Wednesday, November 30, 2016 – Edition: #5862

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

★ Caitlyn Jenner has revealed new details about her upcoming memoir “The Secrets of My Life” which is being published April 25th, 2017. The 67-year-old TV personality previously known as Bruce Jenner first announced she was working on the memoir in January this year, promising the book would detail her journey into womanhood. Caitlyn has opened up about how her youngest daughters, Kendall & Kylie Jenner, have now accepted her transition thanks to the support she gets on social media. Quote: ”Like, ‘You know what? It’s going to be OK. People still love my daddy.”’
– Bang Showbiz
★ Some people have recently been calling out Amber Heard for allegedly failing to donate her divorce payoff from Johnny Depp to charity as she promised several months ago. However, there seems to be a very good reason for that … the divorce papers have not yet been signed. When their settlement was agreed to in August, the 30-year-old actress pledged to donate the reputed $7 million she’s receiving to the ACLU and the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. Heard’s lawyer says the settlement documents are just now being finalized and will be signed this week.
– E! News
★ Model and TV personality Amber Rose has vowed to stay off social media until the start of 2017. Kanye West’s ex-girlfriend and rapper Wiz Khalifa’s ex-wife has told fans she won’t be personally posting anything on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook in December (although her assistant will post ‘cool stuff’ on her behalf). It’s unclear why Amber has become the latest celeb to take a break from social media, but what can we say but … thankyou for giving us all a break!

• “Christmas in Rockefeller Center” (NBC) – Matt Lauer, Savannah Guthrie, Al Roker, and Hoda Kotb host the 84th annual tree-lighting ceremony live from NYC. Performers include Tony Bennett, Neil Diamond, Josh Groban, Sarah McLachlan, Dolly Parton and, of course, the Radio City Rockettes.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Dorothy (“Rock Is Dead”).
• “Dolly Parton’s Christmas of Many Colors: Circle of Love” (NBC) – TV movie debut. Following a highly rated special last year, this is the 2nd chapter in the life of a young Dolly Parton.
• “Incorporated” (Syfy/Showcase) – Debut of s new series set in a near future when corporations have unlimited power. (In other words, a few months into the Trump presidency.) Stars Sean Teale, Allison Miller, Dennis Haysbert, and Julia Ormond.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Butch Walker (“Stay Gold”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Band of Skulls (“By Default”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Against Me! (“Shape Shift with Me”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Sleigh Bells (“Jessica Rabbit”).
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Dolly Parton (“Christmas of Many Colors”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Wrabel (“Sideways”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Car Seat Headrest (“Teens Of Denial”).
• Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (Paris, France) – The annual TV special tapes in Paris and then airs December 5th on CBS-TV. Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, and The Weeknd perform.
• “Vikings” (History) – Travis Fimmel returns as ‘Ragnar’ in the debut of the last half of the 4th season. The new episode is preceded by a recap special.

• Drake – He’s reportedly no-showed for a gig in Abu Dhabi after being paid $250,000 upfront for an appearance at pop-up nightclub VIP Room in the Gulf state on Saturday night. According to “Daily Mirror”, fans waited until 5 am but Drake never materialized.
• Justin Bieber – He and One Direction’s Liam Payne have partied up a storm at the London premiere of Olympic champ Usain Bolt’s biopic “I Am Bolt”. The 22-year-old pop star and a variety of celeb pals then descended on Tape nightclub for an afterparty.
• Kanye West – An inside source tells “People” magazine that he is very paranoid at UCLA Medical Center and is under constant watch for his safety. Quote: “He’s still there because clearly he’s not doing well.”
• Luke Bryan – He’s extending his “Kill the Lights Tour” into the new year with new dates added in February and March. Brett Eldredge will open when the next leg of the tour kicks off February 16th in Huntington WV.
• Prince – A 4-day event featuring some of his backing bands (The Revolution, New Power Generation, 3rdEyeGirl) and collaborators will take place at Paisley Park beginning next April 20th. The ‘Celebration 2017’ event is scheduled to mark the 1st anniversary of his death. Tickets can be purchased from the Paisley Park website … starting at $499.
• Tyga – He’s being sued yet again for allegedly failing to keep up with the payments on his 2016 Ferrari 488. The 27-year-old rapper is being hit up for $150,000 as well as attorney fees and punitive damages. Meanwhile, Tyga has showered 19-year-old girlfriend Kylie Jenner with numerous gifts, including a $320,000 Ferrari and a $189,000 Maybach.

The winner of the ‘Bad Sex in Fiction Award’ is being announced today by the trade magazine “Literary Review”. The ‘honor’ salutes the worst passage about sex from literature this year. Some of the contenders …
✗ Ethan Canin’s “A Doubter’s Almanac” – “The act itself was fervent. Like a brisk tennis game or a summer track meet, something performed in daylight between competitors.”
✗ Tom Connolly’s “Men Like Air” – “He watched her passport rise gradually out of the back pocket of her jeans in time with the rhythmic bobbing of her buttocks …”
✗ Erri De Luca’s “The Day Before Happiness” – “My body was her gearstick.”
✗ Janet Ellis’ “The Butcher’s Hook” – “I slide my hands down his back, all along his spine, rutted with bone like mud ridges in a dry field …”
✗ Gayle Forman’s “Leave Me” – “Once they were in that room, Jason had slammed the door and devoured her with his mouth, his hands, which were everywhere. As if he were ravenous.”
✗ Robert Seethaler’s “The Tobacconist” – “He closed his eyes and heard himself make a gurgling sound.”
(May the best bang win!)
– Condensed from “Entertainment Weekly”

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 50% of us feel guilty about eating sugar.
• 40% of us like NY-style thin crust pizza (7% prefer Chicago deep dish-style).
• 30% of us will re-gift something during the Christmas season.
• 14% of Americans cannot identify the USA on a map.

New terms entering the lingo …
• ‘Flake Rate’ – The percentage of people who volunteer to help do something but then do not show up. They ‘flake’ off.
• ‘Glass Wall’ – Said to be the new ‘glass ceiling’. Women aren’t just being overlooked for the next promotion, they are being shut out behind a literal glass wall by male-oriented office culture.
• ‘Man Tax’ – An independent pharmacy in NYC recently imposed a 1-day, 7% ‘man tax’ to raise awareness of the ongoing debate over taxes on feminine hygiene products and the gender inequality women experience when purchasing personal health products.

60% of apps in the Google Play app store have never been downloaded.


1937 [79] Ridley Scott, South Shields UK, movie producer-director (“The Martian”, “Gladiator”) COMING UP: “Alien: Covenant”, opening May 19, 2017

1952 [64] Mandy Patinkin, Chicago IL, TV actor (‘Saul Berenson’ on “Homeland” since 2011)/movie actor (“The Princess Bride”)/Broadway actor

1955 [61] Billy Idol, Stanmore UK, classic rocker (“White Wedding”)/author (“Dancing With Myself”)/Vegas performer (“Billy Idol: Forever” at the House of Blues)

1957 [59] Colin Mochrie, Kilmarnock, Scotland [raised Vancouver BC], improv comedian (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 1998-2004, 2013-present)

1965 [51] Ben Stiller, NYC, movie actor (“Night At the Museum” films, “Meet the Parents” films)/movie producer-director (“Tropic Thunder”, “Blades of Glory”)

1982 [34] Elisha Cuthbert, Calgary AB [grew up Longueuil QC], TV actress (“The Ranch” 2016, “24” 2001-10)/movie actress (“Old School”)/wed to NHL player Dion Phaneuf in 2013

1985 [31] Kaley Cuoco, Camarillo CA, TV actress (‘Penny’ on “The Big Bang Theory” since 2007, “8 Simple Rules” 2002-05)

1985 [31] Chrissy Teigen, Delta UT, TV host (“Lip Sync Battle”)/fashion model (“Sports Illustrated”)/wed to singer John Legend in 2013

• “International Computer Security Day”, to remind us to protect our computers, programs, and data at home and work. Remember to always practise safe surfin’!

• “Meth Awareness Day”, a day of education and awareness of the dangers of methamphetamine. (Is ‘Walter White’ the poster boy?)

• “Mousse Day”, an annual celebration of the divine dessert made from egg whites and cream. Did you know that ‘mousse’ is the French word for ‘foam’? It’s a fitting name for this light, fluffy, and decadent confection.

• “St Andrew’s Day”, honoring the patron saint of Scotland who hurled his last haggis in 60 AD. It’s the wannabe independent country’s national day. Be sure to dust off your sporran!

• “Stay Home Because You’re Well Day”, a day to call in ‘well’ instead of having to fake sickness in order to get a day off.

2004 [12] Canadian journalist/historian Pierre Berton (“Klondike Fever”) dies at age 84

2013 [03] “Fast & Furious” film franchise star Paul Walker and a friend are killed in a single car accident in Santa Clarita CA

2011 [05] Dubstep artist Skrillex is unexpectedly nominated for 5 Grammy Awards, a first in Grammy history for an EDM DJ

2005 [11] 1st human face transplant is performed in France as a woman is given a new nose, lips, and chin following a brutal dog bite

2011 [05] Washington State University researchers develop an artificial bone ‘scaffold’ which uses 3D printers to print replacement bone tissue for injured patients

2012 [04] Physics professor Enzo Di Fabrizio of Magna Graecia University in Catanzaro, Italy successfully takes the 1st direct photograph of DNA

2004 [12] After amassing $2,520,700 on TV quiz show “Jeopardy!”, contestant Ken Jennings is finally knocked off by real estate agent Nancy Zerg on a question about taxes (during his record 75-game run, he gives correct responses to over 2,700 clues)

[Dec 1] “The Great American Baking Show” Season 2 debut (ABC) / “National Christmas Tree Lighting” (PBS) / Antarctica Day / Basketball Day / Bifocals At the Monitor Liberation Day / World AIDS Day
[Dec 2] “Incarnate”; “Jackie” open in movie theaters / Faux Fur Friday / International Day For the Abolition of Slavery / Mutt Day / Salesperson Day / Special Education Day
[Dec 3] Bartender Appreciation Day / International Day of Persons With Disabilities
[Dec 4] “Mariah’s World” debuts (E!) / 2016 Kennedy Center Honors (Washington DC) / Cookie Day / Dice Day / World Wildlife Conservation Day
[Dec 5] “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show” airs (CBS) / British Fashion Awards (London UK) / Bathtub Party Day / International Day Of the Reef / International Ninja Day / World Soil Day
[Dec 6] Miners Day / Pawnbrokers Day / St Nicholas Day
[Dec 7] “Hairspray Live!” (NBC) / AACTA Awards (Sydney, Australia) / International Civil Aviation Day / Special Kids Day
[Dec 8] “Taraji’s White Hot Holidays” special (FOX) / Grammy Award nominees announced / Pretend to Be a Time Traveler Day
[Dec 9] “La La Land”; “Office Christmas Party” open in movie theaters / 11th Women in Music Event (NYC) / Cremation Day / International Anti-Corruption Day / Lost & Found Day
[Dec 10] Day Of the Horse / Dewey Decimal System Day / Gingerbread Decorating Day / Human Rights Day / International Shareware Day / Nobel Prize Day
[Dec 11] 23rd Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo, Norway) / International Mountain Day / Worldwide Candle Lighting Day / World Choral Day
[Dec 12] Green Monday / Fresh Breath Day / Our Lady of Guadeloupe Day / Poinsettia Day
[Dec 13] St Lucy’s Day / Cocoa Day
[Dec 14] “A Pentatonix Christmas Special” (NBC) / Monkey Day / Yoga Day
[Dec 15] Cat Herders Day / Free Shipping Day / Cupcake Day
[Dec 16] “Collateral Beauty”; “Rogue One: A Star Wars Story”; “The Space Between Us” open in movie theaters / Chocolate-Covered Anything Day / Ugly Christmas Sweater Day / Underdog Day
[Dec 17] Clean Air Day / Re-Gifting Day / Wright Bros Day
[Dec 18] “Canada’s Walk of Fame Induction Gala” (Global) / Answer the Phone Like Buddy the Elf Day / International Migrants Day
[Dec 19] 2nd International Congress on Love & Sex with Robots begins (University of London)
[Dec 20] “Tony Bennett Celebrates 90: The Best Is Yet to Come” (NBC) / International Human Solidarity Day / Games Day / Sangria Day
[Dec 21] Winter arrives (5:44 am EST) / Celebrate Short Fiction Day / Crossword Puzzle Day / Global Orgasm Day / Humbug Day / Flashlight Day / Homeless Persons Remembrance Day / Short Girl Appreciation Day
[Dec 22] Date Nut Bread Day / Haiku Poetry Day
[Dec 23] “A Monster Calls”; “Passengers”; “Patriots Day”; “Why Him?” open in movie theaters
[Dec 24] Chanukah begins (Jewish) / Christmas Eve (Christian) / Egg Nog Day
[Dec 25] Christmas Day
[Dec 26] Boxing Day (Canada, UK) / Candy Cane Day / Thankyou Note Day / Whiners Day
[Dec 27] Visit the Zoo Day
[Dec 28] Endangered Species Day
[Dec 29] YMCA Day
[Dec 30] “Fences”; “Gold”; “Hidden Figures”; “Live by Night” open in movie theaters / Bacon Day / Falling Needles Family Fest Day / No Interruptions Day
[Dec 31] New Year’s Eve / Global Champagne Day / World Peace Meditation Day


• You wake up with your braces locked together.
• You need one bathroom scale for each foot.
• You put your bra on backward and it fits better.
• The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
• Your wife says, “Good morning, Bill” … your name is George.
• Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
• Your birthday cake sets off the smoke alarm.
• Your blind date turns out to be your ex-husband.
• Your car payment, house payment, and your girlfriend are all 3 months overdue.

☎ What is the actual best age to be? When did everything fall into place in just the right way?

The son of late Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar (as in “Narcos”) now works in which profession?
a. Comedian.
b. Architect. [CORRECT, in Argentina.]
c. Pharmacist.

Hey, there’s something on your chin. No, no, no … the third one down.

Question: The majority of women do THIS every morning.
Answer: Make the bed.

Now that it’s all over, what did you really do yesterday that’s worth mentioning?

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