriller”, is released and goes on to become one of the best-selling albums in history

1984 [27] Japan’s #3 automaker, Toyo Kogyo, changes its name to ‘Mazda’ (somewhat catchier)

1974 [37] Marva Drew of Waterloo, Iowa finishes typing the numbers from ‘1’ to ‘1 million’ on a manual typewriter after 6 years and 2,473 sheets of paper (are we compulsive?)

1985 [26] ‘World’s Largest Beer Mug’, a 6-foot tankard that holds 615 gallons, is unveiled by the Selangor Pewter Company of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

[Dec 1] World AIDS Day / 2011 National Christmas Tree Lighting (Washington DC) / “CMA Country Christmas” (ABC) / “A Russell Peters Christmas” (CTV) / Bifocals At the Monitor Liberation Day / Civil Air Patrol Day / Day Without Art / Rosa Parks Day / Special Kids Day
[Dec 2] Billboard Women in Music Awards (NYC) / NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Awards (Las Vegas) / International Day For the Abolition of Slavery / Mutt Day / Special Education Day
[Dec 3] International Day of Disabled Persons
[Dec 4] “Sucker Free Awards” (MTV2) / Cookie Day / Dice Day
[Dec 5] “American Country Awards” (FOX) / AFL-CIO Day / Ashura (Muslim) / Bathtub Party Day / International Ninja Day / International Volunteer Day for Economic & Social Development
[Dec 6] Amy Winehouse’s “Lioness: Hidden Treasures” released / “A Michael Bublé Christmas” (NBC) / Miners Day / Pawnbrokers Day / St Nicholas Day
[Dec 7] Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day / International Civil Aviation Day / Cotton Candy Day
[Dec 9] “New Year’s Eve”; “The Sitter” open in movie theaters / International Anti-Corruption Day / Salespersons Day
[Dec 10] Full ‘Cold’ Moon / Day Of the Horse / Dewey Decimal System Day / Human Rights Day / International Shareware Day / Nobel Prize Day
[Dec 11] Angry Birds Day / International Mountain Day / Worldwide Candle Lighting Day / World Choral Day
[Dec 12] Poinsettia Day
[Dec 13] “2011 CMT Artists Of the Year” (CMT)
[Dec 14] Monkey Day
[Dec 15] Cat Herders Day
[Dec 16] “Alvin & The Chipmunks – Chipwrecked”; “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” (IMAX); “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows”; “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”; “Young Adult” open in movie theaters / “Christmas in Washington” (TNT) / Chocolate-Covered Anything Day / Underdog Day
[Dec 17] Wright Bros Day
[Dec 18] International Migrants Day
[Dec 19] “VH1 Divas” (VH1)
[Dec 20] Hanukkah begins (Jewish) / International Human Solidarity Day
[Dec 21] “The Adventures of Tintin”; “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo”; “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” open in movie theaters / “A Home For the Holidays With Martina McBride” (CBS) / Crossword Puzzle Day / Forefathers Day / Humbug Day / Homeless Persons Remembrance Day
[Dec 22] Winter begins / Re-Gifting Day / Haiku Poetry Day / Yule
[Dec 23] “We Bought a Zoo” opens in movie theaters
[Dec 24] Christmas Eve
[Dec 25] Christmas / “The Darkest Hour”; “War Horse” open in movie theaters
[Dec 26] Boxing Day / Kwanzaa begins / Candy Cane Day / Thankyou Note Day / Whiners Day
[Dec 29] Tick Tock Day
[Dec 30] Bacon Day / Falling Needles Family Fest Day
[Dec 31] New Years Eve / Make Up Your Mind Day / No Interruptions Day / Universal Hour of Peace Day / World Peace Meditation Day


A University of Michigan study finds there are several tell-tale signs that indicate your spouse may be fooling around on you. Among them – not saying ‘I love you’ as frequently, giving sudden and unexpected gifts, cutting short phone conversations when you show up, and … smelling different. A few other tip-offs …
• He keeps going to visit his sick grandmother . . . who died 11 years ago.
• She takes birth control pills even though you’ve had a vasectomy.
• His old wedding ring is now being used as a nose ring.
• She says you were great last night … and you were in Winnipeg.
• Your back door now revolves.
• You reach into the closet and someone hands you your coat.
• She’s got lipstick on her collar.

How do you discipline your kids?

I don’t mind crowds … it’s just people I can’t stand.


Question: Men do this 19 times a day on average, women just 10 times.
Answer: Think about sex. (Women also likely think about it longer.)

Life is only understood backward, but must be lived forward.

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